Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[Pavati]

Right, Nar. I'm sober, too, because I don't drink!

Jane - I am too tired to answer much, but a friend of mine happened to send this to me today (he's a he, so we all feel it!) The Wedding Toast I'll Never Give. Don't get me wrong, I know many people for whom divorce was absolutely the right choice, but I like her take on marriage/relationships in general.

I'm getting excited for your trip, SL!

Night - it got late and I'm off to bed.

xo
Pav

[jane27]

Goils, I am surprised by your answers, and grateful for your honesty. WTF is wrong with me? I think this is low self esteem and watching too much prime time tv in the 80's. Its great to discover that a big piece of the problem is coming from me, because I can try to change bad habits- like making assumptions about what others are expecting from me. Its strange getting of view of myself through a mirror at a 45 degree angle (like when a room contains mirrors on each wall and when you look into one you can see multiple angles of yourself. Its such a relief to know that the situation over here isn't abnormal.
Nar, wish you could come for a swim. Despite the fact that this house has been playing practical jokes on us for 3 years, I love the privacy and beauty of our back yard in the summer...floating in the pool especially. Its one of my favorite feelings.
Have to edit some pics for hubs family vaca album that he put together on snapfish. Its 20$ a book until Wednesday- then it doubles.

If any of you Gloamers are android users, use Chromecast or stream movies through a SmartTV, an app called MovieTube4.4 was recommended to me by a friend. You can watch movies currently in theaters for free. Cant figure out why, but I checked it out, and it looks good.

See you guys tomorrow. You couldn't possibly know how helpful your posts were. (sitting here thinking 1) Im damn Julie the Cruise Director on the Love Boat 2) resenting the HELL out of it 3) feeling depressed & like a failure.
SOMEONE THROW A BRICK AT ME!!! Love you guys

Cross post Pav. Thanks for the link. Looking at it now. xoxo

Loved the article!!!! You couldn't have possibly come up with something better. Thanks dear Pav. That was exactly what I needed! :hug:

[NoSugar]

Jane, you gave us all a lot to think about. Frankly, I'm not sure our marriage would have made it this long if we hadn't given each other the freedom to be individuals. We're both very independent people and likely would have felt suffocated by someone who wanted or needed constant involvement and sharing.

Now that our kids are grown, we probably do more things together in that we aren't splitting up responsibilities anymore and going separate ways with different kids and that is kind of nice. TT, you do have a complicated situation but like we did, you and G might find your relationship evolves in a good way when your daughter has taken the next step in her life. I hope so.

NS

[jane27]

SL, how nice that your mom is ready to support you. I don't know what Ribina is but if it is AF - guzzle away!!

Jane, my husband and I do some projects together but like you noted, we differ in emphasis. For example, when we do yard work, he is interested in clearing major overgrown areas or trimming trees and bushes while I obsess about weeds. So, he focuses on what he cares about and so do I. We have very different interests in terms of recreational activities and hobbies, too. So, many of those are done independently. On the other hand, others can be enjoyed in what seems to me like kids' "parallel play". We can be in the same room, doing different activities, and share our progress. We also are often in the same room with one of us watching something and the other reading. We also don't overlap much in movie/TV/reading taste but when one of us runs across something we think the other might find enjoyable or interesting, we try to share it. All that sounds like we don't have much in common but we've been married over 35 years so it has worked out. The important thing to me is that we share basic values and priorities and are kind and respectful to one another.
This is a great article on the subject: http://www.theatlantic.com/health/ar...-after/372573/.

NS, I just now read the article. It is money! I am going in for a second read right away. It occurred to me this morning that my gratitude for my sobriety has diminished. I don't know when it happened, or if it was a little bit over time, but I do know that its a red flag that deserves all of my attention.


I am so glad you made the post about the thank and like buttons. We are a special group and we share an intimate bond. For that, I am grateful x 1,000,000. I think our thread is an excellent place resource in terms of helping us to recognize patterns in our lives. That we we are honest with each other and working with a common goal that has roots in each of us and also our community- gosh, that looks like family to me.

Nar, I'm thinking about you and wondering how you and hubs are getting by. Does temping hold any interest for either of you? I think it would be an interesting way to get a taste for other things.
Hubs is going to come home for lunch today. I'm making a special sandwich that I thought up when I was 17.

Squeeze 8 limes. Using a spoon, scoop the inside of each lime to scrape away bits of pulp to include with the juice. Set aside.

Cut chicken into thin strips. Sprinkle with dried onion bits, oregano, thyme and wearing food handling gloves press the herbs into the chicken piece. Go heavy on the onion bits- do both sides.

Pour 1/4 cup beef broth into a frying pan, place chicken in pan, and heat on high. Turn the pieces as neccesarry. When the beef broth is nearly all boiled off outr the line juice mixture over the chicken with a dash of two of beef broth. As the liquid boils off, using a fork to move the chicken piece in the pan to mop off the burned broth and lime. This gives a nice color & great flavor. Set the chicken aside.

Take 1 bunch each parsley & cilantro, and put them in the cuisinart until they are finally chopped (2 or 3 quick button pushes).

On a cutting board, dice sweet onion, cucumber, tomato (discard the pulp & seeds or salad will be too wet) and scallions into small triangular bits.

