Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[narilly]

Hi everyone, Dottie. I can imagine how painful that is. When my husband left for a short time (mid life crisis) it was so hard waking up alone. I missed him so much and it was very difficult. Big hug from me.

TT, you just got Netflix? Wow. I have been watching a Downton Abbey sort of show called Mr Selfridge. I really like it. It is not a thriller or anything but fun to watch, it makes me forget about how nuts my job is.

Hello Pat! I bet its super hot there.

Bear, yes, take care of those thoughts. They can really get you if your not careful- you know that.

Talk soon,

[scottish lass]

Flying by in a silly busy work week - 2 out of 3 receptions done, no sparkling water NS am not drinking the wine either, or missing it - but finding it really hard to put my smile on and greet strangers - wine did help me to do that.
I am tired today - will be more so by the time Friday gets here - but glad I am not drinking....no hesitation, it is the truth...
Haven't really read back, did a skim and seems all are doing ok....

[NoSugar]

I feel your pain, SL. I don't really enjoy big social events and wine did make them a bit more tolerable. I don't like small talk about unimportant (uninteresting?) topics but that's the name of the game. I'm glad you've only got 1 more to do. I have several in the next week or so and I'm trying to psyche up. I'm not worried about drinking - I just don't want to be bored or unpleasant.

[Pavati]

Hi, Gloamers -

TT - I totally understand that flatness - I get it, too. I do think there are things that used to be more fun when I was drinking, but not many. Hardly any at all, really. I leave parties earlier than I used to, and I miss a cold beer at a baseball game. There are some local neighborhood drink-fest parties that I don't like, and sometimes that small talk drives me crazy, too.

Actually, I listened to a Bubble Hour today, and Ellie was talking about being a shape shifter when she was drinking- making small talk and pretending to be totally fascinated by everyone just to make sure people liked her. Now she says, this is me! Take it or leave it! I believe that is what being sober has done for me, too. There are some things that aren't as much fun, but they weren't my favorite places and things anyway. I feel much more honest about who I am and what makes me happy now, and that is a GOOD thing.

SL - I feel your work pain. I decided today that I'd like to work with animals - I am so sick of trying to work with difficult adults! I am sick of trying to solve problems and not piss everyone off - I just want to go "Wag the Dog" on everyone and stand on a soap box and tell the TRUTH! It would get me fired, of course, but I'd feel good for a minute.

Nar - How did hubby's job interview go?

Daisy - that sounds like a good group for you to be in. What are the topics? One day at a time, sweet Dot. You got this.

LB - Hope you're ok. Patrice - get some sleep! Everyone else - good night.

xo
Pav

[little beagle]

SL I know about putting a smile on. It's part of my job. Noone wants a frowning, unhappy housekeeper. I often smile through pain and frustration. Thinking no I really can't sit down a visit, I'm here to work,and you would probably be upset if I actually did take that nap you are suggesting. Jane glad posting that great, colorful post cheered you up. Made me feel good just reading it.
TT fresh haircuts make me feel great. My daughter's friend was my stylist. They recently had a bad falling out, so I guess I'm just growing it out for awhile.
Dottie I'm glad you are going to get through this. I like that positive determination. And having a friend who's been through the same thing must help.
Ava I am thinking of you.

[Dottie Belle]

New grief group was good. Different but good..I will go back so now I have 2 and that is enough for now.
I need to find some things to do for ME.....pedi comes to mind. I just have to keep moving forward, letting myself cry when i need to. Worst thing and my worst nightmare but what choice do I have....

[treetops]

LB - well I would like a housekeeper, don't care if they glare at me - just need to do a good job. I have had part-time people clean in the past and most were good. But we found that it actually caused too much stress in the house as we had to pre-tidy - so decided to do the work ourselves. Everytime I have hired someone they move on (as they usually are students). First world problems!
Dot - yes, do something for yourself - that would be a good idea. You will need to treat yourself from time to time, just wee things - but it all helps.
Not much here to write about - lots of work to do tonight - until my eyes pop out like saucers! I hope not! Taking daughter to the dr tomorrow for a general check over as she has a few on-going health issues. Nothing serious. I am having a shingles vaccine - now isn't that exciting??
Enjoy the rest of your day or night and do what Gloamers do best - staying away from the booze.

