Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

acadiaofmaine;1614587 wrote: Well, it helped to talk about it, thanks, everyone. I know this wasn't a momentous situation, but I could feel disaster right around the corner. Because I have been there, done that. Over and over.

So, talking....my default position is to tough it out alone, but perhaps I'm learning!

Have a wonderful sober evening, everyone!

Ann

It seems like we're pretty good at preparing for the Big Challenges - the trick is to be ready for the little things like the comment that upset J-vo last week and then your dinner this evening. We can't anticipate every possible scenario so I guess just have to stay alert to AL's wily ways.

Toughing it out alone sure didn't work for me and I tried plenty of times. There is such strength in a community with a common goal and it is such a gift not to feel so alone, isn't it? I'm sorry you guys have this problem, too, but it is such a relief not to feel like I'm The Only One.

Patrice, I'm so glad your absence was just due to Internet troubles. They are a drag, though.

Mein, I hope that is why you've not been around today, also. If you're having trouble with AL, please come back and maybe we can help :l.

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, Everyone--

I had my first drinking dream last night. I dreamed I drank white wine (funny, rarely my actual drink of choice). I woke up with the realization that I had drunk wine and with my eyes closed I was trying to remember if I had or not. I licked my lips and smelled my breath, and lo and behold I HAD. The very FIRST thought I had was that I was going to have to come here and confess and start posting day 1 again on the roll call (I guess it is helping). I started making bargains with myself - how much did I drink? If it was a glass I'd have to report it. If it was just a sip? Then I was thinking - well, if I had some wine and have to confess, I might as well drink some more. Geez, that AL brain is active even in REM. Thank goodness I actually woke up and I had to really think hard if it had been a dream or if I had had wine. SOOOO happy when I realized it was a dream.

Welcome back, Kuya. Any friend of NoSugar's is a friend of mine. I'm glad you inspired her to stay sober as she has been such a great support for those of us coming after! Here on the LOAM thread we have been VERY busy planning her 1 year party later this month...

Great post, NS. Sort of gives the “why” for the “attitude of gratitude.”

Ava – I’m with you. i have a better mindset, i am calmer and happier in myself and fatter! Although I actually CAN remember what a hangover feels like. I’m glad for that because it is one of the things that seems to be keeping me sober.

Star – you have a lot to stay sober for, including the hard stuff with your older daughter. You’ll be so much more capable of helping her if you are not drunk or hungover. Stay strong!

Nar – great plan for Florida. Doesn’t Disney ban drinking except in certain areas, and your kids wouldn’t want to go there anyway. I think you should plan on a treat for yourself. Think of all of the money you will save NOT drinking hotel cocktails and wine with dinner. A massage after a long day trekking around? Mickey Mouse ears with your name sewn on? You’ll figure something out.

J-Vo – Yes on the comments! The AL thoughts have been pretty fleeting for me still, and I do consciously remember how I felt the day I logged in here (“Day 1 for reals, “ I like to call it in the teenage parlance). Play it out to the end, and that one drink sounds awful and not worth it at all. I have been just saying “I’m not drinking.” People sometimes want to know why and I say that I found myself getting a habit I didn’t want to have and that I feel so much better I might just stay quit “for a while.” So far so good.

Humble – a wonderful picture! Now that’s more like it! I think that picture would be a great jigsaw puzzle. Give those ladies a cup of coffee and set them on a mission and they’ll be right as rain.

AoM – I don’t think you took the first step toward drinking. You found a strong trigger and you resisted it, and you let your feelings out here so that you could deal with them as well. I feel like there are certain things that are going to be hard for a while, but that I will be able to get used to them sober eventually. While the wine at the sushi bar may have been perfect, it didn’t start there. I had sushi with my sister last night and had tea (normally a warm sake), and it was great. An added bonus, the check is A LOT smaller if there is no alcohol on it.

Pat – glad your son is better.

Giraffe – glad you stopped by and are doing well. Are you a runner or is that someone else?

Caper - Of course it was you - that's why I didn't warn you (hah).

