Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site
This talk about the word 'alcoholic' makes me think of the first WFS statement:
I have a life-threatening problem that once had me.
The folks at WFS do not like the word 'alcoholic' and so most don't use it. I don't like it either, never felt comfortable with it. This is a label no one wants. It is static in its evaluation, implies there is never positive change, and the shame covers you like slime that won't wash off. Semantically, it has a place in the English language Hall of Shame. People who aren't 'alcoholics' and want you to use this word to describe yourself come off as linguistically condescending even when they are trying so hard to be compassionate, and because language is so powerful, we know this at a subconscious level if not consciously, which is why we get so pissed when counselors and others try this jargon out on us. Slapping the word 'recovering' on the front does nothing more in my mind than try to whitewash the term, make it palatable for those who have to ingest it. Nonetheless, the connotations of both 'alcoholic' and 'recovering alcoholic' are, in general, not pleasant. People who are alcoholics and use the word to seriously describe themselves, in my mind, do each other a disservice and serve only to lower the morale of the group. Group think is strong. Now, I don't mind a little joking around about being alkies, as long as we take back the word and use it for our purposes. Kind of like the word 'girl.' Remember the days when we couldn't stand being called girls, especially by men in authority? Now, it's okay for us to be called girls under two circumstances: it has to be casual, and we women have to either instigate the use or condone it implicitly. Hence the popularity of "You go, girls!"
All this meandering gets me back to the first statement above. I have a problem. I could have easily lost my life and definitely shortened it. It once HAD me, but it DOES NOT have me now. This empowers me as a human being. It does not statically label me. It allows me to move forward without the shackles of a semantically outdated and negative word. What am I if not a 'recovering alcoholic'? I'm defining myself as a capable, confident, caring, compassionate woman who once upon a time let a life-threatening problem lead her around by the nose.
I joined WFS before I did here, but you all made me feel comfortable and like I might succeed with your help. I felt like I could always switch to the moderating boards if I drank, haha. I think if we are going to their conference, I'd better introduce myself over there! I hope I haven't offended anyone with my views about the word 'alcoholic.' I am not minimizing where we've been and what we've done. I am simply avoiding negative, emotionally laden, outdated language and calling my spade my spade: I was a heavy drinker, and I don't drink anymore. I know several confident, caring men and women who define themselves this way. I also know several 'alcoholics' and I invite all of you to contrast such people, how they view themselves and how society views them.
I drank in my dream last night. I did not get drunk, but it was not fun because all the lying behavior surfaced for me to contemplate. In my dream, as I drank, I was thinking about lying about it. I know I dreamt that to remind me of the lie I become when I drink. Not going there! I'm getting close to 70 days. xo
This talk about the word 'alcoholic' makes me think of the first WFS statement:
I have a life-threatening problem that once had me.
The folks at WFS do not like the word 'alcoholic' and so most don't use it. I don't like it either, never felt comfortable with it. This is a label no one wants. It is static in its evaluation, implies there is never positive change, and the shame covers you like slime that won't wash off. Semantically, it has a place in the English language Hall of Shame. People who aren't 'alcoholics' and want you to use this word to describe yourself come off as linguistically condescending even when they are trying so hard to be compassionate, and because language is so powerful, we know this at a subconscious level if not consciously, which is why we get so pissed when counselors and others try this jargon out on us. Slapping the word 'recovering' on the front does nothing more in my mind than try to whitewash the term, make it palatable for those who have to ingest it. Nonetheless, the connotations of both 'alcoholic' and 'recovering alcoholic' are, in general, not pleasant. People who are alcoholics and use the word to seriously describe themselves, in my mind, do each other a disservice and serve only to lower the morale of the group. Group think is strong. Now, I don't mind a little joking around about being alkies, as long as we take back the word and use it for our purposes. Kind of like the word 'girl.' Remember the days when we couldn't stand being called girls, especially by men in authority? Now, it's okay for us to be called girls under two circumstances: it has to be casual, and we women have to either instigate the use or condone it implicitly. Hence the popularity of "You go, girls!"
All this meandering gets me back to the first statement above. I have a problem. I could have easily lost my life and definitely shortened it. It once HAD me, but it DOES NOT have me now. This empowers me as a human being. It does not statically label me. It allows me to move forward without the shackles of a semantically outdated and negative word. What am I if not a 'recovering alcoholic'? I'm defining myself as a capable, confident, caring, compassionate woman who once upon a time let a life-threatening problem lead her around by the nose.
I joined WFS before I did here, but you all made me feel comfortable and like I might succeed with your help. I felt like I could always switch to the moderating boards if I drank, haha. I think if we are going to their conference, I'd better introduce myself over there! I hope I haven't offended anyone with my views about the word 'alcoholic.' I am not minimizing where we've been and what we've done. I am simply avoiding negative, emotionally laden, outdated language and calling my spade my spade: I was a heavy drinker, and I don't drink anymore. I know several confident, caring men and women who define themselves this way. I also know several 'alcoholics' and I invite all of you to contrast such people, how they view themselves and how society views them.
I drank in my dream last night. I did not get drunk, but it was not fun because all the lying behavior surfaced for me to contemplate. In my dream, as I drank, I was thinking about lying about it. I know I dreamt that to remind me of the lie I become when I drink. Not going there! I'm getting close to 70 days. xo
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