Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[narilly]

Lil B..AND the Beagle wins!
It is going up to +9C here today which is around 40F or so. Anyway, it is freakin' awesome to have this warm weather in winter. I actually wore my Spring Coat to work. How good is that?

I feel really strong in my sobriety right now and that kind of scares me. I have to be careful not to let my guard down and let that AL voice start telling me I don't really have a problem. Part of that is staying connected with you Gloamers because it is way to easy to stop posting and that will be the beginning of the end for me. So here I am getting my sober vaccination.

Have a great day everyone. Sorry about the snow Dottie...weird that we have none and you do!

[Pavati]

Hi, all:

Jane - what a mess. That type of thing paralyzes me - it looks like such a great big task that I have trouble starting them at all. Maybe make a commitment to dealing with 10 items a day? That way you don't have to think about it as one big pile. I do remember how much time you spent trying to figure out and organize your stuff from the storage place. Thankfully, you have your new sober capacity to figure out and deal with it.

Go beagles.

Nar - I get what you're saying. Vigilance.

Ellie on the Bubble Hour talks about right before her relapse - she was head down working like her life depended on it. Participating in business and the sobriety community at the expense of her own self care. Of course she now sees it as the last stage before the drinking stage of relapse, but even in her immersion in the sober community she didn't see it coming. I am trying to stay posting here and open to you all if and when you need to call me on any BS I get up to. That's the beauty of this MWO family - I know there are people who would call me on that, and in fact I rely on you all to.

Off to spend a vacation day with a bunch of 12 year old boys. Whoo hoo.

Pav

[jane27]

Nar, I'm glad to hear that you feel strong in your position and it was good to be reminded about the importance of staying connected to you guys. Pav, I felt chilled reading what you shared about Ellie. Maybe her sobriety (the machine) built up to a speed she couldn't keep up with; and going through the motions wasn't enough to preserve & ensure a stable posture. I can see how that could happen.

[treetops]

I think its really good to signal to others (MWO and possibly supportive friends/family if they are there) when you get the 'niggles'. These are what I call the subtle little callings to have a 'nice' alcoholic drink. Its not the same as a craving. Sometimes happens to me in pleasant circumstances - like finishing a big project, or on a lovely sunny evening. As SL knows Friday evenings can be a bit of a siren call. Although its been very rare to have these this last year - AL feels like such a foreign place to me, even when I am around others who are drinking.
Niggles are just that - take them for what they are and recognize them but don't obsess. That old saying 'this too will pass'. But I think being vigilant on a daily and on-going basis is really important - that is, I remind myself at least twice a day that I do not drink. I am now at a stage where I feel OK about helping others and taking an interest in AL-related issues - as its such a huge societal problem. A few years ago, I was too raw to really think past myself about this.
Beagle - learning a language sounds great - can be lots of fun and its also good for the old brain cells. I guess where you live there might be opportunities to talk to people who speak these languages.I am language klutz - English is hard enough!!!
Happy Chinese New Year everyone - today is the big day. There will be fireworks near where I live. And lots and lots of eating. And lots of red - the lucky color!

[NoSugar]

That is a good description of what I feel, too, TT - like when everyone else is having a glass of wine before dinner at a nice restaurant and I am freezing. It crosses my mind how nice a glass would be and it takes a little thinking to realize what I really want is to be warm!

[jane27]

NS, I'm glad for the days when I equate a sip of wine with disaster. I remember what I felt like when I was at my worst. Disgusting, shameful, pathetic. Just gross. And I never want to forget.

[treetops]

Another thing NS - is that when I am with people who are having wine with their meal or pre-dinner drinks - it always takes so long to order and eat! Apart from starving and almost passing out and folding the napkins into various origami shapes - I don't get niggles then. My niggles have usually been when I am alone - after working hard. Of course I have lots of strategies now for treating myself and being nice to myself - but old memories from decades of practice die hard. As I said its not a craving at all. And I remind myself that it is not a big deal - and my home circumstances are pretty damn comfortable compared to so many souls in this world.
By the way last night I made an easy vegetable lasagna - with zucchinis, mushrooms and spinach - and low fat cheese/tomato sauce. The smiles from my family were a lovely reward (as well as eating the actual food)!

[NoSugar]

Man, all the awesome meals I cooked and then picked at (and sometimes didn't even remember!) - that's a good thing to think about if I were ever to think a drink sounded like a good idea. Your lasagna sounds good, TT.
I have wine-snob friends who have to taste 4 or 5 before ordering... Drives me quietly crazy!

[treetops]

high class ethanol!

[narilly]

Exactly TT!

[little beagle]

I'm currently reading a book "And the Dogs Were Rescued (And so Was I)." It's about beagles and a lot about the Beagle Freedom Project. Buttttt, the woman is a cancer survivor. She goes on this huge quest to eat healthy, vegan. Stop wearing leather, silk, wool. No dairy... well you get the picture. The main thing that bothers me is in this huge quest for health she still drinks. One of the most poisonous substances and not once does she even consider stopping. Not only that, but her husband sells wine and in the end they are planning on producing it. Now I am confused. So many people suffer from alcohol. She wants everyone to stop using products that aren't cruelty free and she really has terrible angst about contributing to the suffering of animals, but not once does she consider all the suffering alcohol causes.
Miss P is the number one beagle. Yay. She's beautiful and spunky. She is definately a winner.
Jane I like the idea of only dealing with a set amount of stuff each day. Seems like a reasonable goal.
Dottie hope you thaw out soon. I hate to tell you this, but we are getting our first green on the trees. And my first tulip bloomed already. It's still a bit early for that, but soon. And my onion sets are popping out.

[treetops]

LB - I can relate a bit to the person in the book. For many of my drinking years I was pretty healthy, slim, a vegetarian, really into running at one stage. Plus no sludge at exercising my brain either. But as you say "well you get the picture'. Not a picture of health in my later drinking years.

[scottish lass]

Good grief - get a days holiday (though I was on call) and everyone seems to think that we need to get the five days worked crammed into four days - two days in and I am beat!!! This is silly crazy...actual work is quiet just now, so everyone is inventing busy work - I am very comfortable being super busy with real work, but the other BS is too much!
Pav - I like what you wrote- I think we have all agreed that a relapse can been seen in the coming - I think that you are asking if anyone sees one of us heading down the rabbit hole, to call us on it - I think that I hear that maybe we don't always see it coming ourselves and can ignore what is happening. I would be very happy for someone to call me on any shenanigans that they see - I DO NOT want to relapse, and will be happy to be headed off the path. I think that we have a great team here and we can have that sort of honesty....
OK - got to catch up on some stuff before getting back on the hamster wheel.....

[scottish lass]

Oops - on full speed ahead - meant to say so sorry for what you are facing Jane - that does not look like fun in any shape.....clearing out can be great and so relieving, but that does not fit any description of that....

[jane27]

Hi Gloamers,
Thanks for all of the support. I will pull through this one darn box at a time and I will be so glad to be rid of the stuff. I was surfing the internet for articles on hoarding and I came upon one that talked about OCD manifesting itself as hoarding with the need to sort and organize. That would be me. Big time. Any one else feel like this? It must be something to do with wanting to create order, but it gets so darn overwhelming. Wishing everyone a good MAE. So appreciative for you all. The last 13 months of my life have been so rich compared with the 15 years that came before it. This thread and each one of you has been vital to me-Love to all xoxo :hug: