Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Mof3 I'm looking forward to getting to know you a bit. :l
LC enjoy that time with your girls. It's wonderful you can have this time.
Ginger you pup is beautiful. And the water is wonderful. I love rooting around the edges looking for critters.
J-vo I have been hit hard with a flu. 3 days of missed work and money. Kind of devastating for me. They were my money jobs. I was wishing for some time off with nothing to do but NOT like this.

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Momof3, I hate the blah's. I think Day 1 is always that sort of day. But you are doing the right things with Tylenol, juicing, healthy food. I'm so sorry to hear about your cat-- I've lost a couple, one when I moved and it is very sad to lose those little loved ones. :l Like you said, your most important jobs right now are 1. taking care of yourself so that you can 2. take care of your 3 kids. It seems like a great idea, if possible, to limit the time and energy you spend on your mother. If she's someone who brings you down, maybe you can avoid her for the next few days..? It's so important to your recovery to be around people who support you right now and think you're great... Glad you're here with us!

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

NS, I always forget, but love how you always say we should take care of ourselves the way we would if one of our children was ill. It's so much easier for me if I imagine I'm taking care of a very sick 9 year old. Most of us are terrible at really taking care of ourselves AND at accepting the help and care of our loved ones.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

lifechange;1681536 wrote: NS, I always forget, but love how you always say we should take care of ourselves the way we would if one of our children was ill. It's so much easier for me if I imagine I'm taking care of a very sick 9 year old. Most of us are terrible at really taking care of ourselves AND at accepting the help and care of our loved ones.

I know! Crazy, isn't it?? My daughter is amazingly good at self-care and my first thought is often that she is being self-indulgent or lazy and then I step back and realize how smart and mentally healthy she is. She is good at setting boundaries, unplugging, resting when needed, walking away from situations, admitting when she is overwhelmed --- she's my role model in this arena.

[Kailey]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Having a surprisingly easy day today. I expected it to be tougher. I think the fact that it's about a million degrees outside and I have no desire to sit out on my patio (my typical Friday night haunt) is helping!

[Kailey]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I made it home wine free. In some ways it could have gone either way. There were times in the late afternoon that I momentarily decided I would by a "small" (aka regular sized) bottle of wine. But I didn't. I'm home eating a nice healthy dinner. I've already decided though that if I feel like I just can't take it, the diet just may go by the wayside tonight.

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Kailey my diet went by the wayside for quite awhile while just concentrated on staying sober. I'm glad you made it home. Every time I had to shop at the store I imagined the bottles of alcohol were venomous snakes and I would get bitten if I touched one. I am terribly afraid of poisonous snakes and it really worked. I still get a little scared walking down the beer isle at the grocery store.

[daisy45]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Kailey, good for you! If I were to think of having a drink, even now, I know that I would never buy a small bottle....it would be a bottle of wine and a second just in case....and we all know where 'just in case' ends!
I suppose it is about getting real with yourself and knowing yourself.....then accepting it.
Accepting how we now choose to live means changes, then accepting them. Acceptance brings about an easier sobriety......the options for me are 'drink' or 'don't drink'......I always have a choice.....choosing wisely is the key.

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Mr G i have threatened myself for years to leave where i work and this was the straw that broke the camels back. Why people need to throw their authority around is beyond me, it does certainly not gain any respect from me to that person. The amusing part for me is that she knows she has done wrong and there is nothing she can do to make it right, she can try and turn the words around which i am sure she will but i can wake up in the morning knowing i have not intentionally been a bitch to anyone (well not in the last few days). I went and introduced myself to a department that is looking for a new secretary and if that falls through then there is casual work and for me to be happy and content i will do anything really.

Thanks guys for your input. Kailey at least you realise what is happening, this woman has just come back from maternity leave and wants us to realise who is 2nd in charge and throw her authority around. ffs its work not a jail. I found out that she was the one moving my computer. I am not one of her children that can be bullied and i wont tolerate that either. I am happy in myself that i am doing the right thing and at the end of the day i will thank her for pushing me in the right direction. Now that should piss her right off.

