Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[Choices]

I'm 42 but look like I'm 25- haha I wish!

[Choices]

I just wanted to give you a virtual hug LC your doing great. Well done on pouring the champagne back in the bottle while craving. That is not easy. Well done. I relate to what you said about even taking a drink to be in a better mood for the kids. That's where I was last night.. Just unable to be un upset for my girl and she was getting upset by it. I like what you said about sobriety being your biggest strength, weapon etc. and I am glad to be un hung this morning because nothing has changed regarding the silent treatment towards me and the overly playful daddy to my girl. We are up watching cartoons while he has the domaine downstairs. The weather is better today so I think I'll take daughter to the plant nursery and get flowers to plant for her party. We will at least be outside then and out of the loud sports channel blaring and lazy boy sitting with the funk mood stinking up the place. I truly regret the day I persuaded him to forgo his golf membership so we could spend more time together. What was I thinking?!

[NoSugar]

Here I sit having flown ZERO miles when I should be almost home . I have boarded and deplaned twice. There is another 2 hour delay. I obviously will miss my connecting flight. And it's been cancelled anyway. I've been thinking about what a nightmare a day like this would have been 3 years ago while today it is just really annoying. It's life. I am so glad that the time for that horrible craving feeling isn't rapidly approaching and I'm not trying to figure out whether I'd be better off with no drinks or one - both would be agony but I wouldn't be able to have more with my immediate future so up in the air (or not :wink. My point is: AF IS THE WAY TO FLY NO MATTER WHAT!

Thank goodness we are not our thoughts, Mr G, nor do we have to act on them - I've had so many weird, ridiculous, perverse, or just plain crazy ones over the years, I'm happy to just let them go. Now when having a drink crosses my mind (and it does now and then), I almost sort of chuckle at it for being so stupid.

Hope you're all having a much more joyful, rewarding, and productive day than I am!!!

[scottish lass]

Hi all - lots of people posting what could be perfectly good excuses in our old worlds to pick up a drink, and we know how that ends - so very well done to Choices, LC, J-vo, NS...no reason is good enough any more!

Had a PT conf with the teacher of the one class my girl is failing in yesterday - no ah-ha moments but hopefully she realizes I am serious about getting and giving help...

Car needed a bigger service than I realized :sad: and also needs new tires very soon...
New fan in bathroom in - hopefully the bathroom will start to dry out between showers!
Guys here doing windows - and as I anticipated they are finding problems (house was flipped before I moved in and so much was done on the cheap and really badly) - that bill is going up as I watch, but it looks really nice.
So expensive weekend! No reason to drink though is it!!

Getting cooler here, supposed to get to freezing at night...put the flannel on my bed Nar, so clean sheets tonight:thumbsup:

[NoSugar]

Looks like Groundhog's Day - I'm scheduled on the same flights in the same seats tomorrow.... Oh well, better than the awful repeating the same thing over and over and over old days (plus I'm very grateful the seats were available! The Midwest storm caused a lot of problems!).

[Pavati]

Quick hello on a sober Saturday night. A great big scoop of ice cream and hanging with the family.

LC - great strength you showed. Next time when you're feeling so close, call on us right away if you need to. And yes, keep that alcohol out of the house!

NS - Sorry about your travels. What a pain.

We are sober ninjas, J-Vo. Sitting back and letting our opponent use his force against himself.

G - creeping close to those triple digits...

xo
Pav

[j-vo]

Morning all,
Safe travels today, NS. I'll be travelling back north this evening. Ill get home late and need to be up and at 'em at 5:15 tomorrow morning. And we have an event tomorrow night for make a wish. So lots of energy needed, and I know I have it stored in this body somewhere as AL didn't dare touch it. I can imagine the lack of energy had I been drinking through this ordeal. But now I can go home knowing mom is slowly getting better and we did what we could, most importantly giving her love. I was really worried last night before going to bed as she had taken three naps and was exhausted by 8:30. I prayed she would get a good nights sleep but I worried that she would wake up and need to go back to the hospital. Anxiety. Lots. So I prayed. I also was grateful that if we needed to take her back, id be doing this sober. That provided some relief.

Have a great Sunday or Monday.

[NoSugar]

J, it seems like the universe conspired for you to quit drinking for the last time at just the right time. Now, instead of being another problem for your family, you're a big part of what solutions there are in such tough circumstances.

Thanks for the good wishes SFx - I'll be starting to try again to get home in a few hours. Yesterday there was a couple with a dog on the plane - can you even imagine 7 hours of getting on and off a plane with a dog? There were a couple of small kids, too. I was glad I had only me to deal with.

Good to see you, Pav.

Take care, Gloamers and those of us in the US can start psyching up for what is a strangely alcohol-laden holiday. xx, NS

[lifechange]

Hello Un-hung Sunday..
sounds like you've got your priorities straight, SF! I've already been out and about for a lot of the day with kids and guests.. but now at 245pm, I'm back in my jammies with a warm water bottle and a fat cat, warming up..

NS, sorry to hear about your cancelled flight.. it would be so nice if the airlines could just figure things out and cancel the flights from the get-go so you'd at least have the day free instead of having to spend it at the airport! But as you said, being of sound mind, not having to worry about drinking strategies.. and thank goodness you weren't travelling with small children! I loved what you wrote here..
"Thank goodness we are not our thoughts, Mr G, nor do we have to act on them - I've had so many weird, ridiculous, perverse, or just plain crazy ones over the years, I'm happy to just let them go. Now when having a drink crosses my mind (and it does now and then), I almost sort of chuckle at it for being so stupid--"
I'm trying to learn that again now.. that I don't have to act on or even take seriously all of my thoughts. That goes with many areas of my life, not just drinking..

