Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[bkyogagurl]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Have a good evening Miley... I love lemon water and will join you...

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Well nearly my home time from work and gees this dating thing brings the nerves on, maybe due to the fact i am sober and going to stay that way. Oh Nar now why would i hit him over the head, maybe when he is trying to get away from me.

BKY i did not understand the cricket thread either but didnt want to appear dumb so did not ask any questions but now i get it. I always waffle, never stop except when asleep. Pav bless her always means well and i love her to bits.

Pat how are you going? Still wracking up the days? I hope they are getting easier for you now. Its the weekend for us shortly and i am so looking forward to three days off work and doing nothing and we can have a chat too, that will be nice.

Oh Miley you can never be left out and by your post it looks like you have the potential to waffle on as much as Pav does ha ha. What kind of pups do you have? I have a shitzu and a maltesex and i adore them both, more than people sometimes. They never judge me.

Well guys have a great MAE and make sure you all put up lots of posts for me to catch up with tomorrow. Day 55 here and wont be back at day 1 tomorrow i can assure you.

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

available;1617444 wrote: morning Loamers

Pav i will try and shorten my posts.

If that happens I will have to, in your words, come down there and break your neck.:l What would I do if you quit posting so much?! Keep those wonderful words coming, sister.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Ava, I never found the dating thing easy. I know that dating and booze usually resulted in some sort of inappropriate behavior on my part. It makes me cringe to think about it. It is nice to be able to go on a date and really just be yourself FFS!
Miley glad you could join us. We have lots to talk about. I have a pit bull boxer cross who is the biggest baby ever. She pees in my house quite often so therefore we have a love hate relationship...Actually, I love my goofy dog a ton.

NS, 1 YEAR!!!! YaHoooo! Way to go Sugar Sugar!

Gals, I am off yo bed. Oh, and tomorrow is my day off. Oh Yesh!

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Quick check in - sorry, Ava. I'll give you something to read this weekend.

Ann - we all have our own ways to deal with this journey "in person." If you get glean any insights you think we could use, please DO share, AA or not. Sounds like you have found something that will work well for you!

Ava - do share the goss about your date - he's a wise man, calling you again, even if you might hit him over the head and take advantage of him.

NS - saving my words for your anniversary on MY time, tomorrow. Hope you are better from your other situation.

My son broke his hand and will have to have surgery to fix the bone. Bummer as he was working really hard in baseball and was going to make the team. He'll be fine, but I do feel sorry for him.

OK, loamers - sleep tight. Another weekend - stay strong everyone.

xo

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Ava, I never found the dating thing easy. I know that dating and booze usually resulted in some sort of inappropriate behavior on my part. It makes me cringe to think about some of my drinking dates. It would be nice to be able to go on a date and really just be yourself FFS, and that is what You get to do, lucky girl.

Miley glad you could join us. We have lots to talk about. I have a pit bull boxer cross who is the biggest baby ever. She pees in my house quite often so therefore we have a love hate relationship...Actually, I love my goofy dog a ton.

NS, 1 YEAR!!!! YaHoooo! Way to go Sugar Sugar!

Gals, I am off yo bed. Oh, and tomorrow is my day off. Oh Yeah!

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

x post, Nar.

I would be terrified but would love to try dating sober - not with my husband who I know so well. I always had some liquid courage before I would talk to men.

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hey Pav!
Thank goodness we are married eh?!
Have a good sleep tonight hon.
Hugs,

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I'm baaaak. Was trolling through the long time abstinence thread and came upon this post from About Time Tooooo - more than 8 years sober. Thought I'd share - it hit home to me, especially the second paragraph about looking at (him? her?)self in the eye:

I got all reflective. I used to tell myself I'd tried everything.. I"d tried moderation.. I'd tried smaller glasses, I'd tried different wine.. often I"d tell myself I would try things when I never would at all. In the morning I"d tell myself I wouldnt buy any booze that day and sure enough I would.

I think for me honesty is the key. If I want to look myself in the eye I need to be sober. Drunk is not a nice look.

You know, some very kind people helped me here. I will never forget them... but I have helped myself too and for that I'm proud.

3000 (or 3001) totally abstinent days for me... and still today its important. Its important to me that I dont drink alcohol today.

And I wont.


OK, sleep tight, too, Nar.

[acadiaofmaine]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Good morning, Ladies,

Just wanted to say hello before I lose track of my day! Wow, another freezing one. It's kind of wearing after awhile.

