Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[narilly]

Love the coin Jane and Ava, I second that!

Have a great sleep tonight everyone, tomorrow is another glorious sober day.

[little beagle]

Pat I like the idea of random acts of kindness.
Ava I've missed you. I was wondering about you. How have you been?
Dottie glad you had someone stay with you. One month really is a short amount of time for such a huge pain. :hug:

[Dottie Belle]

Morning ladies,
Made it through the one month mark. I am still hollow and empty but surviving. My friend spent the night and the pizza was good. We talked about things, she is a widow too, and how none of this makes any sense and cried some.
New grief group tonight. I want to heal ...

[NoSugar]

Hi, Gloamers

I've still got that stress stomach ache but no thoughts of relieving it with wine. In fact, I'm more grateful than ever that I've gotten that part of my life straightened out!

Jane you've been doing some reflecting lately - and having interesting thoughts! Your post in the NN was great! I like what you wrote to TT above but I doubt she's struggling with drinking (unless I missed something). She's our most experienced AF Gloamer posting!

Dottie, your feelings about what you're going through now reminded me of mine when I quit drinking. I just wanted to be well/normal right away. Unfortunately, that's not the way it works. I hope you can let your new life unfold much in the same way we've all had to let our sobriety develop - one day at a time, without unnecessary expectations or judgments.

NS

[narilly]

Jane,
That was a great post. I like the way you talk about the stages of being sober. It is quite amazing how easy it is to stay sober after about 6 months although it is still a struggle sometimes.
I am so happy to be sober, my mind works so much better without AL.

NS, glad you are not drinking to relieve your stress! The added stress of drinking is awful isn't it?

Dottie, hanging out with your friend having Pizza sounds good. I bet it is good to talk to someone who is going through the same sort of thing. Hope you find solace in your group therapy tonight.

xo

[NoSugar]

My mistake, Jane.

[jane27]

TT, sorry that in reading your post I didn't catch that you've been sober for a long period of time.. With regard to not enjoying things, do you remember the last time you did, or when things started to change? I am asking because I'm wondering if you could be experiencing a clinical depression? Depression is something I've had to contend with for all of my life. There has been an occasion or 2 when my meds stopped working as well as they used to, and my doctor had to make a change. Just a thought. I'm not sure, but I think it may have been you , NS that saved my bacon last spring by pointing out that my posts sounded like I could be depressed. I made an aptpt with my doctor shortly after that. She increased my Prozac by 10 msgs and it made all the difference in the world.. I guess that my mood had been slipping for some time, but it happened so gradually that I didn't recognize it as being clinical depression.

[Dottie Belle]

Grief group was good. The leader is a counselor and has a topic for each week. I like that rather than a free for all and lots of crying. This one is 6 weeks so I will continue. The one tomorrow night is new so we shall see what I think of it.

[treetops]

quick pop in to clarify things. I am not struggling with drinking and I have been sober for around two and a half years. I never white knuckled it, but it was hard the first few months. It was also not my first AF stint.
I also do not have depression. I have had serious depression in the past and know the difference between that and feeling down . I certainly do enjoy things from time to time but there are times when I (like many folk) feel flat. Maybe it's just tiredness and work. I have a lot of responsibility in my job but there are very few accolades. I would be lying if I said I do not occasionally miss the relief and instant buzz AL gave, especially at the end of the week. And I really do not enjoy some of the social occasions I used to take part in. These were not reckless boozy affairs either but it's just different now that I am sober.

I have taken medication for depression in the past but I no longer do. I absolutely do not feel the need for medication or any over the counter supplements at the moment.

Many thanks dear people for your concern. I am trundling along this week with work and a rather nice new haircut. I will check back when I can and see how everyone else is.

[Pavati]

Hi,

I am back but currently fighting with son #2 about homework, so I can't stay and read back much.

I see the year celebration for Peppersnow! Congratulations. So proud of you, and so happy you're here with us. I didn't read back to see if you made a speech. I will later.

Jane - Your colorful post looks intriguing - I'll check back.

Dot - One month is a big milestone. I imagine the grief process is one day at a time, too, with memories of milestones.

I missed you gloamers. I am going to repost what I wrote in the nest about being gone:

I checked in this morning because I had a drinking dream last night. I had a glass of wine (not my usual drink of choice) without even thinking about it, and then someone poured me another. I poured some of it into my friends' glasses and then realized that I really shouldn't be drinking. The thing that scared me the most about the dream was my apparent lack of concern about it all. That was my first drinking dream where it seemed OK to drink. That scared me much more than the drinking dreams in which I was terrified. I am taking it as a sign that I left my group for too long! I was away and very busy in situations with A LOT of drinking, and staying where we had no wifi, so I didn't read or post here. I will remember that dream and make sure I take time when possible to check in.

OK - I'm off to bed. Happy to be back among my peeps.

xo
Pav

[narilly]

TT, a new haircut? Yay! I love getting my haircut,. I bet you are just stylin'

Glad your back Pav 'with your peeps'.
Drinking dreams scare me too, they almost make me feel guilty. I haven't had one in awhile.

I am tire so sleep time for me.
Goodnight sweet Gloamers

[treetops]

Hi there Nar - yes new cut (well not really a major change of style) and some color to add a bit of zing. Pav - good insight into the drinking dream. Maybe there was a bit of anxiety under all of that. Anyway you did really well especially as you were with people who were drinking.
Maybe next time you go away and are not near wifi - you could write some thoughts down. Even if its just for yourself, it might be an outlet - and you could always post some of it later. Some people have a sober buddy who they can text when they are travelling - for times like this. This assumes of course that you have cellphone coverage - and thats not the case everywhere either.
Hope the homework hassle is working out.
Dot - you sound like you are getting some good support.
Ava and Pat - are you away soon on your holidays? (I can't scowl back as I might loose this post).
How's things LB? Jane?
Bear - hope the week is going well. Were you sick recently?
Its homework haven in my house too - daughter doing a major history assignment (there will be tears - hers not mine - this time next week I am certain, she tends to bite off more than she can get through before the deadline), me doing prep for work tomorrow but my dear partner is lying on the sofa watching TV.

Hey we finally have Netflix here - but its a watered down version.

[patrice]

Hi all.
I'm just so super tired today, so I'm just going with that
I need a haircut too !
Xx
Pat

[bear73]

hey everyone - ooh new hair TT, exciting,having been growing mine for a while now I now have thoughts of a choppy bob,which I usually get very frustrated with so am going to hold fire for now!New hair always gives me a lift.

I know what you mean re difference between 'flat' and depression.I feel flat atm, combo of man flu since saturday,lots of work,issues to tackle,house being a mess/no exercise/not great food due to feeling ill.I dreamt that I was skating last night, think I and my body are missing it!

Feels like everything is whizzing round my head again,time to breathe,may start 5 minute meditations again as I can't exercise to get endorphins going - I need to try another way.Plan to work in PJs today,shower later and pumping tyres up and buying a nice ready made salad for lunch.
Happy to be sober and paying attention to my thinking in case it steers me towards booze again.

Best pop off and eat brekki and get ready for my day.

[Dottie Belle]

Morning ladies,
I slept a little better but still having dreams that I cant remember but know they were unsettling.
I have so much to do around here and just dont want to so it will sit until am ready. I go through the motions...
Gym later and then another grief group. It is close to home so that is good.
I wake every morning with the knowledge that I am all alone in this and it makes me so sad to have lost my best friend.