Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[NoSugar]

Feeling down sometimes will happen and will pass - it's nothing like the relentless cycle we get into with drinking. That doesn't pass until we just stop the nightmare. I hope tomorrow is a better day. xx

[little beagle]

I feel for you J-vo. I think putting my frustrations down in words helps me. Hope the same for you.
Jane I'm missing your posts.
LC your date sounds nice.
Choices that retreat sounds lovely. Wish I was going with you. A bush walk in the morning unhung.

[scottish lass]

J-Vo I am grateful for teachers like you, and I wish I could tell the parents how lucky they are! Would you like to so a switch for the rest of the year, I will promise to appreciate you!
Like LB, I hope putting it down has allowed you to lessen the frustration, and maybe some treadmilling helped too. Very well done for finding the things to be grateful for, I could take a lesson from you on that.

I just signed on to say I was proud of myself - I needed an ingredient for soup tonight (as it is cold here!) - and stopped at the store that I have been stopping in on my way home when being naughty - and I was not naughty! Just bought the ingredient with no pull to the other aisle - so pleased that I was not tempted!

Happy UnHung Mon!

[lifechange]

Good very early morning, Gloamers,

J-vo, I am definitely taking a lesson from your posts tonight. Remembering gratitude seems to be the key and isn't easy in the throes of anger, is it? But I also feels it softens me up if I can manage to change my perspective at least a bit and for the moment.
Teaching is such a hard job, with expectations of you coming from all sides. I sure hope you have a less stressful day today! And one thing we all know is that drinking will only make any negative situation a hundred times worse. What was that great quote from the other day?
:hug: to you!

SL, I can relate to how good it feels to just do the shopping! I'm not really tempted at the moment to buy alcohol, but I still see every shopping experience without buying as an accomplishment. I remember soooo many times I went in without a thought in my mind and ended up at home with a bottle of wine.. sometimes managing to pour it down the drain, but mostly ending up drinking it and going out for more. Now I'm trying to always be aware ahead of time!
I'm glad to hear you're feeling more calm, stronger regarding the situation with your daughter. Could you remind me how old your girls are?

Choices, sounds like a lovely retreat.. I was wondering what part of the world you're living in.. I think I would also bring along some of my favourite teas for those evenings where people might be drinking wine. And the morning hike sounds so nice.. I really look forward to reading your posts!

So I'm up at 430 so that I have time to meditate before the crazy day starts. But I thought I must drink a coffee and check in here first to see how you lovelies are doing.
Wishing everyone a great Tuesday.. I'll check in again after work..

[narilly]

Good morning Life, you sound good. You are sure up early. I bet it feels good to be Un Hung!

SL, way to go at the store! I am so glad we don't have AL in our grocery or convenience stores. I used to wish we had AL there but not any more. Anyway, as G would say...you Raaawk!

JVo, wow, teaching is such a tough job. Those kids are lucky to have you. Some parents are a little crazy I think.

Choices, that retreat sounds like a blast. I wish I could go. Let's go Lil B!

Well hubby goes back up North tomorrow so I am alone for a week. Can you imagine if I was drinking? I'd be drunk for a week and would get myself into all kinds of trouble. So glad to be sober.

Have a great sober night. Hi TT, NS.

[narilly]

Jane, I saw a puppy for adoption here in Calgary, she looked just like yours. I guess she came from India too! I called about her but they said she had some issues, a little possessive and a resource guarder I don't have the energy to work with a dog like that but I thought of you when I saw her.
How's it going with your pup?

Talk later.

[treetops]

Hi there everyone. J-Vo, don't feel bad about putting your frustration down and feeling that way. As you know there are a million factors outside our control over why things are the way they are. We have a different education system here in NZ and I know our teachers get really frustrated and it sure aint perfect - but we do not have the endless testing, that seems to plague so much of the US. Even school leaving (graduation) is different - its not based on passing anything - its simply putting in a reasonable year's attendance and working. We do reward achievement but there many options in our system here for those who are not academic.
Don't ever underestimate the pain, anger and negative feelings you have. Often folks have every right too - and sometimes that is the only way that things will change (but I hope without violence). Its turning that anger, crappy situation into action, that counts - in my books. I am not advocating a pity-party but I think its important to say if you are hurting and feeling depressed, or such like. Many of us here work directly with people and we have to provide service with a smile and professional competence. I know how draining that can be.

