Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[scottish lass]

LB - Beach lover here too - love shells and walking on beach, just sitting watching & listening to the ocean. It is my rejuvenating, happy place!

I know I said goodbye once, but couldn't resist. Two big bottles of gin in my bag for my parents - this will be the first time I am not heading to the cupboard under the stairs to slurp out of them! Reminding myself to consciously be aware how great I feel waking up and determined to feel this way every morning in the countryside of England! I CAN DO THIS!
Last time I was home (2yrs ago) I attempted to set up a wifi in my parents home - it was not successful, and I am looking forward to being internet free - but a little wary of not having my lifeline...

[Dottie Belle]

Hi everyone
I am still here and doing well. Been trying the dating thing and it is a bit crazy at this age. Fortunately the men dont drink so that hasnt been an issue so far. I am sure it will come up at some point but I plan to say that I dont drink. No explanation needed.
Trying to get caught up around the house. Had a really bad day yesterday. Should have been celebrating the 19th wedding anniversary with my husband. Still makes no sense to me that he is not here and that I will never see him again in this life. But I can not change that.
So I must try to move forward and create a new life whatever the heck that means.

[treetops]

Dottie, I can not imagine how hard it must be when your anniversary comes up but you sound very strong and determined on the drinking front.
Everyone handles this differently - grief and also, whether or not and how they decide to embark on new intimate relationships.

But its always important I think to carve out activities and interests as well that we ourselves are driven by. Well thats the advice folk give me, as I head into my 60s. The problem of course is finding out what fascinates us.

[narilly]

Dottie, you are doing so well. I can't imagine how hard it is sometimes to know he is really gone.

TT, thanks for your post. You always have good advice. I appreciate that. Activities that interest us? You mean besifes Netflix? Haha.

SL, have a super duper trip. So glad you are not drinking gin. That would be terrible.

Addy, yes, gratitude. I am so grateful to be sober. Living a clean sober live is the best.

Talk soon.

[All done drinking]

Hi everyone,

I am still alcohol free which I am very grateful for. Saw a quote here somewhere that went something like "If only one, why not none?" Now, doesn't that make sense! Even the Institute for alcoholism says women should have no more than 1 glass of liquor a day and whenever I had one I usually (90% of the time) wanted another. So, honestly, why even set myself up for getting into that craving mode?

Question I have for those of you who are doing pretty well with your .abstinent lifestyle, what did you tell friends who knew you drank? A couple of GFs wanted me to hang last night and have a couple glasses of wine with them. I used my family as an excuse not to but thought about what I would say if I decided to go to a bar after work to socialize with them one night and what reason I would give them for ordering a nonal drink versus the wine they are so used to seeing my have. Sometimes everyone knowing our business isn't always the best thing. Any advice.

Addy (All doe drinking...Yes!)

[treetops]

Addy - I have posted a few days ago about what to say to others. If its friends - I am upfront and just say "I dont drink. I have stopped drinking. It was killing me." That usually gets the message across loud and clear. If they are friends then I should think that they can deal with our business.
The only times I tried to fudge this question was when I was actually undecided myself and I wanted an 'out' in case I relapsed (because I would be so ashamed of them seeing me drinking after I had said I had quit).
If they are work colleagues who I do not trust or I do not know very well - I just say I don't drink. My work colleagues should not press me further on that. They dont want to know if its because of health, religion, an allergy or because I have abused AL in the past. Just like they dont need a monologue on why I do not eat meat. I don't ask people why they don't drink caffeine or partake of delicious ice-cream (unless they are close and I can tease them). With my very close friends I do make jokes about AL and my past drinking - I am the kind of person who will bring gallows humor to the conversation. But best not to dwell on the subject. Just as I wouldn't dwell on someone's in-grown toenails.
But I am aged 59 and my old drinking pals mostly don't indulge nearly as much anymore. A few do, and I socialize with them outside drinking hours. Sometimes I miss out on some fun and discussions I guess, but I just weather it out, or leave as soon as can. I don't find it amusing to watch drunk people.
I think the confidence to deal with being AF in social situations comes with time and practice.In the early days of my quit I implied hermit sanctions to myself.

[STEADFAST]

Hi again, GLOAMERS!

Have been without Internet for about a week, so have been reading back over all the posts since then; this thread moves fast! I did have the occasional quick browse on my work computer, but decided it would be unwise to post from there (dammit!)

Thankyou for the warm welcome, Treetops, NoSugar, Narilly, Little Beagle, Jane27, Pavati, Scottish Lass, and all.

Lots of great, insightful posts and comments. And interesting issues/questions raised. But alas I'm very tired at present and don't feel I can respond right now.

Now our Internet's restored, I'll be able to check in and keep up. Speaking of 'keeping up', Keep Up the Great Work maintaining sobriety!

love,
Steady

[jane27]

Still feeling cruddy but pushing on. Got an Avise 2.0 test yesterday. It's supposed to help with diagnosing and/ or ruling out autoimmune disease. See the ent today to the my nose scoped about all the sinus infections. Doc wants me to see a neurologist and also to have a sleep study. Friday hubs and I return to cardiologist. Last week we both had irregular tests ( him stress test, me EKG). This week we return - him to have the fancier stress test with the dye, and me to have a regular stress test.

My heart goes out to people with tough to diagnos medical conditions. It's frustrating, embarrassing, depressing. But I'm in a good mood today. I'm glad to be taking steps.

