Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[NoSugar]

Hi, Choices
It is good to see you back. I was sorry when you drifted away and was hoping it was because you felt securely sober.
It is so easy to forget why we quit - I think the "reminders" that a site like this offers are worth whatever time and effort it takes for me to sign in, read, and post if I have something to say.
All the best as you tackle the next 2 weeks. :heart: NS

[treetops]

Hi there folks well I am back in New Zealand after being away for 2 weeks in England. Still not quite awake as we have flown from London to Auckland with only a few hours transit in San Francisco. The trip was great and lovely to spend time with my daughter. No temptation at all to drink but did see a lot of drunk and stupid people in Britain. Good to see you back Choices and we will be here for you not just for the next two weeks but longer. I do find your comment "Luckily, this time around I did manage to not black out until last night" a bit of a worry.
Anyway I will be checking in more now that I am back.

[Choices]

Hi Gloamers,

Day two and feeling much better. I'm really glad I decided to come back and post yesterday.. as feeling better can kinda lead to those false thoughts about alcohol not being as harmful as it is. I'm not sure what I meant TT about that comment "Luckily... I did not manage to black out until last night.. " I guess, I'd been trying to drink "safely"... which meant to me at the time... not drinking until black out. It's all sounding dumb now trying to explain it.. but once I did black out I knew.. I just can't drink safely.... And the drinking I have been doing was moderate for me, but not moderate or healthy. It was too much all around. Is is worrisome because it sounds like I'm sounding like deal making? Just curious. I'm still shifting gears from lying to myself that it was ok if I drank again. It is good to see you, NS and Pauly.. I'm hoping to be here longer then two weeks.. I just don't want to feel that intense fear I did the last time. Only because it obviously didn't work.. so biting off 2 week chunks seams really do-able.

[treetops]

I hope I didn't sound off-putting Choices. I think you explained what I was concerned about - that a pattern of controlled drinking, as in drinking so as not to the point of blacking out, does not sound at all healthy to me and indeed is a signal that there is a big problem with alcohol abuse. So admitting that this is a serious problem is a good first step.
I was concerned when you disappeared from MWO and also from personal contact - but I know that when people pull out that this does not mean that they are drinking.
I had an annoying experience when I was in the UK. A family member organized an afternoon gathering for me and told everyone in advance that there would be no alcohol as I had a problem with alcohol (she possibly used the word alcoholic) and had quit drinking. I was not consulted in advance of this announcement and when I spoke to my niece I explained that I am totally OK being round alcohol and with others drinking. Its not like I see or smell a drink and go insane and start uncontrollably drinking. I know she was only being supportive and loving but I could see that some of the people at the event were a bit annoyed that there was no alcohol (it was a sunny outside Sunday gathering). I now know that that in fact she was using me as the reason not to serve AL because she didn't want some people there to get tanked up - i.e., it was her way of controlling their AL problem (based on their past behavior). Still it rankled. I wonder if others have found themselves being the straw-dog in such situations?
Hope everyone is doing well and especially you Choices - its not easy starting over again, but you know the drill and have quit before.

[Choices]

Good morning, It is Saturday and I am not hungover which feels very nice. No, TT you were not off putting at all. I have a lot of respect for your advice and was just trying to figure out what you were getting at because I knew it was probably a pearl. Actually I'd read your response before drop off yesterday and then went on a walk at a bird reserve and really contemplated what you'd wrote. So responded much later. I think the tricks a drinking person plays are quite dangerous. Mine are anyway. I know I was kidding myself. I started somewhat slow... but gained speed... and then really gained... so the wheels fell off again. I think I'm in a better spot mentally then I was in October last time when I came back. So I'm praying things will go a bit easier for me on that front. I guess I'd say I feel more mature about it? Maybe that's because I'm becoming a professional quitter now. And the things that I worried about quitting before, don't seam to be a concern.. I'm not sure how I'd feel about the party being AF, with the reason being me. I wouldn't like the attention, or spotlight. I don't like that anyway, ie Birthday parties.. etc...But especially about my drinking.. issues, problem.. I prefer to blend for sure! But, on the other side... I like that she provided an alcohol free party regardless of the lovely day and people's frowns.. I think it would have been of course much more courageous if shed just done it and not used you as an excuse. It speaks to me that she is struggling with others drinking and that can be so tough. I regret loosing touch with you, I thought of reaching out a few times, but I was drinking and didn't want to waste your time. (This is how my mind was working). I hope everyone is having a good day and I'm very happy to be back.

