Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[little beagle]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Daisy tried to send a pm but you are full.
Drinking is NOT WORTH IT. You can beat it.
J-vo I can be you early morning buddy. I still am getting up early and no I'm not really happy about it. But I'm conditioned for that now. Maybe practice the week before school starts then it won't be so hard on you? Changing your routine is hard on the body.
Pav I empathize with you. I went through a huge angry spell. Everything was just ticking me off. I think I was supressing too many negative emotions. Now I just say when I'm upset. Well mostly, but it's been helping.
glad you are home NS and had a REAL vacation. Ahhh to just relax and do fun stuff. I'm going to Pensacola over labor day. 5 whole days. Yeah.
Going for a motorcycle ride this morning, so I'd better get ready.
Have a great one gloamers.

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

daisy45;1691723 wrote: On what should have been day 90 for me I am day 1.........not much I can say except it was not worth it! Just gave me a glimpse of that version of me that I don't like, am not proud of.......am hoping I can get back before I lose complete control........
Sorry to have let you all down.....Pav.....I feel like shit!
Although I don't like the word, Daisy, a "slip" does not have to become a relapse. You do not have to let the addiction take you back to where you were 3 months ago.

Slip vs. Relapse | Alcohol Rehab

Relapse Defined
The word relapse originates from Latin and it means to slip back. It is most often used to describe the situation when an individual who has been sober for a period of time returns to alcohol or drug use. It does not matter if this individual has only been sober for weeks, months, years, or decades. If they return to substance abuse it will be referred to as a relapse.

Slip Defined
A slip refers to a situation where an individual briefly returns to alcohol or drug use but managed to stop again before they slip back into addiction. This can happen if the individual picked up again but automatically regretted the decision. It may have been something they did on the spur of the moment, and they have not fully lost their motivation to stay sober. If the person is able to do the right things they will be able to prevent a slip turning into a relapse.

The website has some good advice about keeping a slip a slip. One key point is to get some extra support. I hope you stay even closer, Daisy - you've got sober friends :hug:

[j-vo]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Daisy,
I know the feeling you're having. But I also like what NS posted in that there's a difference between a slip and full-blown relapse. Pick yourself up and move on. We'll get this together.

Pav, I must put into practice what you did. And it's true that it may be PAWS but it may also just be a bad mood. Sometimes I read too much into things, overanalyze which also gets me into trouble. Take it for what it was, just a bad mood that will pass.

LB, have a great ride! And you sooooo deserve that vacation to Pensacola. I know i should start waking up earlier and I'll do that this week. I have two weeks left, and I've got a good start on prepping but going to get more done.

Going to a flee market this morning with MIL. DH and BIL are already there. DH is in heaven as he loves this kind of thing, now he has a few tables of our stuff out. Gosh, he just texted me and he's lovin life right now...

Have a great day ladies and gent.

[scottish lass]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Daisy - so sorry! But this time you are back on day 1 immediately and that is just great! You will pick up again and keep on heading in the right direction! I am proud that you posted, be strong!

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

daisy45;1691723 wrote: On what should have been day 90 for me I am day 1.........not much I can say except it was not worth it! Just gave me a glimpse of that version of me that I don't like, am not proud of.......am hoping I can get back before I lose complete control........
Sorry to have let you all down.....Pav.....I feel like shit!

Oh Daisy, I'm so sorry to hear this. When I saw Day 1 by your name in roll call I was surprised and saddened for you (not disappointed, just sad because I was thinking about how you probably feel).

Don't let one day erase all of the tremendous progress you've made - maybe it resets your odometer but it doesn't erase your mileage.

As others have said very well, it's a slip not a relapse. Just put your head back down, learn what you can (sounds like you're already doing that) and move forward. We're here for you.

:huggy

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

wagmore;1691809 wrote:
Don't let one day erase all of the tremendous progress you've made - maybe it resets your odometer but it doesn't erase your mileage.

What a great visual, Wags! My car has the overall mileage tracker and the "trip" tracker. So maybe with a "slip" you have to reset the trip meter but 1 day is such a tiny percentage of the overall meter, you can just let that one keep running! An all out relapse, however, that went on for an extended period would mean you had to reset both. Just another reason to get right back with the program!!

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi, Everyone:

Excellent resource as usual, NS. I agree - it could just be a bad mood, and I am not putting too much on it, but it was an exceptionally bad mood that I don't usually have (and believe me, I have bad moods).

As for drinking - going to be honest here. It really throws me for a loop when someone here drinks. It feels like it is out of nowhere as you all seem so strong, and naturally it makes me think - oh, shit. If it happened to her/him it could happen to me. Of course, we are a group of alcoholics. We drink as a coping mechanism, automatically, without thought some times. Of course we love and support each other, even when someone chooses to drink. Or when someone's addiction chooses to drink for them. However, we are also here to prevent you from going back to the drink in the first place.

I don't really have a point except I hate the fact that alcohol is such a powerful and easily accessible drug that causes havoc in people's lives. I recently checked in on Ellie of the One Crafty Mother blog and one of the original Bubble Hour hosts. Her life and work were dedicated to sobriety. She relapsed (detailed here - she drank the vanilla extract in her pantry, which she talks about in detail on the Bubble Hour Relapse Prevention episode), and then we didn't hear from her again. In June she posted an update on her blog - she spent 60 days at an inpatient rehab center and is now living at a sober halfway house. Away from her children and family. She had spent five years sober. I am using her story as a cautionary tale about complacency. Getting and staying sober takes work. Sometimes it is annoying as hell, boring, not fun, a chore - you name it. But it is SO MUCH BETTER than the alternatives - rehab, losing kids, losing a job, time away from your family, anxiety, etc.

