Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[narilly]

Happy Birthday SL! So good to be 29 eh? I'll wash my sheets for you anytime!

Hey NS, I love the Gluten video, it cracked me up.

I am still in Vancouver and will be going home in the morning gotta get up at 4:30 am. My lil brudder is driving me to the airport.
I am happy to report I did not drink this weekend. It was a little difficult but not too bad. I always amazes me to watch my friends drink. They are so normal and stop after just one, no problem. It's pretty amazing.
Anyway, I will check in tomorrow once I am home.

Xo

[jane27]

Hi Gloamers,

Going to meet office at his hubby to have a date lunch. Its one of those little things that he appreciates which in turn makes me happy too.

A couple of months ago I switched my cell phone service provider from Verizon to Cricket. 30$ a month with no contract was the lure- and a nice respite from Verizon's high bills. Cricket works, but the signal strength is weaker and its often hard to hear clearly on the phone. I'm planning to go back to Verizon.

We've enjoyed a slashed tv/land line bill for a whole month now. We were were paying 250 a month for the 2 combined, and 190 of that was for the darn cable tv (Direct TV). I kept seeing their commercials offering new customers much more than a very basic package for 29.99 per month. I called to try and negotiate with them but couldn't get anywhere near the 29.99, so cancelled it. We stream nearly 100% of the time anyway. The smart tv is the easiest & my consistent. Chromecast is ok but I dont like that we have to remote control it through the cell phone. We also have an apple tv thing, rokus, and an amazon fire. The Amazon thing works great through the smart TV. The Roku is the only thing I can operate- easy to install and reliable, the Apple TV, I'm constantly forgetting what its for and how to use it.

In summary, our bill is down to 60$ per month, down from 250.- and that feels good. $60 seems like a lot to pay for a land line, but I cant hear as well on the cell phone, and during the 13 day post Hurricaine Sandy aftermath when we had no power and I stayed in bed with the covers pulled up to my nose, the landline was a sanity saver.

I will now take a bow to accept the self appointed award for most boring post of June. Forgive me. I feel like talking and I don't want to complain or be a bummer. I realize I achieved only 1 of those 2.

eknath23-2214506.jpg
caption: sleeping with mouth open due to bored listening

Wishing everyone a bewdie. xoxo J

PS Did Yoko Ono really and truly throw Hilary under the bus? *if so* what a witch with a b

[scottish lass]

Jane - no apologies needed for the teenage drugs post - I just need to have my head in the sand for a while.
In my work I see effects of drugs daily, esp on young folks. It scares me, and also with my ability to be addicted - I do not wish that on anyone. It is at work, in the news, on fb constantly - it is a big bad scary world for sure and I just sometimes have to ignore it for my sanity - we should come here and talk of what we need to, but we can also chose to ignore things that might cause us angst!

29 Nar - hmm, right! PS - sheets need washing! Would love to get them done so I can come home from camping to a clean bed, but not likely to happen! They are predicting storms for when I am away - the long range forecast looks a bit alive! I envisioned nice hikes, and sitting in the sun looking at great views - but maybe it will be dodging lightening strikes!

[peppersnow]

Jane I loved The Church! I was a big fan in the late 80's as well, along with the Smiths, the Cure, etc...seems like a disproportionate number of my favorite bands had "the" in front of their names back then. My girls have been binge-watching "Charmed" this summer and told me about this great theme song. They had me listen to it, and I had to break the news to them that it was MY favorite song in 1989 "How Soon is Now" by the Smiths. That bummed them out - that it was a mom song, when they thought they had discovered something new.

I'm so sorry for the loss of those teenage kids. "Teenagers" and "death" shouldn't be in the same sentence together. I had to attend an opiate conference last week, and one of the women who spoke, whose own daughter died of a heroin overdose, reported that 3 of 4 opiate (heroin) addicts began with a prescription from a doctor. She said that often, what happens is that people go through treatment and stay clean for some time, but aren't aware that they've lost their tolerance. If they go back, their risk of overdose is tremendous, especially after shooting up for the first time following a sustained period of abstinence. I have never heard that before, and it was terrifying. That explains why so many overdose deaths seem to happen to people who've been clean for some time.

