Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[jane27]

Jvo,

It is on Showtime which we now subscribe to as a Streaming App. (We canceled cable about a year ago but watch tv more than ever via Amazon, Hulu, Netflix, HboGo and ShowtimeAnytime). Hope your day has been better today! I wonder if the school could/would actually suspend a coach for the season? Probably not right? Unless it was something illegal like drugs. I know there was a highschool football team here in Jerz that got in trouble for steroid use last year.

Nar, Let me know if you want me to post a picture of Elvis the Christmas Puppy King Sweetie Pie.

[j-vo]

Thanks Jane. I think we have showtime so after House of Cards, I may look into that. I already googled it and it looks like a good show.

The coach that I'd talked about yesterday - his suspension was lifted, and all is good. Son came home very upbeat and I was happy to see that. Tomorrow's a big game, so I hope the boys have a better night than they did on Tuesday night after they were called in and questions individually by athletic director.

A lazy day in the j-vo home today. Did everything I wanted to do, which was nothing!

Hope all is well with Elvis, Nar!

[j-vo]

What's up SL?

[little beagle]

I'm so glad to be unhung. Hubby felt like s€#t today. I felt bad, but not that bad. It'll only get better when he does something about it. I'm talking to him a bit about the 3PS.
Its good to hear from you Jane. Hope your new meds help.
TT (hugs).
J-vo a mental health day sounds wonderful. Glad you enjoyed it. And son's coach is back too.
Today was crazy old lady day. She's wonderful, but can drive me crazy too. At one point I had to stop workingvand go check to see if she was actually talking to someone. She talks nonstop. Ususlly to herself, but it sounded like she was getting answers so I wasn't sure for a minute if there was a real person on the other side of the conversation or if she was hearing what she wanted to. She was on the phone.

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

I posted my big thoughts in the NN today, too:

I have a lot of stress in my life right now, some of it from good things, some of it from harder things. I was listening to the Bubble Hour today and they were talking about reaching out to your community whether or not you thought you "needed" it. One woman said looking back she can see her relapse (after 5 years sober) coming for a year and a half before she actually drank. Instead of reaching out she thought "I KNOW what they're going to say, I'll just say it to myself." That is why I stay connected here, and tell you all that I feel stressed and anxious. Time of year, work stuff (good and bad), kids (good and bad), darkness, family stuff (good and bad) - so many reasons why. I keep telling myself that I can handle it, but just in case, I'm letting you all know. Getting relief from just typing it out. Phew. I feel better already.

I see that a lot of people are stressed as well. Glad we're all checking in here. Hope your day off was relaxing, J-Vo.

I'm off to bed early tonight.

Hi LB and SL - Hope you're both ok.

Pav

[little beagle]

X-post Pav. Yeah I'm worn a bit thin. So tired today after work I started to get a migraine. But I took a nap.

[NoSugar]

Hang in there, LB, and remember to take care of YOU :hug:. I tried to talk to my daughter (a counselor) about the 3Ps but she thinks I'm talking about CBT. I guess people need to be interested in exploring it for themselves. Is Mr B becoming interested?

You make a good point, Pav. I spent most of my life saying (and believing) I could handle everything on my own. Thanks for the reminder that people need people. I'm glad so many have stayed here.

J, you've modeled a good thing, too - sometimes we need to give ourselves a break and let go of all the "shoulds".

xx, NS

[jane27]

Pav, I'm really glad you checked in. I'm big into fearing the big, bad, wolf (AL). It's served me well so far. I also can't think of one case where a person fell off the wagon while sticking to their usual routine- staying connected to your support network - hell, even if it's just going through the motions. If we stick to what we know, and mimic any of our experiences from our sober time, we'll land on our feet. Hugs to all my Gloamers.

[j-vo]

LB, glad you're staying focused on yourself. :hug: I plan on reading more on the 3p's after basketball season. It seems to be clicking with a lot of people. I've read and watched a bit, but I know there's so much more I can absorb and benefit by it.

Pav, you're right with connecting to this site, especially when we're feeling overwhelmed. Just like Ava has with her difficulties this week. Staying connected, expressing your thoughts, accepting support is everything we should do as we continue to recover. Will you have the Xmas week off?

I hope you all have a great day.

[jane27]

Wishing you a great day too Jvo. Anybody have special plans over the weekend? A1 got into a car accident last night. No one hurt thankfully but both cars pretty messed up. He thinks it was the other guys fault, but we haven't seen the police report yet. Glad its Friday

[Choices]

I thought it seamed like CBT to me a bit.. but I haven't spent nearly enough time exploring it to make any kind of call.. And i think CBT is helpful in the first place... I'm happy to hear of the mental health days being taken. I'm hanging in there just trying to do less and less.. It really isn't my style, well, that's not entirely true.. Sometimes I get stuck in a rut of doing nothing.. mostly because I'm depressed and can't get out of bed.. I guess I always fear a dark period of time coming on..

Not that I could do that with a young child in the house. But my depression manifests itself as rage, anger if I can't lay down... So yesterday afternoon was a bit rough.. Because I had a stubborn, tired kido I had to take care of.. I was doing a lot of deep breathing.. going outside.. No yelling, one, I just don't want to parent like that, (I grew up in a house of screaming and was yelled at a ton!) And two, because if I do.. I can't handle the guilt!