Really enjoying Nurse Jackie. Last night episodes had some AA stuff and it brought back memories of the days before I knew about MWO. AA speak makes me writhe in my seat. It annoys the heck out of me.

Planning to back read and write more later. nS, I want to make a milestone graphic for you. I'm grateful I fell into that hobby, because I really enjoy doing it and it's also a great tool for keeping sobriety front and center with 3 gold stars.

Wishing everyone a nice day. Good to see you Steady & Dottie.
Xo
--
caroline moore
cdm70@fastmail.com

[Dottie Belle]

Hello all,
treetops I have decided to back to dance class. Hubby and I were taking ballroom dance lessons and I am going to continue that. I have enjoyed this as a hobby before I met him and so now that he is gone why not continue. My new life must include things that are for ME. I am liking the freedom I have to do what I want when I want and some of the dates I have had dont get that either. One in particular is getting way to pushy and clingy. Wanting too much of my time and while that is flattering I dont want another serious relationship any time soon. I just want to have fun and enjoy life. NO stress zone.
Hit the gym today and I feel good and need to work on that part of me too. I am working on strength training and that feels very good too. I can bench press 80 pounds and I am not stopping there.
The fellows I date can take it or leave it. I have found that if one fellow falls off the truck 2 more get on so that is my plan.

[All done drinking]

Really enjoying Nurse Jackie. Last night episodes had some AA stuff and it brought back memories of the days before I knew about MWO. AA speak makes me writhe in my seat. It annoys the heck out of me.

Oops jane27. I may offend you so just brush it off if I give any AA talk you don't like hearinng. I have read here before how some members really don't like AA. Actually, even the percentage rate for success with AA is really low. Some people feel it's degrading to have to announce their addiction, etc. but I am of the mindset that I need all of the help I can get. I have been battling not becoming sober for 7 years now. It was ALWAYS the promise that I would just keep it to two or three "the next time". The problem was what I said or did in those times when I went overboard at least once a month. Even though I had every good intention to not go over my designated limit, the shut off valve just did/does NOT work. So hopefully, I won't offend you if I mouth off a piece of what they say (have to admit I really do like the stinkin' thinkin' slogan) because it happens with so many relapses. People are doing well, really well staying sober and bit by bit that stinkin' thnkin' pops in..."I've been so good, just one can't hurt me." Or the famous "I never drank as bad as he/she did! etc. I will be going to my 2nd meeting tomorrow and have been coming here every day so enjoy the support everywhere.

I am All Done Drinking...Yes! but you can call me Addy.

:love: Addy

[little beagle]

Addy I am finally to the point I just say I don't drink. I don't want to if pressed. To be honest, my old friends all knew I had a serious problem and they are happy for me. My new friends only know the sober me, the one who just doesn't like alcohol. I don't really like squash too much either and I don't worry about what others think about that either. It's just a personal preference.
Jane hope all went well at the drs. It'd be great for you to finally get that sinus thing figured out.
Dottie glad you are having a bit of fun. I'm sorry about the anniversary. I am glad you're learning more about yourself. And that you're still here with us. Not drinking.
steady I've been wondering where you were. Now the internet is back I look forward to more of your posts. I often think about you. The struggles of the early days. Going through things at the same time. Glad my quit buddy is here.
I had an unexpectedly day off today so I cleaned MY house. What fun! But I'm not as particular and can sit down and take a break if I feel like it. Also tge dog park this morning with all 4 beagles. That really was fun.

[jane27]

Addy- I can handle AA talk, you won't offend me. Forever and ever, 12 step meetings was all there was and I know plenty of people that got and & remain sober using AA as a tool. So, I say go for it.
4 beagles sounds like Bliss Lil. And how is Monsieur settling in? Does he have a bestie? How's everyone else adjusting?xxx

[narilly]

Hi Steady! Glad you are back.

Addy, it depends on the people I am meeting. I say: no thanks I don't drink anymore, I'm driving, it makes me sick, I quit because I can't just have one, I'm not a very good drinker, I am taking antibiotics, I don't feel like it. Any of those things. Usually I just say no thanks.nusually people don't say too much about it.
It always amazes me that most people don't drink like I did. They can stop at one drink. I find that so weird.

Have a good night everyone.

[All done drinking]

It always amazes me that most people don't drink like I did. They can stop at one drink. I find that so weird.

Haha narilly,

That is so true. I find that I am a big drink detective. Really notice how many others drink when I am not drinking. Thanks to all for all of the advice of what to say. I quit many, many years ago and started drinking again after being abstinent for 7 years. Now the last 7 years I've been battling to try to moderate! The first quit was so long ago and to say I was a recovering alcoholic was so taboo. It also seemed like I was the odd man out. Seemed like everyone drank so I stood out like a sore thumb. Times have changed so much with folks trying to get healthier, etc. that it's really not uncommon for folks to not drink now. The best line I've heard is to just delay the drink (for a lifetime haha) by just saying "I'll just have water for now or club soda or whatever" giving the impression you may have a drink later.

Addy

[treetops]

"The best line I've heard is to just delay the drink (for a lifetime haha) by just saying "I'll just have water for now or club soda or whatever" giving the impression you may have a drink later"

I am sorry Addy but I can't see the point of beating around the bush. If you don't drink and are certain about it (most of all to yourself) - why do you have to give the impression that you might drink later?
But on the other hand if this helps you to stay sober and to enjoy a social life - and it works for you, thats all good!