OK, loamers. Another LONG day at work. For those of us in the US it is a three day weekend to celebrate Martin Luther King's birthday. My family and I are participating in a day of service to honor his memory on Monday, and I will be doing so without a hangover and with no regret about something I did the night before. Phew. Ms. Ava - if I am just ending Day 47 you must be about to start day 49 - what are you doing to celebrate on Day 50? That's a big, round number!

Sleep well.

[patrice]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi all!
NS - thanks, yes my son is ok now.. out playing happily
Pav- thanks for your long posts, I haven't quite got to that stage yet but I will..I'm in the middle of a long weekend here too, its Thaipusam = a special Hindu day so yesterday was off, can't believe it's still only saturday!
Hi Ava.. wow 50 days soon, you winner you!
x
Pat

[giraffe1234]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Yo Pavati, you had me on the edge of my seat with your nightmare! So glad for you it was only a dream.
And no, I am not a runner. "Sedate stroller" is a more fitting description. Exercise and I are reluctant companions.
Its Saturday morning here; lovely, sunny and hot.
Hope you all have a super day.

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

oh Pav so glad you posted a long post i think everyone is getting over mine! I have a few drinking dreams but not much now. Feels funny to wake up and think it was real and thank god it is not. God forbid Day 1 again. the big 50 has come sooner than the BIG 50 in April but this 50 tomorrow has me pretty excited i must say. i have booked out an entire page of this thread just for my speech lol. No tomorrow i am going to the drs with my daughter and then we are going to my other daughters so i can get my hair cut and spending time with them. I would not want to spend it any other way unless it was with you guys as i would never have done this without all your love and support.

I want a three day weekend, oh that is right i had yesterday off due to the heat, oops. The time goes too quick though.

Thanks Pat, 50 days a bloody miracle and a good one i must say. I remember when i was in the early days thinking that i would never get days like some on here and what do you know i am getting there.

Hi Giraffe, had a chuckle about sedate stroller, i am with you on that one. My son and i still have yet to go to the gym to sign up but hopefully tomorrow and i should to celebrate i think. Will give me some motivation on this journey.

Well i managed to do some cleaning and food shopping and retail therapy. I bought two new pairs of shoes and thought about the price then thought i am not drinking, spoil yourself so i did. I have a coffee date during the week and i have even actually spoken to this man and he seems quite nice. I am learning not to hold my breath as i seem to have bad judgement on men but i am thinking that could have something to do with my al consumption also and my state of mind. If it happens it happens and if it doesnt then i get a free coffee. I will not drink.

[Starfish1]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Good early morning from me, Ladies and I really appreciate everyone's advice and kind words.
I know so well how much my dtrs need a sober mama...even though they are (ages 26, 24, 22 and 17). My mom left my sisters and me when I was about 13 (she was an alcoholic too) and I pretty much had to live through the teen years and early adulthood (including my wedding) without a mother figure (except my daddy, who took care of us)...don't mean to sound depressing, but I really do understand what they have been through and I hate it and I hate alcohol for the way it has controlled my whole life, but the only thing I can do now is move forward, accept the things that I can't change, change the things I can and have the wisdom to know the difference, right Acadia :l

Great job on sticking with the tea, Ann! Last time I quit drinking, I refused to go eat Mexican, because I didn't think I could eat that without drinking a (well, hell, several) Margaritas.:upset:

Drinking dreams...Scary....I was always so glad they weren't true, but sad to say, I kind of enjoyed them while they were going on. It was almost like I got relief from my sobriety and didnt have to pay for it, if that makes any sense.

Caper, I am so sorry for what you have had to go through with your mom and her beloved cat. But I agree with the others, the reason I want to stay sober for the rest of me life (besides staying out of jail) is that I just feel so much better that way and help others feel better about me. That's important to me.

Humble- LOVE the link- Thanks!

Kuya! Welcome back! We have all missed you :l...bad news about me, I relapsed after 7 months of sobriety, but I am back on the wagon now.

