Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[Choices]

Happy Birthday LC!

[j-vo]

Hi All,

I've been reading the 3 p's thread, NS and LB, and it kind of confuses me with all the reading and different youtube videos that are recommended. I almost feel like you're saying it's not something you have to learn or practice, it's just something you discover. I'll be looking into it more post-basketball and holidays, because if it's as easy as you all claim, then I would be silly not to check it out.

And I came home today from work angry that I feel as tired as I do everyday after work. I know. A great 3 p's topic? What I'm angry about is that I feel drained. The kids drain me. Have they always? I don't know. Is it my age? Is it the additional responsibilities of this new Common Core Crap? Who knows. Is it a combo of things that are just swirling around in my head and taking my energy? I've been feeling like I use all of the energy for the day in the first hour at work. Yes, this group is full of behavior problems. But I'm a veteran and I know that I can do it. It's just going through the daily challenges that seem to wear me down. I don't want to let this build up inside of me. I did, as I almost always do, take a nap. Then I sit and read for a bit, then got on treadmill. I feel ok now. Sorry to bore you all! Just some things on my mind.

[NoSugar]

That would be a very good 3Ps topic, J-vo. And you're right, there is really nothing to do - it is just an understanding of how your brain works and given that, how you can avoid thinking/feeling like you do right now - it's an understanding that your experience of the world comes entirely from within you, not from the outside world, even when it feels like it does. I'm glad you're not gonna let this get you down, though!

Nar, I'm getting excited about your dog :smile:. What a fun holiday this will be with him underfoot!

Good to see you here, Choices :hug:. You can get your thinking back to where it was - I know you're still on this mission. xx

[jane27]

Happy birthday from me too LC!

Little melancholy tonight regarding my relationship with my Mom. She turned 78 last month. She's so angry and bitter at life. I believe she's mean to me these days intentionally. She's mad as hell that I'm 45 and she's 78. She doesn't come right out and say it, but its clear. She plans to wind down her life by trying to make me pay for everything she regrets- and maybe its for no other reason than the fact that she doesn't talk to anyone else except for people like her doormen, or when she orders groceries or goes to the hairdresser. Logically, that should make it hurt less (but I only thought about the fact of it just now). Sorry to be a downer. I've had the farthest thing from a normal, contiguous or healthy relationship with her- for the majority of my 45 years. It doesn't compute that my feelings should be so bound up with her. Anyway, glad I got that out. Trying to work my way out of what has been a months long rut. Love to all

[treetops]

Hi there Jane
That must be hard for you. I dont want to judge your Mum but I really hope I dont get like this when I get old (well I won't have a doorman!). I want to be able to celebrate being in my late seventies (I dont mean celebrating with parties or anything like that cos its not my style) and that I have a daughter who would be in her mid-thirties by then. Regardless of the regrets your Mum has and any pain/medications she is on - its a pity she cant be happy and glad to have you as a daughter. Its crap getting old but hey thats life - and each phase has its challenges. I watched a doco recently about elderly women dressing outrageously and doing amazing things in New York- of course we are not all like this but it did bring a chuckle to me. The next week I purchased a funky dress that my sensible side said no to (partly because I didn't want to spend the money) , and my fun side said yes! And by golly has it attracted some great comments. Hope thats a wee distraction!

J-Vo - teaching is far far more draining than many understand and from what I know teachers are under a lot of pressures in the US these days. I think one of the factors also is that many go into the profession with a sense of wanting to teach, enjoying it a lot - but then all the other demands creep up - and the pay is not so great. Its a very undervalued career these days - so my empathy to you.

Happy Birthday LC.

Glad to see you doing well Choices and of course, same to all others. Have a great weekend and dont stress about the fact that Christmas is just a round the corner (eekk!!!!!).

[little beagle]

I'm going to add my birthday wishes LC. I did my hair red.

