Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[peppersnow]

Good Morning, GLOAMERS– I woke up this morning and decided to check in - It sounds like most are doing very well and made it through the holidays in one piece! I’ve been attending meetings (formal and informal) in person through work and the community I live in, but miss MWO and the community here, especially among women. Sometimes it seems men have a way of dominating conversations without knowing they are doing it and women seem to be more in the audience. I’m old enough so that I still have to fight my upbringing which socialized me to allow that to happen, even today. Anyway, I am very appreciative that everyone’s journey needs to be validated and is important to share, but there’s something about alcoholism being stereotyped as a guy-thing that can quiet the voices of women, especially in person. So, long-story-short, I miss you all and wanted to pop in and say hi. All is good on my end and I will be coming up on 2 years AF in March. We hosted Christmas at our house (which we always do) and there were a lot of wine bottles around and several open at any one time. Purely out of habit, I thought about taking a sip a few times but it wasn’t a craving. Just reflexes associated with cooking and hosting. At one point, my husband asked me if I was annoyed by everyone drinking around me. I could honestly answer that I was not annoyed. I told him that if I could drink, I’d be drinking 24/7 and consume everything in our house, which is exactly the problem. Normal people don’t feel that way about alcohol. I’m grateful for my family but am loving my empty, quiet home today. I hope all are well and feeling good…and that 2016 is a wonderful AF year for all!

[Pavati]

Checking in on a chilly Monday morning.

Great to see you, Pepper! That's how I felt, but I guess it did annoy me after a while.

I'm off to enjoy my day off. Hope you are all stupendous.

xo
Pav

[narilly]

Good morning lovely Gloamers! Elvis is great, thank you! He is sitting here on my lap while I type and is fully supportive of my sobriety

You all are sounding good. JVo, I know how hard it is with sick parents, hang in there. So good you are not drinking. We went to a few places on Christmas Eve. We always go to my girl friend's house and as as soon as we walked in her brother handed me a glass of wine. It would have been SO easy to take a sip. It was white wine and I did think of taking a sip but did not. I quickly ran through the one sip leading to one glass and then the quick slide into Alcoholic oblivion...hangover in the morning etc. I quickly handed the glass to my husband and carried on. Whew! I loved drinking with these people but now I have to find a way to have fun without AL and I do that.

It is snowing like crazy here and snowed about a foot overnight. Elvis does Not like the cold weather. It is not much fun for me either, standing outside at -16C in my robe and slippers trying to get my puppy to go pee! Lol. I shoveled the walk today and it is so nice and fresh outside. Love the snow. It is -7C here right now which is fairly mild.

Anyway, I am glad to be sober and grateful to get through the holidays. Now I only have New Years and that should not be a problem. I am probably going to watch a movie with Elvis or something like that. My hubby will be working out of town on New Years Eve which is kind of weird.

Two years ago I started drinking during the holidays (Dec 2013) because I was not Really ready to quit. I totally remember NS 'reprimanding' me a bit afterwards and asking me 'Do you really want to quit Nar? Why did you have a glass of wine?" Ava, Pav, JVo all were there for me among others , I really needed that kick in the butt and all the other kicks I got until I quit in April 2014.

Have a great, sober day everyone.

[NoSugar]

I was hoping you'd forget who said that, Nar :wink:.
xx, NS

[treetops]

See how far we have all come! Coping with events and holidays we thought we never could have a while back.
One thing I am not coping with is very bad sunburn. Happened on our 5 hour hike. I carefully blocked my face and neck but didn't worry about my legs and forgot to wear a hat. Now have very swollen legs from the burn but they are going down. The uv rays are viscous in this part of the world so I should know better.
We stayed with family last night and it went well. No booze although I can see lots in the house. A few years back I would have made every excuse to get into some of that and probably had a secret stashing my room. No embarrassing Aunty moments now!
Catch you later and hope your post Christmas doings are going well.

[lifechange]

Hi (G)Loamers!

Just a quick accountability check in for me again.. today I feel a bit better. Like a buck o eight. When I feel physically and mentally "ill", it seems to take all my energy to stay focussed. Not to fall into a depression.. I somehow thought it wasn't going to hit me this month, even though I see it marked clear as day on my calendar!!

Peppersnow, it really good to see you.. I hope you'll spend more time here this year. I love your avatar.. hit me in the right moment.

Hugs and love to all gloamers and everyone stopping by today..
Do most of you have off work until the 4th?
What are your New Year's plans??

Nar, have we seen a picture of Elvis? Does he have a little warm coat?

[j-vo]

Afternoon,
Nice to see you Pepper! And a few more months and you'll be two years. Awesome. It's always good to hear that the longer one is away from alcohol, the mental cravings begin to diminish.

Yesterday was a bit hard emotionally. I felt like crying several times, as I see Mom struggling with things. I didn't allow myself to cry, but I know that once I get home, I'm going to have a good long one. The good thing is that I'm not thinking of alcohol, even at this emotional time.

TT, take care of that sunburn! I'm putting a high SPF on when in the sun. No, I rarely get a tan, even while I'm here in the sunshine state.

Nar, great to hear from you and Elvis! Awesome he supports you1!! He's a cutie. No bias here...Ramsay and Elvis would be great buddies.

Mom and I went shopping yesterday for a good while. Did good with the wheelchair in and out. She doesn't get tired as I wheel her around, so that's good. We had a nice time out. Later today, we'll go get a pedicure.

The weather is beautiful here. I watched the news, and doesn't look good elsewhere in the country. I know it's going to be a rude awakening on Thursday night when I return north. I hope everyone is safe and warm.

[lifechange]

:hug: to you, J-vo. So nice that you can be there with your parents right now... that you can enjoy this time with your Mother. Strength and love to you..

