Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[STEADFAST]

Hi Gloamers,

Hope everyone's doing well and having a nice weekend. Haven't been on lately as have been laid up (literally, in bed) since beginning of last week with what the doctor called The Real Flu. (He took a test which came back positive for Influenza A.) Am still getting over it and not sure i'll be fit for work for another couple of days.
However it's very important to me to check in here and say hello; we have something Big in common, and i've gained more from MWO and its people than i could ever put into words. Have noticed this thread moves very quickly, especially compared to the 100 Day Club! I read back a little way, and agree with folks who wouldn't want to go to an AA meeting in person. How can that be "Anonymous?"! So I'm very thankful for the Internet and sites such as this one. Oh dear, i think i'm rambling a bit so will say goodbye for now and check in again soon.

Wishing all well,
Steady

[NoSugar]

Good to see you, Steady - hope you feel better soon! Do I remember correctly that you're a nurse? We do have a mighty big thing in common, don't we? RECOVERY FROM ADDICTION!!!

I loved this: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/09/fa...core-ipad&_r=0. No reason to wait until 60 to be free of all the BS :smile:.

[All done drinking]

Morning Gloamers,

Wanted to share that things seem to be getting a little easier as I go through this process of quitting. I used to be SO hung up on the two nights that I fully gave myself permission to drink so the first 2 weeks were really a struggle when Friday and Saturday would come. Would puruse the threads looking for words of wisdom here and really found comfort in one that reminded me that "Friday is just another day of the week." It's all about changing how we think isn't it?

In the couple of weeks I have quit, I can see such a difference of how I am just more present for my kids when not hung over or easily irritated (which happens when I've been drinking). So nice to be sleeping good and not be stupid in any way. When I am honest with myself, I feel bad for how stupid I looked too many times when drinking. I don't want to be that person anymore.

I am one of those people who needs the fake drink (at least for now to make this work) or somehow I feel too deprived. We are all different as some people have shared that - that type of thing is a trigger. Opposite for me. So, we went to a Mexican restaurant and I had the fake Margeurita and it made me feel that I was still having fun. For some reason, that's a problem for me of equating drinks with dinner to having a good time. I honestly am not as compelled to even go out because of that so it's an area I defintely need to work on. If anyone can relate or has words of wisdom regarding this particular struggle I would appreciate it. One thing I have been doing is cooking healthier dinners at home. What's nice about that is we're home more nights now for the teen sons and they are getting more home cooked meals so it's a good situation in that regard.

Have a good day everyone and am going to start reading some posts today to get to know all of you gloamers better. I am on day 24 and feeling good.

Addy (All Done Drinking...Yes!)


(addy - all done drinking...yes!) :love:

[All done drinking]

I have found its best not to overthink whether or not I will drink (thats what i did when I tried to moderate and it was horrible). You don't drink. You used to drink but now you don't. Try not to engage in internal dialogues or fantasies about what the evening will be like. There has to be something else to the evening than just drinking - and I bet others don't spend so much time worrying about whether or not they will drink. It should get easier with time - and you won't feel so aware of whether others drink or not.
I have got to the point that I will not attend events or dinners (unless they are absolutely essential for work) if the AL side of things is going to bother me.

Started to really read these posts as I was just SO focused on staying AF that it was hard in the beginning to get to know you all. This was an extremely helpful post treetops and really covered so much of what I have been feeling the past few weeks. It really does help to know others have walked the same path and to hear what they have done to not stumble. Have been enjoying reading up on everyone else, the dog lovers like me (little beagle), the gardener (not me but admire you for that Nar), the former moderator who can really relate to my struggle (scottish lass), the fun lover (Dottie) and folks like No Sugar, jane27 and Pav who have posted encouraging words. Thanks to all and to anyone whose name I have missed as I'm still working on this to get to know everyone.

Have a great Sunday.

Addy (All Done Drinking...Yes!) :love:

[All done drinking]

Hi Loamers - So here I am at our cabin in the far northern woods of MN with internet access, and I'm not excited about that, except that
What NS wrote resonated with me, as I'm feeling the same way. I know I need to remain vigilant and need a space to be accountable and consciously think about why I've chosen sobriety and can't ever go back. But I don't have any drama in my life related to sobriety nor do I struggle with cravings (knock wood). I have a strong urge at this point in my journey to check out an in-person recovery community of women, and have given that a lot of thought so may explore that soon. Although I also appreciate the anonymity of on-line groups. I love how the women on the Bubble Hour describe their social gatherings with one another and envy that kind of fun and support they enjoy and benefit from with other women who have walked this path. I wish there was a way we could all hang out occasionally!

peppersnow,

Your post intrigues me. I was raised in a resort community in northern (way northern MN) so curious whether you are staying close to an area I am familar with. So beautiful up there and the northern lights...amazing.

