Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[Dottie Belle]

Having such a sad and lonely day. I cant sit here all day alone like this. I look at our picture and cry. How did this happen?? He was healthy and we had so much to look forward to and now I am alone and he is gone forever. I have so many happy memories but it is all in the past now.
I want so badly to just drink my sorrow away. This is just the worst time of my life....

[treetops]

Dottie - please hang on in there. Treasure those happy memories because they are there forever. You won't ever know the answers to the 'why' questions and that really hurts. You are grieving the love of your life. Drinking might be a temporary mask but the grief will remain. And drinking will make it all much much worse. You have been so strong and determined by not touching AL. Your hubby would be so proud of that but the way forward in staying sober is to do this for you.

Bear and Pav - I hope the work insanity has now been left at the door and you can enjoy the weekend.

I cried a lot last night but I was able to talk to my partner. He is sad and confused too about our daughter learning to leave the nest soon. He was very kind to me. She had a sleepover last night so I dug out things from the freezer that she wouldn't eat. Then I did some work and then I watched 'Wolf Hall' - when it gets to the US or Canada (its very recent BBC) you Gloamers should give it a go. Its a really different kind of historical series with great acting and sets. Not an action movie but lot of action going on in the historical era of the Tudors.

We just have to keep trundling along in our own ways, support one another, not cut off support from those we live with or know if its there (even if its not exactly a traditional love story as it is with my partner. ) and guess what - today is a sunny warm day here. Its Saturday morning already. I am trying to not get too down and I hope all of you other lovelies are good too

XXX

[Lizann]

TT, I know it's hard! Our daughter got married last year and left the nest. We had her for 27 years, minus a few months abroad in London. It was an adjustment for sure but I feel like we have just redined our relationship. It's a process and I still have two home here with me so maybe they buffered the blow. You still have time, it hurts but you will be alright! How funny, she just stopped by, I'll check with you guys later!

[NoSugar]

TT, I started worrying about our oldest child leaving home for college when he was about 13! I've always tended to be a worrier, even when I am aware of how pointless it is, too often sacrificing the joys of the present to my fears of the future. And of course more times than not, so many of those fears are unfounded.

Each of our kids did grow up and move on - it all was as it should be and much less painful than I'd anticipated.

Lav has recommended this book often:
http://www.mindwell.be/ebooks/thepowerofnow.pdf.
I've found many of his ideas helpful in dealing with my resistance to change as well as pointless regrets about the past. I actively work at staying in the present because as he says throughout the book, "now" is all there ever really is.

I hope you're feeling better today. I usually do after a good, heartfelt cry. xx, NS

[Lizann]

NS, i would agree with you. To too worried about my kids leaving way early on and truthfully it was less painful than anticipated. Granted I still have two in the nest. A great deal of my anxiety is will I loss my "worth" after they are gone. I thought I would feel like I was being put out to pasture. I will look into that book Lav suggested. Now is truly all there ever is, something to ponder today.

[narilly]

Morning gals,
I had some drinking dreams last night and was SO upset that I drank after turning 50. It was terrible!

I woke up Un Hung today and ready to roll. Had a big breakfast with hubby and we are going to clean a rental property we bought. It should be a good day.

I know exactly what you gals are talking about. My daughter is in University and my son went to Thailand and it is so weird! I don't know what to do with myself. I have been watching way more TV than usual and my house actually stays clean which is a bonus. I really miss them, it is sure hard to get used to. I am going to have to find a hobby I think but I am so tired after work I don't want to do anything.

Anyway, gotta go. Hello Liz, NS, Lil B, Pav, Dottie, TT, SL, Have a great day!

[treetops]

Hi there Gloamers and thanks for the support over my sadness (I don't feel anxiety about this) about my girl leaving home maybe next year. You are a wonderful group of ladies and its so good to be able to share these feelings. Its a raw emotional feeling for me, so I feel I am living in the present in a way - to negate these feelings would be sweeping them under the carpet. What I don't want to do though - is make myself a Lady MacBeth (wrong choice of character!) and obsess. Or ruin the time I do have with her over this.
I am not too worried about rattling around in the house or being bored, as my work and writing are very full and there are new projects with this that I have in the wings. So I want to make sure that I stay healthy and my brain works as best it can! But like you say Narilly, its things to do in the down-time when we are too tired to do much. Instead of watching TV - have you thought about reading (off-screen) - I bet we all used to do far more of this in the past.
Those damned drinking dreams! Not the best way to be reminded of what not to do.
Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend as best they can. Its a funny old day weather-wise (can't decide what its doing) here this Sunday morning - I have to drive my daughter to a drama practice and then if the weather is being kind, I will try to get a decent walk in.

