Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks for your good vibes ladies. They really did help. He just makes me lose my freaking mind from time to time. And all I want is a "yes, I'm guilty of that." But he gives me excuses and tells these white little lies that try to cover his ass that wouldn't even cover an ant's ass! Thanks, though, and I'm ready for that broom so we can meet in the middle somewhere. Awww. That would be super fantastic to meet you girls.

Anyhow, I love your idea Ava, and a great, productive, fun activity it is. And everybody loves candles! For me, I've been eating like a cow, but I'm not going to be hard on myself just yet. I quit smoking two weeks ago, although I'm on the 14 mg patch which is the middle strength one. So yesterday after meeting with my girlfriend for coffee, I decided to join the gym she goes to. It's close to home and reasonably priced with lots of different classes. I like the variety. I'm a good 30 lbs overweight and feel just plain yucky. But my head is in a better place (minus my nutty this afternoon) and I feel as though I'm ready for the next challenge.

SL, I think that's great that your daughters are volunteering at a pet shelter! What a good giving feeling, especially at this time of the year. I did that this summer at a dog shelter. Broke my heart at times.

Ok, again, thanks for the Lady Vibes. I'm going to go and read my two books - bought Guts last night or friday, and still am reading Drink. Have a good night all.

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, All:

Back from the Christmas tree farm. One of my favorite holiday traditions - we cut our own tree and then all go out for a delicious and giant lunch. Yum.

J-Vo - Hugs. Sorry about whatever is going on with him. I honestly think there is just too much going on in December. Serenity now.

FF - Glad you joined us. This thread is awesome as we are all DETERMINED to kick this thing once and for all. I started two weeks ago in a state because of a bad weekend, and then went immediately to calm acceptance of my plight that was actually a relief. The last two days I have felt more agitated and anxious. I am with you (and that post by Treetops, and most of the gals here) - not way too much at a party, but the "after" party at home was the problem.

I know I can't drink any more, and that thought scares me now (after being at peace with it). I know I will get back to the at peace stage, judging from long timers here, I just wish I didn't have to pass through this phase, especially around this time of year. I think I might try some meditation cd's per Lav's suggestions. I have two weeks off over the holidays and look forward of lots of exercise and reflection.

Avail - how do you make candles? Drip or pour into molds, or what? Sounds cool. A hobby is definitely a good idea. I had a blog going - maybe I'll dust it off. I spend all of my writing energy here at the moment, however!

NS - I love your thoughtful posts. I actually remember your thoughtful posts even from when you were first starting (and I lurked through January/Feb last year). You seem to know the right thing to say at the right time.

I am off to do laundry and help with homework. I will check in later as it makes me feel much better to read and post here when I'm in a funk. Thanks to all of you, and I hope you're having wonderful evenings/mornings. xo.

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

X post, J-Vo. Joining the gym is a good thing, but going is even better! :H

[HumbleRider]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Just a quick check-in. I've been out of town at a fundraiser today after only getting 3 hours of sleep last night. Arghhhh.

I'm so tired I'm cross-eyed, which is why I am identifying with J-vo and Dottie on the irritating husband routine. I was about ready to strangle mine on the way home today, and I am sure the feeling was mutual.

FF, I do identify with your post. Pav is right, this is a thread full of determination and purpose.

