Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[jane27]

Good morning Gloamers,
Supposed to be 73'f (22.7 c) here today so I plan to do some weeding & planting. I bought 4 hibiscus plants. They'll flower every day now thru October. Thinking of planting them in their containers then bringing them inside for the winter. I want to learns more about propagating so I have build on my small Lilly collection. We have Azaleas and Andromeda in the front of our house that our 4 years old and just don't seem to like where they are. I did find some baby grubs when I was planting a border of pink stock the other day. Bought some Grub Control but some one told me to wait until May. Googled grubs and learned that grub worms = beetle larvae. Why those guys gotta do so much damage? Yesterday was a roller coaster- felt happy in the morning, then weepy by lunch. Me thinks me might have a classic case of PMS. Gonna post pictures for you guys later. My mother duck went out for a stroll the other day. Peering through branches I counted between 10-12 eggs. She is such a good Mama. Sits on those eggs alllllll day long. Wishing everyone a happy day. Miss you Ava!

Breakfast for my Gloamers!

[narilly]

Good Morning everyone. Just checking in to say Hi. I listened to The Bubble Hour yesterday when I walked home and it was SO interesting. They were talking about a movie called Lipstick and Liquor.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3cdYg9ME_4
If this link doesn't work just Google it.
I am sure it is an awesome movie. It sounded Really interesting, I bet we can relate to a lot of the stuff in there.

Jane, that looks yummy. I bet those ducks are cute.

Hi everyone, TT, Pav, Lil B.

My daughter is coming home today from University, I am really excited to see her. Oh man, I miss that kid...and my son too. He will be home on Sunday. Yay!!

xo

[jane27]

Nar,
Someone else on another thread mentioned Lipstick too. Have to look into that. How nice that your daughter is coming home, and your son too. I'll bet they miss you right back. Home always looked so clean to me whenever I came back after being a away a few month as a kid.
I've been binging on the Mindy Show. Love her to pieces!

[NoSugar]

Well, at least you still get PMS, Jane. I'm a dried up old prune . Dottie, you're sounding like you're getting some balance in your life and maybe even a little peace. I hope so. Nar, having both kids home will be so nice - I love knowing they are safe and sound.

I posted this in the NN in response to a post about how things just keep improving the longer we're AF, as Pav has often mentioned. I believe it happens but that it take some effort and that the effort is so worth it. In some ways, we can end up with more meaningful lives than we would have had without an addiction. I know the experience has contributed greatly to my being more tolerant and less judgmental than I was before all of this happened. Anyway, here's the post:

I definitely struggled (and still do) with the "Ok, now everything should be better, right?" thinking. It's really helped when folks like you remind me that it's a process and it took time for you, too.

LavBlu, It still is taking time and I hope I continue to change and grow. One of the gifts of escaping an addiction is that in the process, you really have to examine your life.

In our world, very few people take the time to do that. They are way too busy working, striving, attaining --- they are humandoings, not human beings, as I read recently. I was like that -very goal oriented and focused on achievement. I knew I was missing something and dabbled in spirituality, introspection, mindfulness, etc. but didn't take it very seriously or stick with it. Wine as easier - it gave me a big time out from all of that hollow doing but it wasn't until I stopped drinking that I finally started learning to just 'be'.

It's kind of funny to me when I see and read about the things all you guys are accomplishing now - eating better, getting fitter, working harder. Really, I applaud all of that and am very happy for you but I actually do less of all that now. I was very fit when I was drinking and I was doing creative projects non-stop in what I now see was an effort to mask and compensate for what drinking was doing to me -- I was trying to convince myself than it wasn't hurting me because look at all the things I still could do and do well! I was often being told I looked good and that my projects and work were great. I used all of this to convince myself and those around me that I was fine. Most of them believed it but deep down, I knew the truth, as we all do.

Don't worry, I haven't turned into a candy-eating couch potato who never cooks or creates. I still eat well, exercise, cook, and make things but now I do it because I want to. I focus on and enjoy the process without so much concern for the product, and am pretty unconcerned about what others think (other than those who have to eat what I make :smile. For me, this is a much better way to be.

