Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[NoSugar]

I don't think we can please others, Nora, and they can't please us. Happiness comes from the inside out. xx, NS

[Choices]

Hi everyone,

I'd have to agree about the living to please others... with the stress, anxiety and depression. Not a very good time to say the least! It's all a challenging compromise to get along.. And feeling guilty is the worst!

Today I believe is my day 6 and I'm not regretting my decision to get back into being sober. Every time I start to feel scared I just know patience is all I need.. It's not as if one day I'll arrive into it. But a daily appreciation of it. I guess that is pretty much ODAT in a nutshell. My husband is away on business tonight and tomorrow.. And there won't be any unwinding... or rather winding myself up with wine after my girl goes to bed. I was finding my mind was racing on wine this last time and it sucked. Much more peaceful to give the whole thing a miss. I would say I'm feeling kind of just tired now. Happy and tired. That's not too bad of a way to feel.

[treetops]

Hi there everyone.
Well done on day 6 Choices. Keep your goal in sight, with your husband away - especially your health and sobriety - as you say day by day. Remember you dont need AL to unwind - and although you have your daughter to care for, I bet you can find some ways to treat yourself without hubby there. For one thing you won't have to cook for him. You are bound to feel tired - and happy tired is good.
I myself am still very tired from my flight - and getting back into work. Feeling a bit low today as I am in a hiatus sort of situation with various tasks and decisions. I am the kind of person who likes to be well organized and busy, 'seize the day' - and I dont handle uncertainty and loose blocks of time so well. Once that was easily filled with AL - what a great time waster AL was - what with procuring the stuff, sneaking around with it, drinking, recovering the next day - and on the cycle went.
I am not bored - just kind of in limbo a bit - ready to sink my teeth into my next big project work wise - but unclear about the specifics.
Well small things to do now - like getting dinner ready.

[Choices]

Good morning,

Big sigh of relief. Day 7 again. I feel calm and good. Steady. I feel great but not in a pink cloud kind of way... which I'm glad about. Not that I don't love those kind of feelings but I really, especially the older I get, and with a little one.. desire the more even keel day. I've made friends with this really neat woman from Toronto who has a daughter my girls age. They go to pre-school together. It's school holidays so we are taking our girls to gold coin donation SPCA to decorate animal cookies. This lady makes me laugh pretty hard and because half my family is from Toronto, I feel so comforted by her accent. I am enjoying my husband away. I use to hate it but now I just enjoy my nights off.. Yep, TT ... no real pressure on dinner being made.. etc. He goes away every 5-6 weeks traveling to Christchurch and Wellington. He use to do this all in one day and come home a monster. I've urged him to spread it out over two nights. So this is the first time he has actually listened. I can tell he is lonely without us after working so hard.. but I think he'll be more rested and actually be in a much better frame of mind when he sees us. We are going though a really good patch at the moment. Long may it last! When things are good, I always think this is great it will always be this way from now on! And when they are bad.. I feel like I'm doomed forever! haha.. That's why I think I love the even keel feeling.. Steady. In my marriage, work.. everything. I use to really crave feeling over the moon. Probably why I enjoyed drinking so much.. But what goes up always comes down.. Some up and down is just life.. Gah, I am rambling!

Last night, thoughts of wine came in as easily as they went out. I read somewhere on here where, you never wake up and think.. I wish I'd had one more... SO, true.

[Choices]

Good morning,

Big sigh of relief. Day 7 again. I feel calm and good. Steady. I feel great but not in a pink cloud kind of way... which I'm glad about. Not that I don't love those kind of feelings but I really, especially the older I get, and with a little one.. desire the more even keel day. I've made friends with this really neat woman from Toronto who has a daughter my age. It's school holidays so we are taking our girls to gold coin donation SPCA to decorate animal cookies. This lady makes me laugh pretty hard and because half my family is from Toronto, I feel so comforted by her accent. I am enjoying my husband away. I use to hate it but now I just enjoy my nights off.. Yep, TT ... no real pressure on dinner being made.. etc. He goes away every 5-6 weeks traveling to Christchurch and Wellington. He use to do this all in one day and come home a monster. I've urged him to spread it out over two nights. So this is the first time he has actually listened. I can tell he is lonely without us after working so hard.. but I think he'll be more rested and actually be in a much better frame of mind when he sees us. We are going though a really good patch at the moment. Long may it last! When things are good, I always think this is great it will always be this way from now on! And when they are bad.. I feel like I'm doomed forever! haha.. That's why I think I love the even keel feeling.. Steady. In my marriage, work.. everything. I use to really crave feeling over the moon. Probably why I enjoyed drinking so much.. But what goes up always comes down.. Some up and down is just life.. Gah, I am rambling!

