Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[treetops]

Morning Ava. Are you feling better?
Cold here but some sun somewhere!

[little beagle]

Ava that was a wonderful rant. It must have felt good. And to have your son fix dinner too. Itoo recall my daughter's teenage years. Even today she was moody and angry at me. Wouldn't talk to me. Said her back hurt. Well I know it hurt, but why are you mad at me?
Where are you Mein?
Jane I love bees. Without them the world would die within 3 years. I practically worship them. What a great picture of Duckina. How fun. Can't wait to see pics of the ducklings.
my hubby has 6 more weeks of being in New Orleans during the week, so that is a break for now. Some time apart and it might help us. I am trying to to decideif i am really even helping him. If there is a future for us. I will get there. Just watching the shame, guilt, and remorse that man is going through makes me grateful for my sobriety.
Glad you didn't drink that wine Ava.

[available]

Thanks so much for the support guys. I just know that posting on here would help and it did. Risotto for dinner which was lovely and a night with the man, so i am much calmer, so calm in fact that i didnt go to work and i have only been back 2 days. Oops. I just thought when i drank i had way more days off when i was hungover.

LB, i am glad i didnt drink the wine either but it was a case of "i want to" and "i dont want to". I picked the winner. Yes you do have some big decisions to make but one day at a time. Addiction is a horrendous disease as we all know.

TT i so appreciated your quick reply yesterday and as Byrd says we really only have 1 bad day. That was it thank god.

Satz, i honestly didnt think of drinking as hurting me but that is so true. The hurt, the shame, the repercussions would have been horrendous and i never ever want to go there.

Nar it is the 10.30pm when i am trying to sleep with the door closed and headphones in that does my head in. I'm like, this is my home, i should be able to have the door open, run naked inside if i want! Maybe i should do that to scare them off. How is you boy?

Jane, the man did say something so that is good, it is nice to have someone to look after me now. the boys do really like him which helps. Oh and bees are becoming extinct apparently. I love watching bees, they calm me until they come near me then i run!

Take care loamers.

[treetops]

Ava - we don't have a house overrun by my daughter's friends and it very quiet - except my partner's snoring. Its so bad he sleeps 2 rooms away and sometimes that still keeps me awake.
So we can't win can we!
Back to work for me.

[narilly]

Wow TT that's some loud snoring. My hubby snores a bit but it's not too bad.

Ava, Risotto sounds yummy. My boy is great. He had a blast in Thailand and came back with only one tattoo on his stomach. Not too bad. He partied, meditated, took a cooking class, met lots of people. What a kid. I wish I could go do that.

Hi Lil B, you are sounding good. I was wondering about Mein too. Hope she is ok.

Well, time for this Gloamer to sleep. Goodnight.

P.s. My hubby is out having beer with his ball team, I won't be surprised if he comes home semi drunk. So glad it's not me drinking!

[Pavati]

Hi, Loamers:

So great to see so much activity here! Welcome, Mein. This is a great, supportive group with a mission to stay sober. You've come to the right place!

Happy to see you here, SL and NS. Love when you're bored with work. SL - hilarious article. We could write the next chapter - of how the love affair with alcohol ends...

Ava - a waffle and a rant! So glad you came here and posted. There are some times when I want our house to be a hang out house because at least I would see my son, but I think I would go crazy if they were here all the time. We have a teeny place, and they're so big and smelly! Glad it all worked out in the end...

I hate that feeling of wanting alcohol. I had a very strong urge to drink this weekend, too. A long hike in the hot sun and we were having lunch with friends. Everyone got a cold beer and they started sharing tastes of the various kinds. I got angry, sad and frustrated. I just wanted to be able to have a sip! Well, I know where that would have turned out. I may have already posted that story. If so, sorry.

LB - Sorry about what you're facing. I have no words, either. I hope your husband comes to understand what he needs.

Jane - Duckina is adorable. It will be so cool when those babies hatch!

I have been feeding my ice cream addiction this week as we had a lot left over from a dinner party this weekend. Not good for me to eat it every day... I will check out that website! I am still coughing, so I have just got back to exercise - hard to be sucking air after I was feeling so in shape!

Nar, TT, Dot, Satz, Cowboy, and everyone else - Happy UN HUNG week.

xo
Pav

[scottish lass]

Hi all, busy day at work, but a fun one - we had a group of 10 from Australia to learn how we do things. it was fun and interesting discussions - amazing how small the world is.
Ava - so get needing my own space - so much so that I am not sure I can even consider entering another relationship, I am becoming very selfish and enjoying it!
Pretty pooped today (knackered they would say in England) - it was good chatting with everyone today, but as an introvert I am ready to go back into my shell and re-charge.
Not sure if anyone remembers but I was really struggling with my new boss last year - I had had the same boss for 18 years, and then someone that I had managed got his business admin masters degree and he became my boss. It was a huge change for me, and it was touch & go ....I chose to stay and to not be so miserable, I have worked on making my work pleasurable again (too old to get a new job) - well I got my performance score today and he gave me "exceeded (4/5)" which was a big surprise and a welcome recognition. I am sure not drinking has helped immensely, also the attitude that I am able to develop of positivity....
On that note - shutting down for the night and 'see' you all tomorrow...

[MeinSonnenschein]

Hello everyone, I apologize for the late check in. The past few days have been jam packed with tasks so it's been difficult to jump onto my computer. The good news is... I'm still wonderfully sober! Day 4.