[little beagle]

Will post later. Losing internet

[lifechange]

Me, too! With posting later.
Just wanted to let you all know how important you are to me.
I'm so grateful that we each have the chance to find our own ways, but together. I'm not quite sure how I would do it without your support. Just knowing you're there. That you understand. I hope that, more and more, as I grow stronger in my sobriety, I'll be able to give back..
You are all very much in my thoughts and in my heart!

[jane27]

Hi there Jane
That must be hard for you. I dont want to judge your Mum but I really hope I dont get like this when I get old (well I won't have a doorman!). I want to be able to celebrate being in my late seventies (I dont mean celebrating with parties or anything like that cos its not my style) and that I have a daughter who would be in her mid-thirties by then. Regardless of the regrets your Mum has and any pain/medications she is on - its a pity she cant be happy and glad to have you as a daughter. Its crap getting old but hey thats life - and each phase has its challenges. I watched a doco recently about elderly women dressing outrageously and doing amazing things in New York- of course we are not all like this but it did bring a chuckle to me. The next week I purchased a funky dress that my sensible side said no to (partly because I didn't want to spend the money) , and my fun side said yes! And by golly has it attracted some great comments. Hope thats a wee distraction!

Hi TT, Thank you for this thoughtful post & I'm glad your fun side won Its amazing how one small thing like this can bring such positive stuff. No way you're going to be a grump in your 70's (You've got too much going for you), but I know what you mean when you say, "I hope I don't get like this...." . I worry about that too; Nearly every time I pass judgment on a person for being this, that or the other thing- time goes by and I find myself doing or feeling the same thing I was being critical about. She's mad and bitter because her life hasn't satisfied her, and she's imprisoned by her own character traits. I'm not sure how to make peace with the situation. NS has suggested I check out the 3 P's (thank you NS!), and I think I will. Your husband is lucky to have you. You're an excellent listener and I appreciate your kindness & sympathy.

Lil, I'll bet you look ravishing with your red hair...

Started watching The Affair. Its no comedy but there is something about the show that I find intriguing.

Wishing everyone a peaceful MAE. xoxo

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Happy Birthday, LC! The feeling is mutual.

Jane - sorry about your mom. My only words sound trite, but I have found them to be true - you can only control your own actions and your reactions to others. You can't control your mom. It must hurt to be treated like that, but she is not you. You have gotten love and compassion from other places in your life - and you will continue to do so. I am a believer in the general goodness of humans, so when one behaves like that I think that something happened to him or her that caused her to be that way. An illness, a trauma - something. You are strong to have become the person you are in spite of her!

Sorry, too, J-Vo. I appreciate that you at least got on the treadmill. Sorry your job is bringing you down. Any relief in sight? A change of sites? A new grade level? Anything that would inspire you?

Off to bed. Un hung, though making more mucus than I thought possible. Grateful for that first part.

xo
Pav

[treetops]

Jane - I watched the Affair on a flight last year to Europe. I think what I found intriguing (!!!) was the lead male actor even if he was a creep at times. Its engrossing because it is shown via POV (point of view) and if you watch closely you will see how they remember the same thing in different (often quite subtle) ways. This might be what someone was wearing or how they moved across a room. Its not a new technique and its often used in novels, but its interesting to see it in a mini-series. I also liked the setting in Montauk (I have never been there) and how the locals and the visitors regard each other. Thats often the case in holiday towns - where the local folk live and have rich histories.
Pav- I am squirting you with a mucus - thinner. As if there were such a thing. Its hayfever tonight for this lady.

[Choices]

Hi Everyone,
Red sounds like a fun color LB, I just started getting highlights. I didn't have a lot of gray but enough. I'd always thought I'd never dye my hair and let it just go white. Embracing every gray.. until I saw to many and how kinky my hair was getting. It is fun changing my look I have to admit. I was even thinking of getting my ear double pierced. I love the idea of rockin' out to my age. Even more so as I age. I've tried doing this with my weight gain as well.. I gained a ton of weight with my daughter.. lost some of it.. then when I drank again gained it all back and then some... But I love going to the beach and I just get a really cute swim dress kind of thing and wear a huge hat. I splurged on a swimming cap that looks like the 1950's... And wear bright red lipstick. It's not like I can hide being bigger,,,, so may as well.. dress it up. I feel thin. Because I've always been thin I think. When I see photos of me... it's so strange.. I look like a "before" photo.. but I don't feel that way.