[Choices]

Hi everyone. Just checking in. I'm not too happy to be back in the city. I just feel the stress of the day to day coming back..., I haven't craved, thought, or wished anything but I know I need to watch these stress levels, and cope more peacefully. I guess yesterday and today I was busy being social with two different American friends who have traveled here. Yesterday was a bit full on, and today wasn't as demanding but I was in a nice cafe that my daughter was pushing every button to get me to leave. I'm not really sure what my problem is really. Just overwhelmed socializing and trying to meet my daughters needs at the same time. I felt annoyed with the women, and with my daughter. Everything felt hard. I guess I am just missing my mummy friends and more kid friendly places. I felt like a mess trying to accommodate everyone's needs, and misunderstood as a mother. The pressure is getting to me. We don't have any plans for the rest of the day... and no more social get togethers planned. There wasn't any drinking involved. Maybe I'm missing something to take off the edge. Just not feeling at ease and edgy. Not sure why. I must need a lot of down time I guess. I'm glad we are not doing anything for the rest of the day

[j-vo]

Hi Choices,
I think your unease may be the result of the holidays, all the different social situations we have to face when we really don't want to. Anytime we're faced with something we don't want, it's stressful. Life will get back to normal, and I bet you'll feel much better. When I'm away from structure or normal daily routines, I know I feel that way, too. When in my routine, I know what to expect, can plan my day, and I know what is coming, even if a kid is challenging, I expect it! So, take a deep breath!

[Choices]

Thanks Jvo, I'm feeling a bit better just had a major bitch session with my mom on the phone. My mood is one of those dangerous ones.. Re... Overwhelmed... So just leaving the house a mess and not cooking unless it changes. No alcohol in the house and no desire to get in the car either. Just going to bunker down.

[little beagle]

Good idea Choices. Hang in there and let it pass. Sometimes everything just seems to rub me the wrong way. So I know what you mean. But it does pass. A nap usually helps me. Or a nice cup of tea. Iced or hot. Depending on the weather.

[Choices]

Thanks little B, I read around a bit here and saw how I really don't want to drink.. I think I was getting rubbed the wrong way.. My husband called and asked if he could go and meet some mates for a drink and I'm actually glad to not have any pressure to make dinner at all. Not that he expects I will always make him dinner... But I pretty much always do.. Etc..

The timing of out of town visitors wasn't the best, but that's life. I'm looking forward to the next few days where I can just hang out with my girl and not have to put her in situations where she has to behave.. Well, as a three year old is fine.. But not in an environment where it's just too hard for me if that makes since. I'm so sick of everyone teaching her manners. And asking her questions she is too young to answer or understand. I mean she just barely learned how to talk. I guess she does look more and more like a little girl and not a baby but she still is really little. I feel like she is being told what to do from too many directions. I'm trying to be polite, keep her from bolting in a restaurant, or making loud noises, tantrums etc.. While holding a 'deep' adult conversation. It's actually made me feel a bit crazy. And I'm forgetting my point, or what I'm saying and apologizing for some ridiculous reason.

I probably just need to not take my daughter to a restaurant for a while. I am really glad I'm sober and not hung over maneuvering these situations.. Kinda makes me not want to be in them at all. When I was drinking I was numb to some of the stress.. And felt more relaxed. But I don't think I've been there as good as I could be for my girl.. I would kind of act like she was annoying.. Kinda makes me ill thinking about it. I don't want anyone telling her how to be. I don't even agree with things being said to her. But it's just to awkward in these situations. I'm just not going to do it anymore. I think my daughter and I will be happy about that. And I think I need to find a way to tell people to back off. I'm somehow leaving a door open to options I don't want.

[treetops]

Sorry you had to deal with the stress Choices - but dont let it derail you. Some people (and some restaurants) just cant relate to children - and its not worth putting you or her in these situations if you can help it. It doesn't ease up. My teenage daughter had to endure question after question from my well meaning family - imagine if she asked them a barrage of questions in response. Poor girl just ended up freezing up - well she tried her best to be sociable, but felt awkward and then felt she was a social misfit. I wish adults didn't try so hard with kids sometimes. So its very hard for a 3 year old especially when they are supposed to sit in a restaurant for a length of time.
As LB said - this will pass and you just have to find what helps you to chill out - of course what is possible when there is a child to care for as well.
Its great that you can spend time with your Mum J-Vo. I guess its back to work soon. I actually do holidays quite well -its the returning to the routine that stresses and tires me out!
Big hello to everyone else

[Choices]

Thanks TT,

I feel for your daughter being asked so many questions. I would imagine they were pretty personal about what she was going to do with her life etc. And I agree as an adult if someone asks me too many questions I get really uncomfortable. I would feel this way of having someone force me to say please and thank you every other word too. I felt like saying it to them.. What do you say? Why do you say it? What did you forget to say?

How does one protect their kid from this nonsense? Do you say something, leave it be? Some of this is residue I'm realizing from being around our extended family as well. It is well meaning, or just even trying to include a younger person I guess. Is it alright to say... OK.. leave her alone... I'm also being echoed by everyone.. If I tell my daughter something like, don't do that.. or whatever.. everyone jumps in and repeats it.. I feel like it turns into a gang up situation.. I wouldn't like having everyone in the room point out the same mistake I made.. I'm not sure why I'm posting about this here.. and not in my parents forum.. I think it's because they would tell me to put up my feet and have a nice glass of wine! Is this my addiction yelling. I'm ready for the day to be over I think and start a fresh one tomorrow.

Also I'm realizing I am a tender 3 weeks AF.. And at three weeks last time I was irritable so trying to be patient with myself. whew! not an easy few hours here. My girl is being really sweet.. I'm lucky. She did have a nap today, it was unavoidable.. so will be up late.. just going to hold on to cartoons for entertainment tonight I guess.