Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[narilly]

Checking in to say Hi!
Ava, glad your mom is ok. Hey, and what is this? You have been hanging out with a MAN? I was not aware of this! Lol, I am glad you are happy Miss Ava. Tell us more about him. I want to know!

Un hung this glorious Monday. It is going to be nice out today. I bought hanging planters on the weekend which I have to bring in at night if it is going to get below 0. Love my flowers.
Jane, your picture looked beautiful- the one of your lilies.

Pepper, TT, you gals sound good. NS, Pav, everyone, Hello!
Dottie, you are sounding good.

I will check in later and write a better post.
xo

[jane27]

NS, Your Zinia's are beautiful! Thanks for posting the pic. I am a beginner gardener and don't know much about them...going to look into them. Years ago when I planted my first Azalea, I learned the hard way that you cant just plant anything anywhere you want. I spent a small fortune (for me) on Azalea shrubs in 2005. At the nursery, they told me to gently break up (massage?) the roots to let some air in, before putting them into the ground. Armed with an infinite supply of cheap wine drunk from plastic glasses, I hacked away at each root ball with a rake before putting them in the ground. I cringe when I think about it. Very humbling experience. I planted pink stock in front which also cost a small fortune. I get into trouble with those flats- they really add up. Anyway, I have no regrets. They are really holding up, and they smell incredible!



PS Cross post, thanks Nar! Was just thinking of you last night. Nice to hear your voice. xo

[NoSugar]

Can't claim those flowers, Jane - wish I could. That is a photo of Mexican sunflowers. I'm hoping the birds don't eat the seeds I planted!

[little beagle]

Ginger you contribute more then you know. I'm happy you are here with us.
Dottie to me pictures can remind me so sharply ogf the time and place, the emotions I was feeling. Just instantly take me back. Big hugs.
Hot air balloons are huge in Albuquerque. The international balloon festival is held there every October. And it has long been a dream of mind to go up in one. Butvas someone once said. What goes up, must come down. It's not the going upmthat is difficult, it's bringing the thing down safely. But I would still LOVE to tempt fate.

[jane27]

Tempt fate? What choo talkin about LilB?

I had a bad day today. Spent 6 hours with my MIL and she got bitchy midway. I'm seeing her a little more frequently than Id like too, and she's pouting that I'm not doing more for her. This makes me retreat. A huge piece of being successful in my quit was learning to be honest with myself about what I could and couldn't do for her. I played the part in years gone by via glugging down vodka. Not any more. We are who we are. I still feel badly about the day- angry, pissed even a little violent emotionally. I don't like being played- I don' like the silent routine, sulking when she doesnt get what she wants, the martyr speeches. Inside my own head, I go, Screw This.

Anyway, tomorrows another day. I think I need a few hours alone.

LOve to all

[jane27]

Good Morning Gloamers,
Today is going to be happy day! I have lots to do but am planning to bring lunch to my hubs at the office (toasted bialy's with butter and bacon). I had it last week from my favorite bagel place and my oh my, it was soooooooooooooooooooooooo good. The plumbing saga continues. We received 3 new flappers which the plumber kindly showed me how to install instead of paying him 250$ a pop each. I hope I don't booger it. Also have to pick out throw pillows for the new furniture we bought. We went with 2 navy sofas, 1 chair, and 3 ottomans. Company is called Flexsteel. Seems like good quality. Hope so.

Duckina is nearing the egg hatching zone. She leaves the nest at dinner time every day. I read that sometimes they have to travel over a mile on foot to get food and water before returning to the nest. When the baby ducklings hatch, they have to make the journey too. Apparently they like potatoes and carrots, so I'm going to out a plate out this morning along with a big bowl of water. We've come to know each other- me and Duckina. I believe she trusts me, but I still will keep plenty of distance. The family room is almost done. the new furniture comes in 8 weeks and we need to pick out blinds for the sliding glass doors. We are all very happy with the results, especially the Pergo floors. Man does that stuff look real.

