Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[Pavati]

Hi, Everyone:

When I look back, I can see I was destined to be here, too. There was drinking ALL around us when we were teen agers - the era when parents would give teens wine and beer at home to be cool. I was remembering my high school years recently, and most times when I went "out" with friends, the first order of business was getting booze - whatever else we did was secondary. There are many, many kids from that time who are fine now. As far as I know, normal drinkers, etc. But there are many of us like me (maybe about 10%, right, NS?). I am grateful to see my sons go out to have fun first - they don't even drink yet (or if they do, it HAS to be less than I did as I don't ever see it). I want them to learn to have fun and confidence without the liquid.

G and LilB - I agree that you are already IN greatness. The way you conduct your lives, as evidenced by what you post here, is greatness in and of itself. One of the good parts of aging in my book is understanding that greatness comes in living the ordinary life well. I just dug up a quote someone put on Facebook that resonated with me:

Do not ask your children
to strive for extraordinary lives.
Such striving may seem admirable,
but it is the way of foolishness.
Help them instead to find the wonder
and the marvel of an ordinary life.
Show them the joy of tasting
tomatoes, apples and pears.
Show them how to cry
when pets and people die.
Show them the infinite pleasure
in the touch of a hand.
And make the ordinary come alive for them.
The extraordinary will take care of itself.”
― William Martin, The Parent's Tao Te Ching: Ancient Advice for Modern Parents

Pat - I agree with NS - you sound fabulous. Keep it up (and keep sharing what you learn with us!)

Because San Francisco has such a high Asian population, the schools have CNY off every year. I don't mind celebrating Washington and Lincoln, but I'm not sure I like celebrating all of the Presidents...

Good night everyone. I am so happy to check in here every day. Well, most days...

xo
Pav

[Pavati]

And Dot - What a story. I'm sure the policeman appreciated the hug - they probably don't get enough of those. How weird that they valet didn't make an announcement or have a backup place to at least pick up keys?!

[abcowboy]

MAE gloamers! Enjoyed my day off, kind of. I'm so busy right now and a widowed senior needed her bathtub taps replaced, so I drove the 45 miles in the snow and changed them for her. She was so appreciative that I would take time on a holiday to do something like that! It gave me a warm feeling inside.. To top it off, I didn't charge her the 1.5 hours travelling time and I gave her a senior's discount on the labour! But then, I did get to enjoy coffee and fresh homemade cinnamon buns with her when the work was done! It's small things like that, that can mean so much to someone who spends most of their time alone, I need to do more of that...

Can't believe how big and busy this thread has become! Far too many now to mention individually, but very thankful to see everyone with minimal struggles! A few days ago, the discussion was about why we drank. For me, I drank to get drunk! Any reason/excuse would do! I think the more important question is why we needed to quit, if we think more about why we quit instead of why we drank, the journey would possibly get that much easier?

Have a good one my friends, remember, we're just one drink away from hell on earth, so leave it alone eh......

[NoSugar]

Thanks for sharing that, Pav - it is so true! When our son was applying to colleges, so were the kids of several friends. It felt like things among the parents were getting kind of tense and competitive. I finally blurted out that they were all going to get into a good enough college to get a good enough education to get a good enough job and hopefully live happy lives, which is the whole point. It only dampened the tension for a little while but after that, I didn't let it get to me anymore (and guess what? All those kids went to school somewhere and are productive, seemingly happy/content 30 year olds in stable relationships - what more should parents want or expect?).

Cowboy, it is important to be involved in something "bigger than ourselves" isn't it? That idea, and the one we've been discussing about how much more important where we are going is than how we got here are 2 of the main themes of the book I'm always bringing up, Man's Search For Meaning. Frankel's approach resonates with me so much more than Freud's for a problem like ours.

Have a good day, Gloamers!

[treetops]

Morning Gloamers, hope those who had a holiday relaxed a bit. Too wicked here too rest! Chinese New Year is celebrated here in most of the bigger cities - we have quite a large Chinese population within our small national population. I like the custom to hold back on the cleaning - must always be CNY where we live!
Yes its important to look forward but I also do like to look back. I don't just mean personally but I think its important to have a sense of where we and others come from - our heritage, culture etc. Not in a fossil-like way though!
Hey Mr G you sure have had a really tough life and you deserve the sunshine. Well there must be a bucket-full of that where you live. Have a great day- you must be waking up over the Tasman but its well getting into workday madness here. Hi there to everyone else here.