Have a great day/night everyone!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

MAE Lovely Loamers,

I've been thinking about triggers as I had a fall last weekend, and I want to become aware of the smallest details that got me there. I know, thinking too much again, but sometimes this reflection is necessary and I feel it's too important to me not to screw up again.

Anyhow, related to what NS said, we prepare ourselves for the big challenges such as going on vacation, family gatherings, work get-togethers...I consider that easier, because like NS said, we already have our plan in place. We already took the choice off the table and are strong in our resolve to make the night go the way we want.

But what happens with the unprepared triggers such as what Acadia and I had? These are bigger triggers for me, now that I look carefully at what happened in the past to me. Every time I fell, it wasn't when something big was planned. It was a "last minute thought" and it sent me into the throes of mental addiction. This is the actual time where I need to use my tools, to put into place what I know I need to do. I will be aware of this more than ever, and take action, not let it break me. I want to know what it feels like to be one year sober, when I am not having drinking dreams, what it feels like not to have a fear of slipping, what it feels like to be separated for a long time from AL. I know it'll get easier as time goes on, but if slips continue to happen, it won't get easier. Do I want to struggle all of my life with this? NOPE. I certainly do not.

Ava is coming up on 50 before her 50th!!! And NS is coming up on a year 1/24!!!! You go girls!

Ava, retail therapy is the best, isn't it! And shoes...my other love. Now with this man thing, I hope you don't overwhelm yourself with the thoughts of having a man in your life. Continue to care for yourself as you have, keep putting yourself first. You deserve it.

Pav, drinking dreams are frequent for me. I believe time will change that, but they are scary. I love how you respond to people that ask you about drinking. I posted that one in my journal, as I will use it. It's honest, but doesn't victimize yourself to others, and they can take it the way they want to. And like others have said, it's the people with the al problems like ourselves that are threatened by others not drinking, and they are usually the ones who ask the questions. Enjoy MLK day with your family and participating in a day of service to honor his memory. That's awesome!

Star, that is heartbreaking to know that your mom left you and siblings. I got tears in my eyes, as the problems that life has thrown us have created many issues in our adult lives. But we recognize these issues and are taking care of us, You are special and blessed to have 4 wonderful daughters who will always need you. And we need you!

Hi all Loamers!!!! Like my new Avatar???

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

MAE Lovely Loamers,

I've been thinking about triggers as I had a fall last weekend, and I want to become aware of the smallest details that got me there. I know, thinking too much again, but sometimes this reflection is necessary and I feel it's too important to me not to screw up again.

Anyhow, related to what NS said, we prepare ourselves for the big challenges such as going on vacation, family gatherings, work get-togethers...I consider that easier, because like NS said, we already have our plan in place. We already took the choice off the table and are strong in our resolve to make the night go the way we want.

But what happens with the unprepared triggers such as what Acadia and I had? These are bigger triggers for me, now that I look carefully at what happened in the past to me. Every time I fell, it wasn't when something big was planned. It was a "last minute thought" and it sent me into the throes of mental addiction. This is the actual time where I need to use my tools, to put into place what I know I need to do. I will be aware of this more than ever, and take action, not let it break me. I want to know what it feels like to be one year sober, when I am not having drinking dreams, what it feels like not to have a fear of slipping, what it feels like to be separated for a long time from AL. I know it'll get easier as time goes on, but if slips continue to happen, it won't get easier. Do I want to struggle all of my life with this? NOPE. I certainly do not.

Ava is coming up on 50 before her 50th!!! And NS is coming up on a year 1/24!!!! You go girls!

Ava, retail therapy is the best, isn't it! And shoes...my other love. Now with this man thing, I hope you don't overwhelm yourself with the thoughts of having a man in your life. Continue to care for yourself as you have, keep putting yourself first. You deserve it. :h

Pav, drinking dreams are frequent for me. I believe time will change that, but they are scary. I love how you respond to people that ask you about drinking. I posted that one in my journal, as I will use it. It's honest, but doesn't victimize yourself to others, and they can take it the way they want to. And like others have said, it's the people with the al problems like ourselves that are threatened by others not drinking, and they are usually the ones who ask the questions. Enjoy MLK day with your family and participating in a day of service to honor his memory. That's awesome!

