Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[narilly]

Great posts, Molly, NS, I have to come back later and read them more carefully so I can put my two cents in.
Off to enjoy my UN Hung Sunday, the weather is nice here, not too cold and Sunny. Oh yeah baby.
I am so glad you all are here, talk later.

[scottish lass]

Such wise words - I know I thought myself above it all - I was intelligent, had common sense, was a nurse (so know the impact) - I was nothing like "those" people. Everything I read, I could find something that spoke to me "see - I am not as bad as that person....I don't do that" - I spent a long time reading and finding every reason why I did not have a problem - I compared myself so many times and always found the one thing that made me different and therefore not of that persuasion.
Joining here, and making relationships with people that I actually respect and admire - and LIKE made me see what a farce I was living. I joined to learn to moderate. I joined to read everyone's stories and convince myself that I was really not that bad. I learnt that I was a human with a problem that I could actually control and become the person I was pretending to be - well, actually better than that - almost deleted that sentence when I realized how crazy it was - I was a liar, but worse, I was lying to myself. I was not living, I was doing myself such a huge injustice - and in that doing those I love an injustice too.
Living for myself (still working on this bit mind you), learning to love myself - respect and treat ME well - allows me to be a better person for all I interact with.
Molly and NS - great musings - thank you.....

[Pavati]

LOVE this conversation, thanks for starting it Molly and NS.

That point about letting go of your story was what the Bubble Hour was about. We try so hard to find a reason behind our drinking, to solve that so we don't have to quit, and to use that story to explain - either to ourselves or to others - why we're different. That is a post I put in the tool box - we think we're unique, but we're all the same in this addiction. I remember when I had my first kid - everything he did I thought was unique, and a display of something original, but then I spent time with other babies and I realize they all do the same thing. Nine months? Time to make an "O" with your mouth and make pincers with your fingers... In a way, it is a relief to see the sameness in alcoholism (still hard for me to type that word), because it means that the experience and evidence from those ahead of us really can point the way. Yes, we are all different, but in the end there are predictable results from predictable behavior. Being willing to do what evidence says is the thing we need to do to stay sober is the key - the old NS motto of faking it until we make it.

I, too, finally joined MWO to find my path to moderation. I figured I'd use it for the 90 days to "fix" myself, and then slip off into the night to have my moderate amounts of alcohol. When I quit lying to myself about my drinking, I was finally able to see myself in all of the stories here, and to let go of "my" story - my defense. I am so happy to have made the connections I have here, and so grateful for you wise people as partners in this staying sober stuff. So much of what I am learning has helped me live a happier and more fulfilled life in many realms.

Thanks Molly and NS for leading the way and sharing your wisdom.

xo
Pav

[scottish lass]

Pav - I also still struggle with calling myself an alcoholic, and have decided I don't need to - there is a huge stigma attached - I don't need it to become what I want to be, it does not change me - so I will not call myself that...I know what I am (and so do you gals and guys), don't need no stinkin' label!!
Molly - this thread is pretty damn incredible......

[patrice]

Hi all,

Thanks for the musings and reflections, it's great to read others experiences and perceptions and how they have changed with time...I used to think.... But now..
NS,Molly,Pav,SL.. What you all used to think and do, you don't now. Shows that we can change our brains and that in fact they are more plastic than we ever knew. You guys are living proof of that and millions more.
Well I've learnt heaps this last week . I've been listening to the Recovery 2.0 Conference and The Healthy Gut Summit. Online Webinars..
To summarize we must be eating probiotic food daily like fermented and cultured food. Cut out Gluten - every speaker emphasized this . I didn't realize that serotonin is produced in the gut . We have a bigger brain in the gut than in the head. .. Mmm imagine how bad our guts were when we were drinking.. Frightening

One thing that resonated from the recovery conference was Bruce Lipton .. He said that repetition is one of the best ways to instill a new habit... Repeating not drinking on a daily basis is creating the new habit...
Anyway, it was so great to be sober and listen to all that stuff.. Even wrote a few notes!!
It's powerful to remember that we can change and that we really are the captains of our own ships.. But we all need lots of different strategies at different times..
Thanks people for helping me build mine!
Xx
Pat

[patrice]

Another thing is that if the gut is really unhealthy it will crave booze or ice cream or unhealthy stuff.... It's not your mind brain wanting it, it's the gut brain.. It over rides the mind brain! Amazing . It has huge control over our thoughts. . I'm off to do get some kimchi!!
One other thing that really hit me was about how we can learn so much in our conscious brain but our subconscious brain requires ' doing' it. I've learnt so much about addiction over the past 5 years but it kind of means nothing until you start doing it... Meaning keeping on not drinking, repetition, keeping on drinking lemon juice in the morning etc.. Repeating and repeating until it gets lodged in the subconscious as a habit, something you now do ( or don't do)
I love the simplicity of that ..
Sorry for banging on.. But for anyone who is interested...
Xx

[NoSugar]

I love all of that, Pat, and agreed wholeheartedly with what you've shared :smile:.

you sound like you've really turned a mental "corner". I'm so happy for you! xx, NS

[available]

Great posts guys and all so true.