Mix all salad stuff together in a big bowl. For dressing I will use Annie's Shitake Mushroom , or Newmans Own Vinagrette. I open the bottle and pour off the top inches of oil, then add a few shakes of soy sauce right into the bottle, shake, and pour evenly over the whole mixture (enough so you get the taste in every bite but not enough that it pools in the bottom of the bowl).

Lghtly toast 2 slices of whole grain bread then coat each piece with a thin layer of light mayo from edge to edge.

Place strips of chicken neatly lined up across one piece of bread (first giving it a go round in the pan to pick up more brown bits)

Using a spoon, layer the faux tabbouleh evenly across the chicken raft. I like to heap it 1/4 " high

Sprinkle crumbled feta cheese (pea sized chunks) across the tabbouleh layer.

Top with the 2nd, lightly toasted/ mayo'd bread

Smoosh lightly to get everything to stick, cut in half, and VOILA!

Lets see what he thinks! I probably talked it up too much lol. Wishing everyone a great day!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoox
Miss and love you guys xx

[jane27]

ps 18 months for mary lou today!!!

[narilly]

Way to go Mary Lou! 18 months!!
Well Jane, hubby is doing Reno work and making some good money. I get EI (employment insurance) from the govt of Canada. That is super helpful. I would like to work in my field and if contract work came up I would be there.
That recipe looks good. A special sandwich is always nice.

I have been walking my neighbours wiener dog lately. I miss having one. That has been fun. I guess the dog is way happier since I have been taking her out.

I am sitting on my deck and am sober. It is beautiful.

[little beagle]

Narilly it's nice to make life better for someone, dogs included.
Jane that looks like a wonderful sandwich. Hope lunch went well today. I think even Julie got time off her job. Give yourself a break occasionally. Love you.

[little beagle]

Thanks for that link Pav. Great article on marriage. And yet. I'll remember that.

[scottish lass]

Hi all - not much to say today...

[treetops]

You OK SL ?

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

I don't have much to say, either. Coming down with a stupid summer cold. Heading to bed. At least I'm not taking a shot of whiskey saying "this will make me feel better!" Hah.

xo
Pav

[NoSugar]

Checking in, also. Hope all are well. NS

[abcowboy]

Morning goils (loved that Jane!) maybe I should add the alcoholic male's perspective of a relationship?

[jane27]

Hi Gloamers,

Glad to see that you guys checked in (SL & Pav) even if just to say what you said. I think its ideal not to break the flow, especially on the days when you don't feel like saying anything. I have been mulling about the subject of my gratitude respect and pride for my sobriety not being where it needs to be. This morning I read an excellent article on Relapse Prevention for anyone that may be interested. http://www.albertahealthservices.ca/2485.asp

NS, In the article you recommended, I particularly liked the emphasis that was made on the importance of partners being genuinely supportive of each others good news and positive achievements. I make an effort to take in hubs good news & positive stuff in a was that makes me feel genuine in sharing his enthusiasm- but there have been times when I've slacked on this. There are other times when my mind is in a million places and I slack on listening & responding in general. To improve on this, I could try to designate time to actively listen to what hubs has to say when he comes home- to work on not interrupting him and jumping around from subject to subject.

We are starting to think about getting a dog. Hubs is the least eager to do it- the shedding etc. I've steeled myself against the idea of a Jack Russell because they are high energy working dogs. They like to have a project (for eg agility training), when they don't, their energy can make them destructive.

Nar, What is the Weiner dog like? Dachsunds, and Corgi's are on my list. Dachsunds because they seem to be intuitive, social, funny and loving. Corgi's because of that big dog face, and they seem both loyal & devoted. I have heard that stubborn can be an issue. A 1 & 2 would like a big dog- A1 and German Shepherd but hubs doesn't love that idea. After all the wondering things I've heard about Golden's (and reading the Dean Koontz book on Trixie), there's no question that its my first choice. I found a wonder place (going by the website) called Delaware Valley Golden Retriever Rescue. It can take up to 6 months to get a dog. They put great effort into matching families with dogs so that everyone winds up happy. If we do get one, it will be sort of like dream fulfilled. I'm going to fill out the application today.

Still chipping away at doctors appointments for both of us. More importantly still feeling better post Prednisone. I hope it lasts. I wonder what it means that the issues don't seem to be resolved with augmentin, but I do get relief from the steroids.? Having a new patellar issue. I have been getting stabbing pain out of the blue in the right knee. I am sure its from being out of shape/ muscle deteriorating.

That's all in this neck of the woods today. Hi to Lil, Pav, TT, ABC, G, Ava, LC, Rusty, SoftFocus, Steadfast, Pauly and any other lurkers. Roxanne and Rahul hope you guys will pop in one of these days. Does anyone know if Dreamy is posting these days?

Wishing everyone a nice day xo J
PS Sandwich was only meh. I used kale instead of parlsey which has much more water in it. Also missed the whole grain bread. The chicken strips were tasty tho.

[narilly]

Howdy Cowboy!

Jane, I read the relapse link you posted. That is from Alberta Health Services which is located in the province of Alberta where Cowboy and I live. Pretty cool! Daschunds are awesome dogs but they are stubborn and will boss you around if they can they can be hard to potty train because they are stubborn but on the other hand, they are hilarious, cute, cuddly and make you laugh all the time. Our Golden was a big goof ball and was always happy. He did shed a lot and was a bit of a drooler but he was so loving and gentle, he also love to play catch and just loved life.

Talk soon peeps!