Star, that is heartbreaking to know that your mom left you and siblings. I got tears in my eyes, as the problems that life has thrown us have created many issues in our adult lives. But we recognize these issues and are taking care of us, You are special and blessed to have 4 wonderful daughters who will always need you. And we need you! :l

Hi all Loamers!!!! Like my new Avatar???

[acadiaofmaine]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Good morning, LOAMER's, sleety snow/rain here today! I just had a run in it, very pretty but chilly! I am so thankful I didn't have a drink last night. Not just because of what it would trigger in me today, but because I would have felt so very badly about myself. My self esteem is tippy enough without being shoved over the edge!

J-vo, I think you hit the nail on the head-how to prepare for these spur of the moment situations? For me, too, my slips have occurred out of the blue. Someone else posted a few pages back (maybe you?) about how the thought comes to you, "I want/need/deserve a drink" and then the thought stops there. Pour the drink. There is no processing the urge, nothing, it's almost robotic. Oh, it was Star who said this.

I went to the sushi bar last night because I didn't want to feel that my life was so small that I couldn't do these normal things that I used to enjoy. Well, it wasn't that enjoyable without wine to keep me company. I needed to be there with either wine, or other people. So sad, neither were available! But I have to remember how incredibly small my life gets when I drink. There is no room for anything else.

I hope you are all doing well, and hopefully those Down Under are cooler!

Ann

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Acadia,
Great way to put it. There is no processing the urge, nothing, it's almost robotic. You hit the nail on the head, girlie. And that's what makes it a dangerous moment - when we don't process this feeling and thought and then we act. We need to process this completely; stop and think about this feeling, work through the thoughts, and think...what are my tools, what do I need to do right now?

[HumbleRider]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Star and Acadia, I hear you about the meals not being the same. We had to go to a new and different Mexican restaurant the other night since I could not go back to our regular one without jonesing for a few Cadillac Margaritas. Worked, I didn't want to drink, except the food was terrible. And the last time I went to our local sushi bar, I had wine with my meal, so I'm avoiding that spot for now too.

J-vo loved waking up to your new avatar. I joined in with the ladies in a morning stretch and felt right at home, haha.

I've got to run, got a long day out of town visiting a friend. No problem in the drinking area. We are getting pedicures and then taking pictures. I want to respond more to lots of great posts and thoughts and will do so when I get home. xo loamers.

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Quick check in this lovely Saturday.

Humble - I'm with you - Mexican food and margaritas go hand in hand for me. I stopped by a new place to pick up some to go food and I had to pick it up in the restaurant part. Chips, salsa and margaritas were everywhere. I was heading to a work event so I wasn't really tempted but it was amazing how strong the association was.

I have only gotten three pedicures in my life - maybe that's how I'll treat myself this weekend. No one sees my toes in the winter much, but I do!

All of this wedding angst makes me realize that I am glad I have boys (although I won't begin to discuss the sexism inherent in the idea that girls' parents organize and manage (and too often pay for) the wedding). Maybe I'll be one of those MiLs that my new DiL's family complains about. Ooh. That's a good way to spend some time - think about ways in which I could make that true! I am lucky - I LOVED my mother-in-law (sometimes I think I married my DH just to have her as a relative :H) She died 8 years ago, and we all still miss her!

Now I'm really leaving. I'll try to check in later tonight after my dinner party. I'm DD so I will be fine in the AL dept. Now if I can just stay awake...

[Mick]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Kuya ..its great to "see" you again...despite the individual opinions of some people!!!

[Starfish1]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I am so relieved that Im not the only one who becomes "robotic" at the tiniest thought of a drink sometimes. All my tools flight right out the window. I am glad we are discussing this. I need to stay prepared.

[Starfish1]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Woohoo! I just spent over an hour at the gym and burned over 200 calories. First time I've done that in FOREVER! Felt great

Hope y'all are having a great day!