Work your sobriety like your life depends on it. It does.

xo
Pav

[Pavati]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

And just to be clear, I don't at all mean to make anyone feel bad for drinking. We all know it happens. I am trying to inspire you to try some new tools to prevent it from happening again.

Love and strength!
Pav

[Eloise]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thanks for posting Pavati.
I too think 'if this can happen to them, it can happen with me too.'
I have listened to the Relapse Prevention Podcast several times, it does me a lot of good. Off to sleep, peace to us all.

[available]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Morning loamers, well its monday here and pouring rain but the beginning of another week.

Pav i dont know what our mood was about but it wasnt a nice one, as Jvo says we just have to deal with it without al. I didnt have a strong urge to drink but i felt 100 times worse than when i have pms. Now that was bad. So many people have left here that are probably drinking and that is so sad, especially the ones with big days. I, like you worry that its only a matter of time before i drink again and thats scary but in saying that i have all my tools in place to not drink, to not lose what i have gained in the past 8 months.

Daisy sending you hugs girl and i am sorry you are going through Day 1 again. I dont know if i could come back if i drank.

have a lovely sunday and hope your bike ride LB was invigorating and fun. I am so not a bike person, feel i will fall off at every corner.

I think i may have to listen to the bubble hour, nearly have me Pav ha ha

[NoSugar]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

jane27;1691905 wrote:
I hate to bitch, but I can’t believe how much work this involves. I guess because I’m not feeling great I feel like I need to be cautious and connected to the goal of sobriety, and I don’t necessarily ‘wanna’.

It does involve work but I find it more interesting, social, rewarding, and just plain fun than the time, effort, drudgery, and despair required to feed an addiction.

If I have to always deal with this at the level I am now, or even at the level I had to at the beginning, I'm still doing much less "work" than I was doing before at what must surely be one of the worst jobs in the world.

I'm sorry you're still not feeling better, Jane, but it is hard to imagine that you'd be feeling better if you still were drinking and it is likely that you'd feel much, much worse. :l

[patrice]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Hi Daisy, I'm sorry you drank. I did too over the weekend.
I'm also not going to give up trying. I know why I drank, boredom, loneliness, stress. I go back to work on Wednesdat which will take all this now empty time off my hands.
I didn't come on here because the internet was down on and off all weekend and I didn't txt you Linda because I left my phone somewhere ( finally found it under the car seat )
Yeah, I feel like shit, this is the 2nd weekend in a row that I drank. Again it wasn't a lot, not even enough to get drunk. But we all know that's not the point....
I'm begining to think I'm quite depressed and I'm going to the Dr this morning for a chat. The last 6 weeks on holiday with little money and a 9 year old to entertain is getting difficult and I'm so sick of him saying 'I'm bored".. I'm really struggling with money at the moment which is getting me down
It's my sons 9th birthday today, he's so excited but I could obnly afford a really small present so at least he has one to open. Days like this I find really hard. Me and my son. All other family and friends 9 hour flight away. I've organized a small party for later.
I'm sorry ladies, I feel a bit useless this time. This huge long addiction keeps pulling me back, not back to the depths I was last year or early this year but still back..
I'm really on day 1 again
Please don't be too disappointed in me, I am. But I can't stop stopping. I have to do it.
I'm inspired by all those doing well
Xx
Pat

[Guitarista]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Yo Loamer's near and not so far,

Hang in there Daisy and Pat. Your recent AF time are a positive achievements, not to be forgotten. I went back at 99 days earlier this year....

Pat, many happy returns to your son on his birthday.

All the best at the docs. I put my reason for continuing to go back to drinking after AF periods down to depression/low mood, and self medicating that feeling. Now i am aware of what is going on, i feel much more capable in addressing it. For me that means positive thinking/tweaking my attitude, with my core strategy being daily exercise/running.

Day 13 and feeling good. Kick some arse out there y'all. Take it easy.

G bloke.

[wagmore]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Pat - Sorry to hear you're struggling with several things right now, including money, Al and possibly depression. That's a tough trio to deal with. I understand some of the challenges of being so far away from family, as I lived that life for quite a few years. It can make special days and holidays somewhat harder at times. I hope the Dr was able to help you out in some way.

The best gift you can give your son is being AF. I know you know that. You sound pretty self-aware, pretty knowledgeable about what triggered you to drink. I'm sure returning to work on Wed will help alleviate some of those triggers. For any that remain, rework your plan, post and read here, tie a knot and hang on if you have to.

:l

[patrice]

Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

Thank you G and Wags
Thanks Wags for understanding.. I don't want to sound like a whinger but I am quite depressed and lonely here at the moment. I don't want to be living in Malaysia, I want to go back to NZ but I'm on my own and need to save money to get back there... Yes you are right, celebration days are hard...he misses his cousins and grandma, I do to. Jeez, how to make cool birthday for him with a couple of dollars and 6 little boys...oh to be able to pop over for a cuppa with an old friend that didn't cost a fortune a take a 9 hour flight...sorry to complain.
G - I'm not doing any exercise, I know this is part of a missing piece here. I just seem to have no motivation to start. Help!!

Xx
Pat