On the SAT issue, that is totally a racket. There's a very profitable test-preparation industry out there that only wealthy families can take advantage of, and they do. Many of these kids will take the SAT or ACT as many times as they have to (I know one student who took the ACT 8 times) to boost their grade. At about $50 a test, most low income students are only able to take it once through their school. The irony is that the kids from very wealthy families score so well that they not only get into the most selective institutions, but they earn the highest scholarships as well, all due to their inflated test scores. These folks have the ability to pay full-price for a college education without it even putting a dent in their lifestyle, while middle income families who aren't eligible for financial aid, but can't afford college without wiping out their 401k's, are left high and dry. Well, that's my rant for the day.

A rather negative post, but am not feeling like a bucket of sunshine right now. Been on the road since Monday and I want to go home. I'm excited to see my family tomorrow!

[narilly]

I am back at home now, yay! I always love coming home. Teenage drugs, yes I went through that with my son. I am happy to report he does not do drugs anymore and hasn't for at least a year. He says he does not like the way it makes him feel. Thank goodness.

Well, I have applied for about 8 jobs in the past 2 hours. You never know when it will happen. I have to keep myself visible and start networking now. What a pain.

Have a great sober Wednesday everyone.

[peppersnow]

Nar, my oldest daughter said the same thing. She tried weed this year at college (a brownie) and had a panic attack, and it lasted about 6 hours so she decided that wasn't for her. Said it was the worst night of her life, so I'm grateful for that. The 2 times I tried weed I also had panic attacks, so maybe that's a familial or hereditary response? I'm more concerned about my younger daughter, who is more into adventure and experimentation. My older daughter told me she is worried that her little sister is way too interested in what being high feels like. I know she'll experiment - matter of time, but pray she stays away from opiates and other stuff.

It makes you glad that we're sober parenting now, doesn't it? I know we can't live our kids' lives for them, but we can be better prepared to identify and address problems when we're sober ourselves. :happy2:

And good luck with the job hunt!!

[scottish lass]

Pepper - isn't it interesting that two children in same environment are so different. One of mine also gave weed a go, but says she did not like it - but I do know she is interested and intrigued - being inquisitive does not worry me, I love that she is discovering herself, just hope that the level of interest does not turn to be a problem - alcohol was bad enough, but opiates are very different. My other daughter seems pretty straitlaced about that sort of thing...oh for a magic ball and the ability to keep them safe.

Glad you are home Narilly - and lots of hope that you get a job, and one you enjoy too...

[little beagle]

Living a good example is the best and sometimes only thing we can do for our children. Especially if they are grown adults with their own lives. I try that approach with my daughter instead of lecturing and berating. I just think the lectures and yelling will drive her further away and then I won't know what's going on in her life.
Narilly I've been thinking about you. Wishing you good luck finding a new job.
I'm in the tub with Epson Salts tryong to dry out this Poison Oak. Boy am I itchy. I got a cut on my leg and it got into my blood stream. I had to go to urgen care and get medication. Take two days off work. Feel miserable. I just wish I had prepared before hand. Wearing jeans and long sleeves and gloves and i could have save myself much agony. What does that sound like? I though I was a planner, but I let my guard down. Poison oak is sneaky and hides where you least expect it. And it's not always very visible. Case in point. Like my addictive voice. Boy am I glad I plan for that sucker.

[treetops]

Hope you feel better soon Lil B. I don't know about poison ivy or Oak as we dont get it in my country.

Hi there to everyone else - I will post soon- just very busy and been dealing with really bad weather.

[jane27]

Lil, Im so glad you went right to an urgent care. I can imagine how uncomfortable you must be. What meds did they give you, is there anything topical that can minimize the itchiness? I remember reading that it can be passed between people AND dogs- especially dogs because of the oil on their coats. Also to be very careful not to get it any where near your eyes.

Had another uptight day and things have been edgy with hubs. I have poor impulse control when emotions run high and the tone of my voice is so bitchy I cant even stand myself. Luckily, we recover quickly from the spats. (thanks mostly to him).

In other news:
Wrote A1 a note letting him know that we love him, are here for him and understand how shocked, sad and scared he is feeling. (the funeral was today). Asked him to have lunch with me Friday. That gives me a day to try and pull together a few key bullet points/ subjects. I don't want to do all the talking or snuff him out with lecturing or advice. My goal is to pave the way for him to talk. Need you Mom's out there to weigh in on what to say after he does start talking (and how to curb the urge to blab) I know what he SHOULD do but dont we all have advice. I wish I knew a back door delivery route for the message that would turn him around. The front door I believe wont work at all- he'll be braced for that.