My brother was an alcoholic and i was "never" like him. i could control my al, i had 4 children, i was a wife, a mother, i worked, i raised a family, i was paying off a mortgage. I was sooooo not like my alcoholic brother, even after he died, i was sooooo not like my alcoholic brother until one day i realised i was exactly like my alcoholic brother, i too was an alcoholic. I judged someone who I was the mirror image of. That makes me sad. I am no better or worse than he was even if i "had it all" or seemed to. The positive in the sadness is that i was strong enough to get help and support and to keep with it. Andrew could not see a way out, I am sure he wanted to end the madness of al addiction daily but its a hidden disease and he was ostracized at the end of his life. This is why i love MWO, we may all have different lives and live in different places but we all have the same stories involving al. We all want to get better and learn to live without al and its not easy, its fucking hard sometimes to not drink even when we know what it does to us. I know that when i accepted i was an alcoholic and left "my brain" at the door then this journey really began for me.

I will always miss not being "normal" in the sense of not having that "one" to celebrate a special occasion but i also know that i am addicted to the one thing that is totally accepted in society as the norm and therefore i can never drink. I am proud i have the guts and determination to not drink as many just cant stop and that is sad, that al can ruin so many lives.

I do know that gloamers kept me accountable and still does, so much success as a group.

xxxxxx

[treetops]

Hi there - lots of great comments here. Just wanted to say hello - sneaking this in at lunchtime while at work. Busy day for me and I want to go outside and play in the sunshine but can't!!

[scottish lass]

Ava - it really is a successful group here, and a group of people who I want to be like! Molly & TT so good to have you joining in regularily! Pat - love to hear the excitement in your voice as you learn!
Happy here having sober fun on a Sunday (just bought some jeans in a lovely small size - and I feel good in them - even my teens said they make my butt look good! How good is that:yay

[little beagle]

Wonderful posts here tonight.
I watch hubby struggling with the WHY of his addiction. I finally told him that I don't think it matters why. What matters is stopping it, being happy again.After stopping drinking or using that drug of choice we have a lifetime to figure out why. But as time passes, it seems less important to figure out why we do it and it feels more important to figure out ways to keep not doing it. Just my opinion.
I saw many things this weekend. Many reasons I am truly glad I don't drink. Many bad decisions and things I know are going to be regretted. But here I am sitting here on Sunday night with NO regrets and a wonderful memory of a successful Mardi Gras season yet again. This is getting to be a habit. One I love.
Thanks for the Valentines Cowboy and G man.

[treetops]

I too spent far too long trying to figure out why I drank and also why I could not quit - there was always a reason (an excuse). Or I would put it off until after I had dr's test results, after a work deadline, after a celebration, after a commiseration, after a reunion, etc. At some stage I had to decide to quit - and for good. Because I had done some long quits in the past. Once I accepted that, it was so much easier - still a truckload of work to do - and a not very easy time in the early months.
And its great LB that you can enjoy things like Mardi Gras without it being a booze-fest. Maybe for some but not for you. One thing I had to learn was to travel and attend conferences without me drinking AL. I thought it would be hard but it is actually much much easier - and I have reinvigorated enjoyment of travel. I can do so much more, and there is generally less stress. Plus I don't have to think about where I can buy AL in Muslim countries or in places where respectable ladies like myself should not venture out!! :eek-new:I think Patrice will know what I mean!

[scottish lass]

Morning all! Holiday but work started texting at 7am! Love switching alarm off - don't they realize! Amazingly I was still asleep - oh well, last day of call so shouldn't complain! It was foggy, but now I see sun creeping round the curtains so off to get cuppa in bed today - nowhere for girls to be first thing today!
See all later - have a great sober day!

[narilly]

Great posts ladies.
Mols, yes, it totally is about progress and not perfection. I love that. Your posts were really amazing.
Pav, NS,Lil B, Pat. Wow.

I don't call myself an alcoholic, what for? I know I have a problem with drinking, so I just don't drink. Who needs the label? I am an alcoholic, I have a drinking problem, I don't drink....we can say whatever we want as long as we stay sober.
I stopped trying to figure out why I can't drink and now I just have accepted the fact.

Thank you for your amazing posts everyone. I am going to enjoy this holiday Monday, I am feeling great, love being UnHung. Going for breakfast with hubby and am going to eat my fatty breakfast. We both have lost a bit of weight eating a low carb high fat diet. Type in lchf on Google and tons of info comes up.
The Aussies have a great website: edify.au.net

Pat, I am going to learn more about The Gut.mthat sounds really interesting.

Hugs,Un Hung Nar

[treetops]

Must have missed the post but what's the holiday today up North.