Have a great AF MAE all.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

FreeFly;1599311 wrote: Hi NS,

Well I think my brain is not engaged in the seriousness of abstinence if I?m honest. When I found this thread I really liked its intention and it did feel exactly where I wanted to be ? serious and focused in at last kicking the habit. I was doing ok, crossed the first milestone of works? do effortlessly, and then the spontaneous friend dinner blew that one. I think I remember you saying that the cocktail parties hold no interest for you. Again, me in a nutshell. I find those occasions easy to stay sober ? they bore me. What I do find challenging is good friend suppers. I don?t have loads of friends but a few good ones (bit of a loner really). My friends are not ?lushes? and don?t experience the same problems with alcohol that I do, and know nothing of my struggle. I still do enjoy sharing a bottle with them. Trouble is I don?t stop. If I?ve been out, I either pick one up on the way home or think the next day, well I?ve started, so may as well get in a ?private? session to make my ?slip? worthwhile. F***ed up eh! The other trigger is anything emotional, I cave quickly. I enjoy my sober time and that is far more than I ever had before I arrived at MWO. And I really, really enjoy it ? I like myself, everything falls into place, synchronicities are abundant and happen effortlessly and surprisingly quickly. Then I blow it all again. The endless hamster wheel. The one thing I do think however, is that change is not linear. I see it more like a spinning top ? arriving in different places and building on the changes already made. I don?t feel the same distress I did before because I can see change but I am so fed up of hurting myself. I want to love myself, not just like myself.

Available, I hope I can get my mindset to where yours is. Well done you on that one.

Hello to all you other lovely ladies. I've yet to read back

Thanks for listening
FF:l

Hi, FF

Being honest with yourself is critical, IMO. Having lied to myself for years about the seriousness of my problem, I finally started telling the truth here and it has made all the difference. You do need to take this very seriously if you truly want to be done drinking - make it one of your top priorities. In fact, it should be #1 after you meet all absolute obligations. You'll need to have a good plan (and a back-up plan) in place for those emotional triggers because there is no escaping those!

So I'll be honest with you: I no longer really enjoy going out with my friends to chat and have a couple of drinks. It is different when one person is being brought soda waters while the others are sharing a bottle of wine. The conversations about what to order and how good it is are awkward when one person is left out. My not drinking makes them more aware of how much they are drinking and there are a lot of comments about that (not by me!). This is something that I used to enjoy that I for the most part have lost. AND IT HAS TOTALLY BEEN WORTH THE PRICE! If these women had been mere drinking buddies, I suppose I would have lost them, too, but they are much more than that - we all care about one another and have long shared histories. I bet you also will not lose your good friends - the suppers might be different and other, non-drinking activities might become more important. Things change but if you look at your life as a whole, the gains far outweigh the losses.

I agree with you that progress is not always (or even usually) linear. I was writing elsewhere that I had 3 fabulous 10-14 day completely AF vacations in 2012 ---- but I fell back into familiar patterns shortly after returning home each time. But really, those were huge accomplishments and showed me what was possible and how good and easy life could be if i would just stop drinking completely. I think those experiences helped me make this commitment when I found MWO in 2013.

Use the strength you've gained from the progress you have made to take that next step. And the don't look back and second guess your choice. For any of us who have found our way here, not drinking is the right decision.

I hope you stay with this thread, FF. There are several great people here that share the same goal - to live the best way we can.

:h NS

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NoSugar;1599427 wrote: Hi, FF

Being honest with yourself is critical, IMO. Having lied to myself for years about the seriousness of my problem, I finally started telling the truth here and it has made all the difference. You do need to take this very seriously if you truly want to be done drinking - make it one of your top priorities. In fact, it should be #1 after you meet all absolute obligations. You'll need to have a good plan (and a back-up plan) in place for those emotional triggers because there is no escaping those!

:h NS

Another gem, NS. Telling myself the truth here (and at my counseling sessions) HAS made all the difference. If I am truthful with myself I know there is no other choice than to quit alcohol.

I am feeling better tonight but not perfect. What I just posted in the nest is that it feels good to have had all of that sadness and anxiety and made it through without reaching for the bottle. Builds the muscle of making it through all of those emotions without the crutch of alcohol, and makes me feel stronger.

And instead of reaching out for the bottle, I reached out here and got all of the support I needed in just the act of thinking about my feelings and writing them down, but more importantly in my responses from you all. Again and as usual, I am grateful for you all!

Off to bed. I am looking forward to starting the week without a hangover or the residual regret from a bad Saturday night. Day 14, sleep tight.

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Afternoon all, well afternoon for me.

