Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[NoSugar]

Thanks, LB! I love young adult literature and will check this out.

EDIT: Hey - the kindle edition is free on Amazon :smile:.

[scottish lass]

Well now - those who remember my posts from last year (not sure I do mind you!) will recall that I got a 6 month membership in a wine of the month club from two teams of my staff at work - so for 6 months two bottles of wine were delivered to my door every month when I had managed to start to get a start on being af!I still have about 10 bottles in the garage. This year two of them approached me with an envelope - and I started to get nervous - they said, we hear you stopped drinking, so got something different! A six month membership that delivers pasta and sauce, some popcorn and a redbox movie voucher - movie and dinner - once a month! Isn't that just wonderful!!

[narilly]

SL, that is an amazing gift! You obviously are well loved. (Like you are here) . That is so nice.

Thanks for the book suggestion Lil B.

Goodnight everyone.

[Pavati]

Good Evening--

Thanks for the recommendation, LB. And free is good, too.

SL - That story actually brought tears to my eyes. People can be so thoughtful! I am thoughtful in other ways, but not in the gift/card department. I don't remember birthdays, or what someone said they needed. Maybe that's part of my stress this time of year. Wow. And now I made your delightful story all about me... Maybe you could give them 10 bottles of wine in return...

Nar - How are you feeling? Those thoughts gone?

I'm off to bed.

xo
Pav

[Pavati]

OK - Hope you all are ok. I''m back again with no one in between!

Hope December is treating everyone well.

xo
Pav

[scottish lass]

Gosh - what a quiet thread!
Thanks for my comments about my gift - my reaction was more to the knowledge that it is out there that I am a non drinker - point of no return now!!
As Pav says - hope everyone is ok...

[little beagle]

Dinner and a movie. That's a wonderful present. All you need is one of Jane's pool boys.

[NoSugar]

To characterize yourself as a non-drinker is pretty cool, SL.

Last night I was driving a couple of my friends to join a couple other friends for dinner. Anytime I drive at night, it occurs to me that I'm so glad I'm also a non-drinker - I didn't like driving with even a little alcohol in my system (and went to great lengths to ensure I wasn't the driver for evening events...). But last night, as I waited in the driveway for my friend to come out, it occurred to me that I was so glad that I wasn't going to have that buzzy feeling that one or two glasses of wine gives you. For a long time, I really missed that feeling and then I sort of forgot about it. Last night was the first time I realized that that now sounds unpleasant. I'm so much happier and content always feeling "with it" and as much as we can be, in control. I think the only thing I miss now is how drinking warms you up when the restaurant is too chilly (which to me, they usually are). Last night I had decaf with cream instead of fizzy water - that turned out great because it seemed like a treat with the cream in it but made me warmer instead of colder.

I hope it's quiet here because everyone is busily preparing for a fun, AF, holiday season!

[Pavati]

Hi,

Sounds cool, NS. Lately if I imagine that feeling of a glass or two all I can conjure is a headache and stuffy/bad feeling. I have no desire to feel like that. My longing has to do with fitting in, more, and looking for the person who doesn't have to take the extra minute to jump in and have a good time. The exception is when I am stressed or agitated and I know a drink would bring me down instantly. Good thing there are other methods. I like driving at night now, too. (and BTW, I am not in a longing phase right now - happy to be rid of it, frankly).

Northern California has reacted to the idea of a "storm" by shutting down schools all over. Makes me feel like a wimp - really just some rain. Granted, a lot of it, after some good rain last week, but I am perplexed at our over preparation. HOWEVER, I get some time at home to sort through some work, stay in my pajamas, and maybe head out for a good hike in the rain. AAAhhh.

xo
Pav

[scottish lass]

Our schools are not shut down, but it is wet here - few branches down so far - but a lot of panic.
I did hear a lot of power outs to teh north of us. I did take a little advantage of all the media and chose to work from home, but no PJ's for me Pav:congratulatory: Have popped the flannel sheets on my bed though!

[peppersnow]

Hi folks - Happy happy season...and may all the joys of the Yuletide season, etc., etc! Just popping in to say hello. I'm a bit overwhelmed with work and school right now, but happy to say this is the first season that I've successfully (so far) been able to say "no" to all the holiday expectations that I thought others always imposed on me. The reality is that I put those expectations on myself. Nobody to blame but me. We celebrate Christmas and will have a nice dinner..there will be a tree...folks will get a few presents...but I'm not decorating this year and jumping through all those hoops I created for myself. I've said this before in other ways, but for me, sobriety means I don't have to pretend to be perfect anymore. Or even really good. I can embrace mediocrity during this season and still feel good about myself, because I'm happy and healthy.

