Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[jane27]

SL, Dottie, LB, loved your posts . I haven't been posting much because of feeling physically lousy. I love the honesty of our thread, and hope I push myself to post tomorrow. I'm so all or nothing, and it's such a bore ( for me as well, lol)
Group hugging y'all in spirit.
Xoxo

[treetops]

Hi there everyone. Dottie I wasn't thrown off by your post (that I have just read).I think we have to be honest and life is not a bowl of cherries all of the time - and your grief is monumental. As long as you don't mind us prattling on about little things.

One reason I have not posted is that I have just been so busy at work and dealing with a lot of other people's problems (thats a big part of my job) and then catching up on more work at night. My downtime is basic housework (which I hate except for cooking) and the times I get to spend with my daughter (which can also be tense at times), plus a late night dvd sometimes. Its an especially frantic time for me (your turn next week SL) and I am juggling many strings at work, - again though, thats part of my job. I have quite a lot of responsibility in my job and there are things that just have to be done or overseen.

I also feel bad when I don't respond to everyone's last post. But sometimes its hard to know what the last post was - and its either sending off a response like this one - when you can - or waiting for the time to read back and digest everything properly. Because I think that for websites like this work we need to respond to each other - sometimes its enough just to hear someone's story - sometimes the threads are so we check in and reaffirm our commitment o being AF (at least on this thread) but its much nicer I think to engage with one another.
I have learned something - that many of you have dogs or love dogs. Thats great. We have a cat - but I could not say I was a 'cat lover'. I am a bit of cat watcher though - he is extremely neurotic - was very timid when we collected him from the cat shelter (called the SPCA here). I also like to watch birds when I can - but I am most definitely not an official bird watcher.
So hope all is going well - Ava when are you off to Thailand? Pav - you must be off to Bali soon? Sorry you are feeling yukky Jane. Hi there also LB, Nar, NS, Pav and others I may have missed.
Like SL said - these busy busy weeks were just the times we used to drink a lot - I don't think it was just an excuse, I think it was a way of coping. Its so not healthy and its so-engrained in our Western working lifestyle. One of my daughter's teachers actually tells the students 'work hard, play hard'. Thats a recipe for burnout and bad choices I think. Fortunately she has a different take on that.

[bear73]

hey everyone,I had long old day yesterday,14 hours so came home and flopped!
Dottie,you're not scaring anyone off,and I think it's good you post,I worried that I'd be prattling on about inane stuff and seem really irrelevant and selfish.It's good to talk,I remember when my friend died I wanted to be able to talk about it,but also talk about/listen to others talk about day to day stuff,even if I didn't take part as it felt a bit more day to day.
I'm off to work again now - restless nights sleep senior managers came to a meeting I'm very involved with,because I fret and overly criticise myself all I thought about all night was the (implied) negatives. Not slept well,had to make notes of things drifting round my head.Had been feeling so relaxed/happy too on prozac,but I am due my period,also have eaten lots of sugar,not exercised recently and am getting a cold.So off to work again in 30 mins,I will have a good day and plan to focus on challenges rather than problems.I plan to go to the gym tonight after work too.Hope you all have a good day - love to everyone.
TT I agree it's much better to interact,I just always end up zooming,yet others make more effort than me so I need to get better at this as I get so much from everyone's posts.
Happy and peaceful Thursday.

[Dottie Belle]

Morning all,
Please prattle away I need some normalcy in my life and hearing about life moving on is good for me.
I miss him terrible and this is my worst nightmare come to life but I must go on and survive this. He would have wanted this for me.
Counselor today will be of help too. Gym later too. I am doing the best I can not knowing what the future holds.
Need you all to keep talking and talking it is good for us ALL!

[scottish lass]

Dottie - look what you achieved, lots of good chatting.
TT - we picked up two cats from a shelter about 10 yrs ago - they are twin sisters - one is completely neurotic and zooms around the house hiding from all but my eldest girl, her twin is big fat and lazy and just sits wherever she can!! I love watching birds, and have hummingbird feeders - they hummingbird s are MY pets, and other bird feeders = i am not a bird watcher either, but love hearing them and seeing them in my garden.
Sorry the team lost Pav!
Hi Jane!
Bear - I also can struggle to write something I consider meaningful, or to recognize individuals - and chose to take that pressure off myself and just pop in what I want - some days minimal, other days like today where i am putting off a task I have to get done, it can be more...
on that note - go to go do it!!

[narilly]

Hi everyone, Dottie, YOU are not running anyone outta here! Don't worry about it.
We are here to share all our stuff. This is a support group

Hey, I am just jumping in to say hello. I went to a function last night and there was wine there, I had a little niggling about it but I don't drink SO I just had soda water with lime which was delish.

I gotta go so have a great Sober day everyone!

Hi Jane, SL, Dottie, Pav, TT, Bear NS, El and everyone else!