I guess the main thing I am getting from AA and from MWO is the realization that I can't do this AF thing alone. I thought I could, lord knows I have tried over and over and over. I'm a very self reliant person who has always achieved what I set my mind to, but this process has really thrown me for a loop! I don't think AA is that different from MWO, except that there is a lot of focus on how to live life, aside from not drinking. In fact, not drinking is rarely the topic or even mentioned, except occasionally by a newbie. It seems more about how to manage anger, how to forgive others and ourselves, how to give up trying to control every damned thing. It's pretty amazing how everyone seems to have a lot of the same struggles. I think AA is a lot about the human condition-at least that's what I'm taking away from it right now.

Anyway, happy Friday! I feel a little anxiety about the weekend. Does anyone else? My routines have always revolved a lot around sipping wine all day long, never getting drunk, but definitely being involved with the bottle. It kept me from doing much after a certain point in the day, and it made me go to bed very early. I don't want that ever again, but there was something a little bit comforting in it. Now I can get a ton more done and I don't have to make excuses for my fatigue, and I can be much more present with family and friends. All good. But, I guess part of me still longs for that almost-oblivion.

But, I won't drink. I will deal with the feelings of wanting to numb out, and not do it. As Star says, not one, not ever!

Thinking about you all, hope you are all staying warm but not hot, and that you have great things planned for the weekend, even if its only lying around reading and watching TV!

Ann

[Rivergal]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thank you all for getting me on a tea rage. Managed to spend over $50 worth on a Republic of Tea order. Will be posting my reviews as I try them all! Been steeping a green tea bag in my coffee in the morning, as suggested by a woman I met while hiking! It is very "uplifting", as one can imagine, both physically & emotionally! This little drink may have me posting as much as Ava! Just kidding, I find myself living for all of your posts, Ladies! Peace out. Friday night special- Blue Ray movie, pizza, heath bar blizzards, candles, in bed with my fianc? ! Now that beats getting drunk anyday!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Girls,
Quick check in, but glad are all doing well. Thanks Pav for that quote from About time too.

Acadia, that's so true about not doing this alone. I was just telling my parents that last night. And each program gives things that will work for us and things that we need to "leave."

I'm reposting from my journal about last night....
If you're questioning whether you should go to a bar to have fun with friends and listen to live music, answer these questions honestly:

1. Am I going because I love this band and really wanna listen to their music?
2. Am I going to feel sad, longing to have that drink in my hand that everyone has?

Well, I decided I didn't want to go line dancing last night because of number 2. I really wanted to listen to this band and dance (I almost typed drink!) but I felt that I would be longing to have a drink and be more focused on that than enjoying the band. Maybe this will be different in the future, but for now, I choose not to take any chances or make myself long for something I can't have. There will be other times I can dance and listen to music, but last night wasn't that night.

I guess some people may see this as avoiding a situation. I will not deny that. Yeah, I may not have a choice of whether I am in that situation, but if I do have a choice and feel that I won't enjoy it for those reasons, I won't go. Maybe I have to bit the bullet and try it. I will eventually.

NS!!!! Happy First Anniversary. You are such a gem here at MWO. Thank you for all of your guidance, care, love, concern, encouragement, support, teaching moments, and so much more. I love you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you, and congrats, Sister!

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks for all the anticipatory good wishes, Loamers. You really had faith in me, Ava, and gave me several bonus hours :l!

I posted this Ava/Pav-inspired loquacious speech in the Nest:

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Last night while I was escaping the frigid temperatures we are having here by going to the dry sauna at the gym, I thought about the last time I tried to escape the stresses of life by drinking - one year before. I remember that night, but not very well, and in a way it doesn't feel like that was me. Or that that was me in the years leading up to that night. I had become someone I could barely recognize - sneaky, asocial, full of lies, guilt, and shame, apathetic, disengaged, sad, and lonely.

The changes over the last year have been greater than I would have thought possible. I think that is because before I got it back, I didn't fully understand how much I had lost - how much my personality had been altered and I had become that unrecognizable person. I didn't realize then that my life had in many ways become no more than an existence. While we're in the clutch of an addiction, it seems impossible for us to objectively evaluate the situation we're in. The drive to feed the addiction trumps everything.

I very rarely consumed alcohol until my mid-thirties and became a non-drinker in my mid-fifties. What happened during those intervening 20 years was so gradual as to be imperceptible for a very long time. For many years it did not seem that I or my life had changed very much. We just don't notice progressive incremental changes. When I finally became aware that I had a problem, it was too late to simply stop drinking, or so it seemed.

I say "or so it seemed" because really, that is all a person has to do: Simply Stop Drinking.