Like you, I wish we could all hang out occasionally too. I am the type of person who enjoys "real people" support as well as the online support. Sometimes we feel so close to certain people here at MWO only to discover we are countries away! LOL. I keep reading about the Bubble Hour but don't know what it is or where to find it. Possibly an online podcast? Please share when you have a chance as so many people are talking about it.

Addy (All Done Drinking...Yes!)

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Steady - that REAL flu is nasty stuff. I am glad you're feeling better.

Addy - I did equate drinking with fun, but I didn't want to quit seeing my friends. The first month I quit was Dec., so I went to all of the parties, etc. I just told people that I wanted to see if not drinking put me in a better mood in the middle of winter, and most people left me alone. I was surprised that I still had fun at most places, and the places I didn't, I left early. Someone gave me the advice to ALWAYS have an exit strategy, so if necessary my husband and I took two cars. I one time didn't do that, and ended up in a place I really wanted to leave. I went out to the patio and emailed some MWO folks because I was feeling so bad.

Anyway - I have found a lot more fun in sober pursuits, too. I love hanging out with my teenagers completely sober and present. We laugh, play games, eat dinner, argue - and ALL of it is better because I don't drink. I find that some events I used to think were SO MUCH FUN I no longer want to go. At first I was a bit sad about that, but then I realized how much better all aspects of my life are. Who cares if I don't want to go to that big fundraiser where I barely can hear and make a fool of myself on the dance floor? Now I can go hear some music I love with my family and make a fool of myself on the dance floor.

Happy Sober Sunday, everyone.

Pav

[little beagle]

Happy sober Sunday Pav.
ADDY I enjoy nonalcoholic beer. I only have it occasionally now. I've found as my quit has matured the need to drink or to think drinking something increases my fun as gone away. I've set aside that Need!
Steady feel better. Sorry you are so sick.
I agree NS. Not drinking has helped me set aside a lot of my insecurities. To see past bullshit. Some things I'm just not going to tolerate any longer. And I'm learning to set aside my personal hangups on how I look or how others perceive me. I like that line. I quit hanging out with Ben and Jerry so much.
Glad Seattle is great Jane.
We saw a LARGE snake in the yard today. One of the dogs got fairly close. I believe it to be poisonous. Yikes!!!! I immediately went and bought moth balls. Several more boxes are needed to completely cover the entire yard perimeter. Thst will happen tomorrow! It's been so hot and now dry here that the animals are coming up to that hose attached to the air conditioning where the condensation drips.

[STEADFAST]

Hello again,

NoSugar, I enjoyed that article, thanks! Am approaching 52 years old, but having been sober over 2 years has made me feel like I've grown younger in that time! No, I'm not a nurse; am an office worker. I suspect I picked up the flu from being a bit run-down. Still coming to terms with losing my Dad, which is compounded by my mother's rapid descent into dementia, and her asking me how and where Dad is so often. Quite draining. But as I said, since quitting drinking I feel younger!!

Though I don't think any of us should dwell on our "rock bottom", I can think of (too many) incidents that horrify me now. We need to forgive ourselves I believe, as part of the healing process.

I have a work buddy who attends AA. It's been fantastic for her, so I guess each to their own. She and I used to go out on a Friday night after work and get smashed. Then we'd both be embarrassed on Monday morning, as neither could remember much of it, and both were sure we'd made an a*s of ourselves. She quit drinking a couple of years before I did, and is doing well. It's been great for us to discover that we both have a lot in common (besides al) so we now enjoy other pursuits.

Am rambling again! Have a good week everyone,
Steady

[All done drinking]

ADDY I enjoy nonalcoholic beer. I only have it occasionally now. I've found as my quit has matured the need to drink or to think drinking something increases my fun as gone away.

Thanks little beagle,

I have a friend in recovery who shared that even that "need" for the fake beer will go away. I think it's just a matter of changing those habits. You know, pizza last night and it was always pizza and beer so I had a near beer. Eventually I am sure a club soda will be just fine as that association of a "beer" with pizza will go away.

We used to have bunny rabbits as pets and that drew snakes 2 times! We kept getting bull snakes that looked like rattlers but weren't poisonous like a rattler. VeRy scary. I hate snakes!

