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    Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

    So glad to see you're on day 60, Eloise!

    This is a recent post from the blog we were looking at last week. It is a good one for those of us who feel like we should have seen what was happening and controlled it before it was too late to rein in and be a "moderate drinker". Her conclusion echoes many of ours:
    It feels like an impossible question. There is no bright line. I don?t know when I should have turned back. I only know that I can?t go in the water again.

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      Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

      Eloise - Kudos on reaching 60 days!!! Seriously awesome girl! You know we're all doing the happy dance with you

      :banana:
      Everything you want is on the other side of fear.

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        Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

        Morning Loamers,

        Running a little late and might get fired from my concession stand job (no such luck) so just wanna say a few things... (and btw, I feel good about volunteering my time for my son's team. Really!)

        LB, I'm so glad you're doing well. And DH is well on his way. He's so lucky to have you and all the knowledge you can share with him. You've done so much for yourself and him. Love you!

        Pav, great read this morning. And I really loved with you posted in NN. If only people knew how many gifts recovery brings. I'm finding that out now, and life is getting better and better. I don't use the word alcoholic around anyone but you girls, but I do like the term "recovery."

        El, congratulations on your big 60!!! So happy for you. You've come such a long way and I can see the progress in your state of mind regarding the booze. You're really doing this the right way! So glad you decided to join us and walk with us.:goodjob::applaud::dancin::kudos:

        Off to work!!!
        Sometimes what you're most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.

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          Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

          El, Way to go!! 60 days! Yahoo!!!

          Pav, yes, I like soccer. I did watch a lot of the World Cup which was totally exciting! I don't know where the women's soccer is going to be held but let me know when you are arriving. I have a nice place for you to stay

          NS, thanks for the link, you are a wealth of information!

          Hey J-Vo, too bad you couldn't get fired from your concession stand job...lol.
          Actually, I was worried I was going to get laid off from work soon but it looks like I will be around until November for sure. Hopefully we get some more projects in the meantime and it will be ok. My hubby, on the other hand, was told to pick up his game or he would be gone. So that is a little stressful. He has been let go of so many jobs in his career. He is such a smart, hard working guy but he just has not found the perfect job for him. It is frustrating for both of us. He is an engineer and is well educated so his expectation was to have a better career than he has had.

          Anyway, I am worried about that because of the money thing but I know things will work out. They always do!

          Back to work
          Narilly

          "Nothing in this World Can take the place of Persistence"
          "You can have the life you want OR you can Drink"

          AF April 12, 2014

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            Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

            Thanks everyone for noticing my accomplishment.
            And an accomplishment it is!
            Really participating in this thread is indeed helping a lot, so thank you all. And I do not feel guilted in to not drinking, or worried about disappointing anyone. I am just working it. The Bubble Hour has been a real eye opener for me too.
            I listened to the children of alcoholics broadcast about 6 times now.
            I exhibit most of the characteristic they mention. This actually helps me so much to recall that although I went off to boarding school at 15 the real motivator was my mother's out of control binge drinking.
            My dad drank too but he was somehow not nearly as destructive as my mother.
            Anyhow. This past year I was not drinking every day, but too much when I did drink. Amazing how we can kid ourselves. It is 2 months now and I feel a lot more relaxed and ready to deal with things. I feel the need to hide less too.
            Checking in here every day and posting a little something or other keeps thing fresh.
            Let's continue to keep it fresh ladies & Sam!
            (AF since 17 May 2014) 2 years 5 months sober

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              Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

              narilly;1683114 wrote: El, Way to go!! 60 days! Yahoo!!!

              [COLOR=black]P
              My hubby, on the other hand, was told to pick up his game or he would be gone. So that is a little stressful. He has been let go of so many jobs in his career. He is such a smart, hard working guy but he just has not found the perfect job for him. It is frustrating for both of us. He is an engineer and is well educated so his expectation was to have a better career than he has had.

              Back to work
              My hd is struggling with his employment options at 50+. Super smart guy but not particularly focus about work. We just have to have faith they will find their way .... I think it will happen with time. Let's think positive!
              (AF since 17 May 2014) 2 years 5 months sober

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                Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                Thanks El! That made me feel a bit better.
                Narilly

                "Nothing in this World Can take the place of Persistence"
                "You can have the life you want OR you can Drink"

                AF April 12, 2014

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                  Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                  I missed you all today, Ladies!:upset:
                  That's what my day has looked like. After a morning that started off on the right foot, but turned as soon as we got out on the (bike) road, I felt for the first time like I could really do with a bottle of wine.:upset: I had a stupid dream last night where I decided it was worth it to drink and start over on day 1 -- and as I woke up, I was quite confused as to whether or not it had happened. But it somehow planted the seed. We've had so much tension, the girls with each other, the BF with me. I remember now from the last times, that although I am more than grateful for the support of my BF, there are things we have to work on with our communication. And even though I'm more than grateful, I don't have to put up with any old crap, right? So, of course with all the tension, my mind went to my old way of dealing. I thought about how nice it would be to zone out-- how much more relaxed I would be with them all-- because I wouldn't give a shit. I only seriously thought about it for about 3 minutes-- then I played it through to the end (thanks to all of you!), then the idea popped up now and again, but not with much strength. I KNOW I will not go down that path. I will NOT drink again. I know I've promised this to myself before, even saying that it's "different" this time. But this time it's really different!!

