Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[treetops]

Good to see you Pauly and heres to 2016. Happy New Year again to everyone else. Day one of the new year almost half over here already!

[Guitarista]

Good to see you Pauly and heres to 2016. Happy New Year again to everyone else. Day one of the new year almost half over here already!

Getting ready for easter....

[kuya]

HAPPY NEW YEAR to you guys.

I am also in New Zealand (hi TT ) and half way through New Year's Day.

I am so looking forward to the coming year, having found three principles my life has changed beyond recognition. Myself and a small group of others are starting a discussion group this month....very excited.

I also quit smoking 9 months ago and now feel a safe distance from that.

Happiness seems to come from constant learning.

[j-vo]

LB, they "stole" your sinuses!!! Bad joke...

As I sit in the airport and wait for my flight back to BrrrLand, I'm thinking of you all. Have a happy and sober New Year. Yes, TT, G, Choices it's almost Easter for you!

[Choices]

Haha, your not wrong Jvo! Safe travels strong lady. Nice to see you Pauly and everyone else! I just woke up from a long nap.. I'm so grateful that I don't feel like crap today because of a hangover. I'm very excited for 2016 and a hangover free year. What a waste of time recovering from alcohol takes. I'm very.glad to have started going AF before this day to have some momentum.

[j-vo]

Just read that Natalie Cole passed. While reading the article, I didn't know she battled drug issues in the early 80's. I think this might have led to hepatitis C and then in 2009 she had a kidney transplant. She suffered from cardiac arrest due to her other illnesses. Sad. She was a lovely lady and talented singer. Drugs and alcohol can get anyone at anytime. I still think of the short lives of Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson, who had it all, but had nothing while struggling with substance abuse. No one is immune. Ever. Our bodies are not meant to inject poison into it. Alcohol is a drug. Just like heroine, nicotine, and caffeine. As I thought of people last night drinking, I thought, "they're taking drugs, no less."

So, on a happier note, Happy New Year's Day! Slept in very late today, emotionally tired I guess. Had a good cry last night and again this morning, and that made me feel a bit better. When my MIL asked me about mom, I started crying, then when son came home, I started. But I'm ok now. I'm letting the emotions come and go. I won't try and numb them.

Have a nice day.

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Happy New Year. I love all of the positive posts. I had a moment's pity party last night - I was feeling alone and lost and like "really? not just one drink to help me feel more festive?" I was sad, mad and confused. A quick answer always comes - really. Not one. One never felt like enough anyway. My husband was wonderful, we went out to dinner, watched some TV and got into bed just as the clock struck midnight. 9.5 hours of beautiful, un-alcohol-obstructed sleep, and I'm right as rain. One teen ager ended up being sick, and the other one spent the night at a friend's house, drinking tea and watching movies. Fairly easy as NYEs go, but I'm glad it is over.

Choices - you hit the nail on the head. Expectations lead to disappointments. This is part of my adult learning as well. I had such high expectations for everything as a kid and felt like I was disappointed a lot - turns out nearly nothing in life turns out the way I expect it to. Learning and accepting that has helped me appreciate things for how they are, and look for the good in events rather than looking for what is NOT happening. I don't want it to sound like I was always disappointed, but there were certain events that I had HIGH expectations for.

Jane - when I am feeling depressed I ache all over, too. Sitting with that feeling and knowing it will pass - even quicker without alcohol - has been an important part of the last two years. Well, the feeling went away very quickly with alcohol, but lasted a hell of a lot longer. Glad Red is there for you.

The weather here is beautiful if a little cold (not YOUR cold, Nar, but No. Cal. cold). I am looking forward to a hike today and some good dinner with my family.

Happy New Year to my gloamers. Thanks for being here.

xo
Pav

[narilly]

Happy New a Year everyone!
Thank you for the great posts. JVo, it is good you are letting your emotions come and go. Better than bottling them up. I am sure everyone understands why you are hurting.
Pav, good thing you don't drink! Sorry you were feeling a bit down, xo.

NS, the three P's is interesting so far. I am working my way through it.

Jane, thank you for your post. Wow, you are so insightful! My friend has depression and has gone on a high fat low carb diet and has been able to go off her meds.mthis is the first time in 18 years and she swears it is amazing.

Choices, glad you feel good today.
Hi G, and Pauly, TT.

Happy Un Hung New Year!

[paulywogg]

Nar,I've too read of that diet helping depression, I truly honestly believe that a lot of cases of anxiety/depression are diet related or a vitamin/mineral imbalance, not saying that meds aren't needed for some but maybe for the peeps who don't respond to meds just need to fix what'swrong inside,hope eeveryone had a nice NYE,I was in bed by 9 party animal I am

[Guitarista]

Happy New a Year everyone!