Jane, I've been having not so good conversations with my mom since I was pregnant. It's been tough. She is going to be 70 in June. And has sounded really bitter and depressed. She was married to my Dad for 20 some years and they divorced when I was in my early 20's. They hate each other with a passion. Mom remarried a few years later and that lasted around 12 years but just got divorced about a year ago. The whole separation started when I was pregnant. And it was painful listening to her talk about life. She is just starting to sound more positive... She never really said hurtful things to me in the past, or if she did I was unaware of the subtle effect. But now she can come up with some real stingers. Especially if I'm upset about how my daughter is acting. I'm looking for wisdom.. but don't tell her much anymore because she is so bitter and negative. And will usually just say how horrible I was as a child, how her life was so hard. Kinda how she hated being married and having children.. I'll feel sick afterward. She has been my rock my entire life. But life just got on top of her I guess. Major depression. And she is totally against any kind of medication. I also don't want to end up a bitter old scared lady. I did have a really good conversation with her today and told her all about my drinking saga as of late. She was really supportive. And it felt really, really good. Being a mom now I understand her humanness so much better. Especially when I mess up big time.

[j-vo]

Happy Friday All,

NS, that does sound like something that would benefit me, or I should say everyone.

As far as my job/career...

It's hard during the day when there's so much activity coming AT me and I have to say, it does. I hear my name being called a thousdand times a minute and kids coming up to me, or kids not doing what they need to do...but it's ALL part of the job, the job that I took on years ago. There are so many good things also. I love the planning and teaching, but no, I don't like the assessments that get more attention that we can give to our needy kids. Changes for me? No, and if I did, it would be more of the same as I'm a Langauge Arts teacher and it's the same in all the grades. We are accountable and even responsible for the scores on the state testing - well, Math and English. So when we get bad scores, it hurts all teachers evaluations and ours even more - they go by percentages, and I won't get into that. Our scores aren't always great, as almost 75% of our kids are either free or reduced lunch, and it's a poor district. So it makes it more challenging. Enough of that boring crap.

Today is fine and I'm having a hot-cholocate lunch with one of my kids that needs that "extra" attention.

LB, red hot!

Choices, love the image of you on the beach.

LC, hugs!

Jane, :hug:

Tonight is a basketball game, so I'll check in tomorrow.

[Choices]

Jvo your job sounds intense! TT told me in another thread.. 'your not superwoman' it really helped. I think the more I do the more I feel like I don't do enough! I am really grateful to teachers. I was thinking of going back to uni to get a teaching degree enabling me to teach art at the high school level here in NZ,,,, but when I heard about the program and learned more about the job.. And the training, all of it.. I shied away quite quickly. It takes a special person to do what you do.

I'm feeling a bit stink today. Physically. Just really tired. But a few cups of coffee should help. I'm not being hard on myself about how much I drink of that for a few days... that's for sure! I did some minimal running around yesterday doing odd bits and bobs to finish up Christmas shopping etc.. And had to go to the laundry mat because my girl had an accident on my duvet. I love the laundry mat. I know that sounds strange. But I like the hum of it and how clam it is in there. I swear my next series of artwork is going to be related to laundry. This is the one household task that I really don't mind doing. I love fabric, textiles.

Have you gotten a chance to do much more sewing LB?

[j-vo]

Morning Gloamers,

Up early for a Saturday. Going to meet a girlfriend for breakfast then visit MIL in hospital. So, when drinking, would this happen? Maybe, but it wouldn't be an early Saturday breakfast! I would probably never agree to it, and pushed for a late lunch, early dinner to ensure drinks could be involved.

Choices, hope you're feeling better!

Have a good unhung Saturday!