Wishing everyone a lovely cinco de Mayo! SL, miss you!

This is a picture of Sun Valley Idaho. Spent a few summers there when I was a kid. Really want to go back.

[NoSugar]

Jane, you are one busy lady! Hope today turned out to be the happy day you thought it would be.

Ginger, you've clearly been on a mission for the last year so even if you don't post here too much, you're a LOAMER :smile:. The best thing is, the second year AF is even better than the first!

Ava, have fun with your gentleman caller this evening! Hope your mom doesn't tell too many "When Ava was little..." stories!

Today I was struck again how glad I am that my world no longer revolves around what I'm going to do sometime between 4 and 5 o'clock! The few hours before are no longer full of dread and discomfort and those after with regret and disgust. It is so great to have it be a total nonissue (other than being grateful for its meaningless status!).

Hope you're all doing well. xx, NS

[available]

Hi loamers

LB i will let you know what the hot air balloon ride is like when i go with Robert, i am petrified but its on his bucket list and i know once i am up there it will be wonderous and a memory i will treasure of our time together.

Jane i am with you with mothers or MILs. Mine is a lot better today and i had some ME time which was much needed. I am trying to pull every "grateful" i have out of me but its so damn hard.

Oh Nar lol, i had to smile with your questions. He is 49 and i met him when i was drinking so he knows both sides of me. he likes this me better and did say in the beginning that he would control my drinking for me so i thought, well that is that then, but he has changed his tune and is very supportive. After 7 years of being single it is nice but i am not in a hurry, i have a lot of trust issues but damn the sex is brilliant ha ha.

NS i have my fingers crossed for when the man comes over to meet mum. i sure hope she behaves is all i will say. i am sure she will tell him about my horrible ex husband and ex boyfriend etc etc. i will just walk away or busy myself so my tongue stays quiet. he has been warned.

Well off to do some housework.

Stay safe everyone. Hope you are feeling better Pav.

xx

[little beagle]

I second that NS.
Jane the new furniture sounds fabulous. Sorry your MIL is so frustrating. I understand. Duckina. I love it.
I'm enjoying the time to myself as hubby is out of town again this week.
X-post Ava. I look forward to that hot air balloon story.

[jane27]

Ava, 100% on target regarding the energy source behind my power digging lol! My God my finger tips feel like sore stumps. (I alternate between the claw, hand rake, and my thrice gloved hands. (2 sets of clear plastic food handling followed by 1 set of rose pruners). Last year I only did a single set of plastic gloves under the rose pruners and could NOT get the dirt out from under my below-finger-tip nails. I felt like a 8 year old boy. Thanks to all from the support re MIL. She continues to be a heavy weight. If she could see what I was thinking....she'd be horrified. ('Die please') More tomorrow. Wishing everyone a good MAE. Ava, is this the fellow we discussed months back? New Zealander I think it was? What's that line from the army..."smoke em while you got em!" lol xoxox

[available]

Oh my mum miraculously recovered today and has gone shopping as i got the car back from the mechanics. yesterday she didnt know if she would be well enough to fly home next week and look at her now. A miracle has occurred in our household.

Yes the man was working in NZ for months and is now back. he travels a lot for work. Oh i will be smoking him ha ha.

You will have the best garden in the world, just think of that. the MIL is motivating you no end!

[treetops]

I'll refrain from any comments about mothers and MILs as my partner and I have no parents on either side - haven't had them for some time. Sometimes i think it would have been nice for my daughter to have had a grandparent.
Ava - not sure if your Guy is a Kiwi - or if its just the impact of working over here - but clearly we are very sexy and attractive people.:congratulatory: You are a very fortunate woman!

[jane27]

Ava's in da house!!!!! :lipstick:
The muscles between my ribs hurt indi friggin vidually but I am happy with the weeding and mulching I got done yesterday. Today have to go and see throw pillows fabric samples the store has put together to try and help me select for the couches coming in 2 months. Rest of the day will be spent on paperwork. No digging. I need a break! Wishng everyone a bewdie!