[roxane]

i am over a year af now, well 3 days but they all count, and i find myself less able to just be. that is definitely something i have to work on. i find myself unable to sit in the sun without seeing weeds or pruning something (i have big loppers). sit in the house without tidying things. sit and watch tv without thinking about or even doing some painting (walls and skirts and doors). a positive at least is that i am actually doing rather than fidgeting or walking up and down. but i really wish i could relax.

i do think i need to start thinking about what im going to do with the life i have gained. absolutely no idea.

im a dried up old prune too.

[NoSugar]

Hey, Rox

This guy seems all new-agey and weird at first but I have gotten so much out of his books and this movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KNefVPDbsQ.

xx

[roxane]

saved to favourites. i dont mind new agey and weird or stuffed shirt, so long as what they say connects.

[peppersnow]

Good Morning everyone. Just checking in to say Hi. I listened to The Bubble Hour yesterday when I walked home and it was SO interesting. They were talking about a movie called Lipstick and Liquor.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3cdYg9ME_4
If this link doesn't work just Google it.
I am sure it is an awesome movie. It sounded Really interesting, I bet we can relate to a lot of the stuff in there.

Hey Nar, I listened to that same show last week and was super excited to watch the movie, then when I realized I couldn't get it on Netflix I was so disappointed. I just found a link for downloading via Amazon or Itunes, and am going to rent it through them tonight, I think, if I can. http://lipstickandliquor.com/buy-the-movie/

Enjoy your time with your daughter -- I have one who's coming home in a few weeks, too, but I need to clean my house this weekend so she's happy she came back :happy2:

NS, great post about Human "doings" versus "beings". I was floating in warm ocean water this weekend with the sun on my face, being rocked by the waves, and had as close to a spiritual experience as I've had since I quit drinking. That was my version of "being" and it was so incredibly powerful. I want to figure out how to get more of that, without requiring an ocean, as that's not happening again for at least another year.

Does anyone have any good meditation links? I've looked around for pod-casts, youtube videos, etc., and can't find anything that keeps my attention or doesn't make me crack up laughing. Obviously I'm not the meditation type but I so really WANT to be! In my imagination, I would be an awesome meditator and go to that peaceful happy place whenever I need it. If anyone knows a good starting point for getting there, I'd appreciate any advice.

Loved the breakfast, pics, Jane! Made my crave pineapple.

[Dottie Belle]

Hi ladies.
Went for my fitness evaluation today. I have lost 17 pounds since January but I am sure most of that has been since dh died. I had no appetite or desire to eat. Not the way I would recommend dieting. I could tell because I had to move to a smaller belt to hold my jeans up. I will take it but would rather be eating out with him.
Off to my class tonight. I think the class is too long, 3 hours, but it is interesting. Fills the empty night so that is good and i am learning some things.
Stripped the bed and put the new sheets and comforter on today. I need to make some small changes for me.
Going to buy some new workout clothes too when my coupon is good at Kohls. Not used to shopping without him but i will get to spend more.....

[NoSugar]

Hi, Pepper. I like the Glenn Harrold or Darren Marks meditation apps. Both of them are British and I love their voices. I always fall asleep, though, so I don't know if I'm getting all the benefits :wink:.

Dottie, enjoy your new slimmer workout clothes. That sounds like a fun shopping trip!

[little beagle]

Rox I have noticed that I too have gotten in the habit of staying busy to keep my mind occupied. This week my hubby was working out of town and I was lazy. It felt wonderful. He's suppose to be on this job for about 2 months or so. Gone during the week, home on weekends. He's in New Orleans and seems to be enjoyijg it.
Dottie enjoy that shopping trip and your class.
Narilly your house will seem very full again.
NS that was a great post. Lots to think about.
Jane we had huge storms here on Monday. The whole city went dark as night at 10 in the morning and lots of people lost electricity, some until today. And my poor garden is mostly gone. But I can replant. Some people lost houses and cars. So I think I'm lucky.
Jane I'm sorry you lost a friend to this monster. I really wish more doctors would treat this as an illness. That society would view it as such instead of as a moral choice.
Roxy congratulations on a year. Big achievement.