LB i hope you feel better soon. I took Paracetamol and anti inflammatories at the same time as apparently that helps so the chemist said. I am getting a cold but it just feels like a cold atm. Its funny, on Friday this woman and one of my village idiots (who she barely speaks to) had a bet on whether i would be in at work and of course i won by turning up but in my drinking days i would have come home in such anger and hatred and bitterness and drank and drank to wake up and have the fark its. Yesterday i woke up, didnt want to go to work but knew i could not give her the satisfaction of calling and saying i was sick. Now that made me feel farking great and annoyed the crap out of her as she didnt win again. Its the little things in life that make you feel good ha ha.

Kailey just take it one day at a time and get through that day. I remember my early days and i drove myself nuts talking myself out of drinking and god it was so hard but the sense of knowing i did not drink and coming on here knowing i did not have to post i had drank was a big positive. Being accountable is a huge thing and i could not let anyone down that was helping me as it does take time and effort on everyones part.

Mom, i always thought i could be the ONLY one that could moderate. I thought i had given up for a week or two, i was okay, i could handle one or two drinks, no problem. Fast forward and i moderated and i failed dismally. That annoyed me, i wanted to be the one that could moderate. When i accepted that i could never drink again then i felt peace. I know now i can never have one drink, its not in my genes to be able to be a normal drinker, i am an alcoholic, i am addicted. One is too many and 100 is not enough. I never understood that until i realised i was an addict. You are in a great place Mom. I have 4 grown up children and my daughter texted me the other day and told me how proud of me she was after watching a tv program on a woman in rehab who was a 3 bottle a day drinker and she thought of me. Not the best way to be thought of but for her to say what she did has made this journey so worthwhile.

Jvo i will be the swearing one thank you. I am sure you can gather what my favourite word is!

LC happy 14th, i was bought to tears by what you and your partner talked about, this is why we dont drink and this is why we cant drink ever. I know normal drinkers dont get how hard it is sometimes on a daily basis not to drink and they certainly dont know the internal battles we have within and as i said to my daughter, each day is different in an alcoholics life, some days are easy and some days it is so hard not to take that first drink.

El, you are officially banned from going to the modding threads by the loamers. I went on there once and OMG i so wanted to be in that thread but then logical Linda knew that that would end very very badly. The planning exhausts me, i am not a planner, i am more a spur of the moment person so i could not even let the thought enter my head. BANNED or BRICKED by Ava, your choice El.

Ginger you will be okay being away, just think of us! That used to keep me grounded, actually scared the shite out of me thinking i may have failed the loamers. We have some great numbers for threads on MWO and that is a great reward for us all.

Pav, i am great thanks, being in the now and sober has helped me get through the last few days. I am a good person, i know that now, i deserve to be treated with respect, i know that now and i am totally sober and had no urge whatsoever to drink AT anyone. She has the problem, not me!

NS i hope you have a lovely trip away. You my lovely lady are a godsend on loamers and i just wanted to tell you that.

Well its Saturday here and i suppose i should have hung the washing out an hour or two ago but i didnt. oh well. I have booked in for an xray/ultrasound this thursday so instead of half an hour off work i will be having the day off which will be lovely. Damn life is great sober and i still think it cant possibly be me plodding along this road to freedom. I am going to try and teach Mia to knit this weekend, now that will be fun. Before i would have thought i needed to have a wine to have fun with her but now it will just be coffee and fun. She told me the other day she misses our wine days but for Mia she can take it or leave it and she knows what i am like. My children all prefer the sober mum they have now and i prefer the sober me. I keep reading the blogs put up and damn they all could be written about me, i know i was well and truly and alcoholic, still am but just not a drinking one.

Lots of love to the Gloamers. Sam did you pop in? Pop in again!

[Kailey]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

daisy45;1681634 wrote: Kailey, good for you! If I were to think of having a drink, even now, I know that I would never buy a small bottle....it would be a bottle of wine and a second just in case....and we all know where 'just in case' ends!

You are so right, Daisy. I think telling myself I would get a small bottle was just a way to justify it. By the time I got to the store, I'm sure I would have found some way to rationalize the big one. So glad that didn't happen!

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Kailey;1681623 wrote: I made it home wine free. In some ways it could have gone either way. There were times in the late afternoon that I momentarily decided I would by a "small" (aka regular sized) bottle of wine. But I didn't. I'm home eating a nice healthy dinner. I've already decided though that if I feel like I just can't take it, the diet just may go by the wayside tonight.