Choices - I hope you will enjoy your retreat - and I am sure it will be fun and restorative. Dont be tempted by the 'just one' glass of wine - it won't hurt, you are way from family etc etc. You know why it will hurt immensely but often those who drink 'normally' just dont ever get this. I used to be amazed by people who thought they were by reckless by having two glasses (when I was counting bottles!). They can play the should I, shouldn't I game if they want but there is no room for us to engage in this teasing. Choices - I bet you will pick up on other Mums who have problems with AL.

SL - good move there on the shopping front and you are sounding good with how things are with your daughter. I won't parade my extreme language here for what I your ex is doing here. Hang on in there!

I Better cook dinner - think I will raid the freezer tonight and see what monstrosities it is hiding!

[j-vo]

Thank you all for your thoughts. I appreciate you greatly. I have to remember that it's just a job, and I know how to follow through on everything, but yes, TT, it drains the energy and life out of me at times. More times than I want to accept. And yes, it's all about testing, and that's sucks all the fun out of everything. Everything needs to be measured. Soon, they'll be recording data on how many times the kids have a BM in a week. Ughh!!! What can we do to increase the frequency of their BM's????? WTF????

SL, glad you were naughtiless last night! Good for you.

LC, I got that 'sit with the feeling' (when you sat on the bench) and think of your gratitude list. Thank you. It did soften me up a bit.

Nar, glad to hear your hubby-away-week can be a sober one. I can't imagine if I were left alone...no. Rather not think about it. But you've got it under control and that's admirable girlie.

LB, thanks for that this morning. It helped a lot. :hug:

Had a cry this morning after a meeting. So my emotions are getting the best of me. It's this class of kids (a teacher took the year off after she had this group last year as they almost put her in the nuthouse), my mom's declining health, worrying about my Dad and his energy to be mom's caretaker full-time, and funny, but my son turned 18 today, and I cried. I'm so proud of him, but I cried. I just had a little piece of chocolate, and I'm going to have another. Because I'm celebrating my son's birthday today! Chocolate and cake...NO ALCOHOL! One drink and I'm back in hell. I'll let myself be sad and emotional, but I won't let myself drink. As NS says, "I don't drink." Simple as that.

Have a great day ladies and gents and thanks a bunch for your support.

[NoSugar]

Hey, J-vo, I heard this story on Morning Edition and thought of you:
Hey, New Teacher, Don't Quit. It Will Get Better : NPR Ed : NPR
It is aimed at new teachers but they say it is something all teachers deal with, especially at this time of year.

I seem to have fallen into DEVOLSON ... an acronym I invented that stands for the Dark, Evil Vortex of Late September, October, and November.

Maybe it will sound familiar (and we all know how good "Me, too!" feels :smile. Happy Birthday to your boy. xx

[Choices]

Just read through and don't have too much time to post... But really felt for you j-vo and glad your posting what's going on. I think it's back to accepting those negative shadow side feelings along with the positive ones. It sounds like you are very justified in your frustration to me, so I'm hoping your not being hard on yourself for feeling frustrated as well. SL I am totally hearing you on the shopping ain't a license to pick up a bottle on the way! I'm feeling proud every time I push the trolley past the liquor isle in the supermarket. LC I'm in NZ but I'm from the States. I've been here almost 7 years.. So my identity is blurred nationally at this stage. I also lived off and on in Mexico for nearly 10 years because my mother lived there during that time. So out of the States now for nearly 10 years.

TT thank you for the reminder. You couldn't be more right. My thoughts have gone there.. And back and yep.. Your on to me. I told hubby about it and he was bummed for me.. Even asked if I thought I could manage just one! The answer is no. I still have over a week to get my resolve sewn up tight. I got a response from one of the admin... And she said to bring whatever I like and that she is in the same boat... So there is at least one. There are going to be 40 women. I had no idea there were going to be that many! I requested a bottom bunk... When I found that out. How fun would it be to have a women on a mission retreat Nar and LB? It would be amazing, I'll be thinking of all you ladies when I'm there. And yep I'm sure I will be able to spot the mums who love wine Facebook club.

[jane27]

TT thank you for the reminder. You couldn't be more right. My thoughts have gone there.. And back and yep.. Your on to me. I told hubby about it and he was bummed for me.. Even asked if I thought I could manage just one! The answer is no. I still have over a week to get my resolve sewn up tight. I got a response from one of the admin... And she said to bring whatever I like and that she is in the same boat... So there is at least one.

