Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Yes life is good when you are sober.
I think it's sad. People who don't drink, never drank don't worry about long explanations of why they don't. They just say I don't and that's it.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

That was an interesting article NS on Sober Coaches. That's another great alternative to getting sober. Getting a coach, and as some of these women said, they had to have their coach live with them for awhile. Well, lots of money there, but just another alternative and that's good to see. AA has so many old philosophies, which is one of the things that turned me off. However one can get and stay sober is a good thing. I'm going to look up Tamara Mellon's memoir, "In My Shoes." Thanks NS! Oh, something that she said about not being stuck in the past. I'm realizing that I still agonize over the past--what I did, and as recent as this past October, and all the way back. I need to work on letting the past go. I'm not sure how to do that. Anybody have some advice for that?

Mom3, glad you had a great day!!!! Sounded perfect.

Have a great night.

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Relaxation tea tip.

Hi guys.... Am up way to early but slept pretty well. I bought some new teas yesterday and would like to share. I thought I posted it yesterday but cannot find it. So, if anyone has already read it sorry.

Yogi Calm & Bedtime teas. I drank 2 pots of the calm yesterday while painting & felt it sort of helped to keep me focused? I am having a hard time getting to that entirely focused place while working. My mind continues to wonder too much.
The bedtime tea worked great, 2 cups and good night sweetheart!
I have some comments for later about the children of alcoholics podcast for later. Its a little early... 6:15... But feel good , refreshed... Not groogy... Or cranky... we did not see the super moon here, too overcast. Did anyone see or photograph it?

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Oh, and if anyone has fantastico relaxation teas they enjoy please share.....

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Good Morning and Happy Sunday, Ladies!!

ooops! wanted to write now, but it's time for lunch already! and I've got 3 hungry kids.. off for a falafel and will be back in a bit. Hope you're all doing well today--

[lifechange]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

They aren't quite ready so I have 15 minutes...

Eloise, I love the yogi teas, and also find that they help me to concentrate. Not drinking though, is the number one factor for me. I swear my mind was like a sieve these past months-- not only could I not concentrate, I couldn't remember anything. I also had the worst blackouts ever... Which podcast are you talking about? I would be very much interested-- is it one from the Bubble Hour? I'm so mad I missed the moon last night!! I saw it Friday and wanted to look out for it last night, but then fell to sleep so early. It will still be beautiful tonight, won't it?

J-vo, I just want to say again, how proud I am of you for holding strong on your vacation. Though I think it was extremely insensitive and rude of your SIL to talk behind your back and give you crazy looks :nutso:, if she's in the throes of alcohol, it's not surprising that she'd be lacking tact, awareness, empathy, etc., etc. -- I really hope she's able at some point to realise what's going on and find help for herself. I was wondering how your relationship with your MIL is?-- also, what did your DH say to his sister? I think you said he was very supportive of you.. You are so strong and in such a good place right now, J-vo!:l

WAGS! super looking forward to hearing how your paddling was! And how the interaction with the other people went..! You must be dog tired..

Wishing all you lovelies a wonderful Sunday-- Ginger, hope you arrived safely at the lake and are swimming in cool, refreshing water!

Kailey, how are you today? what are your plans for the day? and Momof3-- how was the BBQ? xo

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Good MAE everyone!

Mom3 - glad to hear about your success yesterday. Your insight that you are more tempted to drink when you are happy might really help you in the long run, as you'll be able to tailor your plan to anticipate that somewhat.

j-vo - thanks for the review of PiYo. It sounds great and I'm pretty sure I'll be trying it in the near future. I'm going to be starting Asylum 1 today, and will probably do Asylum 2 next, but I'm looking for something to do in the fall. PiYo might be a really good change of pace for me at that time. I'll look forward to updates as you move through the program.

As for letting go of the past, you might look into some books that bring even a slight buddhist perspective to sobriety specifically or life in general. I have found the following to be helpful:

The Power of Now (Eckhart Tolle)
Emotionally Free: Letting Go of the Past to Live in the Moment (David Viscott)
The Little Book of Letting Go (Hugh Prather)
Letting Go of the Person You Used to Be (Lama Surya Das)

I'm sure there are others, but these are ones I've used and will definitely revisit.

NS - interesting article! I'd rather have all of you as well

Kailey - this group is pretty awesome, isn't it? I so appreciate being here with all of you beautiful (g)loamers

little beagle;1681921 wrote:

People who don't drink, never drank don't worry about long explanations of why they don't. They just say I don't and that's it.

LB - I've been thinking about this very thing a lot lately as I get to know my paddling teammates. Even though most of what we do together is practicing and racing, there are also social and team building events, the frequency of which will increase after our racing season ends in early Oct. I definitely feel a certain pressure to have a really good reason or excuse for not drinking. I'm trying to figure out if that's my issue or if I feel peer pressure from them, but it's too soon to tell. Honestly, it's probably mostly my issue.

Eloise - I DID see the amazing moon - it was out yesterday morning while I was driving to my paddling event. I had the huge moon to the west and the sunrise to the east and felt completely surrounded by beauty.

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

El,
I've been having some issues myself with feeling my head is everywhere, going in all directions. I think I need to be recognize when I start doing this and stop and breath. I have the "calm" app and "relax lite" that Ava recommended. This helps anxiety. I just need to remember to use it at those times. I've also been waking up in the middle of the night and I start to worry about stupid things. Need to figure out a way to stop this! I'm so glad you're feeling great even though up early.

