Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[NoSugar]

My obsession with figuring out why I had become addicted stemmed from how guilty I felt about it, given that I thought I should have been aware enough and strong enough to control it. I still have to work not to feel like I sat back and just mindlessly let it all happen. That kind of thinking is pretty non-productive, I know, so I try to focus, as LB said, on living in a way to keep not drinking. So far so goo but I'd like to be more like you, Narilly - accepting, grateful, and optimistic. Thanks for your encouraging posts! xx

TT, Today is President's day in honor of George Washington and Abraham Lincoln.

[NoSugar]

I am going to learn more about The Gut.mthat sounds really interesting.

Hey, Nar. Here is one of the more astonishing recent stories on the subject: http://www.bbc.com/news/health-31168511.

[treetops]

Thanks NS- there seem to be a lot of national holidays in the US, but maybe thats the case everywhere! Wish we had one today.
Yes, the guilt just adds to the secrecy - and we know addicts often get a bit of a thrill from that. 'Sneaking drinks' is a very interesting expression. Who the hell is the sneaking from? Can't really escape yourself!
Beautiful Tuesday morning here - summer's bounty in full force, but I have to go to a long meeting at work. I'll make sure I get a window view!

[abcowboy]

TT, in Alberta, it's called Family Day, not every province has a holiday today and those that do call the holiday by a different name. I think our cousins to the south are celebrating President's Day today? Is it a stat holiday as well? Posting from the farm as I unload from a small job I did to make a senior widow a happy camper, will post more when I get home....

[Dottie Belle]

Hello all,
Cold and snow and snow and cold...same old, same old....BOOHISS
Had a good time at the wedding. Posted our adventure last night and will copy here. Too starnge now to share.
We had such a good time at the wedding. Food was great and we danced and danced. Then it all went south.
The valet folks we left our car with had closed and no way to reach them, WHAT???? So I called 911 and talked to them about our problem They dispatched an officer to our location and i asked him if he could help us. We got into his police car, which I have never been in my life and it was all hard plastic and my shoes couldn't grip and he said that the back wasn't meant for nicely dressed folks and I laughed. He took us to the lots where the valet folks usually parked cars and sure enough there was our car. When he let us out of the car, and I didn't realize there were no handles in the back seat, I hugged him and thanked him profusely. He seem OK with the hug and as an after thought I wasn't sure it was appropriate but never the less we were on our way home. I will need to follow up with the valet folks to get our key fob back..so that was our adventure to the big city...this is why we dont to there to often...sigh...I need to wind down then go to bed so tomorrow we can enjoy the snowmagedden yet again..or maybe they will be wrong...I hope....
Then today:
I finally reached the valet company. Our neighbor will pickup our keyfob later today. The valet company did not post closing times anywhere he said that all the bars etc know but we were at a different venue so had no clue. Bride/family no clue either.
11 degrees here and snowing...if neighbor/father of the bride cant get our key fob we will pick up later in the week. Thankfully we had 2. I sent the police chief an email to thank the officer for his help.
What a mess but I hope the neighbor an get our key fob so we dont have to treck downtown yet again. This is why I dont go to town..pain in the arse...

[scottish lass]

Today is a national holiday - I believe there are 9 national holidays - Christmas usually gets Xmas eve tagged on and NY has NY eve - our work recognizes 11 days annually - then there are all the other days - Halloween, Valentines, St Patrick's day that people chose to celebrate etc.
It is strange for me recognizing political holidays as opposed to religious ones as in UK.
Hope you have a good view of outside TT, but might just be a distraction....it would make me itch to get out of the room...

[narilly]

NS, thanks for the article, if I get a transplant it will be from a skinny person!

Dottie, that sounds terrible, you must have been frozen! Poor girl.

Hey Cowboy enjoy your Family Day.

Now I am off to learn more about my gut. Thanks Pat and NS.

[NoSugar]

Yes, the guilt just adds to the secrecy - and we know addicts often get a bit of a thrill from that. 'Sneaking drinks' is a very interesting expression. Who the hell is the sneaking from? Can't really escape yourself!

By the end, any thrill I was getting was GONE. I think living dishonestly was what finally wore me down to the point that I was ready to wave the white flag of surrender and be done. And you're right - I could not escape myself anymore. There ceased to be any moments in all the repetitious, uncomfortable, anxiety-ridden days that I could be blissfully unaware that I had a serious problem. It was the main thing I thought about all day, every day.

Hope your meeting went well! It is 12F here so your summer sounds very good to me.

Dottie, That turned into a bigger adventure than it needed to be! Given that you were in the back of a police car, I bet you were glad to not have had anything to drink!

Nar, I had that thought about my preferred "donor", too :wink:! It seemed like our daughter might have C. difficile a couple years ago and they are finding that the transplant can help people for whom nothing else has worked - she was quite relieved when she finally responded to an antibiotic and didn't have to go that route!!

