Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[HumbleRider]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Pav,
That is an interesting question. I hope everyone weighs in. I will more tomorrow, but for now I can say that some of the steps make inherent sense to me and some don't. Women for Sobriety supports a different set of 13 statements, which seem to be more positively present and future oriented, promoting growth emotionally and spiritually, and I like a lot of those. We here have culled our own spoken and unspoken steps/statements that help us to remain sober, aware, and present in the moment. Now I'm going to sleep, I'm beat. Have a good MAE all.

[HumbleRider]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Here is the WFS program. I was struck by how much the focus differs from the AA steps.


WFS “New Life” Acceptance Program
I have a life-threatening problem that once had me.
I now take charge of my life and my disease. I accept the responsibility.
Negative thoughts destroy only myself.
My first conscious sober act must be to remove negativity from my life.
Happiness is a habit I will develop.
Happiness is created, not waited for.
Problems bother me only to the degree I permit them to.
I now better understand my problems and do not permit problems to overwhelm me.
I am what I think.
I am a capable, competent, caring, compassionate woman.
Life can be ordinary or it can be great.
Greatness is mine by a conscious effort.
Love can change the course of my world.
Caring becomes all important.
The fundamental object of life is emotional and spiritual growth.
Daily I put my life into a proper order, knowing which are the priorities.
The past is gone forever.
No longer will I be victimized by the past. I am a new person.
All love given returns.
I will learn to know that others love me.
Enthusiasm is my daily exercise.
I treasure all moments of my new life.
I am a competent woman and have much to give life.
This is what I am and I shall know it always.
I am responsible for myself and for my actions.
I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts, and my life.
To make the Program effective for you, arise each morning fifteen minutes earlier than usual and go over the Thirteen Affirmations. Then begin to think about each one by itself. Take one Statement and use it consciously all day. At the end of the day review the use of it and what effects it had that day for you and your actions.
(c) 1976, 1987, 1993, 2011

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Wow, I really like this HumbleRider. Thanks for posting.

[DreamThinkDo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

HR, I can really identify with the WfS affirmations - thanks so much for posting it.

Lovely day to all the Loamers

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Giraffe if you need them then take them, i figure i take xanax occasionally and it was more when i was drinking as i was shaking all the time, wasnt the al i was drinking though, so i told myself! I was never that bad so i feel for you and Jvo. About once a year i have really bad panic attacks and they crucify me with their intensity.

River nearly 2 weeks go girl. I was so moody, hated everybody they just pissed me off breathing but it gets better. I think i was cranky as i knew i could never drink again and i had to accept that and as people say it is like grieving the death of someone giving up al. I totally agree with that.

SL i want to know where my money has gone too as i still never seem to have any either. I think mine goes on soft drinks and lollies now and coffee. I'm exhausted too, today i am tireder than Monday, oh well will live.

NS I cant think of a single good thing about drinking in the last year or so especially. Sure I still miss al but I wont put any inside me.

Dot do you go out much in winter as god it sounds cold where u are? My dogs hate winter here and it only gets to -3. they have a special "wee" spot.

Oh Pav, i was so happy to see everyones posts. i can so relate to that drool spot, hate that when your face sticks to the pillow! Totally glamorous look. No you will NEVER be in front of me girl. I would call you babe but thats my special word!. With your AA question I found it hard putting one step in front of the other in the early days, I dont feel that steps would help me stop drinking, it was me, myself and I that made the ultimate decision. Do people who have hurt us go out of their way to make amends with us, why should it be different for alcoholics. We should move forward with life, the past is the past so everyone says and i totally agree. I think i went on the AA site once and that was it, different things work for different people, i know it was not for me. I dont really like structure like AA, i would prefer the structure of here as i can express myself how i want and giving up al is all about me and my children. Not sure if any of that makes sense.

Humble what an excellent post, I am going to keep that one for sure as it is how we should fee, she should not knock ourselves around on what we have done, we can only move forward and know that we are good people and we need to realise that and take it by the horns. But i am so not getting up 15 minutes earlier!

To whom i have not said hello too hello! I want to go to sleep now but it is only 7pm and that is dangerous for me as i will wake at 2am and you will get more posts!

[giraffe1234]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanx all for the good advice and support.

HumbleRider - I copied the WFS affirmations to print out; want to keep several copies around to read randomly throughout the day, every day. Thank you for that; it's something i can really really relate to.

Have a great day everyone!

[acadiaofmaine]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Everyone,

Narilly, Pav, thanks for checking up on me. I have been reading everyone's posts-you all are doing great! I had a hard time over the holidays, but am back on track!

Still going to AA. I have mixed feelings about it-mostly positive ones, but not totally. I am having trouble with feeling shame at having to go and not doing perfectly. It's sort of an all or nothing situation there, even though I see that some people slip and the group is supportive. I just don't know! I think I need an attitude adjustment.

I have read some of the WFS books, they are good. Also just read Lit, by Mary Karr, which is an excellent novel/memoir about a woman/mother alcoholic. She ultimately embraces AA which is a huge surprise to her, but even if one doesn't go for AA, it's still a wonderful book. I"d recommend it highly!

