Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[Eloise]

Nar! A dachshund?! Oh that is just Great news. Cant wait to see the pictures! Very happy for you.

[Eloise]

The Elvis countdown Nar- 18 days!

[narilly]

El, yes, the countdown is on! I can hardly wait!

TT, I am glad you feel strong in your quit. My kids are gone all the time too and I am alone quite often hubby works up north 1 week on and 1 week off so I have to make sure I don't get drinking thoughts in my head. I just keep coming back here to talk to you wonderful Gloamers.

Looking forward to a Un hung Saturday.

[treetops]

Nar - have you got your blue suede shoes ready?

[lifechange]

Hi Gloamers!
Up early on an Un-hung Saturday morning! Didn't set my alarm so I could sleep in.. no such doing. 6am is my natural wake up time, I guess.

TT, Congrats to your daughter for finishing up highschool!! She must be so excited and relieved.. Where are they going for their tramping trip? You're in Australia, right? I'm also a bit of a Humbug for Christmas, but I try to pull myself together for the kids. They made Advents wreaths at the school so I'll get a nice candle to light on Sunday. I mostly just have a hard time (maybe because I'm not really active with the church/religion) finding balance this time of year. I hate the fact that it's so much about shopping and finding the perfect gift, running around like a lunatic. We're living in a big city, where it's not easy to get into Nature.. and I find it so important, especially now during this time of consumption, to be aware of what it's all really about. I was just thinking, my goal this year, will be to slow down. To meet up with friends and to be present, not thinking about all the stuff I still have to do! I think I'll do less and take some of the pressure off of myself..

J-vo, Sounds like a great time.. decorating and blasting Christmas music. What kind of music do you like? I think it's nice to have some alone time when everything's so hectic. I hope you enjoyed yourself.. good call with not going to the concert..

Last night, after the theatre (which was pretty good) we had to go through a huge Christmas market area to get to the underground.. Everyone! was drinking alcohol.. Glühwein is a warm, spiced red wine drink here and literally everyone was outside drinking it..or beer. We saw lots of teenagers (a year older than my daughter) carrying around open prosecco bottles, flavoured vodka, obnoxious as hell. She asked me if they were all drunk? I said, yeah, looks like it.. It seemed so sad, such a waste of time and precious life. How much of mine I wasted with that crap.. We talked a bit about it. People beginning at such a young age to drink. My daughter is sure she won't drink. She said that if her friends start to drink, she's going to be the one who watches out and makes sure no one gets in trouble or hurt. ..I said that at some point she might change her mind, but that I hoped she would wait as long as possible, as her brain is still developing..as well as the rest of her body. She's very worried about shrivelling her brain. We haven't really talked specifically about my alcoholism.. she knows her grandma is a recovering alcoholic and I have told her several times that I'm not drinking any more.. that when I start, I can't stop. So I just don't. She's so much more together, intelligent than I was at that age.. I was already spending so much of my time hanging out with the wrong crowd, skipping school and getting drunk and stoned. I've been so scared that she might follow in my footsteps, beginning at a young age to drink.. but she seems strong. I told her again that she can talk to me at any time about anything, even if she feels like she's made some sort of mistake, and I won't judge her. So far, so good.

Nar, soooo exciting about little Elvis! Couldn't be any better gift than that! You'll have to post some pictures when he gets home.. How old is he? You're getting him from a rescue home, right?

Yesterday I read a lot on line. I was feeling a bit off, as I have been for days. Discomfort..
Here's an article from, "The Fix", an on-line publication about recovery.. this is by a young comedian/journalist..she uses a lot of bad words! but has some good points and is kind of funny.. 5 reasons sobriety is awesome..

https://www.thefix.com/content/things-remember-be-grateful-after-you%E2%80%99ve-been-sober-awhile

Off to try and meditate. It's been really hard to keep my mind focussed lately.. but I will keep trying! Never give up!

