Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

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Hi loamers

Well its damn cold here and i am not liking it one itty bit. 1 1/2 yesars of sobriety today and i only thought it was 17 months. I still dont think it is me but obviously it is and it feels normal now though i do sometimes have that just "one" thought but god i know i cant ever go there and i accept that. Tye said i am more together now i dont drink. Who would have thought!

I have my first personal training session tomorrow so if i dont ever post again i am dead! Why could i just not win a bunch of bloody flowers but i am kind of looking forward to getting motivated although i have to be at work at 7am also and the man is coming over.

Pepper thats a huge bottle of al, we dont get them that big in Aus unless it is duty free. Arent you glad those days are over and a long way behind you.

Pav glad you had a good trip away, i bet it was much needed girl time.

Hope your over your slump SL, god those days seem to hit me and i just hate the world then i learn to to tolerate it again.

LB i hope things are ok at home. You need and deserve a holiday.

Well i had better go and make some dinner and clean the cobwebs off the gym gear.

Take care everyone
xx

[jane27]

Thanks for the compliments TT and Pav. Pav I don't write anywhere other than here, but its probably the one thing I've ever received genuine sounding compliments for.

Haven't talked much about the kids in a while. A1 will be 20 this summer. I got him a job working at my old company. Its a manufacturing plant. That was a week and 1/2 ago and the first time I have seen him since was last night, when he arrived home glum because a friend of a friend had overdosed on heroin. It breaks my heart thinking about the family that lost their son.

[ATTACH=CONFIG]1220[/ATTACH] I mean, how many normal drinkers have empty vodka bottles (2!) hidden in their office closet on the second floor of their house where the bedrooms are?! I can see a beer can or 2, I guess, but gallon bottles? Who brings a gallon of vodka upstairs to their office? The shame came rushing back at me, of all those mornings-after when I saw posts on Facebook I didn't remember making and replies to work emails that seemed like rants that I didn't remember sending. :

Pepper, It’s so close to my experience that I hurt too when I read it. It’s so important for me to remember these hideous times. I need NOT to bury how bad it was, how embarrassing, how pathetic. After 9-11, The Boston Marathon Bombings, Newton- tragic & painful events - you hear people use the expression ‘Never Forget’. I don’t see any harm in borrowing the power of those words; saying them quietly to myself about my drinking.

I know that it isn't easy to share this stuff- thank you for your courage. Thanks also for the quote.

"For those of us in recovery, self-restraint is the biggest challenge in dealing with difficult situations and people; after all, much of recovery is about self-restraint. When annoyed, confused or irritated with others, sometimes we are better served by waiting rather than acting. Living sober means thoughtfully acting upon situations, versus reacting to situations." :

Wishing everyone a good day.

[scottish lass]

Morning all - quick check in as the work week starts.
Slept well again last night - I do believe being honest here helped me - it made me look at what I was feeling and why.
When I said I was undeserving, it was more that I do not have the issues that others are facing. In reality my life is fairly simple and the complicating factors are turning around.
I do have stresses and worries. I also think that my comment about feeling stress was a little inaccurate - I think I maybe feeling anxiety - I have had a ton of stress, but this is a little different.
I am panicking about the end of the school year as my daughter is not where I had hoped she would be to end her year. This is not good worry as it is too late to impact now, I just need to look to the future and know I have things set up that she can succeed next year. Hopefully she passes summer school and can catch up on a couple of classes - but i need to let this go for the summer.
I am also worrying about our upcoming holiday - it is one of my biggest worries since becoming a single mother - holidays with the girls. I feel that it is a huge weight, especially when spending money. I worry that we won't have a good time, and worry about how to ensure that we have a good time - I am worrying so much that I am frozen. I am happy doing, and I am not doing anything to get ready, so this makes it all worse! I just have to get going and not stress it - and enjoy the precious time with my two girls. We leave Friday morning, so will be checking in here before going, but as we are camping (well tent cabin camping) I doubt I will be checking in when we are there.
OK - that was a wee unload - hopefully I can move forward now.
Busy week - end of school year, youngest graduates middle school (straight A's), so all that comes with that this week.
Then summer holiday - this is our holiday before the trip home, which I do not see as a holiday. Busy, busy...
Thank you for being here for me - as Pav said this is an amazing group - so glad you had a great weekend!
Jane - I am not reading your post - started too, but I am really worried about drugs and school and my teens....just can't read today - hope you have had a few sips of caffeine and have a good day.
Hi Ava and LB - have a good Monday if that is not an oxymoron!

[Dottie Belle]

Hello ladies,
I am so much better during the week than on weekends. My calendar has more to do I guess.
There are so many things I need to do around here but I just dont want to. His clothes are still just where they were. One part of me wants to give them away now and another part just wants to let them sit. Siting is winning right now. I guess when the time is right I will do it.
Waiting on the HVAC folks to come and do the summer check out of the AC. then gym later and doggie training tonight. No dog on the first night. He is a love bug on my lap but a holy terror when he starts to bark. He is only a year old and needs the training so I dont strangle him.....they are a comfort most of the time....
My birthday is later this month and it will be the first one without DH in 20 years. I have a massage scheduled and maybe a mani/pedi too. Not sure. This year will be full of firsts without him. Never in a million years would I have figured that any of this would have happened. sigh...
Have a good one everyone.

[jane27]

Well I just did a Google image search on Positive Pants hoping to find a something lighthearted and simple to post as a joke. Wasn't quite what I expected but it DID CHEER ME UP! :eyes: :woohoo2:

[roxane]

will he do jane?

