Morning folks,
Are moods not strange? Today I feel good & positive. Two days ago I was on the brink of tears. Last night around 6pm I got the aches all over- took 2 advil, and felt fine within 20 minutes. I try to keep current & in tune with my mood is (and possibly why) because this quit required starting emotionally from scratch and I never want there to be an accumulation of unacknowledged, unchecked feelings. Towards the end of my drinking, I was using so many tricks to dodge facing reality that It was a jumbled mess. Finding peace and clarity has been about carefully peeling back the layers and coping with one thing at a time. In my drinking days it never would have occurred to me that eating crappy food and sugar could be contributing to a downward spiral. Even though I was in denial about the potential consequences of my drinking, I still felt guilty about it. I dealt with the guilt by acting & moving quickly so that I didn't have time to feel anything. All I can say, is what a friggin mess.
In other news, while researching peanut butter addiction (We cant even have it in the house because the very best I can do is 1/2 jar per day) I learned about this stuff called PB2. Its powdered peanut butter and has 1/2 the fat and calories of the real stuff. You're supposed to mix it with water but I like it by the powdery spoonful. I am so amazed by what I have learned about the way food makes me feel. I've always watched fat and calorie content and its done the trick with regard to maintaining a mostly healthy weight, but Hay Soos Cristo can flower and sugar do a number on me.
Here is the peanut butter powder. I found the tip on a body building bulletin board. Made me feel a little bit better to learn that I'm not alone when it comes to a weakness for Jif. A2 doesn't have school today. Or tomorrow. A1 is home too (for the moment). Red has been such a positive with regard to time spent hanging out as a family.
Choices, how did you do the 4 years sober? I'm always curious to hear people's stories and about what worked and when/why did it stop working. One friend of mine was sober for 3 years and she attributed her success to being very involved with her church. In retrospect she thinks it didn't stick because she substituted one preoccupation with another. Once she began to evolve away from her involvement with church activities, the drinking became a problem again.
In a few days we'll have another 1 year Milestoner in the house... ANewPage. Looking forward to that group win ☺ I think about K9 often. It hurt to see her fall after she had 2 years of sobriety. Sucks that she hasn't turned it around since. But that's the way booze goes. We are each equally vulnerable. It only takes a sip. I don't know how less than an ounce of liquid can let all of the horses out of the barn in a snap, but it does.
Alcohol addiction comes with a free pair of self locking handcuffs
Sobriety's reward is the ability to unlock the handcuffs and take them off
Long term freedom & happiness = remembering you still own a set of self locking handcuffs
Best way to remember something = keep it where you can see it
Wishing everyone an easy peasy breezy day.
Are moods not strange? Today I feel good & positive. Two days ago I was on the brink of tears. Last night around 6pm I got the aches all over- took 2 advil, and felt fine within 20 minutes. I try to keep current & in tune with my mood is (and possibly why) because this quit required starting emotionally from scratch and I never want there to be an accumulation of unacknowledged, unchecked feelings. Towards the end of my drinking, I was using so many tricks to dodge facing reality that It was a jumbled mess. Finding peace and clarity has been about carefully peeling back the layers and coping with one thing at a time. In my drinking days it never would have occurred to me that eating crappy food and sugar could be contributing to a downward spiral. Even though I was in denial about the potential consequences of my drinking, I still felt guilty about it. I dealt with the guilt by acting & moving quickly so that I didn't have time to feel anything. All I can say, is what a friggin mess.
In other news, while researching peanut butter addiction (We cant even have it in the house because the very best I can do is 1/2 jar per day) I learned about this stuff called PB2. Its powdered peanut butter and has 1/2 the fat and calories of the real stuff. You're supposed to mix it with water but I like it by the powdery spoonful. I am so amazed by what I have learned about the way food makes me feel. I've always watched fat and calorie content and its done the trick with regard to maintaining a mostly healthy weight, but Hay Soos Cristo can flower and sugar do a number on me.
Here is the peanut butter powder. I found the tip on a body building bulletin board. Made me feel a little bit better to learn that I'm not alone when it comes to a weakness for Jif. A2 doesn't have school today. Or tomorrow. A1 is home too (for the moment). Red has been such a positive with regard to time spent hanging out as a family.
Choices, how did you do the 4 years sober? I'm always curious to hear people's stories and about what worked and when/why did it stop working. One friend of mine was sober for 3 years and she attributed her success to being very involved with her church. In retrospect she thinks it didn't stick because she substituted one preoccupation with another. Once she began to evolve away from her involvement with church activities, the drinking became a problem again.
In a few days we'll have another 1 year Milestoner in the house... ANewPage. Looking forward to that group win ☺ I think about K9 often. It hurt to see her fall after she had 2 years of sobriety. Sucks that she hasn't turned it around since. But that's the way booze goes. We are each equally vulnerable. It only takes a sip. I don't know how less than an ounce of liquid can let all of the horses out of the barn in a snap, but it does.
Alcohol addiction comes with a free pair of self locking handcuffs
Sobriety's reward is the ability to unlock the handcuffs and take them off
Long term freedom & happiness = remembering you still own a set of self locking handcuffs
Best way to remember something = keep it where you can see it
Wishing everyone an easy peasy breezy day.
) Anyway, I felt let down, as I was excited to see how this process worked, see how the lawyers conducted themselves, and just take it all in. I guess I'll have to get my fix through a John Grisham novel! 
, that's probably why. I'm only a big mouth on my computer. 
Comment