Have a good day lb and everyone!

Addy

[Ginger999]

Addy,
Here is the link to the Bubble Hour http://www.thebubblehour.com/

[NoSugar]

Am approaching 52 years old, but having been sober over 2 years has made me feel like I've grown younger in that time! No, I'm not a nurse; am an office worker. ... But as I said, since quitting drinking I feel younger!!

I wonder who the nurse I'm thinking of was... she was posting about the same time as you were. Hope she's AF, whoever she was...
In many ways I feel much younger too than I did when I was drinking and I certainly have more zest for life! Right now I'm struggling with recurring hives so must admit I'm not all that zesty at the moment.

Though I don't think any of us should dwell on our "rock bottom", I can think of (too many) incidents that horrify me now. We need to forgive ourselves I believe, as part of the healing process.

How about forgive but not forget? I can barely remember how I used to feel - I really have to concentrate and even then, it doesn't feel like it was me. I don't want to dwell on it but find it kind of alarming how unreal it has all become. It's good to come here and be reminded.

I have a friend in recovery who shared that even that "need" for the fake beer will go away. I think it's just a matter of changing those habits. You know, pizza last night and it was always pizza and beer so I had a near beer. Eventually I am sure a club soda will be just fine as that association of a "beer" with pizza will go away.

If fake AL works and doesn't set up any cravings, go for it! I've made it pretty clear to everyone around me that I don't think alcohol is a good idea in general (and for me in particular) and I like my status as a confirmed non-drinker. For me, drinking a dealcoholized wine would be communicating that I think I'm missing out on something or that I'm insecure about my non-drinker status (because I sure as heck wouldn't be drinking it for the taste :egad:! I don't feel deprived or insecure so I don't want anyone thinking I do or feeling sorry for me. I'm happy for me!

[narilly]

Hi everyone! Wow, what a busy place.

NS, I love your posts and that link was good. I just tell people I don't drink now but at the beginning it was difficult. Change is hard sometimes and telling friends and family I don't drink the first time was challenging. Now after a year it is not a problem.

Ginger, thanks for the Bubblehour link.
Addy, listen to The Bubble Hour it is really good. You sound great and those posts by TT and Pepper you shared were good ones. It is really different after a year being sober. The first year was definitely more difficult. I used to have fake drinks too. Sometimes I still do. Whatever works, right?

You are old Steady! I am 51. I feel so much better not drinking and am loving waking up Un Hung everyday.
I did get food poisoning on my trip and it was terrible. It felt like I was hung over, what a good reminder. I never want to feel like that again.
Pav, you are so positive, I admire that. What a gal.

Lil B, moth balls for snakes? Who knew!

Glad you are all here. I love my wonderful online Gloamer support group! You people saved my life.

[little beagle]

Well Narilly I called a professional wild animal removal service and he said that the moth balls were only somewhat effective. A hoe or shovel across the neck is very effective. Of course that means I have to be close enough......we will see.
Heat index temp of 118 today. My converter said 48 Celsius. That's just not even funny.
I have been working on my gratitude. I've decided to come up with 5 things in the shower as I start my day. It put me in a good mood this morning.

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Wow, LB. That is HOT! And your hoe comment made me laugh out loud.

Narilly, if you're calling ME positive, I must have said something good. You're the most positive person here... Sorry about the food poisoning.

NS -I am having recurring hives as well. DANG I am itchy. What a pain in the neck. At least I know they weren't caused by my drinking. At the end there, I thought EVERYTHING must be caused by drinking, and that kept me from seeking help sometimes.

I am currently urge surfing away from the siren song of the ice cream that is in the freezer. Must. Stay. Away.

Hope all is well in loamer land.

xo
Pav

[narilly]

Pav, I love ice cream. On our trip I had ice cream everyday. It was yummy! One day I even had a double- chocolate and tiger ice cream. Tiger is liquorice and orange ice cream. It might sound gross but it is very tasty. I'm getting hungry just talking about it. Pav, what is your favourite? I love chocolate or liquorice.


Lil B, 48 Celsius? Holy smokes....literally, that is smokin. We are in thigh 20's this week and it is like heaven. Like Pepper says, we enjoy this weather now because in a few months snow is on the ground. When I was on holidays there was a huge hail storm, actually three of them. All my flowers were trashed, paint chipped off houses, trees stripped of leaves. It was brutal.

Looking forward to an Un Hung Tuesday.