Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[NoSugar]

Almost everyone has soda water, so I usually go with that. Often it's free, which is a bonus. If I'm freezing, I order decaff with cream if it is a place that has that, too. For the most part we don't go to places that are only "bars", and never have, so that helps. To be honest, we don't really go out all that much so I guess I shouldn't make it sound easy -- I suspect it would be much harder for a person with an active social life.

Choices wrote something on the Army thread the other day that really struck me:

So when offered the free glass of wine on the plane, and getting my head prepared for a 12 hour flight sharing my seat with a screaming toddler... I caved and took the drink. I wasn't craving it... I just didn't say no.

I think that kind of inattention is exactly what could derail me, and I suspect others. Thanks for making it so clear what can happen, Choices. I think it is why many people make through big events just fine and then drink afterwards. They're all geared up not to drink at Thanksgiving dinner, for example, but then relax into a glass of wine that is offered with the leftovers a couple of days later. So, let's keep our focus, Gloamers! This doesn't have to be a big deal or a burden, just do whatever it takes to remind yourself each day that You don't drink!

[NoSugar]

El, I read elsewhere all the things you're facing right now. I'm so sorry your life is being upturned. I hope you still will have access to Mozart. :hug: NS

[Eloise]

I do have access to Mozart now, but if I go out to the country I won't.
I had my own little meltdown over that yesterday, so my husband says "of course you can take Mozart.'
He did the math and we are looking at around 6000 euros plus 500 plus per month. Am I CRAZY? The man is struggling to find a reasonably paying job and I am going to make him buy me a horse. What a baby I can be. I will have to come here 1x a week, if it comes to that, and spend time with him in The Hague. Did I mention they almost put him down last year because of a lame leg? Are we going to buy a 21 year old horse to put him down in a couple of years?
Lordie.
Somehow I feel giving up on riding woukd be the logical thing now, but somehow ridiculous to do After lossing part of a finger. If I give up it will all be for nothing. Lets see how I feel in a couple of days. My reaction last night was 'wait, dont take me home yet, we have to stop at the stable to give Mozart his carrots.'
I honestly do not think I would have gotten this far af without that horse.

[Eloise]

NS- we hardly go out either.
i am still at a place where i may not say no if asked regularly! What is important is I am very aware of it.
i stll repeat in my head ' i don't drink wine, i don't drink wine,,,,"

(you should have heard me BEGGING for pain killers last night though!)

[little beagle]

Quick check in for me. Eloise I don't think I'd ave gotten this far in my sobriety without the support of my doggies. I understand.
My thing I do NS is come visit with everyone here. This brings the reminder to the front of mt mind. I Don't Drink. No Matter What.

[jane27]

Seriously dragging over here in Jerzey. Each chore requires conning (me conning me). On the plus side, sense of humor is in tact-a-mundo, and this, she is a blessing. I have fond memories of getting blasted but they're kind of like old boyfriends..I don't want them back. Wishing everyone peace & strength. Listened to an excellent Bubble Hour podcast yesterday. I think it cheered me up to hear people talking about all of this stuff. Like going to lunch with a friend. xxx

PS Been watching Homeland and love it despite the fact that its another one of those shows where everyone makes tubmlers of liquor seem perfectly normal- even admirable (successful people can suck up the stress). Just for funsies, I decided to imagine the scene with the person reaching for a needle to shoot up heroin in place of the glass filled with scotch. Doesn't look quite as nice (understatement). AL is a wolf in sheeps clothing.

oh, one more thing... something scared the heck out of Red yesterday- literally made his fur stand up. Think I've mentioned I think he may have some Ridgeback in him- but other than this event, he doesnt have the Ridge. Have you guys seen the hair go up in just a long stripe down the back when your dog(s) get freaked out?

[j-vo]

Jane,
Red is beautiful. Is he trained well. We're still training Ramsay to go outside. He does each and every time, but he also pees in the house. Thank goodness for ceramic tile. We got the ceramic tile because of Leo!

Winding down here. Kids had a half day, and we're allowed to leave at 1:30 if we helped with a projecdt. I'm outa here!

Tonight should be a relaxing night. I'd like to get on the treadmill, maybe start some decorating. We're only having about 10 people over for dinner, so pretty simple.

Anyone having a large crowd for dinner? We used to and it got to be too much. I'm looking forward to setting a nice table and seeing my sister and her adult children. My niece will be having her baby Jan 11 and we're so excited.

Not much going on here. I feel as though I'm quite dull right now, so I will bore you no more. Have a good night all.

[lifechange]

Hello Gloamers,

I'm having a bit of a downer today. Just feeling under the weather, tired. I came home from work early and cancelled a coffee date with a good friend who began to criticize me, saying she didn't want to waste her time making appointments with me any more because I always cancel. That isn't the case any more but it's still how she has me in her mind. We exchanged emails and lots of other things came up.. which I think we'll be able to work through, but which are hurtful and sad just the same.
I've also put the word out all over the place.. work, the school, etc, that I'm searching for a new home. I hope something will come of it, but the housing situation here is tough. It's become such a popular place to live and the rents have sky-rocketed since I last looked for a flat.. wish me luck. I've always been lucky finding flats, but I'm afraid it may have run out after this last one..

