Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[STEADFAST]

I still get those niggly, random thoughts of having a drink. What stops me from going through with it is the knowledge that it wouldn't be "just one or two drinks" - before I knew it I'd be back down where I was, in the depths of desperation and misery. One drink would lead to another, and another, etc. It's so not worth it. And the prospect of being back where I was truly terrifies me! Nothing to gain (from having a drink), and everything to lose. Just thinking about all the good things that have happened in my life since quitting will keep me sober.
Steady

[STEADFAST]

Hi Ava! I was just trying to find you! Hope you're well. Melbourne's put on some pretty good weather for Easter! x o

[available]

Hi Steady, i am around but normally in the nest. Im great, 2 weeks till thailand, so different to my apprehension last year. its been beautiful here atm, not overly looking forward to the winter months and getting up in the dark and getting home and its dark. So glad to see you checking in!. xx

[Dottie Belle]

I have had so many thoughts about drinking to avoid the pain I have and the grief. But I know if I go down that road I will not be able to come back and I have no buffer if I screw up. Hubbs would always be there to put me to bed or take the dogs out an now that is all on me so the responsibilities help keep me sober too. But I will say that all this has really made me want to go there on more than one day lately..

[scottish lass]

Hi all - routine all mucked up as girls off school. One is off to a sleep over, the other with a spring cold. Weather is goofy too - cold (for Ca) and cloudy...so feeling upside down! I am a creature of habit, not the best when things are strange...

I am happy with my daughters new friend, she lives with her grandmother - I dropped her off for the sleepover, and got invited in - used to happen when girls were small, but now they are teens that is not normal - it was comforting to get to look round, but I still don't like not having them with me - I am spoilt! It is good to be able to have the other for some 1:1 time, so precious - would be nicer if she wasn't snotty nosed! Hopefully I don't get the bug - it would be just my luck to have it when at the coast - off to get my Vit C

So, no thoughts of drinking but am very aware that when my routine is mucked up that I get mucked up so hanging a little close...
Hope everyone else is having a grand day...

[little beagle]

Hi Steady. Great t o see you here with us. And Ava. I too miss your wonderful waffles.
Dottie there is certainly more to be lost then gained from drinking. I'm so glad you are with us on this.
Narilly those stupid thoughts will always be with us. Well I know they'll always be with me. But you h ave the right idea. Stampmthem out immediately and don't give them room to grow. And I always remember the reasons I don't drink plus the bonuses I get from not drinking. And then it's not even a decision. It's just "I don't drink. Shut up stupid voice. Stab in the eye. There. Go off to the corner and lick yoir wounds. Now you can't see to focus on that stupid poisonous substance in a glass." Well I do have many strange conversations with myself.
We had a dinner party Sunday. It's really the first one in, like, forever. And I truly enjoyed it. The sober me enjoys more and more these days.
Enjoy t H at trip to the beach SL. I'm still trying to get there. But I decided I was going to go this month.

[narilly]

Hi Steady, good to hear from you. I miss your long and short posts Ava. I so remember your trip to Thailand last year. We were so happy it turned out so well.

SL, nothing like a sick kid eh? Glad you are enjoying your girls. I sure miss my kids. They will both be home in about a month.
LilB, you are right, those thoughts will always be there. I like the way you stab the thoughts in the eye, that made me laugh.

I am sharing an office at work these days so I can't post from work. Everyone can see my computer. What a pain!

Have a great sober Monday everyone.

Dottie, you are sounding good. Big hug from me.

[jane27]

Hi Gloamers,
Got a case of the blues +PMS. I'm frustrated with feeling exhausted and achey. I feel emotional, weird & detached/disassociated because I've been laid up so much. I psyche myself up to do little projects like vacum up the walls (they ripped off paneling today and 45 years worth of dust and mouse crap was revealed). I feel like a loser for being so incapable right now, and like a loser squared for letting it bum me out when I have so much to be grateful for. I'm also having trouble articulating my thoughts. More than once I've let my mind drift off to thoughts of getting wasted. It was my rocket fuel in the past when I'd go through a sick spell. I know I cant do it, and I don't want to do it, but a sliver of me misses the comfort of that old friend. It feels similar to having a broken heart. I know that this is probably just because I feel so cornered in feeling sick. Something feels out of place, and when I get that feeling I worry that something bad is going to happen. I'm supposed to tag along on a business trip with hubs this weekend. Just the thought of it makes me tired. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Lil, Im glad you had a nice dinner party. Dottie, I'm glad you realize how grave a mistake it would be to drink. You're going through so many firsts. It must feel really strange, and Im glad you have MWO as a constant source of support and frame of reference. I hope your pups are giving you love & comfort.