                  Your posts about moderating were so interesting. I related to all of them. The gist of my drinking career is that I began around 14 years old and from the beginning drank more than the others--often to passing out or puking. Through HS, through the University (which I didn't manage to finish, now looking back, mostly due to drinking)-- I thought up until just writing that sentence that I was a high functioning alcoholic, but I guess I meant in that I never lost a job or was thrown in jail. But I wasn't HF-- I didn't get a degree because of it, I moved constantly, couldn't find the right career, changed relationships-- I was mostly a binge drinker until about 4 years ago. Drinking often, but only getting really sick once or twice a week. I was having a lot of blackouts and began to worry. Tried AA-- tried lots of "moderating" without knowing the name for it. I signed on here almost exactly 3 years ago-- and like many of you mentioned, thought because moderation had a real name, it must be possible. I never took the supp's and never got in with the modders-- just tried to do it on my own. I remember trying often to get 30 days-- I don't remember if or how often I did. All I know, is that I wanted to be able to moderate the way "normal" people do. Without obsessing, without f******* up my rules and guidelines, with guilt-- each and every time I failed, it was like stabbing myself in the chest. But still I carried on with trying. Like J-vo said, no matter what anyone else said, I couldn't do it. It's not that I didn't respect the experiences of others, I just couldn't imagine never drinking again. It's so unfortunate that we all have to learn it for ourselves!! But I think it must be the only way to beat addiction- to live the hell..?
                  I am just beginning to feel like I can deal with the struggles of others-- like LB said, I had to stay away from the NN for a long time 'cause it got me down if I heard of others deciding to drink. Or it triggered me to want to drink. Right now, I am being very cautious, but I'm not feeling threatened by what other people are doing.
                  I AM feeling very supported here...I love this thread and all of you beautiful people.:h

                  Pat, I told NS this awhile ago when she had a bad cold-- and she had another method, which I can't remember.. but my Japanese co-worker SWEARS on hot foot baths. Any time I'm coming down with something or am sick, she says, "hot foot baths!"-- Soak your feet in water as hot as you can handle, several times a day and then put on socks! Keeping the feet warm is essential to getting well..:l Is your son old enough to help you out with things?

                  EL, YAYYYY!! on getting 60 days, 2 whole months under your belt. You are doing so well. Thanks for recommending the Bubble Hour on children of alcoholics. Somehow I missed that one.

                  I have you all in my heart.. Have to run off and get the kids to bed. I did manage a 6am run this morning which I will try to do again tomorrow-- at least the first 2 hours of the day were even -keeled!

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                    Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                    LC - Sorry to hear about your dream and how it started your day off on a weird note. Those dreams can be extremely realistic and disorienting, can't they? Good for you though on playing it to the end and realizing that you didn't want to go down that path and have some wine after all. That takes a lot of strength and self-awareness.

                    Thanks also for sharing your story and your efforts to moderate. I think we can all relate to some or more parts of each other's stories here, and it's helpful to hear others' thought processes.

                    Great job getting your run in this morning!
                    Everything you want is on the other side of fear.

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                      Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                      LC, your great post pointed out how skewed alcohol can make our thinking become:

                      lifechange;1683195 wrote: -- how much more relaxed I would be with them all-- because I wouldn't give a shit.I can totally relate to this feeling but how sad that we could equate being relaxed to not caring at all. True relaxation is when you're aware but content, I think.

                      Drinking often, but only getting really sick once or twice a week.
                      People who aren't addicted are mad at themselves if they ever overindulge and here we're happy if it isn't every dang night of the week!

                      It's so unfortunate that we all have to learn it for ourselves!! But I think it must be the only way to beat addiction- to live the hell..?
                      I think to a certain extent, we each do have to reinvent the wheel. But at some point I realized I had no ability to make a wheel and like I wrote yesterday in the NN, started doing what successful people did and when I asked them for advice, I followed it, even when it didn't seem like it possibly would work.

