Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[narilly]

Oh lil B that really sucks! I am so sorry that happened, it's totally tragic. Big hugs to you. I am glad you don't drink!

It's a beautiful day here today and I ame enjoying the yard. This weather always makes me feel like drinking a glass fmcold white wine. Last night I struggled a bit when we went out to a lounge after a movie. I
Oh, gotta go, will post later.

[treetops]

Nar -chilled white wine and summer evenings - sounds great doesn't it? But there is AL to go with every season and every situation. Its cold here and once upon a time that would have conjured up fantasies of curling up by the fire with a rich red wine. Cue forward to spilling that red wine on the carpet, on the bedsheets (cos its always nice to take wine to bed :eek-new: and snuggle with a book or the IPad. The trouble is focusing on the words. Never mind the chaos probably caused in the household, and the morning after. How many times can you recall starting off with the chilled white wine and a few hours later being so much into it - lukewarm would do? I bet Ava knows what I am talking out (how to get the instant chill is a big problems drinkers face in Australia 'cos it is so hot there in summer). Forgetting the wine bottle in the freezer? It aint the same as vodka at freezing point!
You get the picture!

Hope LB that you had a sleep and cherish the memories of your lovely wee dog.

Things were a bit dire here yesterday but it picked up and maybe G. is not so bad this time. Its sunny here today and I hope he will get outside.

Hugs to everyone!

[paulywogg]

We drank cuz it was a cold day,beautiful sunny day, rainy spring day,windy fall day,yeah always a reason, sometimes I catch a whiff of a hot summer breeze and get that feeling, fast forward to the reality of what would happen and the whimsical feeling goes away super quick, TT,I've drank hot beer,flat beer,expired beer a neighbor gave us, frozen beer,you name it,alkies have a one track mind when it comes to the buzz

[available]

Hi loamers

Tree, i solved my problems with ice cubes but if the boys used the ice cubes then warm it was. Im sure i only drank when the day ended in a Y. I love waking up sober now, i'm sure i did before but it just never happened.

Mmmm Pauly you had some real class happening lol. i really only drank wine until the last few months when i was thinking of giving up or modding so i would find anything and drink it. not that an alkies house has much al in it but my son and friends bought drink over. god i hate bourbon but i drank it.

Have my daughter in bed sleeping, so gives me an excuse not to start rearranging my bedroom. God i have a list a mile long on why i cant do this bloody bedroom. At least its not due to being hungover.

Loving the long weekend here, weather cold but windy so washing is getting dry eventually.

Hope you are okay today LB. My pups at the moment are well. I have my shitzu down to 1/2 tablet of steroid a day which is her maintenance dose for her encephalitis. She has gained a fair bit of weight but she is doing ok. The thought of losing her or my 13 year old is unimaginable to me.

Time to ring mum and make a coffee. Have a great weekend xx

[treetops]

On the pet front - our cat was attacked by a creature of the night - on the top of his head. Not sure by what (possum? rat? another cat?). I applied antiseptic and watched him closely but he seems fine. No pus from the wound or strange behavior and he has his usual appetite. Thank goodness.
Ava - I could not bring myself to put ice cubes in wine and as for those spritzer things - forget them. Someone once suggested these as a way to reduce AL consumption. I couldn't see the point - either drink water or wine but not in the same glass. Not a problem now.

[little beagle]

I'm here. Just trying to process some of this crap. Losing my Grandma and Amy so close together. The senselessness of some thing like that.
Dottie I am having you in my mind a lot right now. What a wonderful example you have set.

[Guitarista]

Hugs to you LB.

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

LB - I agree with you about Dottie - I have watched you process it all, Dot, and am in such awe of your strength. All without alcohol. Dealing with death is such a hard thing.

I was dealing with drama from my non-furry baby last night. I am so glad I was sober to help him through a tough emotional turmoil at 2am. I am a bit tired this morning and grateful for my delicious coffee.

Nar - Good thing you don't drink, or you might have a hangover today...

Warm wine, iced wine. I usually went for vodka. My excuse was that I was "allergic" to wine, but most certainly I drank it when that was all there was. I was a non discriminatory drinker.

Hope you all have happy UN HUNG Sundays.

xo
Pav

[narilly]

TT, thank you for your post. All of you actually. Ya, I would put ice in my wine if it wasn't cold enough too Ava.
Pauly, yes, all seasons were a reason to drink. I totally agree.
I was thinking about how to stop the obsession of AL. Once I feel like I should have a drink or want/need a drink sometimes I let myself think about it. Then it can become a struggle because I really have to fight the urge to drink. I am thinking that as soon as the thought comes into my mind I have to push it out and just stay on course. It is Not an option. Then I have to remind myself that one is not enough and what is the point of one? That tells me right there I have a problem.
Tonight I am going to my neighbours for a BBQ and they will be drinking wine. I am just going to bring my soda or whatever and look forward to a king up UN Hung.

Pav, I am having a happy Un Hung Sunday. Thank you. Glad you could be of help at 2am and not be drunk.

LB and Dottie, you are both doing so well, hang in there.