LC, my SIL is a very lacks any kind of empathy and understanding of anyone. She's extremely all about her and always has been. I don't have any hope for her as she's evil and doesn't have friends, gets kicked out of places because of her mouth. I will never have a relationship with her which is what I need to accept. I've always hoped and tried, but now I think I need to realize that I don't want a relationship with someone like that. She a toxic human being. And anyone that meets or knows her knows that. So I need to be civil when I see her which is not often and let it go. MIL and I have come a long way in our relationship. She knows how her daughter is and finally admits it. I can't remember what DH said to her. Have a super LC day!!!!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Wags,
We cross posted. Thanks for those recommendations. I'm definitely going to look into those. Thank you!!!!

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Ok, update about how things went with the paddling races and team interaction yesterday...

The good news is that we paddled very well overall - had several great races, but one kinda "meh" one. We missed getting into the finals by 2 tenths of a second. A little disappointing in that regard, but our last two races felt so strong and cohesive that we left feeling positive about everything over all.

It sounds like people who went camping didn't drink Fri night before the races (good), but they started talking about the Sat night festivities before we got halfway through the racing day. I heard and was part of multiple conversations where people started talking about the alcohol provisions they'd brought for the evening. One woman even had her first drink right after our last race (she wasn't driving to the campsite, but still...). She made a joking (?) comment that she thought maybe she's an alcoholic.

Anyway, my current strategy is to have good reasons I can't join in with these big drinking-focused events. I am also trying to join in on anything else that is a team bonding activity. For example, as a team we decided to jump in the lake (fully clothed) after our last race yesterday. It was a blazing hot day and it felt wonderful. We spent about 20-30 minutes jumping off the pier, having cannon ball contests, faking synchronized swimming formations, laughing, and having fun. A few people didn't join in, but probably 80% of the team did, and I was happy to be right in there with them. I can definitely do anything light-hearted and fun like that.

One additional bonus is that I overheard a conversation between two other women, and one of them was saying she's been sober for 21 years! So, although I didn't talk with her about it directly, I know there's at least one person who is totally AF, and I talked with another who said she drinks very little. At least I know I wouldn't be the only AF one if we have a team dinner or something.

I think my safest bet is to completely avoid the activities that are essentially drinking parties, and work up to joining things where alcohol is either not an issue or is just a side note. As I get more comfortable and confident with my quit, I'm sure I'll feel better about everything.

I do miss the brief "fun" period when everyone has had maybe their first or even second drink and is just slightly uninhibited (including me). I miss nothing after that, and I know myself well enough to realize that stopping after one or two drinks is almost impossible.

I'm thinking I should almost mentally position my situation as an allergy to alcohol. Has anyone ever framed it this way in their mind? Has it helped?

Well, sorry for the long post - I tend to write (and talk) a lot when I'm happy. Even though I didn't join the camping event, I'm feeling pretty happy, and am thrilled I'm not waking up with a hangover in a tent facing a 3-hour drive home this morning

[Kailey]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Quiet weekend around here and I am really enjoying spending it sober. Friday night was a little bit of a struggle, but last night was a breeze, and I don't expect tonight will be tough either. Unfortunately, I had to bring some work home, but not too much, so my plan is to do it while watching the World Cup finials. Every other minute I'll be out in my garden. Lots and lots of weeding to do, but I love it, it's so therapeutic! Happy, happy, happy! So glad I'm finally getting this right!

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

No time to write much just now but wanted to say hey & encourage Jvo to try the Yogi Calm tea.
I also heard the ladies on the Bubble Hour talking about Taos (i am getting that wrong) Calm tea is good for bedtime to. I have the name in my studio.. I will message you tomorrow.

I am feeling pretty strong just now... In my mind I mean... Not that I am feeling like lifting cars..
Great & long workout this morning...

The Bubble Hour is really getting me thinking in a positive direction. Instead of looking back and wondering why me... How u fair... I am looking forward ladies. Cannot thank you all enough for all the selfless support offerd every day. Off I go...best to all!!!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

El,
Yes, message me that brand. I'll try that before bed. Thanks!!! And isn't it great working out instead of being hungover?

Wags,
That sounded absolutely wonderful. I loved the idea of jumping in the water with clothes on. When I was drinking, I'd be the 20% that didn't jump in. Now, sounds fun. And you're finding out little bits about the women. This is a great new positive opportunity for you and sounds like lots of fun. Drinking isn't the main focus of the fun, which is why I think this group will rock for you. Glad you're feeling it!!!!

Nar, did I miss your post? Where are you? Maybe I didn't read close enough.

Have a great Sunday night all.

Ava, let us know how work goes today. Hugs girlie.

NS, we miss you.

Going to rent a movie but don't know what. Tomorrow up early. I'll have my basketball mom hat on for the next two weeks. basketball camp for the kiddies and the big kiddies and running it.

Love you guys!

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

It's great to see all of your positive posts! LC, for your BF to support you like that is beautiful. He must be willing to do whatever he can to help you not drink. Kailey, I hope your weekend remained calm and peaceful - such different experiences to numbed and dull. El, you sound so good! It's probably much easier to appreciate the many upsides of being AF when you don't have a splitting headache! Wags, it is a shame that alcohol is so central to many group activities (I was at quite the booze-fest last night) but that is the world most of us live in. At least the central reason for your group is something positive. Maybe you'll have a chance to get to know the long-term sober woman better. The thing you have in common is quite a bond for all of us, so it may be for you two, also.

Ava, I hope work life settles down (and that your brain does the same, J!).

I hope the "missing" gloamers are back on Monday - :hNS

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Not that it feels like I have weekend everyday now...but this was a great description of the al weekends vs. the sober weekends:

REMEMBER WHEN WEEKENDS SUCKED AND SLURPED ASS? | The Six Year Hangover