On Monday I had an appointment with my therapist. I suffer from depression and anxiety. My old routine was to pick up wine or liquor after my therapy appointment to "ease the pain" after going through a difficult discussion with my therapist. In retrospect, I think this was just an excuse to drink, because the therapy appointments actually help me work through the process of depression. So on Monday, instead of drinking, I walked to the beautiful downtown of this city (Tübingen) and into a wonderful bath/body products store (Lush). I purchased hair conditioner and body lotion... things to nourish my body rather than hurt it... then, I realized the craving for AL was gone. I think the break in the drinking routine was the cure.

Yesterday was also a full day, but a good one. Pilates in the morning, followed by a trip to the garden store and some housework. I met a friend in the evening to go swimming (I'm really pushing into exercise) in the evening. After swimming, my friend suggested that we go for a drink... of coffee! It was refreshing to sit out side and drink a coffee rather than an AL beverage. Normally I would never drink coffee past 10am, but this was also a change in routine and it worked.

The weather today in my part of Germany is sunny and beautiful so I take this as a sign to work in the yard. I must take back the grass from the weeds. I'm staying strong and grateful for every AF day. This is one of the hardest things I've ever done but I'm taking it one day at a time. For some reason, when I put the prospect of "forever" in my head, my anxiety kicks in. Instead, I've been thinking... "I'm not a drinker". This will take time, but I'm really trying this time. No more BS.

I'm sorry for my rambling. I really appreciate everyone here. Your suggestions and support are wonderful. I'm sorry that I'm not able to keep up individually at this moment, but my anxiety very high. I'm sure it will calm down after I get the AL completely out of my system.

One other thing about exercise... I really love to exercise hard and work up a good sweat. The past few days, it has helped me to visualize that the sweat is releasing all of the AL toxins out of my body. I'm all about the visualization. I also do yoga, where I constantly visualize light coming into my body and darkness going out. It's amazing how this helps.

Ok, done rambling for now. I'll do my best to jump on the computer more often. Much love and strength to you all today!

[NoSugar]

Great, Mein! A key element of addiction is habit so any changes you can make in your routine really helps as does establishing new, better habits that you look forward to doing.

Associations can be so strong even when they aren't addictions! Think of people who just have to have popcorn and soda in a movie theater, even if they aren't at all hungry. They've always enjoyed movies that way and feel like the experience is lessened if they don't. I resented it at the time but ended up glad that going to the movies when I was a kid was a big deal - there was no extra money for the overpriced treats - and so I've never associated watching movies with eating.

I associated wine with way too many activities but those associations get weaker and weaker as time passes. Like Pav and Ava described, random thoughts pop up now and then and if something else is going on like hunger or anger, they can have some power. But, if you've got some new positive associations, your new "default" can help you through the thought or craving or whatever develops.

A great tool is to do what Ava did - get on here ASAP and post! I promised myself I would do that before I drank and would wait for a reply. Just taking that little time off before acting impulsively can make such a difference. One time I even sent a text from the stall of a bathroom in a fancy restaurant where I was being pressured to join in on a toast!

Congratulations on your 4 days of success!

[jane27]

Mein, Thanks for sharing about your excellent day. Feeling a little anxious today and your post was a perfect reminder of what a good day can look like if you make the effort!

[narilly]

Way to go Mein. Keep after it, it will get easier!

I am going to work out today at lunch which will be good.
Pav, your comment about boys being big and smelly made me smile. That is true for sure.

SL, I found the same thing has happened to me with my job. I have done so much better since I quit drinking. Coincidence? Maybe not!
Have a great day everyone.

[treetops]

MAE everyone. Thursday morning here and off to work soon.
You are doing really well Mein and your positive attitude, as well as the planning is a great boost. During the early days of the quit - its important to not just let "things happen" or creep up on you. I found it does get easier to deal with spontaneity and the unknown, the longer I am sober - but even then, I still need my contingency outlets (not AL!) to make sure I don't feel out of control and a total mess.
I have also like NS, Pav, Ava and others de-linked the associations between AL and activities. Cooking dinner in the evening and shopping at the supermarket were the hardest ones for me to break - because they were so engrained in my daily habits. And Mein, I can so relate to how you describe having a good therapy session - and then having a good solo be-briefing with the wine bottles. Been there and done that. You handled this really well - treating yourself with non-AL things is important. Thats actually something I hope I have passed on to my daughter. She doesn't drink (yet, maybe never but who knows) and she now will have a relaxing bath, do some drawing, go for a walk - when she is stressed - instead of turning to comfort eating.

OK - I just had my super healthy hair-shirt breakfast that even NS would approve of (!) - you all have a good day or night and catch you later!

[NoSugar]

So what did you have for breakfast, TT :smile:?

It took me a LONG time to enjoy cooking dinner again. And I still don't enjoy it as much as I thought I used to because GUESS WHAT? It wasn't the cooking I really craved... Interestingly, I never used to want any assistance (wanted to be alone, slowly and carefully preparing meals I wouldn't remember eating) but now, everyone had better get their butts in there and help me! Who knows if my cooking is better now but at least I can fairly judge the recipes I try.

[narilly]

I am such a light weight, one of my rules was not to drink wine when I was cooking.
I followed it most of the time but not all the time. I would get bombed after supper though. I was trying to moderate. I had a million rules around drinking which didn't work 90% of the time. Don't drink after 10pm, don't drink on an empty stomach, no drinking on work nights, no drinking with co workers, don't drink before 6pm, no hard liquor, no shooters, no more than 2...maybe 3...ya right!

How about No drinking? That's the rule I follow now!

[NoSugar]

How about No drinking? That's the rule I follow now!

LOVE IT!!! :smile: