Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[scottish lass]

Day full of busy people - I am stopping by from my office too and had a quick read back - all good here....
Pav! You Rock - happy anni eve!

[j-vo]

Hope everyone had a good day. Well, at least I kept myself calm part of the day! But I did have fun with the kids. Oh my, do I really get silly with them. Gotta get through it any way I can! We were singing an acronym - they have to remember to include some things in their essay, so we started singing and using things from band that I remembered. staccatos, crescendos, decrescendos, then I was getting confused with the crescendo vs. the less than greater than sign and they just loved it. They were completely laughing AT ME. I was laughing with me! Silliness. I warned them that whatever happens in this classroom stays in the classroom. Off to the first big basketball meeting! Don't have to speak at this like last year as I'm not in charge of anything!!!!!!

[little beagle]

J-vo glad your day was good.
Congratulations Pav. 2 years. I always think about the Thanksgiving Massacre this time of year.
It was frustrating seeing everyone tasting my Aunt's homemade wine, saying how delicious it was. And the explaining why I wasn't able to have any. But I am glad I didn't and I know she understood. One of my closest memories is how bad my drinking really was.
I like my new life. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Being on this side of drinking makes me really see how many people struggle with alcohol. I saw several over the holiday. I wish I could say some magic words to help them stop and realize the freedom that comes from not drinking. But it's a personal struggle for each of us.
TT Christmas in summer sounds fun. Having a summer holiday like that. Well, I'm kind of envious.
I'm glad your retreat was great Choices. The special special drink thing made me laugh a bit. Glad you ask so you weren't blindsided into drinking. LC hope you get that decision made.
Jane, fingers crossed for your rental. Red is adorable.
I have a cold. Caught in the Oklahoma ice storm. Yay! But I'll take a cold over a hangover anytime.

[narilly]

Pav, 2 years!!! Wowza! Good thing you don't drink eh?
Pav, like lil B, I totally remember the Thanksgiving massacre. We talked about that a lot. You have been through so much and have done so well. So many times you have stepped up to the plate to help me and so many others maintain their sobriety. You have helped me a ton.
Way to go sweet Pavarati. <3

Hello Choices, jvo, TT, Kuya, SL. Good luck with tenants Jane. Hello El! Hope your day is going better.

Have a great sober night everyone.

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Thanks for the love. I'll be back to celebrate properly tomorrow. I also am living a FULL and sober life.

J-Vo - sorry about your mom and stress.

Jane - that picture is priceless.

xo
Pav

[treetops]

Congratulations Pav. I am a day ahead so I had to get the party started.

hi there everyone else. Bit worried about the dog Jane - he definitely has personality plus!

Choices - good luck withe the party. Do you have a theme?

Its been quite a day. Mr GB disturbed a bee hive and the garden was full of the bee swarm but fortunately they were nice wee honey bees. We got a bee keeper around but the swarm had gone.
Mr GB also spilt coffee on our new carpet last night and didn't wipe it up or tell me - so a stain already.
Daughter back from hiking and so much cleaning and washing to do. In-between this I tried to do some work of my own and thats the plan for the rest of the evening. I will have my late night treat of an episode of Breaking Bad.

[jane27]

Congrats Pav! Your constancy and down to earth personality have been a great source of support for me. Im grateful to have you as a friend, team mate & role model. xoxo

[j-vo]

Happy 2 years PAV!!! You're such an inspiration! Thank you for all of your thoughtful posts over the last few years. Youre one heck of a lady and a great role model!:welldone:

[Guitarista]

Congratulations Pavi! Super stuff. :celebrate:

[Choices]

Congrats Pav! I am really happy to be getting to know you better. Your posts are always helpful and upbeat even when they talk about serious not so up beat issues.

Beagle, your post just helped me a ton. I've spent most the day decorating the house for Christmas and summer to have the house looking nice for our party on Saturday (the theme is Max and Ruby TT ). And I was just beat at the end of the day.. I have been really enjoying my decision to get back on the wagon...feeling the warm fuzzy... Having a sober rock'n day.. And suggested we get fish and chips and eat at the beach to hubs.. We are back to getting along, to being peas and carrots.., all is good.. Blah, blah.., it's a bit too windy to have dinner at the beach so we decide to eat Thai in the village. We went to Thailand for our honeymoon (we were both AF for the whole thing). Good memories. My daughter is being reasonably good in the restaurant. My husband asks if it would bother me if he has a beer... I say 'no' and totally mean it.. I'm happy he's asked instead of wanting one but being afraid to. The beer arrives.. And it looked very appealing. My thoughts drift to that devil on the shoulder. I'm in control though, and stayed there. It wasn't a white knuckle kind of thing.. But I'm posting about it anyway. The dinner is lovely, we never really go out to eat anymore so this is really nice. Thinking about it we haven't been out since I quit drinking...A while later, Hubs asks if I mind if he has another one. I say I don't have a problem with it. And my...I guess craving? Not sure what I was experiencing (and it was definitely manageable)... Seams to ease. Maybe because I'm not hungry anymore? Not sure.