Last night, thoughts of wine came in as easily as they went out. I read somewhere on here where, you never wake up and think.. I wish I'd had one more... SO, true.

[little beagle]

No Choices. I have never woken up wishing I'd drank the night before... funny how that works out. Glad you're feeling Steady.
TT hope you get your next project lined up.
I've had a great day. New haircut. Great workout at the gym. Work was good. I was really appreciated today.

[treetops]

Glad to see you had a great day and a fab haircut LB. I certainly earned my income today - really shattered from work.But I got to wear my cool new boots.
How's it going Choices?
Hugs to all.

[Choices]

Hi everyone,

I'm glad work was good for you today LB and I love getting a new hair cut. And love new boots as well TT.

What a difference a day makes.. last night was a struggle, not a huge one.. but I would honor the fact that I was a bit fragile. My mind was just racing a lot.. and I had insomnia. I made sure I didn't buy any wine, and once DD is asleep, there is no getting it either.. So pleased with myself for not getting a just in case bottle. Because it had crossed my mind.. but I just let the thought.. sit.. and didn't act on it.

I had planned on going to the gym because it's been ages.. but flagged it. Today was kind of a watch shows, and not get much done kind of one.. My husbands flight came in fairly early so he came with me to pick up to surprise DD. I'm really glad he is home now. And, he came home in a good mood.. (Someone is watching out for me) My girl was SO happy to see him. I'm not use to having him home in the afternoon..

So, I just ended up going upstairs and getting a ton done.. like organizing my closet.. and just overall stuff/ treasures/ junk of mine. It actually felt really good. I have a lot coming up this weekend.. my permaculture course, staying at the in laws, and going to a Christening.

My in laws didn't know I fell off the wagon.. They already assume I don't drink anymore.. So that's a nice thing not to worry about. And, aside from my Father in law, they don't drink much anyway so I won't even be around it.. It's more of a diet coke kinda affair usually.. which is also VERY nice right now. The Christening is at 9:30 am. I've never been to one.. So would have no idea if there would be AL.. but because of the hour.. I'm pretty confident saying NO will come easy... and there of course isn't any drinking at my permaculture course... so I'm pretty much covered. My brain is feeling better. I'd had bloods done for everything and I am healthy.. no problems.. So I am going to be very grateful for that and keep working at taking better care of myself.

[SnoopyC]

Liked a few posts and wanted you to know I am happy to read the new posts and the fact that this thread is BACK! Choices, you are amazing, it is wonderful to read your daily journey, thanks for sharing and helping others on their journey.

LB, so wonderful for you to be enjoying life and feeling appreciated. Good!

TT, sometimes cool boots are the only thing to get me through a winter day!

Have a good one.

[Choices]

Aw, thanks snoopy,

I just woke up and logged in... So feeling good after reading what you wrote. Yeah, I really like this thread.. A lot of people are missing since I left that I'd love to hear from to see how they are. A lot of success in this thread so possibly people are just living sober and doing well. I'm feeling good so far today.., only regret is eating too much pizza last night.

[treetops]

Hi Choices and everyone else. Yes it is a bit disheartening when there are so few posters on this thread but that can't be helped.
How are you doing Choices?

[Choices]

Hi TT and everyone!

I've been doing pretty good... This weekend was busy, but I thought it went well. My husband got in a foul mood at the very end so really has thrown me last night and this morning... Then I got an e-mail from my sister that bugged me about our trip home to the States.. SO I'm kinda feeling like a ping pong ball. Just trying to not let myself get upset.. but it's hard when it's upsetting.. So kinda one of those days! How are you?

[little beagle]

Hope it's better by now choices. I'm hanging in there. I too feel like a ping pong ball at times. But it's straightening out and I'm really glad for that.

[Myluck]

Little Beagle - call me please if you need ❤️❤️❤️
I am doing my milestone stop by - recently I celebrated 1000 days. Pretty awesome! My husband still AF as well. Still doing my hot yoga 5 times a week and drinking is not an option. Too destructive - we have only one body given to us. Miss you all

[treetops]

Keep away from the ping pong LB. I am not sure if you are posting elsewhere but make sure you check in here and share your feelings. Great achievement - wow - Myluck - and also for your husband. I guess I am well over my 1000 days now and will be 4 years later in the year. I dont worry about drinking but sometimes when I am very low I have a twinge or two and I kid myself a bit about the possibilities. But its not a craving and it not an option for me. In some ways because I once had a serious health call with what AL was doing to my body, I dont have any options (unless I want to get very ill).
Its cold and gloomy where I live at the moment which doesn't help - I want to go out and grab some sun. Musn't moan as although it was cold I had a lovely break eating my lunch, overlooking a beautiful beach a few days ago.

Choices - how are things going? Silence is not a good sign -so I hope I am wrong.