Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[Dottie Belle]

Happy Birthday SL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Taking little dog to the vet today. I think she is a little on the sick side. Hard to tell with so many which one made the mess. Having to do all this on my own seems so overwhelming. But there is no choice so I must move forward and get things done. Weekends are the hardest since we always had something to do and those things just dont seem like fun now. So hard to create things to do and make a new life at this age. How did this happen????
Hot and humid out or I would go for a walk. Gotta find things to do on the weekends....

Happy Birthday SL!!!!!

[jane27]

Stuff worth considering
1) Its Saturday
2) We are healthy-ish
3) We aren't as deeply in debt as usual

No doubt about it things that will make me feel in the positive direction today
1) Getting the groceries done early
2) Making the bed & cleaning up the bedroom
3) Exercising for 30 minutes or more

Are you sure no one is listening in?
1) My throat is dry as crap
2) I am overwhelmed by MIL's moving/selling/clutter clearing & unpacking needs
3) Cheap & lazy is no way to fly (I'm not referring to me here...naturally)

I am going to turn this day around how
1) getting in the shower right after posting this
2) turning the computer off until after dinner
3) doing those 3 things I mentioned

Forgive me for being robotic- and I *am* being robotic. The unfiltered me would curl the wallpaper off. I might even ask you to throw a brick or 2 directly at me (from close range), Ava.

Love to all.

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[peppersnow]

Jane, I love both of your lists, positive or negative! "Are you sure noone is listening?" made me laugh. I'm not good with practicing gratitude, but I'm working on it. For me, it works best alongside honest acknowledgement of all the crap in my life and uglier things I'm feeling and thinking, too. Otherwise, we're just pretending the crap doesn't exist, which I can't do because then the gratitude feels false.

Ava - sorry about the back! Careful with the valium...I had to take it a few months ago, and I really it, which scared me! I tried not to take it during the day, and would take the full dose at night, right before bed so I couldn't enjoy it TOO much. But we've gotta do what we've gotta do, and can't live our lives without pain killers. Eventually every one of us is probably going to find ourselves hooked up to a morphine drip at some point. I have a funny story about accidentally overdoing my husband on morphine when he was in the hospital - actually it wasn't funny at the time, but funny now, since he survived it!

I want to share an article that's making the rounds in my professional circle, about the impact of historical trauma on our DNA and how that trauma can be passed down and influence future generations. The article is specific to Native people, but I think it applies to alcoholism/addiction no matter what your ethnicity, and explains why alcoholism/addiction can be hereditary and so prevalent among certain people, especially in families where trauma was experienced (sexual abuse, slavery, famine, etc). It made me think about the importance of being honest with my kids about their heightened risk of addiction, especially now that they are at that age of experimentation. So here that is in case anyone is interested. http://indiancountrytodaymedianetwor...ericans-160508

Happy weekend, all and I hope the weather cooperates for each of you! I'm making my own lists per Jane, and see if I can't make this entire weekend a positive one. Cheers!

[NoSugar]

Loved the article, Pepper (although of course, not the story it tells). Epigenetics is so fascinating. Amazing to think that what our grandparents experienced can directly affect us! There was an interesting article about addiction and epigenetics in The Fix awhile ago. The good thing is that unlike our genes themselves, which are fixed, we can change which ones are expressed. What we eat or are exposed to in the environment do it but so do things like meditation and exercise - which I suppose is a good part of how these things work in the first place!

I like what you said about acknowledging the bad stuff even when trying to be grateful. It seems like it is important to be honest with ourselves about all of it - the good and the bad. I don't think I'm naturally very optimistic and for too long, I let what wasn't perfect dominate my thoughts. That negative stuff is still there but by actively being grateful, at least there is some balance now.

Anne Lamott had a great post on FB on just this topic today.

[scottish lass]

Hi - jumped in a little early - thanks for the post Jane and comments pepper & NS - for some reason, I am down in the dumps today ...and without any reason which makes it worse. I am being a bitchy nag, and I do not like that side of me. Got in a good long walk, thought that would help...but on no!
I feel really tired and just like everything is too much....
Almost feel as if I have been drinking, but that is not what it is....so need an attitude adjustment - I have so much to be happy about....
Sorry for being a downer - especially and undeserving downer....

[jane27]

For me, it works best alongside honest acknowledgement of all the crap in my life and uglier things I'm feeling and thinking, too. Otherwise, we're just pretending the crap doesn't exist, which I can't do because then the gratitude feels false.