J-vo, I wanted to say before that I think it's great you could be open with your dad and sister about your drinking.. and you did such a great job dealing with all the stress and sadness over the weekend. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been. You said you were flying back over Christmas.. will your husband and son be able to join you?

Choices, I was also wondering how old your daughter is? I'm glad you're able to focus your energy on her and not get too down about the way your husband is acting. I would wish that he could see in his better moments what's going on and get back into therapy.. like you said, in his fits of rage, he's acting very much like someone under the influence. I don't want to over step boundaries but, aside from being very hurt emotionally, do you ever feel afraid of him?

Pav and Mr. G-man, thank you for your supportive words.. and TT!
I woke up in the middle of the night, so thankful that I hadn't had a drink. I felt like I'd been through a huge battle.. and couldn't any more imagine that cravings could be so strong. It's almost like contractions before giving birth, isn't it? You feel like you might die, and can't imagine you might come out of the pain and then a few minutes later fall asleep peacefully until the next one comes. Thank goodness the alcohol cravings don't come every 5 minutes!

SL, so looking forward to flannel sheets.. I put a warm water bottle in my bed every evening before going to bed. That helps a lot, too..

This is a "Today's Gift" from the other day that I liked..


We have no right to ask when sorrow comes, "Why did this happen to me?" unless we ask the same question for every moment of happiness that comes our way.
--Author unknown

A millionaire wanted his son to understand that the world was made up of those who had great happiness in the world because they never wanted for anything, and those who lived in unhappiness because their struggles were never-ending. He asked one of his lowest-paid workers if his son could stay for a weekend, and the employee agreed.

When the weekend was over, the millionaire picked up his son. On the way home he asked his son, "What did you learn about how others live?"

"A lot," the boy replied as he sat with his shoulders slumped, "We have a dog, but they have three dogs and a couple of cats. They even have chickens and ducks and a donkey. We have a swimming pool, but they have this great big lake. We have a deck, but they have a back yard that stretches for miles and miles. And at dinner, they all sit around a table and laugh and talk together."

The millionaire sat in silence, listening to his son.

"I guess the lesson I learned, Dad, is how poor we really are."

Rather than rue what I do not have, I will be happy for all that I have been given.

[lifechange]

X-Post NS and J-vo!!:hug:
Good flights for both of you!!

[fennel]

Hi ladies...is it okay if I hop in?

[Choices]

Hi fennel, that would be great if you popped in

ML, no I don't feel afraid of him. He doesn't have fits of rage, it's more me that does. He has anger displacement where he thinks I'm the cause of something making him miserable. When he is rational, he knows I'm not the cause.. Or at least that is what he says. But I believe him. Because the directed anger towards me doesn't make since. It's like he is in a strange funk...but thinks it's me. That's what I mean about like he's drunk. He's probably exhausted and unable to see clearly. So his mind is altered. If I'd actually done something wrong.... Like how I was my last drunk I can understand the anger he has at me, and that is warranted. That I can be responsible for and accept that he is angry with me. That makes since.

Maybe he is mad at me for legitimate reasons but can't express what it is so I'm in the dark and he gets mad at something small and trivial (in my eyes) instead. I don't know, it's all so confusing. He is more of a silent treatment stonewall type. His anger when at a high level is very quiet. It seams like this is better then yelling and screaming (what I do) but in a way it can be just as destructive. (According to the therapist) we went to couples therapy...for a few sessions, he doesn't see a therapist. Once for stress at work, but not regularly.

The egg shells are all quiet ones, looks sighs, groaning. When I said snarl at me it was actually talking in a low voice, sounding annoyed. All of it always makes me question if I'm too sensitive, or is he being a jerk. Probably a bit of both. Honestly, I don't think he takes very good care of himself. He works too hard and doesn't make time for himself to rejuvenate. It annoys me to no end. If you don't take care of yourself you can't really take care of others so he just crumbles and acts poorly. I've made tons of suggestions.., but it's ultimately up to him. He probably doesn't know how, and the majority of his time is providing. I probably made him sound like a monster. He isn't. But I guess I do feel afraid of myself and how I react to our conflicts. So I'm afraid. But not of him.. If that makes any since.

[lifechange]

Hi Fennel! Good to see you! How are you?

Yeah, I understand that, Choices. I'm also more of the blow up and scream type of angry where all of the men I've been involved with seem to be the silent, stone-wall types. Relationships can be so complicated, can't they? I think it's great, though, that you can come here and get some of the anger/frustration/sadness off your chest. It seems like just writing it all out can help so much.. How has your day been? You must be getting ready for bed soon..?

[fennel]

Doing well, lifechange...
Wow, there's a lot going on here! J-vo, I'm sorry about your mom...do the doctors know what caused her cardiomyopathy? Was it a virus? The ALS? It's such a challenge dealing with ailing parents, but it would be ten times more difficult if we were drinking.

[fennel]

Choices, forgive me, as I don't know all the back story...would hubs consider marriage counseling? All that agression is poison in a marriage.