SL merlot candles have not seen them here, wonder if they have sauv blanc fragrance, not that i could burn a wine smell, blah. I enjoy being single atm, the first year was lonely but after that i realised i did not need a man but i also had my best friend at the time al. Now both are gone and I am happy, a big whole happy!

I can hear you Pav, the thought of not drinking is scary so i try not to think about it. I know the thoughts will change eventually. When i was driving to work today i thought about when the al thoughts would stop. Normal people i am sure dont constantly think of al. Oh to be at that normal stage. I'm not fanatically thinking about it but its there. This course i went to they use soy was which is all natural and melt a chunk in a rice cooker (great idea instead of a saucepan) then you add the colour and fragrance at different stages and pour it into moulds and thats it. I figure its not rocket science and i can do it, well when i have a bit of money but thinking it may be my xmas present to myself.

Humble hello, why 3 hours sleep lovey? I would love 8 solid hours but my body only wants to give me about 5 to 6. Its a great sleep but oh i am at that bone weary tired stage. Just yell at hubby, i dont think they really listen anyways i know mine didnt listen at all for 17 years. Just nodded at me and carried on his merry way.

Jvo I can just see us hovering over an ocean somewhere all having a chat, wouldnt that be wonderful to all meet up with the people are here for us sometimes more than friends and family who we are in constant contact with. If only!!!!!! Ive been eating a lot too and not the good stuff but like you i am going to worry about that after xmas. Joining a gym, now i have been wary of that as i figure $1000 to join a gym for a year, go twice, $500 per visit, very very expensive.

NS hello hello and another great post that is so very true. In 2011 i got to rock bottom and googled drinking site or something, not sure pissed at the time but i knew i had to do something. I thought coming on here would be the magical cure. Post on here, not drink, thats it, done. Oh how wrong i was, i was still fighting my demons and only i could really help myself. Skip two years and drinking not going well and back I came. It must have been time, i must have been ready. The battle still continues but I am winning the war and we need to realise in ourselves that it has to be done and it takes a whole lot of work to conquer al. I would never have had the determination or will power to do this by myself, thats why i just love you guys for all the support you give.

Dot how are you lovely, i hope you had some you time and got your pedi.

Oh guess who is getting a juicer from the children? Woo hoo, now i will be asking for recipes, well boxing day i will be. So over fizzy drinks and copious cups of coffee and water.

Someone posted in the NN today about some doco's they watched so i will try and find them shortly and post them on here. Pav it has the one you asked about that i have forgotten.

Take care girls.

Where has K9 gone? Come back please

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

A bit of watching for us if anyone interested. I have used most of my downloads this month already when i fanatically watched all the al movies and doco's i could. Pav the first one is the one about younger people.

Cherry Healey - Old Before My Time - Alcohol Documentary
UTTERLY ADDICTED TO ALCOHOL (documentary)
Alcohol Will Kill You - Full Documentary
Beating Addiction (Classic Documentary)
Intervention CANADA || S01 E12 - Tracy - Alcoholic
Intervention CANADA || S02 E13 - Allisha - Alcoholic, Dilaudid Addi
Alcohol: True Stories
The Roots of Addiction

[Guitarista]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hiya Cougars!

Thanks for those doco titles Ava. Gym is good. But remember, there's the free gym outside the door. Free walking, jogging, push-ups, sit-ups, stretches. All sorts of great workouts we can do in a park or along a street. Here, some of our university's have their fitness facilities open to the public at student subsidised rates. Either way, shake it Cougar's!

Merlot candles?!

Let me know if y'all are heading this way and i'll notify air traffic control to ensure smooth passage.

[K9Lover]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Ladies and G!

I am here! I normally take the weekends "off" from technology...everything except Netflix! Sorry about going AWOL on you...I was thinking of you though!

