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    I'm home. It was a treacherous drive from airport last night with the storm which had begun a few hours before I landed. It continues to snow, and thus far, I think we've accumulated about 8 inches or so. More coming.

    Nar, that's great you and girlfriends are getting together. We do that once a year, too. And I like what TT said. Imagine if we were the same as we were in HS! I don't have fond memories of HS, as I had addictions back then, too. At our age, we don't need approval for what we do, and not only approval, but peer pressure seems nonexistent. I think that's awesome. I hope your night was great.

    TT, that's so great your daughter will be staying at home. Financially, that's a very smart move. But it's more important that she is doing what she believes is best and right for her. I love the visual of you and her sitting in the rain together. Sweet.

    LC, you sound wonderful. Just sayin'.
    Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

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      Happy Saturday Night, Gloamers.

      Have fun: https://youtu.be/dBn2ux5vRHk

      Hope you all are fabulous, warm and safe.

      xo
      Pav

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        Hi everyone.. Forgot to post today so just checking in.. I'm not worried about drinking at all.. But this is getting closer to the last time I strayed.. And had to start over. So better keep at it posting! Also, I get curious of how everyone is. And care that everyone is doing well. My husband and I had a fight last night but, and this is not that I like fighting.. But I'm glad we did because I think we might of actually got through to each other and it was exciting to turn a bend. Just writing that I remember a massive craving when we went to our corners to give it a rest and go to bed. It was very good no AL was in the house as I felt angry and compulsive in my state. So yeah,, very good to post. Things have been resolved to a point of being excited about working on our problems.. That might sound really silly, but I love getting to the real bottom of things and I didn't feel eggshells so I'm feeling very positive.

        That is lovely your daughter is staying at home TT.. I have a lot of years to not worry about this but I hope my daughter stays with us too. I don't know why my parents pushed for us to leave for school. The push was for us to go out of state so we couldn't come home easily. This was how my grandparents were with them. So I applied to schools only the next state over and came home every chance I got. I was so homesick my first year I could barely concentrate. All of the girls I was friends with in my dorm felt homesick. I don't regret any of it, but it's just so nice your daughter and you, don't have to worry about that part.
        AF January 7, 2018

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          Choices - although you sound positive, take it easy. These domestic skirmishes can creep up on us,so keep the first aid kit ready! Part of that kit is MWO of course.

          Its sad that you were homesick Choices in your first year at uni. I dont think that gets talked about enough and I suspect its one reason why some (not all) students do badly at uni or have mental health (including addiction) problems. Especially today as middle-class young people are so coddled in their high school years and then, wham - sent away from the nest. The issue about whether or not children leave home for university is a cultural sort of thing too. In some countries they do it and its a rite of passage. Its mixed here in NZ because we are a smaller country and many people live near universities. I think traditionally for Kiwis the flatting thing and the OE has figured in more as part of the leaving home.

          I have been in a state of extra-anxiety this weekend - various things that I have to make decisions over - and although a lot of this is out of my control - I still have to decide on some big things - and I can't do this as clearly as I would like because I have to wait for other people to get back to me and wait and see how various circumstances develop. There will be lots of phone-calls today. I also have a doctor's appointment - just my check-up. At my age thats always a bit of a mystery exercise!

          Catch you beautiful people later!

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            Good luck with all you have to do today TT and for your appointment. Thanks for the advice re the first aid kit too. I still feel positive, but yes .. That sneak up craving could crash in on me as it has in the past, and I'm probably more vulnerable then I know. In saying that .. Feeling strong, and going with it. Probably a really good idea to take it slow as you said.

            Yes, the leave home and go to school was definitely not just my parents but a cultural thing for sure. One way that I'm very glad I did that was because when I got just as homesick my first year in New Zealand.. I knew it would pass, even though it didn't seam like it ever would. I made sure I didn't go home for a year, because I knew if I did I wouldn't come back.. And I knew, this was a much better life for me. I don't really get homesick anymore, and when I went home to the US last time I felt somewhat in the borderlands not quite all the way there or here. New Zealand is home now. But, I'm not really a kiwi.
            AF January 7, 2018

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              Hi all,
              Feeling really down, sad, quiet. Maybe all of this worry has made me tired, as I took two small naps today. Just not myself. Going back to work tomorrow, so hopefully I can perk up.

              Choices, what TT said! Take care of yourself, and stay connected. We don't wanna lose you or your days.

              TT, hope you have a productive day and your anxiety reduces.

              I think son is getting closer to his university decision. And I believe it's going to be close to home, at the University of Pittsburgh. I'm proud of him that he was accepted there, as it's difficult to get in for freshman. He went to visit Penn State again last week, but he just didn't like it. He said, "it just seems like that's a huge party school and it's all about football." Is this my kid?...But if he goes to Pitt, they're big into basketball, and that's what he loves. And the culture is just awesome. Always something to do, see, and the beauty of our city, well, I'm proud to live here. Fingers crossed. And he can come home on weekends if he wants to! A really good fit for him. Need to get organized for my week, so Gloamers, talk to you tomorrow.