[Pavati]

Hi, Gloamers--

I envy you gardeners - I WANT to be a gardener. Well, maybe I want to want to be a gardener. Well, maybe I want to eat good, fresh veggies. But I can't seem to get it together to garden. After the kiddos are gone...

I had a real, honest, lazy day over spring break. Slept in. Ate cereal. Read my book. Out to "brunch" at 12:30 with my kids. Read my book. Took a nap. Read my book. Out to dinner with my family. Read my book. Went to sleep. I talked myself out of feeling guilty about it all, and just basked in the laze. It was fabulous. I think you're right, NS, I wouldn't have done that when I was drinking as I wouldn't have wanted everyone to suspect I was hungover...

I had some powerful drinking thoughts yesterday - out of the blue. FFS, that makes me mad. They were just thoughts, but they kept coming and coming. Gggrrrr. It really took me by surprise. I feel much better today, although I ate like a horse... Maybe that helped.

I'm off to bed. Still nose to the grindstone here. Grateful to have a job I really like, even if I have to go through these crazy periods from time to time...

Good night, Gloamers!

Pav

[peppersnow]

Hi GLOAMERs.....

Pav, my daughter and I want to be gardeners, too, but so far haven't earned that title. We started plants from seed last spring with a grow-light in the basement, then went on vacation and forgot to turn the light off. We succeeded in killing them all. On Earth Day this year, she was bummed out and I suggested we try again. We have some little seedlings started, but I'm not confident they will actually make it to the pots this year. But in our imaginations, we're gardeners!

LB, hope your husband is doing well in NO. That's my favorite city in the United States, though I haven't been there sober yet. I hope to try, though. One winter during spring break, when the temps were literally -30 below zero without windchill, we piled our kids into the car and made a pact to drive until we reached warmer weather. We're in northern MN, so were thinking maybe Kansas City. Except it was still below zero there, so we just kept driving until we hit New Orleans and had a wonderful time there!

I have a few sobriety apps on my phone, and one sends me random messages about sobriety. Just wanted to share this one today because it works for me where I'm at right now in my life outlook: "Religion is for those who don't want to go to hell; spirituality is for those who have already been there."

It came from a reflection about the importance of spirituality in remaining sober long-term, versus signing up for a particular religion, as part of encouraging people who don't subscribe to a particular religion to not be scared away by 12 step groups. I have a friend who's trying to get me to attend a 12 step group to see what it's like, but I'll admit that the religion issue does scare me away. Maybe I need to get over that. Do any of you have experience with 12 step groups?

[narilly]

"Religion is for those who don't want to go to hell; spirituality is for those who have already been there."

Pepper, that is a great quote. I have attended AA before and I just think when they talk about a higher power I can make that whatever it means to me. It doesn't have to be about God or whatever. Sometimes I have found it a bit uncomfortable but at least I wasn't drinking!

Roxane, when I read you have "Big Lopers" I thought you were talking about your Boobs! lol! It made me laugh. I was wondering why your big lopers made you feel like pruning something...

Pav, your days sounds perfect. All that reading, so nice.

Hi Lil B! Dottie, enjoy your better fitting clothes. That is nice to lose a bit of weight although the circumstances suck.

Hey NS, thanks for the movie link. You are a wealth of information!

Well, I am taking tomorrow off. I am spending some time with my daughter, she is awesome. I just sent $700 to my son in Thailand, he will be in Japan on Friday and then home on Sunday. I can't wait! Sure miss that kid.
Have a great Day everyone!

Speaking of Big Lopers, has anyone heard from Giraffe lately?

[little beagle]

Doing a quickie check in today. But I'm here!