I couldn't wait until hubs got home so we could double parent. His boss had given him a big hamper of treats, snacks.. the works.. and a bottle of wine. I saw the bottle and felt really angry at my husband. But knowing my frame of mind, just finished cooking dinner.. and then told him firmly, I don't want that wine in the house. (it was peeking from behind all the other goodies).. He just said, Oh, I'll put it in the boot. (Car trunk) I actually was trying not to even look at it, not see what type of wine it was... etc..

He proudly pulled it up to say how nice a bottle it was.. He was intending on giving it to his sister and was just remarking how much she would like it etc.. and he was probably feeling good that his boss was showing her appreciation for him.. etc.. but I just really rudely said "yeah, yeah great!" "I'm super edgy, I'd love a glass, could you just get rid of it?" He turned on his heal and was out at the car for a while.. (I think hiding it thank goodness!!) When he came back, just put his hand on my shoulder and said what I made for dinner looked amazing. Huge steps for us really, that this didn't turn into me screaming at him. And that we didn't fight. It's really tough not to get co-dependent with each other so I'm glad we are not doing it. I wanted to just say, "your so mean!!!" But I wasn't on his mind with the whole thing. He doesn't know how much I think about alcohol...

I woke up at 5 am after a terrible drinking nightmare and was sweating.. I'm really glad I'm back on track and heading forward in this last quit. I have to admit... I am jealous of the people I started with and how much farther along in days you guys are! Proud of you all. I'll just look at is as a positive to stay on course. Knowing what I know now.. We are off for a night away tonight.. up north. The fresh air and getting out of the city is going to be great!

[Choices]

Sorry about your accident Jane! Glad no one was hurt.

[narilly]

Jane, thank goodness no one was hurt. I am always worried about my kids getting into an accident. So many kids were in accidents when I was growing up. Including me and it was terrible.

Choices, good that you got hubby to take the bottle out. That is so hard especially when you are feeling angry or weak. Sometimes just seeing that bottle of wine can be such a trigger. Holidays are the hardest time in that regard. A couple of Christmases ago I was new to sobriety and caved during Christmas and it took me until April to really quit. I don't want to do that again.

Hi Pav, Glad you are checking in. I know it really helps to keep us sober. I have to make sure I keep checking in or else I forget I have a problem! I don't drink but it would be so easy to slip if I did not keep my sobriety front and center. I need to remember I cannot drink again. I also think I need to 'pay forward' and give encouragement and support to others. The only way to stay sober for me is to stay part of a community.

JVo, glad things are better with Coach!
Jane, I watched The Affair on HBO. It is SO good! Now I am watching The second season of The Knick which is really good because it is about addiction. Its interesting because the doctor things addiction is a sickness and the 'members of the board' think it is a weakness in an individual. Very interesting stuff. I am also watching In Treatment, which is good so far.

I better go, I am at work.
Bye bye!

[jane27]

Thanks Choices. Sounds like you're doing a good job keeping watch on where your mood goes. I think that's really important and also why doing as little as possible can be your friend (there's still plenty of stress, emotion and anxiety to deal with). I did exactly what you are doing - I broke it down, I came here to talk about it, and that seemed to help me process the emotions which may as well have been ghosts. (Years of operating through the haze of drunk made a lot of feelings difficult for me to recognize). Talking and writing is sooooo friggin helpful. It acknowledges that events happened (I'm talking more about the rollercoaster of feelings- irrespective of the what/when/why causing them), and gives you something to come back to. I think it helps you build a new knowledge base, 'this is how things make me feel', and over time you build up experiences and outcomes so that it doesn't feel AS overwhelming when you get upset over whatever because you can think back to when it happened before, fast forward to how the story ended, and feel relieved that the angst passed. I guess its like conditioning our sober minds not to be scared that they sky is going to fall if we stay in the middle of it, instead of reaching for Alcohol.

Cross post...thanks Nar. Bummer is that A1 had a final today, so he and hubs went to rent a car for him first thing this am. Our insurance wont cover A1 because he is only 20, so now he's driving hubs car and hubs is driving a Dodge Charger. I hate to be negative, but the chances are excellent that A1 will smack up his Dad's car and that will sting. Its so easy for me to sit back and think, 'make him go without a car- rely on his friends- make him take responsibility' which I do feel, but I know its not that simple, and I feel badly for hubs (who's definitely not thrilled about the situation).

[treetops]

Hi there and very sorry about your son's accident Jane. This is always something many parents worry about.
I hope you enjoy your weekend away Choices. Chill out!
You sound great Nar. And keep posting Pav - and others.
Well Jane I wish I could spill my guts about the awful thing hanging over me (from work) but I dare not and so I have to deal with this pretty much myself for the next few months. Its so horrible that it makes any stress from Christmas or the holidays seem tiny in comparison to me (I am not downplaying that stress for others - just saying that a shock can put things in perspective). But my family are more important than ever to me at the moment. I am also trying to be more aware and generous towards those who are deprived at this time of the year- but what I give or donate is but a drop in the bucket.
Dealing with The Thing (as I shall call my problem) is of course more doable because I am sober and feeling strong. I hope to do some nice walks over the Christmas period with my family - and also we will be on a road trip.
And yes, Mr Grumpy Bum has been really supportive. He had a few beers at home last night (which is very unusual these days) and I was totally fine about that. I was more worried about his diet than the AL content.
Stay sane and keep warm if you are in the cold places.