[little beagle]

I'm very happy you're back choices. We are all here for you to reach out to if you need. You sound strong.

[NoraC]

I have to say that it is great to see this thread being active again. :welldone::love:

[treetops]

Morning all. Its Sunday here and I was up early because I am still adjusting to the time zone difference from my travelling. We also had a pest infestation in my bedroom ceiling and that was rather ghastly to deal with yesterday. What a welcome back!

Hi there Nora and LB. What's the latest LB? Did you go away for July 4? Any plans for today Choices - or is it a quiet day?

Hope we get some more traffic on this thread!

[Choices]

Hi Nora, LB, and TT,

Yuck about the infestation! We had a very small one of mice well, one! (We hope!) a month ago. But a trip to Miter 10 (Home depot type store) and we were set up and took care of the problem. Today is a quiet one and it's the only quiet one for a while. So there will be lots of TV watching and screen time for DD. PJ's until hopefully noon for the three of us. I'm on day 4 and feeling better and better. No pestering thoughts.. which is always nice. I sometimes think forever and get a little stressed so push that out and think two weeks again and feel really good... So for the time I'll just run with that. I do know that the further and further I get from drink the stronger I feel about staying away. This up coming week should be pretty smooth. DD is home on Monday for a teachers thing.. so we will probably do something nice. She tells me she likes being out and about.. which is nice for me too. We just get coffee and fluffys collect sea shells go to the library, shops.. I am really enjoying this age. 3.5. I've been trying to take her on small little hikes around our house.. She gets tired.. but it's getting further and further distances before she asks to be carried. Last week though we almost got attacked by this huge black swan. Id never been so close to one.. It's neck put it's face almost eye level to me and it's body was like a big dog. It was hissing at us and I grabbed my girl up and started yelling at it. I felt so stupid and scared. I was worried I'd have to kick this beautiful animal but I just kept yelling and backing away.. So this was our most interesting out and abouts.. last week.

[NoraC]

Choices - scary about the swan. I've had some big geese come after us. But, their heads were only a little above my waist. I still thought I could win but I wasn't sure. :rotlf:

I'm having a really lazy Saturday and I'm enjoying it. I even took a 2 hour nap!

[Choices]

Yes, I wasn't sure either! :egad:His beak, and wing span looked pretty threatening! The next time I walked there I was on my own and waited to pass where he hangs out until he (not or she!) was back in the water... haha

[NoraC]

Well - we stupidly took our young great niece & nephew to feed the geese. We took our bread crumbs and went off for a fun day. We had done that before when their Mommy was little but we took these kids and wow! They ended up standing on top of a picnic table until we could carry them to safety away from the geese. I just mentioned it to hubby and he said oh yeah - buddy climbed on top of the picnic table until he could climb on top of you! :harhar:

[little beagle]

Those swans and geese are scary. We have Canadian geese that live in the pond the apartments next door has. They fly out into the neighbourhood during the day. They are huge. Not aggressive. I could only imagine if they were.
No. I ended up staying close to home over the fourth. But I'm feeling pretty good lately. Got a whole lot accomplished this weekend.

[NoraC]

I was pretty lazy this weekend but I'm ok with that. I'm learning not to beat myself up if I need to have 'me' time.

[NoraC]

Right after I typed the above, I got on Facebook and this was on my feed:

Stress, anxiety and depression are caused when we are living to please others.