                      The cold remedy I heard about was to soak your feet in the hottest water possible before you went to bed and then put on cotton socks and go to bed. The cooling down of your feet and evaporation of the water is supposed to "pull out" the germs. I don't know if it really worked because I was on about day 3 of my cold and maybe it was passing anyway. I'm going to try to remember to give it a shot at the beginning of the next cold I get.

                      Hope everyone is doing well. xx, NS

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                        Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                        Hi Loamers

                        A huge congrats El on 60 days, i always think that my days never went as fast as you girls in racking up the days. My days seemed to go at a snails pace! Now i dont worry about the days as i know that each day i wont drink, i have no urge to drink and if a thought enters my little brain it normally goes as quick as it finds a brain cell. Really proud of you!

                        Jvo i just wanted to thank you for posting that interview with the NZ woman. I so related to how she felt, how al snuck into her life and how she started to prefer the bottle to her family. I had to laugh though when she stopped drinking that she was going to be "boring" and what did people do if they didnt drink? I know i felt that way, i mean what did people do? Oh they lived each day guilt free from al. I loved the way her hubs supported her and being a tv presenter as well. Its about time al was put in the open.

                        Now after watching this i searched for the program that Kiera watched and then sent me her lovely text. After watching that i was in tears that she finally realised from her perspective that her mother is an alcoholic and that it has not been easy to stop drinking. Sometimes it feels as if people are understanding this addiction more and other days not so. Listening to the news today they were saying how drinking consumption has gone down, people are drinking less than 4 drinks a day etc etc. now where do they get their statistics from. Do they now push it under the carpet as the statistics say we are drinking less? What about the functioning alkies, have they cut down their drinks. This then gets me from feeling happy and gooey to frustrated and annoyed.

                        Today i am having a day off and going to get my xray and see the drs. Rang work, got the answering machine of course as no one is at work at 8am and will have tomorrow off as well. I need to find a job i am happy with also but fingers crossed tomorrows job interview will work out and if not then something will come along. I have learnt to be a bit more patient now i am sober and i know i am employable. Ask me that when i was drinking though. So many positives off being sober.

                        Pat I hope you are feeling better girl. I remember when i was sick i still drank, god the memories of how i was slowly killing myself.

                        LC we will always have stress in our lives its just learning to deal with it without al that is the challenge and you know that drinking will serve no purpose except to throw all the crap at us the next day plus a few added extras like guilt and shame.

                        Hugs to everyone, better get going for the day. xxx
                        AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

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                          Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                          Hope tomorrow goes well Ava! Kick ass!
                          IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN
                          Relapse starts long before the drink is drunk!!.Fresh Start!

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                            Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                            Hi, All:

                            WAY TO GO, El! 60 days is awesome. I have gotten a lot out of listening to the Bubble Hour, and I?m glad you?re here on this thread, too.

                            Nar ? Sorry about DH and his job. That is definitely stressful ? I do think that ageism plays a part in older people being left out or nudged out of jobs. They?re not invited to be a part of something and then they get called out for not stepping up. I have seen it happen for sure. As for soccer ? I have no idea about it, but I?ll let you know. Don?t forget, though, I snore?

                            LC - Sorry about your day.

                            lifechange;1683195 wrote: But still I carried on with trying. Like J-vo said, no matter what anyone else said, I couldn't do it. It's not that I didn't respect the experiences of others, I just couldn't imagine never drinking again.
                            This was it for me, too, only I didn't join because I thought that lurking here would be enough information for me to be successful without having everyone nag me when I decided to moderate and unlike everyone else here I was SUCCESSFUL! Hah.

                            I am going to post this and go for round 2 because I am in a screen I can't get out of...

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                              Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                              Ava – Good luck on your job. What was the link from Kiera? Can you share it? So happy for your sobriety and your relationship with your kids!

                              NS – Thanks for that post. You always find the gems. I agree with her that if you are asking, it probably is a problem. I’m not sure I agree it is a non-fixable problem at that time (I am stubborn, after all) as I have seen some moms notice themselves drinking too much and pull back a bit. The problem is, I wasn’t very good at pulling back…

                              Wags – I see you posting – how are you?

                              Daisy? What’s up?

                              Jane – How is your trip going? It sounds like A1 decided to be nice? Maybe he actually IS enjoying himself.

                              Pat – I hope you feel better soon. I couldn’t get the wet sock trick, but zinc is supposed to shorten colds, and of course rest and fluids.

                              LB – Hope all is well. Any more summer travels coming up?

                              OK – Off to cook dinner, ladies. Music and a lovely glass of sparkling water and fresh orange juice. Yum.

                              Xo
                              Pav

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                                Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

                                Hi all,
                                Thanks for the advice on this flu thing.. It's day 4 and still feel so exhausted, taking extra zinc, I haven't been able to do a thing..
                                At least I'm not drinking.. Day 50 today
                                Xx
                                Patrice

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