Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[j-vo]

Good morning all,
It was a long week, but productive and I'm happy for that. Also happy for a big game tonight. The season is going fast, too fast. Will be working the concession stand prior to our varsity game. I thought I'd hate this job, but I really love it. Making people happy by serving them treats is fun!

Mom's breathing got evaluated yesterday. She's down to 60% breathing capacity, and although I know her baseline was much higher, don't know exactly what it was. That info. Is in Philadelphia. She'll be getting a machine to help with clearing out the mucus build up that is normal in these patients, but also to help with breathing. This is the same treatment they give to people with cystic fibrosis. I hope that helps with her quality of life. I read that it will in addition to helping her to sleep better.

Lots to do this weekend including filling out more scholarships for college, working on the state and federal aid stuff, school work. Second grading period is over next week. OMG. But I'll be doing this all 'unhung.' That makes a huge difference in my life. Have a good Friday all.

[treetops]

I hope the machine helps your Mum J-Vo and gives her some respite. Are the college applications for your son?
Steadfast - our stories of middle-age boozed spread show that it doesn't matter what you drink - its the AL and calories that count. By the time I hit middle age I was mostly drinking wine. All this talk of diet etc reminded me that I need to get some exercise in this weekend if I can. Besides I love going for walks - its a psychological and spiritual boost for me as well. Especially as I have to deal with some business connected to The Thing.

Sorry I haven't read back much but I hope for everyone your Friday goes well- apart from those of us who are now in the weekend already.

[Choices]

I hope the machine helps your mom Jvo. Not being able to breath well is terrifying. When I had my csection there was an infection that spread to my heart and lungs. I can't remember my capacity but I had to go into hospital after Sara was born for a week. It never was figured out exactly what the problem was. It seams each decade I go through a round period. It must have to do with metabolism and life style changes. I think I'm middle age 42 is middle age right? I was chubby in my early 20's, middle 30's and now I'm mildly obese . Biggest ever, but in between those times I am a really healthy bmi. And appearance wise look athletic. I love long walks TT for the same reason.

Today we have a birthday party for Sara's friend. Feels like we haven't been to one in ages.... Haha, since my December boycott. Now I'm just navigating junk food. It's always something!!!! All good though. I'm eating before. A lot of my mum friends are pregnant again... So pretty good for me on the not having to talk about wine as a topic of relaxing. Friday nights with Jay are getting normal without drinks. He has beer on his breath less when he comes home too.. And I'm not running into any empties.. So appreciating the support on this front from him.

[narilly]

I can't imagine how big I would be if I was drinking! Thank goodness I don't have to worry about that. I honestly never thought I would like the sober life and that I would really miss drinking. I actually love the sober life and the freedom it brings.
I can actually wake up early in the morning for an appointment or whatever and I don't wake up with regrets and memory loss. I hated the memory loss thing. By the end of my drinking I would black out very quickly. It really sucked.

I used to be chubbier too just like you gals. I really like being in better shape and not all puffy. It is Friday and I will be going home in a couple of hours. Have a great Friday night everyone. Stay sober so we can wake up Un Hung tomorrow!

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Funny - a friend just sent me some old pictures, and I was very chubby as well. Came and went over the years, but I haven't been the weight I am now since high school.

Nar, I love the sober life, too. Freedom is the right word. I am so happy to be free of the fret, guilt, pain and calories that alcohol brought to my life. I never thought it would be possible, either.

Good luck to your mom, J-Vo. Several years ago I worked with a student who had CF and a machine. I hope it helps.

Happy Weekend, Gloamers. Hope you all have great ones. I think I'll get out for a long hike, too.

xo
Pav

[j-vo]

We won the game tonight! Son and friends went out to eat, and John went with other parents to eat. I just didn't feel like socializing. Too tired on a Friday night. I would rather hang out with my pooch and watch some Nurse Jackie.

TT, the applications are for scholarships or free money we're trying to get. And filling out federal, state aid forms is also on the schedule this weekend. We did the federal one last weekend, but we need to do some others. I'm new to this, so it's a bit confusing.

Freedom, no regrets, remembering, no bloated feeling...awesome is all I can say.

Choices, hope the party was fun for your daughter.

[Choices]

Dang, I just checked the thread again to because I couldn't remember the title Nurse Jackie... It's not on Netflex in NZ yet. Boo. The party was cute. My friend who threw it for her daughter looked stressed.. But not too.., stressed. Haha.. I confess, I did have a small slice of her lovely cake. She had texted earlier in the week about having a cake fail.. So I had to try it? I'm glad I did. My friend has a high power job, where she is under a lot of pressure.. And going through a divorce. I've really gotten close with her the past 3 years as our daughters have play dates together. I felt really good that I wasn't at this party hungover and in pain. Her mother was so nice and told me how glad she was that I was a good friend.. That made me feel like a million bucks. Sara had a great time playing and I asked my husband to come. I don't normally.. But I knew I wouldn't know a lot of people and socially just felt like leaning on him. My triggers begin at things like this... Feeling socially uneasy... Then waiting to come home and drink later. Him being there was great. After the party I did another rpm class. Thoughts of drinking make me ill at the moment. I think if I didn't go to the gym.. I would be wishing I could have wine. So overall.. A successful AF day.