Hiya G!

Talk soon!

[treetops]

Nar - I know its not easy but try not to think about drinking or not drinking. You have a solid period of AF time now - so the immediate cravings should be gone. I have found its best not to overthink whether or not I will drink (thats what i did when I tried to moderate and it was horrible). You don't drink. You used to drink but now you don't. Try not to engage in internal dialogues or fantasies about what the evening will be like. There has to be something else to the evening than just drinking - and I bet others don't spend so much time worrying about whether or not they will drink. It should get easier with time - and you won't feel so aware of whether others drink or not.
I have got to the point that I will not attend events or dinners (unless they are absolutely essential for work) if the AL side of things is going to bother me. The rest of the world can take me on these terms and I am not going to engage in a drawn out conversation about my drinking preferences - or for that matter, as to why, I am a vegetarian.

Its different when I can sense a fellow AL-abuser wants help.

[narilly]

TT, thank you very much. I agree the overthinking is not good. I guess it's what they call stinkin thinking at AA. I also think it's good not to attend events where the AL side of things bothers me. Really, why take the chance.

Well, another sober weekend under our belts.
Looking forward to an Un Hung Mon.

Xo

[jane27]

Hi gang, just wanted to check in. Wasnt able to get a steady MWO fix over the weekend. Things haven't been as warm and fuzzy as usual between hubs & I due to tension over A1s behaviour. We went to he shrink on Saturday to put he issues on the table and talk about our differing theories and approaches. I wound up feeling like the bad guy. Glad I got some things off my chest and hoping the doc hubs & a1 plan to see Thursday evening shows promise. I've been so cranky and bitchy lately - when we watch tv and there is a female character with ugly personality traits, I see myself. I dint want that to be t. he case

[treetops]

Jane - stop putting yourself down! Women do this so much. Your views and concern for your son is showing that you are being both loving and emotional, as well as being rational and sensible. Why do we pounce on women and call these 'ugly personality traits' - but the same things in men are so often labelled eccentric, quirky etc. When a woman asserts control she is bossy or domineering but a man is called 'commanding', or is being a leader. Take any of the same behavior and think about the different labels we too often give to men and women (e.g. women gossip but men discuss matters or share information). OK I am being extreme here - but I see much of what you are saying as being about gender assumptions and roles.
Mums get the crap far too often - and we then drown in guilt, etc. We also believe this ourselves. You are being a good Mum and you need support too.
Take care sister!

[NoSugar]

LB, I hope some of that horrible initial pain has passed for you. It is just so hard to lose a pet who you loved and who loved you unconditionally. The anniversary of letting a beloved dog go comes up for us this week and it's still painful after several years.

Sorry you're not feeling great, Jane, and that your family has a serious problem to deal with right now. If you feel like your words and actions are appropriate in the circumstances then I agree with TT - please don't put yourself down. If you're not responding in the manner you'd think would be most effective, what changes do you think would help? I know I sometimes feel myself slipping into the ridiculous "silent treatment" approach to dealing with issues. As if freezing people out with my silence ever solved anything. Anyway, I hope the counseling helps and that your point of view is given the respect it deserves.

Pav, so many things have come up recently at times of the evening/night that I would have been "unavailable", my gratitude for being AF is at an all-time high. That's so great that you were able to be there for your son (even though for anyone, 2 am is a challenging time for a big conversation!!).

Nar, I'm so glad you put your thoughts about drinking out here. I've recently been reading some other stop-drinking forums that are more like the old, active MWO where there are many threads started by desperate newcomers and recent relapsers. Those stories are just heart-breaking and such powerful reminders of how alcohol can absolutely ruin lives. I just don't want to ever risk being there again. I think you're right that overthinking is a little dangerous here - it's giving the addicted part of your brain the chance to weigh in on the situation. The quick thought "But I don't drink" can shut that conversation down before it gets started. We've given enough headspace to this addiction, right? Time to move on to other more fun, interesting, productive and worthwhile activities. Or, to nap or read a book :smile:. I hope you've been getting some positive responses to your job applications.

I'm off with some friends for a bit this week. There will be drinking for sure but my not drinking has really changed the dynamic despite the fact that I was never the "leader". I think when there is an abstainer in the group, it just makes everyone a little more self-aware, which can't be a bad thing.

Have a good day, Loamers. xx

[Dottie Belle]

Morning ladies,
Had an interesting weekend. Been poking around on a dating web site. Met a really nice man yesterday for a long walk then we went to dinner.
Spent last Thursday with another fellow. Went for a walk then dinner. He is out of town on business for most of the next 3 weeks.
this is so strange to me but I am exploring areas of me that have been dormant for a while.
I loved my husband but since his prostate cancer some things were never the same. TMI???? So spending time with another man is making my little brain run in overtime.
Neither one of the men drinks so that is a good thing too.
Just rambling I guess.
Predicting storms later today so I may or may not get to the gym. Taking crazy dog to training tonight. That will be a challenge for sure. Hope he fits in the crate, if not I cant do this alone. Sigh.....