YES! Thank you! I never knew how to put words to that, but its so true! :love:

PS SL, You are not underserving...xx

[paulywogg]

Full moon on Tuesday SL,they say it can start to affect people a few days before and after,could be that

[jane27]

My God is THAT what's causing this? Ay yi yi. I switched check out lanes at the supermarket *just* because I was annoyed by the appearance of the kid working there. I wish I had a set of plastic vampire teeth to provide the innocent with a heads up/forewarning.

pug-vampire-teeth1.jpg

[scottish lass]

Pauly - I even got an app on my phone to track the moon! Am I too absorbed in my own unhappiness that I missed this!
I really believe that the moon has a huge impact on me now that menopause has hit....I tried to be so much more aware....seems that I failed!
I did some reading about the moon phases, popped a tracker on my phone - seems I need to do some more....Pauly, you my have hit the nail on the head - it will be full in 2 days and 16hrs per my doodad!
Really wanted a drink to make it go away!

[jane27]

Checking in to wish my Gloamer family a good MAE (evening for me). Bitchy mood magically faded with 3 sips of coffee. Might of had some caffeine withdrawal fanning the flames. With regard to my list of 3 things, I achieved only 2 but made up for the balance in bonus points scored for tedious paperwork & phone calls. Tomorrow I hope to make the 30 minutes of exercise happen. Love you guys.

Pav, Nar, Lil B ....missing your voices but know you guys will be around soon.

[treetops]

Sorry that you are down SL - moon or not, you are not undeserving. Big cuddles all around - for all of us.
Sometimes our walks or exercise don't give us that lift - that happened to me last week. It just gave me lots of time to dwell on things. And I couldn't blame the moon or menopause. So today I actually (gasp! horror!) went for a walk with my partner - and we just prattled away about movies and junk. It was nice and I also got some exercise in. Its been months since G. and I did anything outside the house on our own.

But I am still feeling emotionally up and down - and its not my hormones or anything like that. Its me dealing with stuff. I am trying very hard to take on the advice that its how we react etc, and I am trying to live in the moment. But its not enough to keep the demons at bay. At least these are not the demons of drink in my case. So trying to trundle along, bit by bit - and each little thing I manage to do without feeling nervous and down, is a bonus.

Love your sense of humor Jane.
Great to see you Pauly.

[scottish lass]

Hi all - phew, that was close. I found some old calms forte and took a couple, slept relatively well and have energy to focus on feeling better. I do believe it can be a conscious decision, when you have the space and energy and I just could not find it yesterday. Today will be a better day.
I have always felt grateful that stress does not affect me as others share - but I think in the past I have used alcohol to mask it, and I am feeling it just now...
Good to hear of you walk with G TT...Hi Jane. Look forward to seeing everyone else soon

[peppersnow]

bottle.jpg

Don't know if the image I'm trying to attach above shows up or not, but if you can see it, this is one of 2 empty vodka bottles I found this morning stashed in the closet of our home office, under a pile of duffle bags stored in the closet. I really thought I'd found all the old empties from all my hiding places, so this was a bit of a jolt. The picture was grainy because of low light, but if I EVER get to a point in the future when I allow myself to wonder whether I actually had a problem, that picture will be in my phone as a visual reminder. I mean, how many normal drinkers have empty vodka bottles (2!) hidden in their office closet on the second floor of their house where the bedrooms are?! I can see a beer can or 2, I guess, but gallon bottles? Who brings a gallon of vodka upstairs to their office? The shame came rushing back at me, of all those mornings-after when I saw posts on Facebook I didn't remember making and replies to work emails that seemed like rants that I didn't remember sending. Today, I'm 100% suspicious of anyone from work who emails me after 10:00 p.m. unless it's a time sensitive issue.

To those of you feeling the blahs, especially those disappointed with the people around you or those you love (I was there on Friday), last night a great quote popped up on my Sobertool app (which has about a million quotes/reflections for people in recovery): "For those of us in recovery, self-restraint is the biggest challenge in dealing with difficult situations and people; after all, much of recovery is about self-restraint. When annoyed, confused or irritated with others, sometimes we are better served by waiting rather than acting. Living sober means thoughtfully acting upon situations, versus reacting to situations."

That clicked for me, especially with those vodka bottles I found this morning. I'd drink, lose my inhibitions, and just react. Including ranty midnight emails! My face is red with embarrassment just typing that.

I'm SO glad those days are over. Just so, so grateful, and MWO and people like Byrd, NS, and all of you have been a big part of that, so thank you!!:hug:

[little beagle]

Thank you Pepper. I needed that post. I have been impatient and inwardly irritated with hubby lately. I know how hard he's trying right now. I understand that this is hard, but sometimes......

[Pavati]

Hi, Loamers--

I read back to catch up, but won't be answering all your posts.

This is such an amazing group! I hope you all had fabulous weekends.

Jane - Do you write in your life away from MWO? You have such a way to capture feelings with your words. That story about your MiL is FOR SURE a sitcom in the making.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SL! Sorry about your mood - hope you're better.

Pepper - that's a gut check. You're brave to have photographed it. Thanks for sharing your story.

My weekend away was heavenly. Just what I needed. Off to bed to get ready for a new week.

xo
Pav