[treetops]

Choices - Nurse Jackie is on Lightbox. We have a free subscription because we use Spark.
Lightbox does have a 30 day free trial so you could try that out.

[jane27]

Jvo, What is your Mom's diagnosis? My MIL has a rare, bear of an illness called BOOP (Bronchiolitis obliterans organizing pneumonia aka cryptogenic organizing pneumonia). My Mom also had a pulmonary condition after under going surgery at 75 years old. In the recovery room post op she was at 60% oxygen. 35 years of heavy smoking (she quit in her 50's) + her age...I guess the general anesthesia really knocked her for a loop. She bounced back after 6 months, but MIL is still struggling, on oxygen & takes Prednisone.

TT, Is there light at the end of the tunnel with the work thing at this point?

Reached out to an old MWO friend via email regarding depression and meds to see if she could offer any feedback or suggestions. My doc bumped my Prozac by 10 milligrams 2 years ago, and again last year. I'm at the max dose and its not doing the trick any longer. I've tried many of the meds and been quick to stop most of them due to side effects like weight gain, feeling numb, feeling even more depressed than I was to begin with. My friend recently completed 12 sessions of ECT and sounds hopeful. Its something I had never considered before, but am now going to look into. I know it can cause problems with short term memory. I think I've been on a downward slide since the summer and its a path that is familiar. Its kind of like being stuck in mud, and I'm feeling tired & frustrated about it. This is why I haven't been posting on here so much. Thankfully I enjoy making graphics rewards on the roll call thread for newbies and oldies hitting milestones. Its inspiring to see people succeeding, feeling better, surprising themselves. Alcohol is the mother of all wolves in sheeps clothing.

I've been so blah that I even missed my own 2 year AF anniversary yesterday. It was a cool surprise when Byrdie pointed it out. On my 1 year anniversary I felt down I think because I unconsciously built up expectation of feeling extra good on the day (classic example of why folks can get the birthday blues- or I do anyway). So not realizing I'd hit the mark, being surprised by it and then receiving some really kind posts on the thread Byrdie started for me- it was the opposite of the birthday blues- a major out of left field pick me up. So happy & grateful for that.

The baseboards etc- if were just about me/us/our house, I wouldn't bother. I want to make the extra effort because the couple that has rented the condo is paying 4k a month for February and March. 8thou is a lot of money and I don't want to let them down. We always rent apartments when we travel with the kids because its so much more affordable (and nice) than staying in a hotel. With all the bedbug hype in recent years, I definitely take a look around before we get settled in (especially the mattresses). I'm not worried about bed bugs but I guess its pride and ocd rolled up in a ball.

Gave Red a bath today. His fur is so soft and silky now. Nar, how is Elvis doing?

I’m sorry I haven’t been that conversational. Its not for lack of care or interest that’s for sure. You guys are always in my :love: xoxo

[Guitarista]

Jane, no probs. No stress here, and post whenever you feel like it. Great stuff on 2 years my friend. You are such a delight to know.

All the best with that depression. I wish you a speedy path to finding some balance and peace. I believe it is totally possible. :happy2:

J vo. Wishing your mum comfort, good health, and peace.

[lifechange]

Good Morning, Gloamers..
After a difficult work week, I went to bed last night at 930 and woke up at 630 feeling great.. don't think I moved once the whole night!

Jane, Congratulations on 2 years! Really good to read your post just now.. to know how you are doing. I'm sorry you've been having a hard time lately with depression.. I can imagine it's frustrating trying to fine tune the meds.. and then when that doesn't seem to help.? I can't remember whether or not you've mentioned trying TMS..? Or if you know someone who has? You're in my thoughts..:hug:

J-vo, your're sounding so strong and determined in your state of mind. You've got so much on your plate right now and you're realizing that it's actually easier to do without alcohol! You're a couple weeks ahead of me and I keep looking to you as a source of support.. I also feel stronger than I ever have before as far as sobriety goes.. actually as far as anything goes! It seems hard to believe after only 65 days that I can be so sure of my quit.. and I don't want to get ahead of myself. because I know the AV can still jump out of nowhere to surprise me. But I won't fall for the BS again.. not ever. I think all of the years of falling for the lies, trying to find some way to keep alcohol in my life, it's finally sunk in. The Truth! My truth! It's such a relief to know that I do have control over (at least!) this one thing in my life!
I really hope your Mom gets the breathing machine soon. I would think that would help her out immensely..

