Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[NoraC]

j-vo - you and your family are in my prayers.

[j-vo]

Thank you, Nora. :hug: I'm a hugger...

[little beagle]

That was a wonderful post J-vo. Yes I felt trapped by alcohol. You are in my daily thoughts and prayers.
Jane I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. Call me if you need.
Our Gulf is Usually very mild. Small waves. Shallow for a long way out. But if there's a hurricane anywhere in the Gulf it's a different story.

[Pavati]

Hi, Gloamers--

I've been scarce, too.

Jane - So sorry about your dad. I remember lunches with him at the beginning... Hugs to you and your family.

Thanks for that post, J-vo. That is such a hard disease for a whole family.

LC - I'm so glad that worked out. Doesn't it feel great to confide in good friends? For me, it has been very slow. Still no one but my husband knows the very deep depths that I was in, but "coming clean" feels good. I'm glad you reconnected with him.

G - For me there is nothing better than a swim in the ocean. I even go up here where the water is 55F (though I admit, not as often as when I was young).

Nar - yes to better relations!

LB - 1,000 is AMAZING! I have a date with Ava to meet for our thousand day anni in August.

Night, Gloamers!

xo
Pav

[Choices]

:hug: Jvo.

Don't be sorry about getting your feelings out about your mom. I don't know what to say, but other then I really feel for you and think your being a very good daughter.

My mood is better after getting this huge fan. Next on the list a pool for our yard. If we had a yard and owned our house.. Na, all good the fan is just fine for now.

My daughter asked if we could make sushi.. when I asked her what she would like in it she said. Bacon! lots and lots of bacon... haha.. so what the heck.. that's what's for dinner tonight. Bacon sushi.

[jane27]

Jvo, I feel your pain, I really do.

Thanks so much everyone for the thoughtful comments and support. I spoke to Dad on the phone for a few minutes this afternoon and I could tell that he is feeling fragile, frustrated, scared, and lost. He has a pacemaker which makes him not able to get an MRI, but they are running other tests. About 10 years ago he suffered a stroke following a triple bypass & valve replacement. It happened at home just an hour or so after he had returned home after being discharged. Initially I thought he was joking because we were watching tv and talking. He said he had a headache so I was kind of massaging his temples. My stepmother came in the room and my Dad winked at me with one eye, then started acting weird. He's big on practical jokes and this type of gag would have been just his kind of thing,so it took a minute or two until we realized he was having a problem. He was perfectly coherent the whole time but in a *snap* he didn't know that he had been in the hospital and became agitated and upset when we explained to him that he'd just had major heart surgery. Around the same time frame (during the conversation), he lost 50% vision in one eye. The paramedics came right away, and back to the hospital we went. They did a case study on what happened and never came to any conclusions. His memory and cognitive abilities suffered from the experience, but over the next few years he seemed to recover very well- aside from the vision loss. He's in Chicago which is a plane ride away. I don't have a great relationship with my stepmother. Hopefully I will have a better sense for where things stand tomorrow. From what I'm getting he is not in imminent danger of dieing- but I don't feel like he is out of the woods by any stretch. I had a very selfish and naiive thought wash over me when I got the call this morning- I;m not ready for my father to die. As though anyone is ever ready for their parent to die. There's a big storm headed our way tomorrow night. That's on my mind too with regard to making it difficult to get on a plane. Taking it a bit at a time.I really appreciate you guys rallying around me. Jvo, hang in there. xoxo

[jane27]

Hi Gloamers, There appear to be issues with the Newbies Nest and NN Roll Call thread. Have sent Zach a PM as well as posted on the tech issues thread (1st thread under Just Starting Out)

[NoSugar]

Now that we're truly experiencing life, and not escaping from it (daily in my case), it can be really helpful to get the feelings out there. Doing that can alone can bring some peace and clarity. It's not as if we can "fix" one another's problems but sometimes it helps to hear about another perspective.

J-vo, witnessing how you are interacting with your mom has given me so much help as my mom seems to change right before my eyes. It is tough but we can handle it, allow the roles to reverse, and give back to them what they unconditionally gave to us. It has been a sweet sorrow to watch my grandsons develop while my mom fades - a real window into the circle of life. Maybe you'll be able to see the essence of your mom in your new great-nephew :hug:.

LC, if it turns out that you and your friend pursue the relationship, it will have such a firm foundation of honesty and trust. I'm in awe when people have the courage to risk being as vulnerable as you did but I believe it is central to true connection (á la Brené Brown).

Things are good on my end - traveling again for several days but with my husband and seeing family. It's so much nicer than alone for work! Right now I have a little grandson snuggled and sleeping next to me. It's so nice not to feel like I need something more.

[j-vo]

Jane, I'm praying for you.

Choices, glad you're feeling better.

NS, safe travels. How sweet to be with your grandson next to you. Can't wait to meet my new little great nephew and touch his precious cheeks.

Here's my post from the Nest.