My friend has depression and has gone on a high fat low carb diet and has been able to go off her meds.mthis is the first time in 18 years and she swears it is amazing.

Yo Narilly and Pauly. Gr8 news Nar. Food sure is linked with our moods. I'd be interested in some examples of your friends diet if possible sometime? or similar links etc. No rush. It's an area I'm interested in. Happy new year friends!

[Choices]

Hi guys and gals, feeling pretty good today. I'd heard this awesome quote at yoga a few months ago that had to do with the sky. If I remember it it helps. "I am the sky and everything else is merely the weather". This goes for good and bad stuff I think. Expectations can really mess things up. It's hard not to have them, but I'm finding spontaneous happiness wonderful. And really taking it all in when I can notice it. It's more in the moments in a day then a whole day, or a whole weekend, holiday etc. I think I had this thought when I was getting so upset with my weekends with my husband. We have so much fun together when things click.. And I get so disappointed when we don't . Once we were married I figured I was in this for the long haul and that it was impossible for every weekend to be amazing. I just love him so much and he works amazingly long hours, work trips etc. it's like it all had to be made up for me during the time we actually did have together. But, some weekends just suck. It's just the way it is. Sober, drunk, single, married etc. Drinking has just been a crutch for all my emotions or 'weather'. It has either amplified or numbed things but never did anything for the sky. I don't remember a sky when I'm in the middle of abusing alcohol. Any real touching base with myself was during recovery or a hangover. Which isn't real either. It's just pain. I think accepting the fact that we suffer as just a reality helps to suffer less. If that makes any since! Anyhow! I like thinking of the blue sky. Hubs has a poker game tonight and I am excited to do nothing

[j-vo]

This "expectations" conversation got me thinking. I've always had high expectations for everyone and everything. I never thought about it though, thought about how that can really be a source of disappointment. I'm gonna have to ponder this one a bit. Thank you all. Where do you draw the line with expectations for yourself, and others. Should we have any at all? If we don't, are we letting go of important goals? Hmmm...

[Choices]

I think my line is forest through the trees. Less expectations on things I can't control. And more acceptance in these areas. Like overall I expect to be treated with respect, but as much as someone being in a bad mood can seam disrespectful.., it isn't.. (Just speaking of my current problem yesterday). I can expect, that my husband my husband does ultimately want me to be happy.. Even if it's because he wants to be happy. I don't know, for some reason I'm seeing it as more of an instant be in the moment kind of thing rather then expecting Something will go well, like a night, birthday party.. Etc.. And getting disappointed that it's raining or that the person your night is with is inattentive etc.. But, there is a rainbow you aren't seeing... Or, the food tastes good in the restaurant your in.. I don't think it means put up with things, or stay in the same place if you need to do something else. I think it just recognizes that your not going to be happy all the time, but will be happy again.

I think as far as personal goals go... A person can strive, but it's impossible to not have disappointment along the way if your expecting things out of it. Like I strive to be sober, it's my ultimate goal, but that doesn't mean it's not a struggle at times, to expect it not to be is disappointing. Like, why am I doing so well, and have a craving out of the blue, or why can everyone drink except me, I should be over this.. Expecting too much etc. I think expecting things from others is one of the harder ones and I try not to do it.. I still do though., but faith, or belief in a person is different and easier to manage. These are just thoughts though!

[NoSugar]

I'd heard this awesome quote at yoga a few months ago that had to do with the sky. If I remember it it helps. "I am the sky and everything else is merely the weather". This goes for good and bad stuff I think.

Sounds like your yoga teacher was reading about the 3 principles, Choices. That is one of the analogies they use to explain what's going on. It's a nice thought when we're in the midst of a bunch of turmoil.

J-vo, those high expectations seem to go hand-in-hand with perfectionism in some cases it seems. They did for me. It's a fine line between being motivated by high expectations and being paralyzed for fear of not meeting them. I know that as a kid and adolescent, I was afraid to try things that I didn't know for sure I could do well - and so missed out on opportunities and fun. At some point in my early adulthood I became much more comfortable with 'good enough' but the high expectations and pressure can come sneaking back in even now.

I hope you all had a great New Year's Day. My husband's party in our home went well and the mess is already cleaned up. Let's all have a great 2016! :heart: NS

[Choices]

It's always possible NS. I know she is into Buddhism. And googled the quote. The original quote might have come from Pema Chodron.