Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[daisy45]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

I know J-vo; and I am watching her doing things I have done myself......because she pulls me in to listen and then I give her my time and thoughts....then I find myself getting frustrated as it is repeat, repeat, repeat....so I am backing off....unfortunately I know she will have to hit her own 'low' and feel desperate enough to seek a way out - then I will be there

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi - having a wee read around and saw this.
For years I had been drinking too much and telling myself that I needed to cut back - I had all sorts of solutions - only drink certain days, or certain hours. I did not try to "moderate" - I did cut out all spirits and stick to just wine, and thought I was cured. My first step was to go to Moder8 in the hope that would make me a social drinker. Then I came here - again to be able to drink, just less - I am not sure I even knew what moderating was - I wasn't to continue but just not die of liver disease.
Since joining here I have learnt a TON! and know that I have to stop - but really all my true learning and self realization has occurred on MWO.....and it has taken me a good long while. I have posted on the moderators site, but never really seriously....I did read the book and think I had found heaven, but it didn't take too long of reading and posting in the nest that it became obvious that that really wouldn't work....
Good to see the Loamers sticking to the mission and making it work!

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Here's an interview with the woman Nar was talking about. It's a good one!

Mrs D Is Going Without - TV News Video | TVNZ

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

HI SL,
Yep, I was on Moder8 also!!! I tried everything! Good to see you and that you're doing well.

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Can I moderate? No. I would stop drinking, but had no support so of course I saw no real reason to not start again. I told myself over and over that I needed to get this under control, but with no idea of how to deal with the issue it was hopeless. I looked up supplements to help stop, found Kudzu which led to MWO. No Kudzu did not help stop drinking, but it did help my sore neck, a chinese remedy.
As far as the frustration of trying to help someone who refuses to help themselves, I have had that. I have no real answer to that dilemma. I know this is a personal journey, we must each find our own way. As many of you know I stay pretty close to LOAMers because I just don't have it in me to read about someone else drinking right now. When reading that they are drinking, I imagine myself having that first drink. I have decided I just don't need that temptation in my life right now. I have lived with the battle of addiction in my own home, in person, and tried to help my family members. Yes we are having some success, and some failure. SD is going home. She just can't stop. And I just can't live with an active addict. We are at an impasse All I can do is pray she will find Her way out someday. Hubby on the other hand is pulling out of his addiction. I really do believe it is because I have learned so much here and have been passing along this knowledge. Walking the walk, talking the talk, night and day.
I'm sorry NS. :l I hope this waffle helps answer your question.

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Good to see you SL

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi all,

Sounds like many people are off to good starts this week - always encouraging

Regarding the moderation topic/question raised by NS, I am certainly not one who has ever succeeded with moderation. I started drinking when I was about 15, and I went pretty much all out right from the beginning. I can't think of any period in my life where I was moderating - I've either been drinking significant amounts or totally abstaining. If I'm honest with myself (which I am right now), I don't think it's even remotely possible for me to moderate.

Do I wish I could moderate? Sometimes.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, LB. A :l back to you.

It is great to hear that you think your husband is making good progress. I'm very sorry about his daughter's situation but it is wonderful that you drew a line to protect yourself and it is being honored.

I enjoy your waffles - don't you just love that new (to us) word? :h NS

[narilly]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks for the link J-Vo, that was a great interview ith Mrs D. We have so much in common with her.

Interesting topic you opened up NS. So far I don't see any moderators in this group but then it is the abstaining thread!

Goodnight everyone
Xo

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, Ladies:

I'm back. A good visit with old friends, including the woman who's own confession to me about her drinking was the reason I really started taking a look at my own drinking. Even though my join date is close to my sober date, I spent an awful lot of time bouncing around until I eventually acknowledged my problem and asked for help. I believe I first read here back in 07 or something - I read a lot but was not at all open to the need to quit myself. I didn't even want to make commitments in the moderation threads because I didn't quite trust myself. I ventured away and as things got progressively worse, I KNEW I needed help. I started really following things around here in January 2013, right when NoSugar and Jenniech were posting. I gave up for a while, but as Robin William said, I kept breaking my standards faster than I could lower them.

In the video J-Vo posted (which was great, but I have to say that seeing the wine poured and the drinking pictures was a bit of a trigger for me, so beware), Mrs. D's husband says he could see it getting worse pretty quickly - that's how that last year was for me, in particular August to when I finally quit. I have no idea what would have happened to me had I not known about MWO, though. I was in no way ready to go to an in person meeting, and it was pretty obvious that if I continued to drink I would start to do REALLY stupid things. Thank goodness for this site and you wonderful people!

In a way, I have been moderating for a lot of my drinking career. I had to talk to myself about not drinking too much, paced myself with other drinkers, measured my drinks, went to all beer, went to only Vodka - whatever I could do to keep drinking but minimize my hangovers. Worked like a charm! I used to say "I don't have an off switch." Little did I know, I was really saying, "I am addicted to alcohol!"

The ladies on the Bubble Hour (especially Amanda) talk about talking about addiction in a non-shaming way. Instead of alcoholic they say addicted to alcohol - for some reason I like that better.

OK - I read Guts by Kristen Johnston while I was gone. As it turns out, it isn't much on the getting or staying sober but more about the events that lead to her quitting - quite a dramatic event that I know if I was reading before I quit I would be saying, "see, I'm ok. I'm no where near THAT bad..." I quick read with some keen insights, though.

LB - Sorry about SD - that must be very difficult for you all.

Ava - Good luck on your interview and your time off.

There is so much more I want to say to all of the great posts I have read while I was gone, but I'm not going to make it.

I'll be off on another long hike tomorrow - I am training for a three-day trek later in the summer.

xo
Pav

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

And hi, Nar. I see your green light on!

I was just talking with a friend about maybe heading to Canada for the women's World Cup next summer. Are you a soccer fan?

Pav

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Just to pipe in... I don't even want to think about the idea of moderating.
I need to be able to think clearly.
I think we are of the same mind set, more or less, about moderating. Nice if you can do it, I cannot and have the evidence of trying it so many times to end up in the same messy place in my mind. Enough.

HEY!!! Just realized I lost a day somewhere and we have arrived at July 16th!
Today is my 60th day AF. :moon:

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Good job Eloise. 60 days. Celebrate. Treat yourself.
Thank you Pav and NS. Yes I feel a bit defeated, but I have proven it CAN be done. Addiction is something we can overcome. She will leave here seeing that in 2 people.
Is this your day off Ava? Have a good one. Hope that you get that shoulder issue resolved.

[daisy45]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Eloise, so happy for you on 60 days! It does feel special to get there.....so happy you are here with me.....makes a difference to have a partner!

[patrice]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Fantastic on 60 days Eloise!!