[j-vo]

TT and LC,
It seems we're all in the same boat. I drank and did other forms of recreational drugs? starting at 17. I wish I could take it back. I hung with a bad crowd and didn't do well in school due to not caring. The drinking escalated for me in my mid 30's, but always was a weekend drinker before that. My son, too, has seen things that I'm sure have scared him straight, and I'm not proud of it, ashamed, but then again, maybe he'll think twice before doing stupid shit like I did. For now, he makes excellent choices, and is aware of good health. I hope that continues when he goes to college next year.

At a basketball game, and our boys are getting ready to play again. Have a great day.

[lifechange]

So sorry, TT! I know that was a huge faux pas.. you and Choices have exchanged posts where Kiwis have been mentioned, but I couldn't remember who had said what..? Now tell me, where is she living? I know she's American but lived for awhile in Mexico..
I'm American, grew up on the west coast, but have been living in Berlin, Germany since the end of 98.. longest time, by far, that I've lived in one city..practically one neighbourhood.
Is your daughter attending university near you? Interesting that they have an AF wing.. Here the kids can buy beer at the age of 16. Insane. So it's perfectly normal (not at our school, thank god) for the kids, who are usually done around 2pm, to hang out in FRONT of the school on the sidewalk, or in the park next door, and drink half-liter bottles of 5% beer. I don't know. I guess we had fake ID's and bought it and drank anyway.. but it seems so strange to have it considered "normal" at such a young age. F****** up, it is. IMO.

J-vo, I would also like to take back those years. I didn't do well in school either.. I somehow passed, but I sure didn't learn anything. It was just such a waste of time. But I'm beginning to regret it less, beginning to see more, the big picture. It has helped me lately to take on a more Buddhist point of view and to think of life as beginning before birth and going on beyond death. It makes sense to me that that could be a major reason, that although we are all humans, we travel such different paths, have such different life experiences. Not just with addiction, but with everything...in a lot of ways, at the age of 46, I feel like I'm FINALLY getting it with this struggle, this thing I've had on my back for 32 years.. but to someone else, I'm sure it looks like I've had an easy life.. I don't know. I just want to keep trying my hardest and I do believe there must be some purpose to it all. Hopefully!!

How is everyone else doing today? Any exciting plans for the weekend?
Tomorrow is the first Advent and the Germans make a huge deal out of it.. always a beautiful wreath on the table, usually made by the kids in the school or at a market, and then one of four candles is lit.. next Sunday, 2, the next 3, and on the last all 4. It's a time for Christmas markets and lots of afternoon meetings of coffee/tea and cookies. This time of the year, I have to say, it is nice to have the cold weather. It's a bit easier for me to get in the mood for Christmas here than it was in Arizona's desert!

[j-vo]

LC, what brought you to Germany? I think you probably mentioned it before, but I can't remember. Would you ever consider moving back to the states? Being able to purchase al at the age of 16??? They're just babies. Unbelievable and scary. So the drinking age is 16... I wonder if there are studies of drinking at 16 and how it compares to age 21 and if there are more accidents, alcoholism, and and earlier death. I'm sure there are studies out there, but I guess it still blows my mind that a 16 year old can buy alcohol.

[lifechange]

Yeah, J-vo, it's strange for me, too. Wine and spirits at 18, along with cigarettes.. Beer at 16, cigarettes at 18..? crazy. Though, here they think (and I'd probably have to agree) that it's strange that in the States, we can send our kids to war at 18 but they can't buy alcohol until 21..? It's all messed up. I moved to Germany to be with the father of my kids (at the time my BF, now my ex) and have stayed mostly because I didn't want the girls to grow up away from their dad. I also really like this city for raising kids.. as far as a city goes, that is. I would like to move back at some point.. to live near my family again for awhile when my parents are older.. but then my dream would be to settle down somewhere close to where my kids decide to raise their families.. to be a grandma like Lav! and like my mom has been able to be with my sister's kids. It's been difficult living so far away from them!
How'd the game turn out yesterday? And the decorating? Any nice plans for the weekend?

[lifechange]

Just noticed it's 11pm here.. I'm about to turn into a pumpkin!!
Night Gloamers..

[j-vo]

I always thought the same. I would love to be a grandma who is actively involved in my grandkids lives.

How often do you get home? Have your parents had a chance to visit Germany?