Kailey, so glad to hear you made it home wine free. I agree with Daisy - I think if it were me, opening the mental door (or liquor store door) to a "small bottle" would most likely have ended up with a much bigger purchase and thus much bigger consumption. Far better to nip it in the bud and take AL back off the table. If you have to blow something, blow your diet, not your quit!

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi all,

I'm going to have an early-to-bed evening, as I have to get up by 4:00 a.m. to leave for a day of paddling races about 3 hours away from my home. Many of my teammates are camping out tonight and tomorrow night, and I opted not to join them just to avoid any drinking. They will probably keep it low-key this eve since we have races all day tomorrow, but everyone has said that the Sat night after the races is always a big party with lots of teams all camping on the same beach. I know this isn't a good environment for me right now, and I don't want to risk my quit, but I'm still bummed about not going - about not feeling strong enough to join in. Fortunately, I'm not the only one who isn't camping, but it was still a hard decision as I'd really like to bond with my new team. Sigh... I will have to take advantage of other opportunities.

This situation has really made me think about how prevalent it is in many societies to incorporate alcohol into many types of group bonding experiences. It seems almost rare to find a group that bonds without alcohol, at least that has been the case in my life.

I have also been thinking a lot about how to handle the next team social event - whether to say I don't drink, or to fake it quietly by nursing tonic water with cranberry juice, or what. I'm not yet sure what will feel most comfortable, but it really strikes me that I seem to have such a concern about saying I don't drink. I've never been a smoker and have never had a problem stating that, never felt apologetic about it. Weird...

Regardless, tomorrow will be a grueling day with lots of hard physical activity. As recently as 3 months ago, this type of hard core paddling would have been impossible. I am choosing to view that progress as my reward for the hard work I've put into staying AF and getting fit and healthy again.

I probably won't have time to check in here on MWO at all tomorrow except maybe roll call - I'll be gone from 4am til 10 or 11pm, and I'm certain I'll fall into bed immediately when I get home. Hope you all have a fantastic MAE, and I'll catch up with you when it's Sunday here in the U.S.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

LB,
Hope you get better soon. DS has been sick all week with an inflamed colon. But he didn't lose money over it. Will you be able to do those jobs next week?

Kailey,
I ordered Antabuse, too, and I needed to take it once. Half of a pill. I'm glad i did because I felt so wobbly and scared I would drink. By the next day I was fine. I'm going to keep it and if I ever find myself in that situation, I'll not hesitate to take it. I hope you do too. And I"m so glad you made it through the day!!!!

Ava, as I was typing that, I knew you'd be the first to swear, the second and last!

Wag, the good thing is that you haven't known these women, and you can just say I was never a drinker. They don't have to know that you were and quit. And if you happen to get close with a few, after a long period of time and feel comfortable in telling the truth, then do it.

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

j-vo;1681674 wrote:

Wag, the good thing is that you haven't known these women, and you can just say I was never a drinker. They don't have to know that you were and quit. And if you happen to get close with a few, after a long period of time and feel comfortable in telling the truth, then do it.

Good point j-vo, you're absolutely right.

BTW, I keep forgetting to ask you if you've started the PiYo program yet, and if so how you like it. I'm really curious about it. I've been doing Insanity and P90X3 recently, and will be doing Asylum 1 starting next week (only on my non-paddling days). However, the PiYo program looks very interesting and might be something I'd try in the future. Any input?

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Good Morning, Friends!!

Kailey!! Way to go on making your Day 7 a complete one! I am so happy for you-- you will be so proud of yourself in the morning and set up for having a fantastic, AF day. Like Ava always says, even a not so great AF day is 100x better than a day of remorse, regret and shame-- which we all have when we decide to drink. You are well on your way again!!:flower:

How are you today, Momof3?

Ava, loved your farking post, as always. It always surprises me to hear such work stories. I feel pretty sorry for that woman-- anyone who has to make themselves so BIG at work has some problems with self esteem. I'm sure she's regretting her actions. And she's not getting the best of you-- I hope you get into a position you feel happy in. You are such an asset in your work place and you should be happy there. So nice to hear of you and Mia knitting together. I am so enjoying coffee and all the other drinks out there now that I'm not worrying about AL-- when I was drinking alcohol, I left all the caffeine out. Trying to balance it all out, you know??

ooops, pops is calling for our Sat. morning chat.. back in a bit..