Travelling north today. Our city is just missing the storm, so I'm grateful because I miss my son and Mr. J-vo, but I'm sad about leaving my parents. I won't see them for two months, and it creates anxiety in me. But what I know is that how I used to handle anxiety is not going to happen. I will take my anxiety and sadness, and find an outlet whether it be cry when I wanna cry into my pillow, exercise, hug whoever let's me hug them. I will not drink, because that would just make me a freaking mess of a person. Being with parents this week has made me realize how important it is to be sober. It's our responsibility to be there for our loved ones, but more importantly, we can be there fully and want to do what we can. I couldn't have done what I have for my parents had I been in the throes of my alcohol addiction. No way.

Have a great Friday All.

[lifechange]

Hi Gloamers,

Ns, I can't think of anything nicer than having a little one snuggled up close...I'm so happy for you that you get to spend so much time with him..I hope you have a wonderful trip with your husband and family. And thank you for your support..

Jane, I'm praying for you and your father as well..and sending strength and hugs your way..
you, too, J-vo! I'm also a big hugger..:hug:

Wishing all you Ladies a peaceful weekend..

[narilly]

NS, That is really nice to have a little one around.

Jane, I am really sorry about your dad. That is hard. Hang in there. It seems a lot of our parents are having issues right now. My MIL has a tumor on her kidney and has to get it removed. My FIL is totally dependant on her and has had a few strokes, heart attacks etc. We will see what happens this year.

JVo, I can't imagine having to leave for 2 months. Oh boy...that is a tough one. I liked your analogy of your mom's disease to AL. That is so true, alcohol kept us as prisoners. I am so glad we are 'out of jail'. At least we have the option whereas your mom doesn't

The temperature is going up to +4C today. That makes me happy. Now I can walk my dog, he really can walk when it isn't freezing outside.

I am going over to some highschool friend's house tonight. I drank so much with these friends growing up and even as a young adult. Tonight I am going to tell them I don't drink anymore and haven't for almost 2 years. They are going to be shocked. I am strong enough in my quit now to tell them that and I don't care what they say. I think it would have been hard to say this a year ago but today I can say "I don't drink". It is true. I don't drink. (right Pav)

Have a great sober Friday Gloamers! Stay sober.

[Choices]

Enjoy your evening Nar. It's fun to see old friends from high school. And, to see how much things have changed... I bet you'll feel proud saying you don't drink and they will be happy for you.. At least that's what I found. And some surprise... But surprise is fun too.

[treetops]

Speaking of surprises - my daughter announced yesterday that she has changed her mind about moving out of home for university. She will still attend but commute from home. Quite a shock to me after preparing myself for the empty nest. I think she did the math as it's expensive living in a residential hall aNd wants to save the money so she can do an overseas exchange instead later on. I am very happy about this but want her to be certain that this is what she wants. No doubt some new plans will eventuate. We also had some other sudden airline changes to do with travel plans for the whole family later this week. So I have spent several hours late at night sorting that out. All stuff that would be a nightmare if you were drinking.
I hope your evening goes well Nar. Folk change and often health issues force people to make big 'lifestyle' changes - so it shouldn't be too surprising if you say that you don't drink. Imagine if we stayed the same since high school! Well I wouldn't mind having the hair I used to have then but I don't look back on those years with longing at all. All I miss from then now is my Mum. And I wasn't so attentive to her either.
Is anyone here experiencing the blizzard that is hitting the US?
Hope you all have a great weekend.

[treetops]

Sorry I posted before I read back and there are some great posts here despite the pain of seeing parents Very ill.
As you say JVo we have this gift of life and its living it in its richness that we can now appreciate. Lovely to imagine your cuddling up with the grandchild NS and your wee daughter playing at your feet Choices.
My daughter and I did a hike yesterday in the bush up a river. It was lovely. We took sandwiches and ate them them sheltering under some trees while it was raining. It was warm and so not uncomfortable. Don't worry she is off with her friends this weekend so I am not coddling her!

[lifechange]

Nothing wrong with a bit of coddling, TT..:love: Here it's really normal for the kids to stay at home their first years of college. And because highschool is 13 years and they start at 6-7 yrs, they're a bit older when they finish. How far does your daughter have to commute? Sounds like a lovely hike yesterday! I'm going to visit my parents mid March and am so looking forward to some warm desert hikes..

J-vo, I meant to say yesterday how much I liked what you wrote, the similarities between the prison your mother is forced to live in and the one which we have had the ability to break out of. I want to thank you very much for sharing what you are seeing and living..

Nar, I have such a nice image of that sweet little dog being carried around or walking himself, depending on the temperature outside. We've also got 4C today.. so I expect to see more furry friends out on the street.. it always cracks me up when they "sit" on the corner to wait before crossing the street... surely what they learned to do, but their little behinds remain a couple of inches of the ground this time of the year..

ok. Off to the gym. Today is the day! I've been procrastinating for almost 6 weeks..