[patrice]

Hi all,
I'm getting ready for work, last day of the week yay, it's been long and hot, seriously girls it's so so hot even the locals are complaining... I dragged my weary carcass home yesterday and couldn't move off the couch. Started watching Fargo, the series, son on his iPad watching wrestling ( wtf?) I do remember hulk hogan as a kid, as well as a rugby ball, my brothers also used me for wrestling practice when we were growing up! Makes me chuckle that my little one is watching the same stuff!
Dottie, I'm really glad you are posting, I'm thinking of you
Xx have a great Mae all
Pat

[treetops]

Hi there just a quick pop in during lunch. I bet it is hot Pat. I tried to watch the series Fargo but didn't like it. Have just finished The Bridge (the American/Mexico FX series) and although it was gory, it was gripping. Tonight I think I will catch up on the UK series called The Missing. Really tired already as I had less sleep than usual.
Nar - good on you for reminding yourself that you don't drink at the function. Most of the functions I go to never have plain soda water, let alone a lemon slice as an AF choice. The options are usually orange juice or tap water. Since I don't like orange juice much, especially in the evening - I get water if I am truly lucky. I have tried to explain to some folk organizing these things that just because one doesn't drink wine or beer - it doesn't have to mean that sticky sweet juice is the only option. This usually evokes a response of disbelief - and it never changes.
So plain tap water (not even chilled) is my social drink of choice here - even at fancy events!
Now that is trivia - catch you all later!!!

[NoSugar]

Hi, TT

I just just returned from an event where this was the club soda:I must admit, it was kind of nice to have something that looked a little fancy :smile:.

(that is actually a small single-serving bottle)

[Dottie Belle]

Went to the grief counselor today. She thinks I am trying to go around the grief and not working through it, need to talk more about that. I had several crying jags in the car today.
When I was sitting in the waiting room at the hospital during his surgery I was playing a word search game and the words "widow" and "stroke" came up...shortly after they told me he had coded .....I cant help but wonder if he was trying to tell me something??? Maybe I am just crazy i dont know but it might make more sense since he was having trouble remembering things and how to use things in the car and where we were going. Was he having little TIA's and I didnt notice??? I will never know but it is kind of creepy.
I went to the gym and walked on the treddie and did the weights with the group..I am tired too. I am going to try sleeping without the Benedryl tonight and see how it goes...I can always get up and take one.
The boy dogs decided to get in a fight....sure wish hubbs was here to help me....so much I am missing and needing.

[Guitarista]

Yo y'all,

Hi Dottie. I'm just a fella who strums a guitar, but re what your counsellor was saying, it sounds to me like you are working through your grief, just from reading your posts here. But i think grief is experienced by folks differently, and it's a personal thing. With a couple of losses i've experienced in the past, one i was fairly numb and detached, and it didn't really hit me for awhile. Another hit me (after a few days of disbelief) fairly much straight away and i cried, reflected, and just allowed it to engross me really and the emotions flowed, which is just how things unfolded. No major point here, just waffling. Take care and great to see you staying connected through this tough time.

In other news, i'm enjoying day 4 of revisiting simple 5-10 minute morning meditation sessions. No right or wrong way, if my mind wanders, this is good, as this is the training. Then i just catch myself and return my focus to my breathing. If i can focus on breathing for say, 3 seconds without distraction, i'm happy. Next week i might go for 4 seconds.

Take it easy out there Gloamers. G

[scottish lass]

Howdy G - good to see you!
Dottie - you are doing well, you are facing reality even though it stinks, you are not sticking your head in the ground - cry, it is good for you...I am wising you restful sleep dear lady
NS - that looks like nice fizzy water!! TT - warm tap water is yuck, and I am with you - good (fresh squeezed OJ) for breakfast is lovely, but not in the evening....
Mad dash to try and get some assignments in for a teacher who is making things hard for my girl - she has also taken to swearing at my daughter in front of all the class about the way she is dressed!! This is my daughter who is struggling - she is an individual and expresses herself, but way within dress code.....

[little beagle]

Long day for me. Doggie operation today. She's ok.
Jane a phantom flushing toilet. That's weird.
Dottie sorry your boy dogs had a fight. I'm always afraid of getting bit when t H at happens.
I am glad tomorrow is friday. Finally.
Good to see you G. I think I'm going to try a bit of meditation myself.
I thought of Robert Frost's poem all day today. As the trees are really getting into turning green and the first flush of spring is passing off and temperatures are heating up.
Nature's first green is gold
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf,
So Eden sank to grief.
Nothing gold can stay.

I'm going to hold onto the gold of my quit.

[Pavati]

Hi, Gloamers:

I don't have much to say. I have so much going on at work, that I feel like I am sort of jazzed up on cortisol (is that the fight or flight hormone?) all day long - jumpy and always reacting. When I get home, I feel SO drained - like I can barely keep my eyes open. That might have to do with the fact that I am home late these days, too. Actually, TT, my work right now sounds exactly like yours. But I do feel like I have a hormone hangover right now. That is the feeling that booze took away so well and so quickly - my thoughts are wandering to alcohol a bit more these days. I try to let them float by, G, and re-focus on my breathing...

Jane - sorry you still don't feel well. Grrrr is right. As for the flushing toilet - possessed?

LB - Hope pup is ok. Thanks for the poem. Holding on to this quit like gold, too.

I am off on a three day weekend holiday. Will most likely not have much opportunity to post. I'll be reading, though.

Happy weekend, Gloamers.

Pav

[treetops]

Have a good and well deserved break Pav!