So, I will try to post more here. It's a great place. I feel bad about being so far behind, though, and often wonder, what the hell is wrong with me?

Have a great day everyone, stay warm. New York is brutal today!

Ann

[Starfish1]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks for all the thoughts, ladies :l

My daughter did NOT come home yesterday, as she had said....more lies :upset:

I am having some good days and some bad days...I put my finger on a definite trigger yesterday and that is my work environment. How in the world do you avoid that one when you can't quit your job? It seems to be a huge trigger for me.

Also, whoever was asking about the AA "asking forgiveness" step- (sorry, I can't remember who that was)- I have trouble with that also. I don't have a problem at all when asking forgiveness for something I have been "discovered" doing...but if no one has been hurt by my wrong-doing, then why would I ask forgiveness for that? It seems I would only hurt and worry them by bringing up the subject IMHO.

Love you all, and thanks again for the thoughts and prayers. I am at my wits end with the dtr.

[Dottie Belle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi ladies,
I love WFS..I read and post on their site too. I prefer their steps to AA. I pick what works for me.
Available this is very unusual weather for Ohio..it is not this cold. Weather folks say we are 30 degrees below normal...global warming...boohiss...
I am staying in and try to get something done...laundry or something..must go out tomorrow for a commitment and they say it will be up to freezing..we shall see..

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

HumbleRider;1609269 wrote: Pav,
That is an interesting question. I hope everyone weighs in. I will more tomorrow, but for now I can say that some of the steps make inherent sense to me and some don't. Women for Sobriety supports a different set of 13 statements, which seem to be more positively present and future oriented, promoting growth emotionally and spiritually, and I like a lot of those. We here have culled our own spoken and unspoken steps/statements that help us to remain sober, aware, and present in the moment. Now I'm going to sleep, I'm beat. Have a good MAE all.

HR, first, congratulations on 65! How great! And I agree that some steps make more sense than others. I attended AA three years ago for 6 months 3x per week and that wasn't enough as my sponsor said I wasn't working as good a program as her other sponsee. I got too many negatives from the program although they say, take what you can and leave the rest. I'm glad I had the experience, as that was another attempt at being sober, and glad to have some of the things that I learned tucked away in a safe place. I have a hard time with a positive self-image of myself, and it seemed as though I just became more down on myself as I had to keep remembering my faults, my selfishness, as they say, and it was something that ironically hurt me instead of help me. But everyone is different and our needs differ as our individual programs.

I love the 13 affirmations, HR, and I also have copied and pasted. I think this is a great exercise for me to do daily or weekly (don't want to stress myself out) to make myself more aware of those voices in my head, to be nicer to myself, care for myself, and know I'm deserving as God intended me to be. So, thank you for that list!:l

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Ann - welcome back!! So good to see you.
Got some better sleep last night - need some more though, my alarm is way too obnoxious!
Hey - woke this morning - i think that we have all had the drinking ones - I had a non drinking one - I dreamt that I was posting that I had wine in the house and was NOT drinking - so excited with myself - I do NOT have wine in the house and not going there for sure, but thought it was interesting the way my thoughts - concious and sub-concious seem to be turning - hope that this lasts!
Well, at work - on conf call and not paying attention - so need to get back to it!
Star - work remains a trigger for me as well - and not one I can change. Sorry about your daughter....

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

To all the Loamers experiencing this major freeze, stay warm!. It's 0 degrees F and wow, I can't remember the last time it was like this.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Star, so sorry about your daughter not returning. Try to take care of yourself and remember what a wonderful person you are. Refer to the list Humble posted. I'm going to try and incorporate that into my life.

Acadia, welcome back! I loved "Lit" by Mary Karr. Excellent read.

SL, that's huge, your dream!

[Starfish1]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks!

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hello Ladies!
OMG Humble, that post is awesome! I put it on a word document and am gonna print a bunch of copies like Giraffe. Those are way better (for me) than the AA ones. Pav, I could never relate to the 12 steps. They are so 'wierd' for me. I have gone to AA quite a few times and it is good to hear to stories and have some people to relate to but I never felt I quite fit in.
I wish all of us could meet, we would be a Rock Star Group!

The step about apologizing....Like I am going to go around apologizing FFS! AND I do not like the whole "I am powerless" saying. I am not powerless, I can say NO to AL.

DTD, El, Dottie, J-Vo, Eloise, these affirmations are awesome I agree.

Acadia, nice to hear from you sista! I was going to buy the Mary Karr book "Lit" the other day but I bought so many books on Amazon that day my Visa was going to explode. Next time I will be buying that one. Ya, the holidays were tough on a lot of us. I am with you on that.

Star- Sorry about the stuff you are going through with your daughter, wish I could help.

When I walk to work and back home everyday I am going to read those affirmations. I think they are really good. Today I am meeting with my counsellor and am going to show her that list. I am sure she knows about WFS.

Thank you ladies for being here for me. You have really helped me. I still have those thoughts but with the help of all of you I push them aside. It is definitely one tool (a big tool) in my tool box.
Not that you ladies are tools....don't get me wrong

Well, back to work and I am going to check out that WFS website.

Hugs,