[little beagle]

Happy unhung weekend Narilly.
TT I think periods of transition are always scary. There's a wonderful post in the toolbox on that. I read it from time to time when my life seems about to change and I'm unsure of how to feel.
I just read through the toolbox looking for that post. Page 25, post #250.

[abcowboy]

Morning gloamers! I know I don't post here as often as I used to, I think all you fantastic ladies need a thread like this to talk about "lady stuff" without fear of embarrassing the gents lol. Of course I stop in every day and read all the posts and thank you all for helping me just by your posts! But today is a special day, a member of the gloamers celebrates her 1 year sobriety birthday today. She was one of the first, of many, members who made me feel at home here on MWO, she invited me to the gloamer's thread, and her posts always inspire me! I always had a hard time finding the right words to say when someone offered me a drink, but she solved that for me, now when offered, I only have to say "no thanks, I don't drink" Thank you my friend from the bottom of my heart, enjoy your special day!

narilly, you are what MWO is all about, Happy Birthday on your 1 year of sobriety!

[Pavati]

Hi, Gloamers!

NARILLY! So proud of you, my friend. You ARE what MWO is all about - you keep us positive and upbeat, celebrating our un-hung days. You are also real, and use MWO for your sober plan - posting about things like drinking thoughts and dreams. You welcomed me, too, and I am so happy to be on this thread and in this sober life with you. I hope you have a fabulous, fun, funny un-hung day.

Cowboy - no need to stay away - at least not for me. I don't worry about any man reading this. We love your presence. Anyone is welcome here...

TT - My kids are pretty young still but we have more nights here alone than ever. I miss them even if it is for one night!

I have a lot of house chores today - good thing I got a long hike on the coast in yesterday. Coffee and quiet for now, on this great and un-hung Sunday.

Off to get on with my day...

Pav

[roxane]

big respect to you narilly.

[roxane]

oops, a bit big but i wont apologise for that.

[narilly]

Awww Cowboy, what a nice post to wake up to. Thank you Pav, you have helped me so much. Cowboy, I stole that aying 'I dont drink' from Pav!
Thank you Roxane. You all help to keep me sober. All your stories and experiences have helped me so much.
It's been a year, holy smokes! This is the longest I have gone without booze since I was 13. Thank Goodness I finally clued in and am doing it now.
I am UN Hung today and am having bacon and eggs for breakfast plus a nice cup of coffee.
I bought some shoes to celebrate my one year...ok, two pairs of shoes And a dress. Today I may have a cinnamon roll to celebrate too. Yum!

Continous improvement for me this sober first year. I had no hangovers, excelled in my job, fought about 90% less with my husband, and I was aware, lived my life in colour instead of grey. It was freakin awesome!
Year Two here I come! Let's do this together Gloamers!
Xo

[Dottie Belle]

No church today. Just not ready yet. I am going to try the train club meeting for a short time. Give my report then leave. I wont go to them every month but will attend a few and particularly when it get close to the flea market next year. I need to make a decision on whether to continue with that or not. I have time to think about it and in the mean time I will have everything lined up so whoever takes over wont have much to do. I have to give that some serious thought.
Go to the tax lady tomorrow and then the gym. The days are pretty full but the nights are not so I have to figure that out too.
Sun is out and supposed to be warmer

[available]

Nar, Nar Nar what can i say but that is fantastic. A whole fucking year sober. Woo hoo and buy 3 pairs or shoes, turn into Imelda Marcos and buy 365 pairs, one for each sober day. There is no looking back now, as you said everything is so much better. We are really living the dream being sober, life is not a daily nightmare.

So proud of you lovely lady, keep up the great work, you are a treasure on MWO.

Sending hugs and lots of love on your special day.

xxxx