Love to all

[Pavati]

Night, Loamers.

Jane - sorry you feel so yucky. Most certainly booze wouldn't help, and I know you won't drink.

Since many of us are roughly the same age, I'll share this article on Middle Age:

The Real Roots of a Midlife Crisis.

Don't want to scare any younguns away, though!

I'm heading to bed - a lot of sports here tonight - opening day for baseball, and the NCAA championship. My ears get tired from listening to sports for too long - it all seems so loud.

Good night,
Pav

[bear73]

hey everyone,quick post before off to coast to enjoy last day of time off work.I've got sore body from body pump yesterday,but in a good way.Have also set up fitbit.
Had I could have a drink thoughts too recently - stamping on them straight away and not letting it grow really helps me - to use someone else's words.
Hope you're all good - must dash

[Dottie Belle]

I go to see the financial guy today. It seems I have to re invest hubbs IRA or pay taxes on it so one more thing to do. Still dont have the paperwork on the RV from probate. What a major pain. RV season will be over before I get the thing in my name. We thought it was OK the way it was titled but oh noooooo, So I wait and wait.....
Raining and gloomy which doesn't help my mood at all but I did sleep a little better last night.
Grief group tonight and that is a good group of folks. But I think maybe I am proceeding a little farther but that is me. I know hubbs would not want me to give up or give in to a life of nothing but sitting here watching TV....I cant imagine that either. I am trying new things and trying to get out. NOT how I saw my life at all but what choice do I have???

[jane27]

Morning Gloamers,
Dumpster being delivered this morning. Can I just say that I LOVE dumpsters? In prepping to put down the Pergo floors in the family room they found 2 layers of laminate floor circa The Wonder Years. glued down within an inch of their lives. They are using hair dryers to get it up. Also behind the panel walls they found air ducts connected to nothing at all. I guess they became disconnected so we are going to try and figure that out from the upstairs vent looking down. The contractor quoted me 600$ to remove the marble wall all together, so we are going to go for it. Hoping and praying its not holding up the house, but it wouldn't surprise me if it was. Stay posted on that one. I relished vacuuming the dust bunnies and crap off the walls last night. There's nothing like a good ol Electrolux cannister vac. I found a baseball card from 1968 in the walls. I love when that happens. When we first moved in and did work we found 2 old cans (beer & ginger ale), in the basement walls I found a thimble. I guess its a tradition for the builders to leave behind a little memento when they are closing up the walls. Sort of like a time capsule. I always think about how cool it would be to find a time capsule, or buried treasure.

Wishing everyone a great day. Faking it until I make it. Gaining about a pound a day which I think is due to the thyroid disease autoimmune flare up I have diagnosed myself with. lol My endocrinologist is on vacation again and cant see me for 2 weeks. The next available appointment with a new doctor is in June. Time to re-look at Paleo diet (thank you NS)

ps What do you guys think of the idea of a swap thread? (I have a..... I need a.....)

[jane27]

Dottie,
Lockheed Martin stock just keeps going up and up. My very small/experimental portoflio on etrade has grown between 28-30% in 1 year. Let me know if you want more info.

[Dottie Belle]

jane I have never done any trading on my own. How does it work?? And my mother had an Electrolux vac, I wonder where i is????

[jane27]

Dottie, I hadn't either. About a year ago a friend of mine told me about how her husband plays around with it. They are both retired from Lockheed. She mentioned that Lockheed stock just kept going up and up. All I did was register on Etrade and deposit money in the account electronically. It takes a few days to clear and then you are good to go. The mobile app is actually better than the desk top one (if you have an apple device). Its been fun! PS the etrade site walks you through how to deposit money from your bank account.