Anyway, I'm happy to be here and sober. I am definitely on the look out for those situations that aren't so obvious.. on the plane. That's a good one to be aware of, NS. I'm not going to bars any more either. Actually, now that I said that, I realised I'm meeting a friend tomorrow evening at a bar/café.. but she's one who knows I don't drink. So I'll have a coffee. Or a sparkling apple juice.
Jane, it bugged me, too, all the drinking in Homeland. And that Carey always comes home to a bottle of white wine. Of course she has a problem.. but she's so functional that I remember thinking at times, "why is it so bad if you get done the things you need to get done?" That was always a huge fighting point/f*** you point when I wanted my BF to leave me alone with my drinking. "What the fuck do you have to say about it? I work, I take care of the kids, I cook, I clean, I get done all the things I need to get done. You've got nothing to say." I was belligerent, a complete mess somehow managing to get through the day..God, I don't miss that!

Eloise, again, :hug:
:hug: to all of you wonderful Gloamers. Off to make a yogi tea. My new favourite evening drink. With milk and honey.

[scottish lass]

El - my girls are horsey girls - so get the pleasure that brings you - the first horse they rode is getting old - 26, I took him for a walk (like a dog) the other day as he is getting too old to be ridden - we also do not own, not enough $$ or hours in a day...hope things work out.
LC - sorry you are down....the holidays make me somewhat reflective and able to go down, but I work hard on staying back from that place. I am trying to stop letting people hurt me - easier said than done for sure, but it is survival for me....
j-vo - small meal for us, just the three of us - that is what brings me down - my family is too far away...I do find these meals to be lonely, but try to make the best of it and not focus on that. Put the turkey in brine last night - will be looking for lots of leftover recipes as we don't eat much. On the other-side, I don't have to worry about wine being around!
Was driving to wrok today - lovely and quiet as schools are out, contemplating the horrible drive home as everyoen tries to leave teh Bay for teh holiday - I decded to treat myself to a Starbucks as I did not have to nag the girls out of bed for school - did the drive thru, and went to pay when I was told the people in front paid for my order - it changed my whole attitude around and I will not let the drive home bug me! Looking forward to paying it back!
Girls are spending day and evening with their father and his girlfriend - only meal each year that the share! Hoping they don't come home with any more heart breaking crazy notions that he puts in their heads!
Up early tomorrow for a 5K for the local food-bank - great way to start the day - girls say they are walking, so I will walk too even though I would really like to run.
OK - back to work!

[lifechange]

What a beautiful doggie, Jane! Thanks for sharing the picture..
J-vo. Have a wonderful, relaxing day tomorrow..
that goes for all of you Gloamers celebrating Thanksgiving.. as well to all of us who aren't !:happy2:
SL, good advice not to let others hurt us.. I have pretty much shaken it off and realized that a lot of her criticisms are probably reflecting how she's feeling about herself. She was quite out of touch with her remarks. How nice of the people in front of you at Starbucks.. wishing you a lovely time with your girls!

ok all.. off to bed and see you tomorrow..

[jane27]

LC, 21 days for you tomorrow & 1 month for SL That's gooooood stuff!

[Pavati]

Hi, Gloamers--

Sorry you're not feeling well, LC. Sorry about your friend, too. I hate having conversations like that over email.

Hi, Red. You're adorable.

I'm with 16 at my sister's. I think it will be fun, I love getting the cousins together. Low key, and I get to drive home and not have a terrible sleep like I have so many Thanksgivings in the past. SO grateful to be heading into this holiday season sober.

Off to hear some live music. Frankly, I'd rather get in my jammies, but I know I'll have fun once I get out.

Happy Thanksgiving, all. I'm thankful for all of you.

xo
Pav

[scottish lass]

Tried to post this list but it is too long - take heed, ignore the 3 that don't apply and pay special heed to the last one!
I am grateful for you all:hug::hug:

[narilly]

Hi everyone. Lots of posts, it's great to see.

Choices, that is a tough situation. I can see how that would happen if you weren't prepared for that.

El, sorry your having such a hard time. I understand your bond with your horse...hang in there.

Happy Thanksgiving all yo Americans!

Stay sober everyone...it is getting a bit warm in here...G

[Eloise]

Yes i have seen the hair go up, when it is a big dog (not a little sausage) it is pretty scary! Means High Alert!
Love the ear by the way. When I first took Eli in I thought ' arent I doing a good deed." Five years later I thought 'gosh, I am lucky to have such a devoted and polite dog.'
She is so polite it is scary sometimes. Yesterday when I was stumbling around she kept following me and then sitting down, but at attention, waiting to see what I was going to do next. My caretaker I guess. Funny how the roles reverse themselves