Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[little beagle]

Bear thank you for your post. I am glad you are here with us. I hope you are on the same mission we are on. Not drinking. No matter what.
Dotties is showing us how it's done. Easy? NO. Butvso much better then the alternative.
Dottie I have heard that dreams about our loved ones who have passed are them visiting us. And a dream about dancing does sound like your husband wants you to live happy. I kniw it's not easy. I recently had a dream about my PaPa. He told me it was time for me to take a step back and rest now. So I am doing just that. I cut back on my work and I'm learning to not get so upset about things that use to really irk me. Ahd I am feeling better. More positive.
We have a new addition to our little family. I am fostering a beagle for one of our local shelters. She is SO happy and cheerful. You just can't help smiling when you look at her. I worked really hard and got the house ready and cleaned, went through all the dog toys and just generally got ready Saturday morning and then I went and got her. I even surprised hubby with her. She loves him and he is beginning to really like her. Her last owner was really old, a man, and just unable to care for her. So she thinks hubby is the cats meow.

[Pavati]

Hi, Gloamers--

LB - that is such a sweet story. I really want a dog but we are all gone so much that I feel too guilty to bring one into a house where s/he would be alone.

Bear - hope all is ok.

Dot - I'm glad he visited you. I used to hope that my MiL (who I LOVED) would visit me in my dreams so I could see her.

I had a long talk on a walk with old friends today and eventually we got to my drinking. I just told them everything - about MWO, about my fears and shame, about gratitude. It felt good to get it all out on the table - it felt like honesty that I haven't had with them yet. I wasn't hiding, but it looks so simple on the surface. It felt great to let them know how hard I have worked, and what it has been like.

My son didn't go to the St. Patrick's Day thing - he didn't even push too hard. I think he must have been looking for me to say no - thank goodness I did.

I'm off to finish some laundry and go to sleep. Goodnight, Gloamers.

xo
Pav

[narilly]

Dottie, Im thinking of you. Hope this week is a bit better. I know it's going to take time. Thank goodness you aren't drinking.
Pav, I feel guilty when I leave my dog alone too, it is a big responsibility. Good on you to wait until you have more time for the dog.
Lil B, you dog sounds cute. Glad Mr B likes her.

Looking forward to a Un Hung Monday. Talk to you soon.

[scottish lass]

Pav - I so want a dog, I get so tempted ... It would help me to walk too, but I am promising myself one when I retire! That must feel great to come clean! Big step!!
LB - I am jealous! Will you maybe keep her?
Monday is on its way....

[treetops]

Thanks ladies for sharing all these stories. Lovely one about the wee dog, LB. Good that you 'came out' to your friends Pav - it helps to clear the air.
Bear - guess you are off to work today. Remember no matter how stressed or frazzled you feel with work, you do not drink. As LB reminded us, that is our mission.
Its night here and getting cold. I am thinking of people who have lost their homes and livelihoods, sometimes their loved ones - in the very recent tropical cyclone in the Pacific. Its so tough for them but people are very resilient and get on with getting things back on track. I used to live and work in the Islands.
You all have a positive start to your week. I made sinful pudding of the highest order tonight guaranteed to cement the family love (hot chocolate sponge pud with chocolate sauce. Cheap, easy and fattening!) There - I said it! But please don't tell NS.

[bear73]

morning everyone quick whizz in,I'm sober and all good - love to you all

[patrice]

TT - was it one of those self saucing ones?

[treetops]

TT - was it one of those self saucing ones?

Yes - straight from the Edmonds Cookbook.

[patrice]

I use that cookbook all the time.. It's just great!
I have my appetite back now so just had tuna seared in coconut oil, vege fried rice and real Korean kimchi!
Yum
Hope you are all well
Xx
Pat

[Dottie Belle]

Morning ladies,
Feeling frazzled this morning. Didn't sleep well and had dreams about hubby. I awoke to once again realize he is not there beside me. I dont know how I am going to get through this.
Fellow is coming in an hour to take some more of his train stuff. I am so horribly sad and lonely.....
So much to do that is all messed up with the cars and my folks house..he would have been right here with me working through all the rough spots. I dont understand why I always end up alone....