Old pictures!!! Nightmare.. My dad is the king of posting ugly pictures of me on FB! His wife and I ganged up against him and now he isn't allowed to without asking first.. but I cringe when I think of them.. not even just the puffy face, but the overall look of disinterest in appearance or self care.. ughhh.

What I notice now is that my eyes are bright.. I look alive and it's possible for me to look others directly in the eye. That also has to do with the fact that I'm not lying any more.. to myself or to anyone else. This is taking some work and thoughtfulness.. because I realized how habitual it's become for me to "white-lie" about everything! Even the silliest little things, under the pretext of "not wanting to hurt someone" for instance.. Now instead of spurting out a small untruth, I'm trying to step back and think about how I can be completely honest (which allows me a lot of the time to better honour myself as well) while looking out for the well being of the other person.. slowly but surely I'm becoming more aware and it's getting easier..

Choices, what a nice compliment, to be acknowledged for being a good friend. You're doing so well... it's great that you knew to ask your husband to come along for the extra support.. and that he's able to do that for you! You are doing exactly what you need to be doing to ensure your sobriety.. that's what we all have to do.. and slowly, surely the other things, with our determination, change in perspective, hard work, whatever, will fall into place. That's what I love about falling back into one day at a time (whenever I remember to!).. we realize that today is all we really need to deal with..

I can't get Nurse Jackie here either! I was looking forward to starting it.. I've been watching the Making of a Murderer.. which is such a sad story of our Justice system at its worst.. IMO.
Any other suggestions?

I'm so excited to be up early and Un-hung on a Saturday morning.. blue skies and warmer weather for us again this weekend.. and I have all the time in the world..:happy2:

Hugs and love to all you Ladies and Mr. G!

[j-vo]

Good morning Gloamers,

I slept like a baby last night, then am easing slowly into the day. It feels great and such a treat to be able to do this on a Saturday morning. Actually it's almost noon and I'm still easing in!! No rush.

Choices, I echo what LC said. What a really great compliment about being a great friend. Glad you made it through a slightly hard time and that's great your husband is supportive of your needs.

Jane, Mom has ALS. She was diagnosed in June of last year. The symptoms are progressing quickly, and with this disease, there's no stopping it. In pictures, she looks quite normal, but the reality is she's losing her mobility, her voice, and needs help doing everything including dressing, undressing, getting out of a chair to get to her walker, get into the car, bathing...It's very sad. I'm glad your mom is doing better.

LC, you're sounding very strong as well. Yes, this is our LAFQ and I'm sure of it. We will be celebrating our milestones of a year, then two years just like so many people here on MWO. Don't stray and I won't either. Let's check in daily, even twice to ensure we stay on track. Yes, that AV will come but then we need to remember it'll go.

Have a great day all.

[j-vo]

Jane, I'm sorry about your depression. I know that condition is very difficult. I hope you can find the right meds and dose to lift yourself out of it. What is ECT? Take care.

[jane27]

Gosh Jvo, that is rough (ALS). Seem to be hearing more and more about this disease. It must be painful to watch her struggle. Feeling powerless to help a sick loved one is a terrible feeling. Hang in there. You're doing a bang up job of keeping your sobriety right in front of you. Hard to believe its been nearly 3 months. ECT is shock therapy. It sounds scary even to me, but it doesnt hurt to learn more about it. Wishing all my Gloamers a bewdie. xox

[Choices]

I'm sorry about your depression Jane. I have it myself, not at the moment because I'm on a low dose of citalopram 20 mg. I've been on that for 3 years prescribed by my GP. When I was in the US my depression was really difficult to medicate.. I went through a ton of trials with medication. What ended up working for me was a low dose of Abilify. That drug isn't in New Zealand, or if it is I can't remember but was too expensive for me. Lots of hugs to you, it is so tough. Another thing that helped me was tanning in a sun bed. And taking vitamin D. Some of this stuff won't seam to help though if things have gotten too acute. My depression is SO different now after having a child it has manifested itself as blind rage. In some ways the rage is easier. Only because I can't question if I'm in control of the depression or not. If that makes since? It's more black and white.. And I think easier to treat for me anyway... TT I will have to check out light box.. We use Spark. LC I love reading your posts. You are such a thoughtful person, and I think your sounding very strong! Hello, Nar, Little B, Gman, E, NS, Pav, Jvo, Oh, I always worry when I list that I will miss someone!! If I did I blame it on short term memory loss! Your a wonderful group of people! I couldn't have done this without your support. I feel like I've come around a bend and feeling so grateful to be sober again.