Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[NoSugar]

Friday night I got into the car and drove to the store at 10 pm. What wonderful freedom to be able to do that without the worries of a drunk driving charge.

So true, LB! Last Friday my husband suddenly needed a ride in the evening, which kind of annoyed me b/c if he'd planned a little better, it wouldn't have been necessary. But, I pointed out to myself how great it was that I could just suck it up and do it and not have to come up with a bunch of excuses as to why he should get someone else to take him (which would have been pretty tricky, given that I wasn't busy...). Then, my daughter suggested that I take Grandson with me, in the hopes that he would fall asleep during the car ride. Talk about being grateful for being sober!

My social life is pretty tame these days but it is positively WILD compared to the self-imposed isolation of my last couple years of drinking. I rarely drank much in public but I'd pretty much stopped being in public! I'd backed away from all clubs, most volunteer activities, and never invited others to do things. I still prefer evenings at home for the most part but when I do go out now, I don't resent having to go or just want the event to be over so I can go home and drink the amount I wanted. I also love being in the moment of whatever I'm doing and remembering it later. Such a better way to live.

[j-vo]

SL :hug: Thinking of you.

Pav, some people think that since I'm a teacher that it's easier to work with my kid when he has projects. OMG. Not true, ever. I'm his mom and it's strange how my patience when working with him is so different than with my students. Good luck.

Now I choose to go out - and on my terms. I avoid boozy situations because they bore me, as do long dinners. But I go out much more to plays, events, book launches, talks and also I am much more adventurous when I am traveling (thats cos I feel safer and I am not stumbling around at 7pm

TT, I can see my life going in this direction. And I don't mind it at all. If I'm going to be a sober person, then why the hell would I want to be around people boozing? I do love to go to concerts, musicals and other shows, and I'd love to do more of that. There are so many great things in my city that I've never really enjoyed, as it took away my drinking time. I'll I may be more adventurous than ever. When I want to be. As you said, on your own terms. Me, too.

[narilly]

All of us had had similar experiences 'same shit, different pile'. Lol
I am glad we are all sober.

Well, I'm in bed with my clean sheets. Looking forward to an Un Hung Mon.
��
Have a good night.

[jane27]

So many good posts over the weekend. I'm looking forward to re reading them tomorrow. Wishing everyone a good night. Grateful for the special connection shared between us Gloamers.

[Choices]

Boozy situations are so boring and annoying. I use to love going to weddings but during my sober stint I went to a few (including my own) sober. Mine wasn't boring but I was glad to be sober because the way I drink I would have been 'that drunk' bride and worse not remembered anything... But the other ones I went to were so boring and people got wasted because they are long! The last wedding I went to I got really drunk and made an ass out of myself... So embarrassing! I don't remember most of it. Being around drunks is painful. They just repeat themselves and I get uncomfortable. I don't go out much at all.. Mostly because babysitters are so expensive and we are always tired. I may meet some mom friends for dinner and a movie.. Which is always a sober affair and I have a great time. I also really enjoy going to gallery openings with my artist friends. Those are filled with drinking but even before I quit (this time) I could usually only have one glass. Which now I'd just skip of course. I also am a fan of theater, I've never been to a book launch but have always wanted to. I did a sewing class in the evenings which was fun. I guess I actually really like being social. When I was younger... Yes, it was bars, music shows, etc and to be honest I loved those times. But as my age and drinking progressed... I preferred to do my heavy drinking alone. I was beginning to get nervous with anxiety over how dangerous my life was getting. So thought I was safer getting drunk at home alone. Which isn't safe at all. Yeah, very, very happy to be getting in control again on the not drinking front. Mostly I meet people during the day for coffee or a workout class.

[Choices]

Boozy situations are so boring and annoying. I use to love going to weddings but during my sober stint I went to a few (including my own) sober. Mine wasn't boring but I was glad to be sober because the way I drink I would have been 'that drunk' bride and worse not remembered anything... But the other ones I went to were so boring and people got wasted because they are long! The last wedding I went to I got really drunk and made an ass out of myself... So embarrassing! I don't remember most of it. Being around drunks is painful. They just repeat themselves and I get uncomfortable. I don't go out much at all.. Mostly because babysitters are so expensive and we are always tired. I may meet some mom friends for dinner and a movie.. Which is always a sober affair and I have a great time. I also really enjoy going to gallery openings with my artist friends. Those are filled with drinking but even before I quit (this time) I could usually only have one glass. Which now I'd just skip of course. I also am a fan of theater, I've never been to a book launch but have always wanted to. I did a sewing class in the evenings which was fun. I guess I actually really like being social. When I was younger... Yes, it was bars, music shows, etc and to be honest I loved those times. But as my age and drinking progressed... I preferred to do my heavy drinking alone. I was beginning to get nervous with anxiety over how dangerous my life was getting. So thought I was safer getting drunk at home alone. Which isn't safe at all. Yeah, very, very happy to be getting in control again on the not drinking front. Mostly I meet people during the day for coffee or a workout class.

[lifechange]

Morning Gloamers,

Just quickly checking in to say HI!
I pulled a muscle in my neck and could barely move yesterday..
today's a bit better, but still not great.