[Guitarista]

Hiya Gloamers,

Happy holiday. George and Abe seemed like cool dudes weren't they?

I have wondered why i'm compelled to drink to excess too. I agree, in that it doesn't matter so much unless there are underlying personal issues e.g. depression, anxiety, trauma that might need to be addressed to help stop the cycle of relapse?

Warning: Sad post alert.

But for me, i reckon i'm a little like Molly in that boozing is just in my chemical/psychological makeup and genes. I've lost a son at birth, same sons mother from an overdose 18 months later, my dad in early teens......a few things that life throws at all of us (i don't dwell on any of that stuff now), but i was an alky before these events anyway. Booze resonated with me very quickly as a youngster. I have no doubt these and other life events have contributed to my excessive drinking, but i would've been an excessive drinker either way. I also note with me that there's a little core belief i've picked up from somewhere as a kid that i'm not deserving of 'success' (as i see it) or great, lofty things. Thankfully i recognize this silly 'belief' and am getting better at overridding that false instruction!

It sure is a question that i reckon is worth exploring for ourselves. But the important thing is we take action and stop that mad merry go round A.S.A.P.

Take it easy out there. G

[NoSugar]

I agree that it is worth exploring, Mr. G., but not obsessing over, like I was doing. I'm sorry you've suffered those losses but I agree with you that they are not the direct cause of your addiction.

It seems to me that some people are born with the potential to become addicted to a range of substances or behaviors that have addictive properties. Given sufficient exposure, the addiction may develop. Other people seem to entirely lack the capacity to become addicted to anything. And even people with the potential to become addicted may be "protected" at some stages of their lives whereas at others, when they don't have the same protective activities, relationships, commitments, etc. or they suffer physical or emotional crises, they become vulnerable to the addiction developing if they are exposed to the inherently addictive substance.

Bottom line to me now, though, is that no one is at fault for having the genetically- or epigenetically- based potential to become addicted to an addictive substance. Avoiding exposure to the addictive substance is the key - ideally never exposed and so never addicted but lacking that, once the active addiction has been stopped through abstinence, never exposed again.

What drives me crazy is that this is all so obvious with drugs like meth, which has an extremely high addiction rate opposed to the relatively low 10% of people who consume alcohol. We might think the person made a huge mistake in trying meth but we don't act like getting addicted to it was a personal failing - it is pretty much the expected outcome. But with alcohol, use is encouraged and the tendency is to blame the susceptible 10 of 100 for the addictive property of the drug. Now how fair is that???

Maybe it would help if we didn't talk about 'drugs and alcohol'; alcohol is nothing more than a socially-sanctioned drug.

And Mr. G. from what I've seen around here, you're clearly destined for great things. :hug:

[patrice]

Hi all,
Dottie, both my bro's are policemen and they love it when ladies give them a hug!! I think it's really nice to show appreciation with a hug...

I also agree that after a while it's important to take action and stop questioning why we drank . I've known for a while now why Im drawn to drinking, it's a combination of many different reasons/factors but knowing why didnt really help me to stop. It comes back to the 'knowing' and the 'doing' , for me anyway.
It's good to be doing it !!
Happy holidays guys!
TT - you had your holiday on the 6th, weather sounds gorgeous!
I'm on holiday too, for the week, yay.. It's half term and Chinese New Year.. Year of the Goat. It's a big gig here, I already have a red hue in my eyes from the gaudy red and gold everywhere...it's fun though and I just love holidays especially when you can just relax and catch up on things like fermenting and making bone broth.
Have a peaceful MAE
Xx
Pat

[patrice]

Oh and the good news for us all.. It's bad luck to do any cleaning of the house in the 24 run up to CNY..So, no cleaning ! Jus keeping with the tradition!

[scottish lass]

Hey - I must celebrate CNY - had no idea, but happy to find out!!
G - that's a lot to have handled - explains some of the compassion and understanding in your posts.
Another day starting to close and another day handled....see you tomorrow....

[little beagle]

I must celebrate chinese New Year too!
I have to say that I know several people who syruggle with alcohol addiction but just don't admit it. Like all of us here. This thing is progressive and when you stand back and watch you can see it take over other peoples lives. I hate it. I am watching my own daughter begin her struggle. And I can't tell her that, not yet because she will not talk to me. That's the way she is. All I can do is show her my example.
Mr. G you do deserve big things. I know what you feel, I have struggled with that very thing my entire life.
Dottie that was way harder then it needed to be. Hope you keep safe and warm.
Tomorrow is offically Mardi Gras, aka Fat Tuesday. After that, farewell to the flesh.
Have a good one.

[narilly]

Definitely count me in for celebrating CNY. Cleaning is highly over rated. No offence Lil.

I agree with NS, G, and you are clearly destined for big things.

That is the problem with AL, for all of us. It isn't exactly a self esteem booster. All that negative self talk and loathing, really, we don't stand a chance against AL.

Have a good sleep tonight everyone. Looking forward to an UN Hung Tuesday.