[bear73]

hey TT didnt even know there was a shingles vaccine,maybe not here in UK, or just not common knowledge. I'm seriously looking into a cleaner - but from an agency as I don't know anyone who has a recommendation at the moment.Had them before - been a mix of amazing and totally pants!
Dottie - self care is the way to go - I need to re-book my pedi - cancelled due to lurgy - makes me feel so much happier Glad you have found 2 grief groups,I think it's really important.

Take care everyone - whizzing into work via shower and piece of toast and marmite.

[Dottie Belle]

Raining like crazy here. Gloomy and depressing. I hate being sad all the time. I hate being alone too but what choice do I have. I hope the volunteer thing gives me some outlet and folks to talk to. I seem to cry for no reason lately. I will definitely ask counselor about what she meant about going around the grief. I am not sure how much more I could experience this awfulness if I tried.
Fellow from train club coming by shortly and roofer later to pick up check for work on my folks house. I will be glad when all these loose ends are tied up. So much all at once and none of which are under my control.....ugh..

[Dottie Belle]

Grief counselor called to reschedule She is sick and I dont need any of that. So I see her on Monday.
Oh well I can wait until then.
Jane no i have not been doing that but it is a great idea. And would give me something to do in the evening when being alone is the worst.

[narilly]

Good idea about the Journal Jane. I have tried writing in a journal and have done so when I am going through really bad stuff. I should write in it when things are going good too.
Dottie, I hope it helps you. Every bit helps right?

Sober Thursday here and its going to be a warm day +18C! Which is Almost 70F for you Americans. Love it when it starts to warm up. I went out last night with a bunch of school friends and had no trouble staying away from the wine. Those damn glasses of wine look pretty seductive though. I have to make sure they Never suck me in!

Talk to you later.

[treetops]

Dottie - I agree that a journal is a good idea. Also try to write down when things go well -and try to observe something most days that is outside yourself. It could be watching some birds splashing in a puddle, the way the vegetation is changing with the seasons, what someone has done to their house - that sort of thing. Just an idea.
Also try to plan something each day over the weekend - such as that pedi. I don't know what sort of town/city you live in or nearby so I can't make suggestions. Many places have public events/performances/talks - and that might be something to consider. You never know who you might strike up an informal conversation with - or its just a way to do something different - even if it looks boring. Something like that is not a big commitment either.
OK - me, I am into Friday already!

[Eloise]

Hey guys... I haven't seen any posts from J-vo lately?? Wondering how she is getting along?

Things are fine w/me just lots of extra baggage drama. Because I am no longer drinking I understand that it is not my drama. Interesting.
Thank god those questioning days are over.
I must admit today I thought "I would love to get drunk."
Then i thought about how stupid it would be.
How it would last for too long and be way too hard to quit.
The thoughts came 2x today, but didn't' last long. I was really surprised the idea came up a second time to be honest.

[jane27]

Hi Eloise,
I get those too & I shake them off. One of the biggest pay offs of being actively engaged on MWO on a regular basis is that its helped me build the sobriety muscle I need to be able to blow off the random urge to get drunk. If I wasn't tuned in sharply to my mission, a fleeting thought about getting drunk might not be so fleeting. Its uncomfortable having the thoughts, but my hope is that the frequency will lessen over time. Nice to see you

[NoSugar]

I had that experience today, too. I'm in an upscale hotel by myself for several days. When I went to a 7-11 to buy some food, I found what was essentially a liquor store in the back half! I was tired and hungry when I caught sight of those little 4-packs of wine and I found myself remembering past years and thought, well, maybe... Like you, Jane, I'm grateful that my participation here helped me march straight to the check-out counter with my nuts and cheese and get the heck out of there!