[jane27]

Hi Gloamers,
I am in a huge rut as the result of this recent flood we had. I worked hard over the last year to resolve our basement issues. I had just paid professional movers to empty out my storage unit and bring all the stuff here (hubs and I got married 2 years ago- I had a house full of stuff). There is stuff everywhere and my body feels like lead. I don't know where to start. I really don't. I’m so overwhelmed. I know this will pass and I am looking forward to that. This heavy feeling sucks.

[jane27]

What drives me crazy is that this is all so obvious with drugs like meth, which has an extremely high addiction rate opposed to the relatively low 10% of people who consume alcohol. We might think the person made a huge mistake in trying meth but we don't act like getting addicted to it was a personal failing - it is pretty much the expected outcome. But with alcohol, use is encouraged and the tendency is to blame the susceptible 10 of 100 for the addictive property of the drug. Now how fair is that???

Maybe it would help if we didn't talk about 'drugs and alcohol'; alcohol is nothing more than a socially-sanctioned drug.

NS- I think about this all the time. I know darn well that I have an addictive personality. When I first heard how addictive crack and heroin were I knew that I should never go near them. Not for a second was AL in this same category. If anything, I associated drinking with being more normal and fitting in.

[NoSugar]

One way I look back all the time, TT, is through an evolutionary lens -- I think how we evolved explains so many of the problems that have developed over the last century or so when so many things outside of us changed so rapidly to become things that we had not evolved to handle very well (like cheap and unlimited quantities of ethanol vs occasionally coming across some overripe fruit !).

Hey, Jane, good to see you. I don't know if I think there is an 'addictive personality' but I do think there is a biologically based predisposition to addiction. (And maybe that is really the same thing).

Feeling overwhelmed sounds like a pretty normal reaction to what shows up in those photos! That looks like an enormous challenge. I hope your husband and his boys chip in and help you. I hope also that you didn't lose anything you truly cared about. Good luck!

[jane27]

Thanks NS. Pav had mentioned it being an excellent time to get rid of stuff, and it is. When I think of the 2 prior floods its hard to believe how much stuff we got rid of, and how much stuff we still have. I have a lot of emotions tied up in the stuff- I know its unhealthy. I'm going to pray for mental & physical strength to get rid of things a bit at a time. I don't want to be possessed by possessions. xo

[Dottie Belle]

Yep Pav I dont get it either. But the valet didnt work for the hotel which we didn't know. Hard to tell when they are all lined up on the street. I really wanted to lay into the valet guy but I was afraid I would never see my car fob again. I have the fob back and wont ever make that mistake again. Yet another reason we dont go downtown...
Dance lesson tonight then we went to Olive garden for dinner. I had a gift card so we used that. They are expensive for what u get. I am hitting the gym tomorrow then i signed up for a women's self defense class that the local police is putting on. If it snows again I wont go. And it is supposed to be sub zero this week....aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[little beagle]

Dottie you go!! Dancing and self defense. That sounds wonderful and so much fun.
Jane I am overwhelmed just looking at those pictures. I too hope you get help figuring out how to deal with it all. Big hugs to you.
Being a part of something bigger. That's something I am working on. Right now I make peoples lives easier, but lately it just hasn't been enough. I find myself restless and bored.

[treetops]

LB - time to do or find something to give back to yourself LB. What sort of things interest you? Have you thought about study? What have you always wanted to do?
I did self defense classes years ago when I lived in another country. they were wonderful in that they gave me a lot of self confidence after living in a physically and mentally abusive and violent relationship. The classes gave me a new way of thinking past the 'victim' and also being confident about my body - as well as dealing with jerks! and general personal safety. Here is NZ similar self defense classes are taught in some of the schools (middle high school).
Coincidentally way back when, I also did dance classes - sort of contemporary stuff. That was great fun. My teenage daughter is now picking up contemporary dance - she did ballet and jazz as a youngster but then went off dance. Its great to see her getting back into it - interest only but also cos she does drama - so again, its about movement and expression.

[narilly]

Some great posts here over the past day. Jane, those flood pics look terrible.

TT, I bet you could kick some butt. I think taking self defence classes are great, I have taken a couple but could use a refresher. Way to go Dancing Dottie.

Cowboy, I bet that made you feel good to help that old lady. I Love cinnamon rolls too.

I'm really tired so goodnight everyone.

[little beagle]

Good morning. Yes TT class does sound fun. Learning another language has been an interest of mine. I have taken some Spanish and learned some German on my own.
Have a good day.

[Dottie Belle]

Morning all,
LB did u see that the beagle won the dog show last night?? I love beagles...
More snow today. I am so sick of this and the cold weather...bleh
Off to the gym then grocery. Just need a few things to keep us going.
Hope they dont cancel class tonight. I guess it depends on the weather and more snow....drat...tried to take it last year and it was booked solid so I hope I can go tonight.
Stay warm...