PS Random question for y'all, do any of you ever feel worried that now that life has gotten good, the end is near? I dont want to bum anyone out. I just wanted to share an issue I've been having from time to time. I feel so happy and grateful- and I worry sometimes that I dont deserve it, that it cant last, and that something is going to take it away.

[peppersnow]

PS Random question for y'all, do any of you ever feel worried that now that life has gotten good, the end is near? I dont want to bum anyone out. I just wanted to share an issue I've been having from time to time. I feel so happy and grateful- and I worry sometimes that I dont deserve it, that it cant last, and that something is going to take it away.

Jane, I get that way and felt it last night, actually. Yesterday was my b-day and had a spectacular day. Last May 5 was my first sober b-day, only about 7 weeks after I had quit, and I remember it being very NOT fun and not okay and stressful because I didn't know how to celebrate a b-day sober. I was also not very stable at the time and remember sobbing my eyes out at some point that day over some minor thing or other. I was still very much grieving the loss of booze but trying to pretend it was all okay. Hadn't told my husband I'd quit yet and worried he would come home with a bottle of wine, etc.

Fast-forward to yesterday: the comparison between my life today and my life a year ago had me giddy with glee all friggin' day, and I think at least a dozen people noticed and commented about it. I literally had to control my urge to explode into song like I was Julie Andrews on the mountaintop singing about the hills being alive and all. But by early evening I was suddenly hit with this feeling of dread, and my adrenaline high turned into an adrenaline-fueled anxiety that this happy-train isn't going to last forever and at some point the s*** will hit the fan and something terrible is going to happen. The logical part of my brain knows that at some point, of course something terrible will happen because that's how life works, and it's a waste of energy to worry about things we can't control. But it took me about an hour to work myself out of that feeling that the other shoe is about to drop, probably any minute now, because things are just too good.

Ava, so glad your mom is feeling so much better! And brilliant sex? Wow, that's a bonus for sure! You deserve all the happiness in the world and I'm go glad for you!

On the topic of moms and MIL's, I did have a similar experience with a domineering, busy-body, judgemental martyr MIL, up until about 7 years ago when she became ill with stomach cancer. Although she could be mean to me, she was/is absolutely the best grandmother in the world to my kids. When she became ill, her attitude suddenly changed toward me, I think because she needed me more, and also because I think she just re-evaluated how she was treating me. For the past few years, we've had a very close relationship, and I know she's super proud that I stopped drinking because we have so much alcoholism around us in our families. She was definitely someone I drank at. She's dying now and in hospice, with just a few weeks left. But she's 91 and at peace with this, and ready to go. I'm grateful that we have these past few years where turned things around and I'll always treasure our new relationship. But it definitely takes 2 people to turn any relationship around, and I empathize with women who want that with their moms or MIL's, but the other person isn't ready yet. I keep telling myself I'm going to remember these lessons when my kids have partners, but the reality is they will probably think I'm a bitch. Because that's kharma.

Took the day off because my oldest is coming home from college. She never cleaned her room after coming home last year and it's a disaster - l can't even see the floor, her bed, or get her closet door open. During the holiday break she said she'd clean it but never did, and I can't stand it anymore. Going to get boxes, and pile everything into them and stuff them into a corner in her room and clean it. If she wants to go through them later, fine. If chooses not to, I'm throwing them all out at the end of the summer. I can't wait to have her home again, but am steeling myself for her wrath as well for messing with her things...I hope I'm still glad to have her home tomorrow

[little beagle]

Well Pepper it is your house. And congratulations on a happy, sober birthday. The best kind.
Jane I get those feelings occasionLly, but to be honest I had worse thoughts of disaster when I was drinking and partying. So now I just take one day at a time. Honestly I do.