I'm also enjoying my life so much more without the anxiety, depression. headache, heaviness that ALWAYS follows a night out with alcohol.
The date with my friend went very well, indeed. I noticed that I was much more nervous ahead of time and it did cross my mind for about a second to have a drink ahead of time, to calm myself down. But I really like him and don't want to have to stop seeing him.. so that's what stopped me this time. I know that if I drink with him or because of him, I'll HAVE to stop seeing him for my own well-being. And after the first few uncomfortable minutes, everything was fine... we stayed out until the very early hours of the morning talking (and maybe kissing a bit!) and it was such a different experience than I've had in ages. Maybe ever, now that I think about it. It's scary because I feel very vulnerable..but when I'm honest with myself and feeling strong (the meditation is really helping!) I know I can deal with anything. Even heartbreak. That is until 2 weeks from now when I'm PMS-ing again. Could we all share coping methods for getting through those days? I always feel so out of control during those days.. completely crazy. It's helped a bit to keep track on a calendar so that I least know it's coming on.. but I still tend to freak out.

Ok Ladies and G-man.. I'm off to work. G, I've been following you around and wanted to congratulate you! So many days under your belt and you're sounding so strong! I loved your post in the Nest yesterday.
:hug: to you all and see you this afternoon..

[Choices]

That's really awesome that your date went so well LC. I'm happy for you! I just did something I'm feeling good about. I'm going on a mums retreat the end of this month. It's got yoga, a bush walk, campfire, the beach... The best part is all the meals are provided and all vegetarian. (I'm not a vegetarian but I love this type of food). I had just assumed there was no alcohol because we are staying at a school camp. But just got an e-mail that there will be one glass of wine offered at dinner the first night and we are welcome
to bring a bottle of wine for Saturday night while we are by the campfire. This is kind of a bummer... Only because I don't want alcohol around me.. Etc... So I just emailed them and said I don't drink alcohol, can I bring herbal tea as my drink? Or will they be providing a non alcoholic option as well. I feel good about this. I'm going to be camping with total strangers so I think I'll say if asked wine hurts my head. Plus we have yoga for one morning and a hike for the second.. Or we can sleep in... But I want to do the hike. It's funny, I was planning on quitting alcohol for this retreat as I'd assumed is was kind of a wellness type of thing... and I knew I needed to stop the way I was carrying on... Getting up to two bottles. I figured I'd use the retreat as a springboard to becoming AF again. But ironically I had to quit sooner and I've been looking forward to a group setting not drinking. In fact, they had sent an email a few days ago asking what our biggest challenges are as a parent at the moment. I knew my answer was to parent completely sober... But that's my business... So I just didn't respond. What a twist. Life is full of these types of things. I'm glad I at least know there will be alcohol there and can come up with a plan.

[Guitarista]

Sounds cool Choices. I'd be bringing your own fave supplies anyway, just in case.

Yo LC. Thanks for your kind words. Yep, I'm feeling pretty committed this time around. Good job on the date, but next time be home by 12 young lady! :congratulatory:

Hope all's well wit y'all.

[j-vo]

Choices,
I don't think you have anything to worry about. The people that have signed up for this retreat are probably looking for a healthy break. If you think there may be a group of women there for other reasons, don't hang out with them. Associate with the winners.

[NoSugar]

LC, I'm so impressed with how you're handling your new AF life. New relationships often are discouraged in early sobriety but with the approach you are taking, it seems like this one can actually help you explore the real you - and give you yet another good reason not to have that first drink.

Choices, how cool that you're going to that retreat pretty secure in your AF life instead of beginning it there! At this time of year, I always try to encourage people to give up drinking now rather than waiting for 1/1 - JUST DO IT really is a good slogan for this.

J-vo and Mr G, like LC, you both seem 'different' this time. I can't put my finger on it but I sure feel confident about all of you :hug:.

[scottish lass]

Hi all - back at work, so short quick posts to stay where I want to be.
LB - thank you for posting that - I want to be able to be open enough to let her go and have her 100% confident that she could come back any time.
They did live with him 50% of the time and it was terrible - but she seems to have forgotten that...there is no way my youngest will ever go back - but my oldest is getting her emotions played with.
Happy unhung Monday....

[j-vo]

Evening All,
I feel kind of crappy this evening. My day was chaotic from start to finish. We have a challenging group of 8th grade kids, and by the end of the day, I felt so frazzled. I was angry that I had to endure such shit from the kids. And the administration isn't supportive because the more consequences we dish out, the less money the state dishes out to the school district. I'm feeling very frustrated. The disrespect of this group is unacceptable. Phone calls to parents (and it's our freaking fault), emails, administration. I'm tired and in my 24th year, it feels as though I should have a freaking handle on things. A parent emailed me today asking me why her son is doing so badly when at parent/teacher conferences last week, I'd told her he has been extremely attentive in class, respectful, blah, blah, blah. Well, this is the second nine weeks and he hasn't turned in one assignment. But again. It's our fault. Sorry for this rant. I'm tired. I guess it didn't help that i was up at 4 a.m. This is never a reason to drink. I will not drink because it would help nothing. It would makes things much, much worse. Goin on my treadmill.

[j-vo]

I forgot already. I'm suppose to be grateful even though I have anger. So here goes. I'm grateful I have a job. A good job. And I'm grateful I work with amazing people. And I have to say, 90 percent of the kids I teach are wonderful kids. The kids that are behaviorally challenged probably come from bad homes. I know this. And I'm ashamed that I get so frustrated. But even these kids need structure and consequences for their behavior, so I'll work with them and be compassionate. Gonna go on my treadmill and say some prayers. Here I go with a slightly softer outlook. Peace out ladies and gents.

[j-vo]

and after being grateful, sometimes we just have to accept we're going to feel low. It'll pass. Thanks for listening.