[jane27]

16090912.jpg

[scottish lass]

Huh??? Take what off??? hmmm - no words, did make me smile - taking things off doesn't make me smile much anymore - sad isn't it - laugh maybe, but not smile!

[little beagle]

Jane I can understand the worries you are going through. As you know. Yes drugs are an epidemic everywhere.
Have a good holiday SL. Sometimes the best times are just being together and talking and laughing.
Dottie I know it's toigh right now, but you've done lots of firsts. Your first year not drinking was full of them. I think of you often.
Thanks Roxy. A good laugh.
I am full of itchy poison ivy rash today. Not even sure where I got it all from. Now I know summer is here!

[Pavati]

Hi,

Sigh, Jane. I worry a ton about what you say - I did my fair share of experimenting, but it was nowhere near as strong, I agree. I am also afraid.

SL - All problems are big. My worries about my son are nearly as much as other things.

I can't post much right now - have to deal with fighting son and husband.

xo Loamers
Pav

[jane27]

Hi Gloamers,

Heard a favorite tune from 1988 yesterday, ‘Under The Milkway’ by a band called the Church. They are Aussie. Wonder if you’ve heard of them Ava, or if they’re still around? I love the relationships you share with your children, the way you communicate so openly and rib one another jokingly. Laughing and sense of humor is close to the top of the list on important things for me. Is your back feeling any better? Excellent that you are going to use a personal trainer. I’m going to get one for my husband as he/we can not seem to get the job done.

He recently was rejected for long term care insurance due to diabetes and the results of a CT scan that showed calcified plaque in the Paroximal LAD artery. We learned that a year ago but were so relieved to learn it wasn’t anything worse that we let it drop. The doc also didn’t make a big deal about it, so we need to find a cardiologist. His father passed away at 67 from a heart attack. Apparently we have life insurance bit I don’t know how much. We owe a lot of money on this house and he needs to re do his will. God Forbid anything happened to him, we don’t have any cushion in the bank and I don’t know how I would pay the bills. I hate thinking about it, but not having the bases covered makes me feel vulnerable.

SL- I thought you wrote underserving not undeserving. My bad. Anyway, you are neither and I am glad the complicated stuff is turning around. I never did well in school , had trouble absorbing the information without being compulsive about it. Math was hopeless. I think the SAT’s identify the really bright/ book smart kids, and disgard the rest into one big group that has to fight for fewer spots in college. Where are you planning to take the girls for vaca? I understand that anxiety well. This year we are flying to Seattle which is a bigger/special deal due to the cost of plane tickets.

Dottie, Last week I had a process called Aeroseal done to my HVAC ducts. Its meant to seal up the little cracks in the ducts that aren’t easily accessible. We have a one zone system so its never as cool upstairs as it was downstairs, but before getting the treatment it was 68’ in the basement, 72’ on the main floor, and 88’ upstairs. Now, they are all within 5’ of each other. I was skeptical, but it seemed to work.

Roxanne- soooooo nice to see you. I was howling for you just the other day.

Pav, glad you are home safe. I missed you.

LB, I am upset. That’s for sure. I never realized how hard it is to be a parent before I officially had step kids.

Anyone know when we might see Nar back?

I’m seeing shrink today at 4pm for my own sanity. I think we need a family therapist that can work with us a group as well. My husband needs someone other than me to explain how what the kids are behaving, how his behavior has a role in it, and what changes would be healthy.

Feeling a little bit numb and down on top of stressed. Exercised for 20 mins last night and going to do the same today.

Hi NS, Pepper & everyone else!


Love to all

[paulywogg]

I remember that song Jane!I agree on the SAT's not all of us are college bound, I have a problem with math also,numbers seem to confuse me,almost like some sort of number dyslexia, I still use my fingers for counting haha

[Dottie Belle]

Got caught up on laundry today. Did 60 on the treddie and tonight a meeting at church.
I am thinking about getting my hair cut shorter. Hubbs liked it longer but he is not here to complain so maybe I will do what suits me for a change. I am exercising a lot and it would be easier to blow dry. Just thinking about it. I was out on the internet poking around for pictures to show my hairstylist. hhhhhhmmmm

[scottish lass]

I am thinking about getting my hair cut shorter. Hubbs liked it longer but he is not here to complain so maybe I will do what suits me for a change.

Love this DB! Go for it!
Sorry about the fighting males Pav
We leave on Friday so a few more check ins - and just driving distance - the flying will be in July.
Middle school graduation tonight...
Agree Jane about kids and education - my girl is definitely lost and falling so far behind - each check in I do it is worse and worse...we used to be able to make it without college, but things seem to be getting more and more competitive, and I worry about her....I wish we could keep them little - it was tough, but a different tough and one I felt much more in control of...
Anxiety is bothering me today - full moon tonight, so hoping that is it and I can climb out of this funk...

[jane27]

Hi gang, stressful week over here. 3 deaths last week, not just 1. I don't know if it's here of everywhere, but it's definitley an epidemic. I was shocked by what I found when I Googled it. It's so bad I think there's a chance thar drugs may come round full circle and phase out. Its too risky. I hope the kids are scared. The funeral is tomorrow. A1 is a sullen mess. I saw the shrink today, will visit again with hubs on Saturday to devise a plan that includes drug testing. I don't even know what to say. It's scary & strange. Sorry SL to bringing up the subject. Wishing everyone a good night and hoping for a bright day for all us Gloamers tomorrow. X