This may be silly, but do your girls have a German accent? Are they curious about where you grew up? Did they have an opportunity to visit the states? So man questions!!!! Do you think they'll live in Germany forever or want to move to the states? Any questions you don't want to answer, please just say "shut up j-vo." I can be annoying sometimes, but I'm just curious. I just looked up Aukland, NZ to see what time it is there. So little things like that interest me! And it's summertime in NZ and the high is only going to be 61.

Choices and TT, is it always cool in NZ? What is the average temp? Do you have four seasons? I guess I could look all of that up, but since I have NZ friends, I'd love to hear it first hand. If I'm not mistaken, Kuya is from NZ?

[j-vo]

I love hearing about other cultures. Thanks TT!

[scottish lass]

Hi - sorry I missed yesterday! Had a great few days..
Thursday was lovely, quiet and peaceful. Had our turkey which was great, watched Top Gun with the girls. Started with a 5K walk - girls wouldn't run it.
Yesterday headed east and spent day at the coast - went to one beach to see the monarch butterflies that are on their migration - there are three places where they gather here, and there were lots! Then had leftover turkey sandwiches on the beach - saw dolphins, a sea-lion, whale spouts in the ocean and lots of pelicans. We then went to a nearby beach town we like, got some ice-cream and did some window shopping. Pizza slices for supper then headed home.
Today went west to the foothills to a local craft fair - it is Small Business Saturday, and we love this fair - girls got jewelry, one managed to pick up a Christmas gift for the other (and I think we managed to keep it a surprise) - I got some lovely pottery.
The three of us have had a lovely three days and I am happy!

I will read back tomorrow and chat a bit more - left over turkey noodle soup for supper tonight!

[Choices]

Hellooooo everyone. And I'm back from my retreat... And still AF. I've never been on a retreat and didn't realize how intense it was going to get. The yoga, and the tramping were both at 7 am and a pretty small part of the whole thing, which was not what I expected but fine... Mostly it was a mum camp that had guest speakers and mostly everything revolved around their theories and how to love ourselves as moms etc. lots of talking ... And camp type stuff like singing, dancing and games... Some of this was a bit hard to warm up to... But I guess it's one of those types of situations where you take what you like and leave the rest. Overall it was a valuable experience. There were about 5 pregnant women, and 4 women with young babies.. Most of the women were my age which was strange and nice.. I am usually the oldest mom around women who have children my daughters age so that was cool. Alcohol was pretty much a non issue. What kind of worked in my favor was alcohol wasn't allowed at the school camp... But the facilitator said they could have wine in a non obvious way.. So it was served in pitchers.. Where people could help them self etc.. And we would just call it 'juice'. So, there were also apple and cranberry juice served. Non of the women I was talking with had any.. And there weren't wine glasses so I guess, I liked that it was discrete and not in my face. They had quite a bit left over... So the next night they came up with a 'special drink' for everyone.. That was really pretty with frozen flowers in it ... A fancy kind of sangria type thing. They had alcohol free ones for the pregnant ladies.. But we're calling the drink 'special drink, or special, special drink'. All of this was just to be having a bit of fun but I was concerned when a drink was handed to me and it was called 'special'... I smelled it and didn't smell anything, but just didn't even want it in my hand.. It was a bit awkward because I was in the first row and the speaker was about to start again... But I stood up and went up to one of the women running it and asked, 'So, I can't tell, does my drink have alcohol in it or not? I'd like the non alcoholic version if that's alright please." She had a big smile (probably thinking I was pregnant) and just said, your one does have alcohol in it, and handed me one that didn't. No problem. I felt confident with the whole thing.. And the weekend was a women supportive group understanding, your own decisions and strength type situation,,, so it really felt just as if I was saying no to something I was allergic to. Non of my roommates had bottles of wine, I never even saw a bottle of anything. If anyone was drinking they were being pretty discreet. So that was all good for me. I'm glad I went.

[j-vo]

SL, your weekend sounded just perfect!

Choices, glad you had a good time. And glad you are/were AF! Good thing you checked the 'special' drink! I'm sure you're relieved a bit, but also got a lot out of it. Sounds like a great experience.