Was just catching up but need to read back more. Wine flavored candles eh? I just saw that. I LOVE candles too. Like some of you guys, I'm still looking for a hobby to fill the time, something I really love doing. I can't just watch Sons Of Anarchy all the time. LOL

Everyone have a good monday (ugh) and hopefully we all have some well-deserved time off next week! YAY.

Be back later!

Love,
K9

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

MAE Ladies and G-man!

It's amazing how our bodies adapt to a new week after not abusing it all weekend! Resiliency at its best. But even though that's good my mod has been wavering due to some work issues. What i need to remember is that, in the end, I can only do what i can do. I can't control what others do, so let it go.
And yes, a lower tolerance at this time of the year, as there's so much to do besides your regular "stuff." We'll get through it.

Humble, what fundraiser did you do yesterday? I'm with you on the husband thing.

NS what a wonderful post. The "friends" thing...I know I won't be going out to bars Fridays after work anymore (unless dinner is included and not just over drinks). But a few of my very close friends know my situation, and they're still near and dear to me. They're happy for me, as we care about one another. Age has lots to do with it as well.

Available, you sound happy my friend! Oh, my gym costs 30 per month - not a year contract, so I'm going to give it a go. Thanks for the list of documentaries. I like watching intervention.

Ladies, talk to ya later!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

G-man, outside is out of the question for exercise. It's 20 degrees here and I'm a big baby when it comes to cold!

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

MAE all, been quiet on here. I miss Pat and our chats at night which help me through sigh. Last night i was reading some threads and clicked on one. Did not realise it was on modding. Wow that got my head going with the thoughts of gee maybe i can do that. The plan started straight away on how i could just do this sensibly, this modding. I didnt want to start last night but the thoughts were there. This bloody al brain took all its will power and self talking to not be so bloody stupid, i have tried modding very unsuccessfully and so why should it be any different now. This is why i miss pat lol. Then i was talking to my son about mundane things and thought why would i do this again and again, my children are proud of their non drinking mum. It was a wake up call that I need to be vigilant. So i woke up to yet another af day and brain and body and for that i am grateful.

Glad you are back K9, its hard to find something that we really enjoy doing and i did enjoy this. i figure while the wax cools it gives me time to watch shows and come on mwo. Its not something i will have to do for hours at a time without a break before boredom sets in. Maybe after watching 8 series of Dexter i will download SOA, i have heard it is brilliant.

Jvo $30 i could handle but no gyms are that cheap hear though i did like Mr G's comment on Uni's but god they are all so young sigh..... Can i use the excuse it is 20 here too i wonder. 40 celcius on thursday, i am going to die!

Getting to Friday keeps me focused this week. Take care and be safe everyone x

I will not drink today

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Okay, typos are no big deal but until I realized this was one, I was pretty freaked out, Ms. J-Vo! :H

j-vo;1599563 wrote: But even though that's good my mod has been wavering due to some work issues.
WHAT IN THE HECK MOD IS SHE TALKING ABOUT???? But MOOD, yeah moods can go all over the place. That's ok .

Then ON TOP OF THAT, I found out Ava has been hanging out with the modders!:
available;1599588 wrote: Last night i was reading some threads and clicked on one. Did not realise it was on modding. Wow that got my head going with the thoughts of gee maybe i can do that. The plan started straight away on how i could just do this sensibly, this modding. I didnt want to start last night but the thoughts were there. This bloody al brain took all its will power and self talking to not be so bloody stupid, i have tried modding very unsuccessfully and so why should it be any different now.

I had to stay out of those threads! That might be working for the people who post there and more power to them but I don't even want to hear about "how to moderate"! Why in the world would I want to choose every day whether to drink or not? It is so much easier to go with a permanent "NOT"!

I should give you guys some of my hobbies - I have too many! It's good, though, because I'm never bored. So, if you don't have something you like to putter around with and be creative, finding an outlet like that is a great thing. It keeps your mind and fingers too busy to get into any mischief .

Hope you're all having a good AF day! xx - NS

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NS what are your hobbies...I might get some good ideas.