Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[little beagle]

Turning those drinking thoughts aside and enjoying that sweet victory of feeling great. Shutting that voice down with how greatvit really feels to be sober. VICTORY!!:sohappy:

[Pavati]

Must be in the air - l looked longingly at a mint julep on Facebook tonight. A 15 hour work day, two very difficult conversations - good thing I have worked that sober muscle for times like these.

I'm off to bed. Sorry about your counselor, Dot. Monday is soon.

Hi, El, good to see you stop by.

xo
Pav

[treetops]

Well done Gloamers on listening to those AL signals and turning away. I think its extra hard when traveling and working very long hours, dealing with stressful people stuff, as NS and Pav point out. Good on you Eloise and Jane for reminding yourselves of the realities of getting drunk - and the "after-party" you would have to face. And its saying things to ourselves like "we are not missing out" by not drinking - there are so many new and extra benefits we can enjoy. But as I pointed out last week - there are times when we might feel different to others, or feeling blah or flat - because that instant fix-it-all is not there. And normal life has its ups and downs.
Its Friday night here and I am good. Nothing special planned but thats fine with me. Sending positive and happy vibes your way!

[Eloise]

Thanks Jane.
Oh, and for some reason I am having trouble posting again. But, you are right I better put MWO back in my routine, these days I have to squeeze in time for PP.
It is early morning and I am finally on my own and I am GOING to make it a good day.

[Eloise]

I had that experience today, too. I'm in an upscale hotel by myself for several days. When I went to a 7-11 to buy some food, I found what was essentially a liquor store in the back half! I was tired and hungry when I caught sight of those little 4-packs of wine and I found myself remembering past years and thought, well, maybe... Like you, Jane, I'm grateful that my participation here helped me march straight to the check-out counter with my nuts and cheese and get the heck out of there!

omg they sure do not make it easy!! Liquor in the 711? Yikes.

[Eloise]

as an aside I do have the idea that maybe around the 1 year mark one could get cloudy about all this ?
I think I better start getting proactive again. Not being around has not been intentional at all, but I guess this might be how things start to go south? I have the week-end to myself and I think I need it.

[Dottie Belle]

Awful nights sleep. Weird dreams and just not settled at all. Being alone is so hard for me right now. I cry most mornings.
Off to see lawyer and Costco. I have things that must be done so I will just keep moving forward as best as I can.
The weekends are the hardest for me so far. I am trying to find things to do but going alone to events is not my thing. I have checked out some meetup groups but here again showing up alone is a little scary but maybe I will venture out someday. I cant stay here alone forever...

[NoSugar]

El, even after a relatively long time AF, I think you need to make maintaining all you've gained a priority. If that means setting some boundaries with your husband, I sure would encourage you to do it, even if he doesn't like it. He is an adult after all and the point of a marriage is for each of you to make the other one better than you are alone. It sounds like right now, you're not getting the rewards of the relationship and you could be putting at risk all you've achieved. And, frankly, if you were to start drinking again, you wouldn't be in much of a position to help him with his current struggles anyway. It might feel selfish but like was discussed recently, it is really self-care, and that is good for you and everyone in your life.

Hi, Dottie. I'm sorry you slept poorly - that always makes hard things seem worse. I know I probably sound to you like a broken record but I really feel like you are trying to rush through grief and want to just feel "normal" again. I'm not sure that works. Maybe that is what your counselor meant when she suggested you were going around rather than through the process. I'm in no position to give you advice about what to do but hope that you'll be kind to yourself and not have expectations that you'll feel a certain way at a specific time - and especially after what is really a very short period.

I awoke in the middle of the night totally nauseous with a headache. Boy was I glad it was because of an overly hot room and some less than great salmon for dinner, not because I'd decided to drink! I thought about how I would have been feeling if I had the disappointment, guilt, remorse, embarrassment, self-disgust, and just about every other negative emotion possible on top of my stomach ache and was really, really glad that I no longer drink. Like you, LB, even with stomach and head aches I was

enjoying that sweet victory of feeling great.

:smile:

Have a good one, Gloamers! NS

[scottish lass]

Well - what a week - I was exhausted by the end of the evening last night and a 180 mile drive home. There was wine leftover and everyone was taking a bottle home, on OMG it was so tempting! But drove home I did and no wine came with me.
This morning I am totally beat - on call thru to Monday and then a regulatory audit for that week....
I will read back thoroughly later - glad to see all, and all ignoring the temptress!
I do have cleaning help - she comes bi weekly and really helps with floor, bathrooms and kitchen to keep under control - it is some help that is a treat for me! LB - I work hard to be out when she is here, so she does not have to make small talk, can put her music on and work to her speed and we don't have to keep out of each others way!
Well done for getting shingles shot TT - I got shingles last year and it was not a bad case, but no fun for sure! Bear, they do have in UK, but a very strict age range when you are able to get - my mother is considered too old!!!
OK - off to catch up on some actual work, and will be back later - TGIF ladies...

[Eloise]

El, even after a relatively long time AF, I think you need to make maintaining all you've gained a priority. If that means setting some boundaries with your husband, I sure would encourage you to do it, even if he doesn't like it. He is an adult after all and the point of a marriage is for each of you to make the other one better than you are alone. It sounds like right now, you're not getting the rewards of the relationship and you could be putting at risk all you've achieved. And, frankly, if you were to start drinking again, you wouldn't be in much of a position to help him with his current struggles anyway. It might feel selfish but like was discussed recently, it is really self-care, and that is good for you and everyone in your life.

My goodness NS some seriously spot-on words or wisdom there.
And to be honest I really do not feel like I have insight just now.
Gosh. And going out for dinner w/a friend and her children. We had coffee today and they were serving sparkling white wine left and right and it looked good.

Just a little comment. I have come a long way, made so much progress...
Have to keep my eyes looking straight ahead. I am better off not drinking, no mystery there.
I guess what you are saying in focus on me, because there is not much I can do anyhow.
Will check in when I get home.

[Dottie Belle]

NS I am a type A so fixing things is what I need to do to feel normal so I will try to control what I can. I dont know what the process is for grieving but everyone seems to do it in their own way. I cried in Walmart this afternoon because we went there together...cried in Costco for the same reason....I do what I can to keep my life going and not much more.
Going to fish fry with friends tonight. Don't want to sit here alone on a Friday night. Doing what I can to cope....

[treetops]

Dots -what is a fish fry?

[Dottie Belle]

Tree it is lent and lost of the Catholic church's have fish fries because during lent Catholics dont eat meat on Friday. Local tradition thingy....lots to choose from. This one has baked fish which is good since I dont eat fried foods.
Hope that clears it up.

[Eloise]

Hey Dottie- hang in there . It actually seems like you are doing your very best and that is all that you can do.
And, you know sometimes it is okay to feel just plain sad. It is a sad time for you.

I am home safe and sound. I did have those wine thoughts twice again today though.
I was not tempted to order anything tonight though. When the waiter said do you want something to drink i pipped right in with "Yeah, a green tea please!"

[scottish lass]

Well, not managed to read back - business continues....
both girls off to friends pools - a glorious 85 here and sun out - Friday evening, and I am bone tired, so yes the thought crept in that I 'deserve' a Friday treat - sun, peace and quiet, Friday, me myself and I - typical....so checking in to remind myself that I do not wish to confess tomorrow - and nor do I wish to ruin my Saturday walk...