Upgraded to the iphone 6 today and f'd up our whole family plan in the process. For about 3 hours my voicemail had MIL's greeting on it which I learned of course because she was calling me a bunch. Boy did that confuse her. Several voice mails, 'what is this. why am i hearing me!" In the same way that insane things used to happen whenever I smoked pot, the craziest things happen to poor MIL. She doesn't *JUST* get the bogus phone calls from the IRS asking for money, she gets a perv that calls repeatedly and asks her to take her clothes off. Yesterday my hubs was even at her house when it happened! You cant make this shit up. "Michael Jackson" from the IRS with a thick Russian accent asking for money and telling a 70 year old woman to take her clothes off? They must be realllly bored over there.
Wishing everyone a peaceful MAE. Love you all. LIl, wish I could help your itchies. I hope tomorrow is a much better day itch wise. xxx

[treetops]

Jane how old is A1?
I guess the important thing is the communication - and to register how you feel and stand on this. But it sounds like he should do much of the talking - sounds like he is scared. He won't want to freak you out or hurt you. Communication we are told is whats really important here - and then you get into the boundaries I guess - especially when it comes to what he does in your house.
I am sorry, I am not much use with this sort of thing and I don't have any great advice. Are things at a stage where you want a third person, i.e. a counsellor involved - or would A1 be really against this?

[narilly]

TT, it seems so much easier once you've been through it eh? I know it is super stressful at the time though when your kid is experimenting.

LilB, the poison Oak thing sounds awful. We don't have that here thank goodness. We have a short growing season which prevents us from getting a lot of things.

Thanks for all the work well wishes. I am sure something will come up.

Jane, I love my iPhone 6. Your poor MIL! My mom would freak.

[scottish lass]

Sorry about the rash LB - I have just learnt to identify it as it does hang around here - hope never to feel its curse! Have you tried some oatmeal in the bath too? Makes a bit of a mess mid you.
Was a bitch on wheels last night - an old harpy for sure! Got to change my attitude soon. As LB states at the rate I am going I will alienate my girl, but I do worry about her. Her grades are so bad and all she does is say "I know" - I know she has trouble, but I feel she is using it as an excuse and not trying to overcome :sad: Need to work out how to motivate her. I know she is brighter than her grades show...
Well off to camp in a Sierra storm - luckily it is a tent cabin, so not as bad as a pure tent, and hopefully we will have a great time. I will see you when I return.
Stay strong and try to look on the bright side....and I will do the same....

[treetops]

LilB I hope you are feeling better. Much much better that is.
Have a great trip SL - well as best as it can be. BUt it sounds exciting! As I said what I was told by an expert on these matters was that it is better to keep the channels of communication going with our kids, even if we think we are being bitches on wheels.
Nar - I haven't had to deal with a drugs issue in my own family so thats why I couldn't give specific advice to Jane. Who knows what is ahead but my daughter so far she has had a very strong anti drink and drugs attitude. She is not a crusader or moralistic about substances - just her preference and attitude. But I know this can change because a lot can just be exposure to such things. Drugs were big where I lived when I was a teenager back in the dark ages but my weakness then was AL. That was bad enough.
I am off to a memorial service for a colleague who died recently. I went to her funeral a few weeks back but this is more for her workmates.
Then to have a complete change of scene I am taking daughter to a dressmaker to have her prom dress altered. You may see the seas rise with all her tears very soon. I certainly hope not. And this is a very very petty matter compared to the things parents and teenagers face. More worrying for me at the moment is my partner. He is back in one of his horrible depressive phases - when he turns really inwards and can get verbally quite nasty (thats for when he turns outward and communicates with me). This can last for weeks, maybe months. Its very hard work.

OK have a good day or night - I am off now!

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Sorry I've been MIA - very busy time of year here for old Pav.

LB - I feel for you! I am so allergic to poison oak. Once my son got it so badly that his eyes swelled (is that a word?) shut. He had to take prednisone and was miserable, moaning and crying for 24 hours. Fortunately, the prednisone worked pretty well.

It is late here again. I hope to have more time to check in later this weekend. I was tired and hungry in the grocery store today and passed a display of my go-to white wine - and my mouth watered. WEIRD experience, because I wasn't much of a wine drinker, but I guess old habits die hard. I wish that all thoughts of alcohol would just go away, already.

Nar - good thoughts for me, too.

Jealous of your trip, SL. Have fun.

Jane - sounds like a good plan - All we can do is leave an opening for discussion.

Sober parenting is SO much better, Pepper.

Good luck with the dress, TT.

I am sure I missed someone there - but I can't look back again. Thanks, Ladies. SO happy to check in here.

xo
Pav