Choices, Smart thinking. It sucks in the beginning - I know I felt raw and vulnerable- naked basically without my old friend AL to haze everything up. This quit I simply avoided all social situations for a long long time. I had to because I knew I couldn't trust myself, and there is no 'just one' for a great number of us. Just one in a fleeting moment of pole vaulting away from the goal to be sober and the whole damn things starts all over again. It doesn't even feel THAT good (no where near the amount of good it should feel for the anticipation & angst we feel)- but once a bit of alcohol gets into our bloodstream, we're imprisoned all over again. Its just like Lucy always pulling the football away from Charlie Brown. The story never changes.

Jvo, Chocolate sounds like an excellent way to celebrate with your son. And cake too!

Jane, I saw a puppy for adoption here in Calgary, she looked just like yours. I guess she came from India too! I called about her but they said she had some issues, a little possessive and a resource guarder I don't have the energy to work with a dog like that but I thought of you when I saw her.
How's it going with your pup?

Nar, I just cant say enough good things about the little feller (not so little actually- 50 lbs at 8 months). He is smart, emotional, cuddly & loving. Its as though Id written up a wish list of all the things Id like in a pup and VOILA he was delivered. The rescue group is called Rescue Without Borders. They have a FB page... https://www.facebook.com/RescueWithoutBorders/
They are about to bring over 9 pups. I know you are 3000 miles away from Newark, NJ (where they will fly into), but I'm going to email you the photos just for fun. I am IN LOVE with this dog. (update, your inbox is full. PM me if you can and would like the info).

TT, You sound chipper. I've really enjoyed your last few posts.

LB, I miss you too.

NS, You've made some posts on the Army thread recently that have lifted my spirits! What a great group on that thread! Definitely not lacking sense of humor. I cant believe I'm such a dolt that for a long time I assumed the thread was geared towards people IN the army. That would be a scary thought!

I have the sore throat from hell, and little motivation to do anything other than make graphics for roll call milestoners. Hopefully, this phase wont last long. Love you guys

[j-vo]

Thanks for birthday wishes. We have a carrot cake to celebrate when he gets home from basketball! TT, 18 seems so young to be able to buy liquor or go to bars. Scary thought. Son has seen me at my worst, in the ER, and not that he won't drink, but I believe I have scared him close to straight. If this is a disease (which i believe it is), then he has a good chance of having the gene, but I pray not.

Choices, do you feel that it's too early for a get-away? Is there any chance to get your money refunded if you feel you're not ready? I truly think that most women will not be drinking in excess, but do you think that would bother you to see them drinking? Can you escape if you feel uncomfortable? Can Mr. Choices come and get you if you want to go home? Just some thoughts, but I think you'll be ok. Just visualize yourself as a nondrinker, and sleeping well without the baby there to wake you up, then getting up and feeling energized and ready for the morning walk.

I'm grateful that my day with the kids was not a chaotic today. The morning cry helped me a bit. I was pretty good after that. I also did something that didn't require them to engage in conversation too much. Sometimes that's what it takes. I love to have discussions, but it's so easy for them to become derailed and that's the end of that. I have to go back to teaching kindergarten skills such as 'taking turns, wait until it's your turn to talk...' It's sad, but true.

Hope you feel better Jane.

NS, I'll check that out. Thanks. Gosh, I'm soooooo glad I'm not a new teacher...I'm mentoring a first-year teacher. She's so sweet, passionate, and really motivated to do well. Luckily, the 7th grade students are a good group of kids, so her first year is going well. And that means we have a great group coming up next year!!!!! How's that for some positive thinking.

[Guitarista]

J-vo and Mr G, like LC, you both seem 'different' this time. I can't put my finger on it but I sure feel confident about all of you :hug:.

Thanks for sharing your observation Sugarbabe. I do feel more committed, and it's because I can see more reasons for living sober (I have said 'YES' to things and also created stuff - being pro-active). I'm part of a cool ongoing music recording project, I have had a couple of dates, and have a hot woman visiting my town mid December to hang out with and maybe more. I have upped my physical workouts a little, so as a consequence of all this, am looking goooood and feeling chilled. Far better balance in my head and my life. Simple as that. I'd be surprised if I returned to drinking right now, but I know how reckless I can be by nature, so I am mindful of keeping my on head straight. The whole thing is thankfully more a joy than a struggle.

xpost- You're raawkin it Ms. Jvo!

Big wave to y'all. Take it easy out there Raaawker's.

[j-vo]

Great article! I'll send this to my mentee! And 1 in 10 quit after the first year...not good stats

[little beagle]

It's amazing how quick they can stewl your hear Jane. My little Man is so naughty, but I love him so much.