              NS, happy three years, friend.:love:
              Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

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                Hi Gloamers,

                NS, hope you are feeling like the star you are today Jvo, sorry you're feeling down, but glad to hear you expressing how you feel (keep those emotions moving). I should probably do the same but haven't had much alone time with all of us being snowed in together. Dad has had some tests but they still cant figure out what the problem is. He has spells of not knowing where he is or who is President and then he has moments where he's perfectly lucid. He definitely feels worse when he is sitting up in bed than when he is lieing down. Had an ugly fight with my stepmother (who provoked it). We've swept it aside and are pretending it didn't happen. That seems to be working just fine. That's all I have to report from my neck of the woods. Haven't read back yet, but plan to catch up tomorrow. Red's Indian heritage seems not to be a factor in his ability to tolerate cold. He loves the snow. xoxo

                Last edited by jane27; January 24, 2016, 05:34 PM.
                AF since January 7, 2014 *Never, never, never give up. ~ Winston Churchill*

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                  Way to go NS! 3 years, yippee! Thank you for being such an inspiration and for sharing your presence with us. As G says- 'you 'raawk'! I love you my friend.

                  Jvo, maybe you just need some rest. It is so draining what your going through.

                  You guys had a ton of snow there eh? We got some last night but it will melt this week because we have a Chinook rolling in.

                  I went to my friends house on Friday and they were very supportive of my non drinking. That was probably the first time I ever hung out with them and not drank. It was good.

                  TT, hope your checkup is ok.
                  Choices, I would be so homesick if I moved away. I am quite the homebody. New Zealand must be gorgeous.

                  Talk soon.
                  Narilly

                  "Nothing in this World Can take the place of Persistence"
                  "You can have the life you want OR you can Drink"

                  AF April 12, 2014

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                    J-Vo it depends on the subject but we hear great things about Pitt Uni here! Good choice. Doctor was really pleased with my physical health and my liver tests are apparently looking great.
                    Getting though the other hurdles. It's just chipping away, preservering and trying not to worry.
                    Great that your evening went well Nar. It will get better.
                    Choices you are a kiwi as far as I am concerned!

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                      Thanks for the good wishes, Gloamers. TT's already been here and I'm so confident the rest of you will be - sooner than you think! AF life is so full :wink:, it just seems to rush by! It's so great to think of the cool people around the world making the same choice I am, in spite of a longing or pressure to do otherwise. If any one of us can do it, we all can, because in this we're all pretty much the same. We don't drink. xx NS

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                        I hope the load gets lighter for any sad, stressed, or worried people here. It's nice to know that no matter how tough it is, we handle it better than if we'd been drinking. There's no worry that we made the situation worse and all the remorse and guilt that goes with that. Take good care of yourselves. xx

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                          Aww.. Thanks TT! That actually felt really good. I'm able to apply for citizenship finally and maybe then I'll feel even more kiwi. I'm glad to hear your Dr visit went well.

                          Jane, I am SO hot right now in humidity.. Your photo made me envious. I love snow storms. Great memories. Like your writing, your photo brings me there!

                          Jvo sorry your down, ii hope you are able to get some rest. Hugs.
                          AF January 7, 2018

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                            Choices, you are a kiwi as far as I'm concerned too!

                            Glad your liver is good TT.

                            Jane, your dog is so cute. I love how he loves the snow. My dog is so cold in this weather, wiener dogs are not made for cold weather. It is getting warmer this week so he will be happy.

                            Yes, NS I agree, life flies by when you are sober. I can hardly believe I havent drank since April 2014. Wow. It was hard at the beginning and now it is So much easier. I don't think about booze all the time like I used to. In fact, sometimes I forget about alcohol and the fact I used to drink. This is really strange because I used to obsess about it. I drank for 38 years of my life and it was a big part of my life especially my social life. I was afraid I would lose friends when I quit and I didn't really. There are people I hang out with a lot less though because I don't drink. Hanging out with them was always a good excuse to drink. Now I don't have that reason anymore so I see them less. It is worth it though, I am much happier and self confident since I quit.
                            I love waking up feeling good with no regrets about what I said and did the night before.

                            Being sober Rawks! (as G would say)
                            Narilly

                            "Nothing in this World Can take the place of Persistence"
                            "You can have the life you want OR you can Drink"

                            AF April 12, 2014

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                              Well, that's pretty cool TT, that you heard of Pitt and good things about it! I hope he decides soon so we can start making plans for where he'll stay.

                              TT, so glad you're numbers are good! Must make you feel relieved.

                              Choices, how long do you need to live there in order to apply for citizenship? Good luck with the process.

                              NS, you're right. I can't imagine having all of the stuff on my mind and carrying around a hangover additionally.

                              So many of my coworkers know I had gone to Florida this past week, and they're saying, "Oh, what a great tan!" I wasn't out in the sun once! Haha. Must be my makeup.

                              Jane, thinking of you and your Dad. Hope he's doing better.

                              Kids are as lively as ever. Never a dull moment in middle school.
                              Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

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                                I first had to have a work visa, 2 years, then I could get residency. After 5 years now I can get citizenship (if I want.. Residency gives me the same kind of rights as a citizen.., so I could just stay in that status). But, I want to be the same citizenship as my family. And have a NZ passport. (I can still hold my US one). My daughter has dual citizenship and holds two passports. Her photo was taken at 4 months old. She doesn't have hair yet and it's darling. When I traveled with her, we used our American passports. I feel like my identity is American, but I do feel the influence of kiwi in me now.. Getting stronger. I sound American but people from home say my over all vocabulary is changing.. And I don't drop my 'g' as much ie I say, drinkING not drinkin'. I think the droppin' of the 'g' came from growin' up in Colorado.
                                AF January 7, 2018

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