I noticed when I for a second.,, wanted a sip of this beer.. I was tunnel vision thinking of myself and my daughter was being kind of annoying. But I looked at her and remembered a lot about why I can't drink, why I don't drink. How stupid it would be.. Etc. And I look at her tiny little face and hands. On the way home we passed the liquor store that is our local and hubs jokes and says.. Should we get a six pack and some bottles of wine? He is kidding, and nothing about it feels malus. And it hits me... This could have been any normal night when I was drinking. Going out for a bite.. Drinking not on my mind... But getting to the restaurant.. And then thinking why not? Having one or two and sharing a good convo with hubs while he has one or two. Only.. He is done after this two... But I would be lit and wanting that feeling to last.. So trying all the way home (literally 5 min) to not want more.. Seeing the liquor store., and suggesting we get more. Hubs usually would say no, he's good.., but I'd push. He either would or wouldn't get a six pack.. But I would get a bottle of wine. If he got the six pack he would open one.. And probably not finish it.. I would for sure finish my bottle of wine... Either while we watch tv together or when he goes to bed. And once that's done I'd just be enjoying my buzz so much I wouldn't want it to end, finish the beer my husband didn't drink and maybe have another one or two to relax.. Then go to bed or just waste a TON of time on Facebook. Maybe embarrassing myself with some harmless posts.. But ones I wouldn't do sober. Wake up the next morning with varying degrees of withdraw. Pulling myself together and trying not to beat myself up for accidentally drinking too much AGAIN.

Now I'm feeling great that I didn't drink. And I'm glad I just posted I feel better. I'll feel even better tomorrow morning.

[Choices]

Just another little thought... I am really enjoying not going into liquor stores. What a pain. And not wasting my money on something I have absolutely nothing to show for except for weight gain.

[j-vo]

Right now, I'm not doing well emotionally. We had "Schools to Watch" people here all day, in and out of our classrooms, watching us for at least 20 minutes at a time, then I had to be intereviewed for some things i was doing for the kids. Did I tell you I hate the word "interview" and freak out when I hear that word? Well, like always, it stressed me out, I got blotchy, and now I've used entirely too much energy on something that's no big deal. I feel extremely tired and stressed, down on myself, and yucky. If I were drinking, this would, no doubt, be a night Iwould stop for wine. Instead, I'm going for an Nutritional Response Therapy session and Chiropractice Appt. I guess the disappointment in myself makes me down, although I have come a long way with expressing what I do in meetings. This one just caught me off guard, and I was angry and axious. I hate myself when I feel this way. It makes me feel like so insignificant and stupid. Ok. Have to go. Sorry.

TT, btw, breaking bad, my all time favorite show. Never could dislike Walt.

[lifechange]

Hi Gloamers,
oh, J-vo, I don't know Schools to watch.. but what a nightmare to have people watching you teach and then to be "interviewed". I HATE interviews and, like you described, often end up feeling anxious or stupid. I freeze, like a deer in the headlights.. even if I've had a chance to prepare. THANK god you aren't drinking and didn't stop off for a bottle.. that definitely wouldn't help matters. What is Nutritional Response Therapy? After this sort of an event do you usually feel better the next day or does it take more time? Usually it helps me to think about the fact that I do a GOOD job on a daily basis.., I know you do, too and that's what really counts..:hug:

Pav!!! Congratulations on 2 years! I was a day ahead of myself, so I've had the pleasure of celebrating 2 days.. one for each year, not bad..! I hope you're having a good day.

SL, I wanted to comment days ago on how lovely the days off with your girls sounded. I'm so happy for you that you were able to make so much of the time with them.. a wonderful time. Hope you're back to being used to the 530 alarm.. mine is set for 5 tomorrow! I find, though, that I really need the bit of time on my own for coffee, reading here, a bit of meditation or yoga.. it's much less stressful than if I get up at 6 and don't have those things..

Choices, so glad you had a nice time at the retreat.. great job last night at playing it through to the end. My kids are in my mind now any time I feel like I might want to drink. It hasn't happened often, thank goodness, but when it has I think of their disappointment because I'm tired. Endlessly tired, I stink, I'm impatient, I neglect them and their needs, I forget conversations, I don't listen, am basically completely self-centered. I don't want to be that person, that mother any more. I want to be responsible, someone they look up to and trust and believe in and laugh with and are proud of..
thanks for posting what happened last night.

As far as the decision I had to make goes, I did alright handling it.. though I could have done better. I wanted to act with love in my heart and I didn't quite manage. I freaked out a bit, was angry and acted in that frame of mind, causing some pain to my friend because I wanted him to know how I was feeling. Of course I felt terrible afterwards. As I knew I would. We have more or less worked it out...I can see I've made progress in the past year with communication, but damn, I sure have a long way to go. At least I am catching it immediately when I act out of negative feelings, realizing that I hurt myself as much as anyone else.
work in progress!!

[narilly]

Life, you sure are thinking things out. That is good. Relationships are always a work in progress. It is amazing what kinds of emotions can rear their ugly head when dealing with a partner/friend.My husband and I used to have really big scraps when I was drinking, he drank so much more when I drank. It got quite ugly sometimes. Glad that is over.

Choices, maybe next time ask hubby not to drink beer...just a suggestion until the niggly thoughts are gone. It just makes it easier. I am sure glad you didn't drink though.

JVo- Schools to watch? What? That is nuts, I would not like that. Teaching is hard enough.

Hey Pav, I think we cross posted last night...go back and read my post! I love you Girl and am so proud of your 2 years. Yip YIP YIPPEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

[Pavati]

You all are the most, to say the least.

I am grateful and proud to be here with you.

Now to celebrate I will torture myself with homework and a middle schooler.

xoxoxoxox
Pav