January 23, 2013 was pretty much like all the days before had been for what seems like years. I was doing my job, meeting my responsibilities --- functioning. We sometimes use that term like it is a good thing: 'a high-functioning alcoholic'. Machines function. People are supposed to live.

And now I'm living again - doing, planning, feeling, dreaming, remembering. Life isn't perfect and sometimes it is downright painful but I'm once again fully participating in it. I could not have done this alone and I know this is true because I tried. Hard. I was a secret drinker and I've been a quiet recover-er, except here where I've revealed more of myself and learned more about the inner lives of others than I ever have before. It has been uncomfortable sometimes but more than worth the shame, embarrassment, and awkwardness I've experienced -- all of which I've spent my life avoiding. Those burdens were lessened by the sharing, the unconditional love, support, and acceptance offered, and finally not feeling so alone.

I am grateful to whoever truly invented the internet :H and to the people who established and maintain MWO. I fear that I would have had to experience a "rock bottom" before I would have sought help in person. MWO spared me that. I especially want to thank FallenAngel, Byrdie, and Kuya for assuming I could do this when I was full of doubt and helping me figure out how. Thank you, also, to the people who began this with or after me and have trusted me to share their struggles. You help me stay strong. The words that I write in posts and private messages solidify the commitment I have made. I once again trust myself to mean what I say and to live up to those words. That is worth everything.

I went to the grocery store yesterday and as I checked out, noticed that the woman behind me was buying a tomato, deodorant, paper towels, and two bottles of wine. My head snapped up to look at her and I recognized the empty eyes and expressionless face - her studied lack of interest in her purchases. I doubt that she really needed to come out into the zero degree day for deodorant, paper towels, and one tomato. I wish there had been some way for me to tell her that she didn't need the wine, either. Even if I had, she probably would not have believed me. I wouldn't have if someone had been so brash as to confront me.

I hope someone reading this, someone who has joined or is reading a stop-drinking website can believe it and makes the simple choice not to drink. There is always another option. It isn't easy, but if you make the commitment and use everything that is available here, it is possible.
-----------------------

The Nest was where I began this journey and my plan is to stay involved there - people at the beginning really have to see examples of others managing to live without alcohol. I'd encourage all of you to chime in there when you have a chance.

This thread is the first of its kind that I've participated in and I think it is great! I like some sort of focus so being on a Mission that has enough rest stops for fun makes this a good place to be. Thank you for starting it, J-Vo, and to all of you who contribute to it and make it so friendly and interesting. I look forward to finding out what you guys have been up to each morning and evening and like many have mentioned, I'm disappointed if there aren't many posts . So, the pressure is ON to KEEP TALKING :H!

I value and love all of you. :h NS

[acadiaofmaine]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Beautifully, poetically said, NS, thank you. You have been such a support to so many and it will be a blessing to continue hearing from you! It has been an honor in the past few weeks to get to know you and to count on you for knowledgeable, informed and thoughtful comments. Sometimes tough love, always supportive! Thank you, thank you.

Ann

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NS, that was a great post. So Glad you are with us. It is a joy to get to know you.

Acadia, Thank you too, I think you were the one of the first that I talked to on Ladies with a Mission. You have been a great support to me too.

I will check out the Newbies nest when I can, I feel like I am way too busy sometimes.

Well I have a day off today so I am getting a bunch of stuff done and then I plan to spend some time with Alan Carr. It is +12 here so I have to get outside and enjoy the sunshine. Our weather conditions change constantly, it is a little crazy!

I am going out for Dinner with hubs tonight to the Diner down the street. Actually it is a really trendy place and is lined up on the weekends. We are regulars there and they all know us. This you know can be a problem because they are used to me drinking. So tonight I am going and am going to say NO I would just like some Perrier or whatever. No wine for me. I don't have a problem with that. In the past 81 days I have drank 2 times and that is pretty good for me. I don't want to go back to drinking after 3 months which is what happened last time. I think this time I am more focused on not drinking and really feel grateful that I am sober. I don't 'wish' I could drink. I will keep posting and find myself a meeting so I can stay sober. I don't want to fall back and take another 3 years to quit again.l
I forgot who said it (an older lady on our thread, sorry!) she wished she had quite drinking earlier and she was in her 70's. Well, for me, this is earlier. I don't want to turn 70 and have that regret. I mean it is great to quit at any time, don't get me wrong. I just have to opportunity to quit Now.

Wow, this was a record long post for me I think! Maybe Pav, Ava, J-Vo and NS are rubbing off on me!

Talk to you soon,