[jane27]

Dottie, You are doing a great job of doing what you can, when you can, while being present in the moment. I know that doesn't seem like its worth anything, but you are surviving like the kind of soldier I'd want in my foxhole. When you wrote about why do you always end up alone....there's a charge in there (a light flickering indicating need for attention?) That's a gift of sorts- something that bothers you is giving you a clue that you need to take a closer look at it. I've gotten clues like this before and pausing to reflect on them either gave me an aha! moment in that I was able to understand where the feeling was coming from. You could be caught in a cycle because of a belief that has been ingrained in you from an early age. If you can pinpoint the belief and identify the source of it, you'll have the information you need to take its power away. Compartmentalizing things is a behavior that people use to help them feel ok and in control. Everyone does it. You weren't alone for the time you had your husband, but maybe you're the kind of person that prefers to bond closely & deeply with one person, as opposed to spreading it out a little more. I'm like that, and I have been since I was a child. If my husband died, I'd be very alone too. I guess that's the casualty of investing so much in one person, but I wouldn't know how to do it any other way.

Lil B, Its a huge relief to offload things that are too much. I'm glad you were able to see which jobs those were and make the decision to step aside from them. Most of the battle is figuring out the problem. The answers can be so much more straightforward (and "fast-acting" lol).

Nar, I'm embarrassed to say I wish it was my Mom that had died, and who I was missing. It was my friends Mom.

My Mom has been calling me again. She mostly leaves messages. Even though I've explained time and time again that the voice on our voice mail is computer generated /automatic, she cant process it. Says I sound like a 'come-hither-whore' (on the out going voice mail). The insults she's using most include calling me a hooker & my husband a pedophile- ("but screw it, you've got other great qualities") and then there's the good old faithful accusation of my stealing her identity, using her credit card fraudulently. Its like every strange thing that happens to her she attributes to my being a thief. I have no idea how she came to feel so so SO sure about my thievery, prostitution, or husband's pedophelia. In the past I had written it off to paranoid personality disorder, but the other day I spent some time poking arund on the internet and I think the problem is greater.

I think she has Korsakoff syndrome.

Korsakoff syndrome is a chronic memory disorder caused by severe deficiency of thiamine (vitamin B-1).Korsakoff syndrome is most commonly caused by alcohol misuse, but certain other conditions also can cause the syndrome.
Korsakoff causes problems learning new information, inability to remember recent events and long-term memory gaps. Memory problems may be strikingly severe while other thinking and social skills are relatively unaffected. For example, individuals may seem able to carry on a coherent conversation, but moments later be unable to recall that the conversation took place or to whom they spoke. Those with Korsakoff syndrome may "confabulate," or make up, information they can't remember. They are not "lying" but may actually believe their invented explanations. Scientists don't yet understand why Korsakoff syndrome may cause confabulation.

Whatever she has, I don't feel well enough to sweat right now. As long as she's in venomous mode she can fend for herself.

Heard from Rahul- he's still sober thankfully. Anyone heard from Jvo?
Ginger, TT, Pat, NS, SL, Bear, Pav, G & everyone I mentioned above & anyone else I may have missed, wishing you all a peaceful day.Xo J

[Dottie Belle]

jane " but maybe you're the kind of person that prefers to bond closely & deeply with one person, as opposed to spreading it out a little more" Yes that is true. I am an only child and never made friends easily and spent most of my childhood alone because we didn't live where there were many kids my age. So getting close to 1 person makes it easier on me. I have a few close friends and even though I can be outgoing and friendly I still dont make friends well.
Off to the gym to sweat off some of my issues.

[narilly]

Dottie, so glad you are working out. What a great way to get the endorphins moving. Just like AL, Dottie, one day at a time. I can't imagine what you are going through. xo

Pat, tuna and the fixins, sounds yummy.

SL, as soon as this dog is gone we probably will take a break from dogs. Now that our kids are older the dog will be left alone a lot. I don't want to do that to a dog. I LOVE Dashunds though. I really want one of those little weenies.

Speaking of Daschunds, has anyone heard from Eloise? I hope El is doing ok.
Hey, I hope JVo is ok too, I haven't heard anything about her.

Glad Rahul is sober Jane and glad you are too.

Un Hung Monday here, love being Un Hung. Un Hung Nar- my Chinese Name. lol

Snowing here today, but it is only March so it is to be expected. Not too cold though so its ok.

Later Gloamers!

[scottish lass]

Hi - quick check in as I try and get Monday going, not working too well for me so far!
:hug:'s to both Jane and DB.
I have three cats - well my daughters do, and not a cat person at all!!! :sad:
We had a lovely weekend - temps in 80's, today is cloudy and not as warm - probably why I am not getting my mojo on! Not snowing though, so I should not complain right:thumbsup:
I "see" j-vo on fb...

[jane27]

Thanks Nar & SL.

Dottie, I totally relate & also share with you a love for dogs. I had a pack of 4 until recently. Dogs have provided me with the richness of unconditional love while still allowing me to feel safe & in control. You are not alone. Hugs