Except for a few days ago -- when I came down with food poisoning and was incredibly violently ill. After the fact, I thought about my drinking days, and a few hangovers back in the day that were nearly as bad as food poisoning. So glad to have those days completely behind me forever. The last few days recovering after the worst of the food poisoning was over, though, felt a lot like my hangovers right before I quit: icky gut, no energy, tired, brain fog. No guilt or self-loathing, though, this time. The moral of my story is that I'd prefer another episode of food poisoning over that constant blechy feeling all the time, every day from my drinking life. The other moral is, if you use natural peanut butter (with the oil floating on the top), you should refrigerate that stuff after opening or at least keep an eye on the expiration date.

Hope all are well, and staying strong this season!

[little beagle]

Thank you for telling me that Pepper. I am busily making my yearly candy and peanut butter balls use, well, peanut butter. And I have that kind. I would not be a good thing for my clients to come down with food poisoning.

[abcowboy]

Howdy all! Just a quick check in to say all is good up here, weather has warmed up considerably and I'm still busy as ever with work! But this year I welcome being extra busy as it keeps my days filled with work instead of thoughts of who I should go visit for a Christmas drink! The new me, and I kind of like him!

And also a big CONGRATS to Narilly, 8 months today!! Way to go lady!!

[NoSugar]

Great to hear from you, Pepper! So sorry about the food poisoning but what a great reminder of how we never want to deliberately make ourselves feel again. Each time I'm nauseous or have a headache for some reason, I marvel that I put up with feeling like that most days, even though I knew I was doing it to myself! Those are the things that remind me how powerful the force of addiction can be.

If you haven't seen it, Frances put a great contribution in the Relapse thread - what happened to her is something I can imagine happening to me if I let my guard down. I don't think it's that uncomfortable or difficult to keep my guard UP (by staying involved here) so I like reminders to do that.

ABC, you're sounding great! I love reading the quotes you post each day in your 24-hour thread. Thank you.

SL, I'm glad to hear you're not floating away! Pav might be by now -- I saw images of people kayaking down some streets in San Francisco!

LB, I would love candy with natural PB and dark chocolate. Do you have a recipe for that?? I hope your clients appreciate you!

I was at a large cocktail party last night where I swear the air had molecules of wine in it there were so many open bottles and glasses! Happy to say that I was really turned off by that smell I used to love.

xx, NS

[jane27]

Hi gang, Narilly, congratulations on banking 8 fat months of sobriety!

NS, by checking out the wine bottles I meant consciously looking at the alcohol / acknowledging it , as opposed to to the early days of my quit ....covering eyes and ears "I can't hear you...I can't see you" style. It is a different experience for me when we go to Florida where they sell wine in CVS, Wallgreens & Target. In NJ where I live, I only come face to face with that if I go into a liquor store. I've done that 1 time since I've quit- to buy 1 bottle of wine for a friend that was coming over to see the house before we went out for dinner. She drank 1 glass, and I poured the rest out before we left for the restaurant.

Am going through an uncomfortable stage with my husband. On weekends, he is very moody and clingy. I tried to speak with him and encourage him to think about what he feels like doing/eating/accomplishing then moving forward with a plan regardless of what everyone else is doing. Instead he usually waits around watching TV and then gets cabin fever and annoyed. For the first time in 11 years I feel freaked out by the possibility that we may not enjoy doing the same things. I like to do projects around the house- we have heaps of shit to organize, he doesn't care for that at all. I feel like he enjoys shopping on the internet, food & lording over the boys. A1 can take off because he can drive. A2 stays in his fort all day long playing video games. He's 15. Mr Jane watched 3 hours of Storage Wars on TV the other night when we were in Florida. I watched 30-40 mins and then I went to bed.

Conversationally he is extremely literal and linear in his thinking. I am ADD and all over the place but most people seem to follow along with what I'm saying fine. I feel as though I cant talk about two things that are unconnected without building in a verbal bridge to explain and that is really challenging for me- like trying to solve a problem backwards. He is highly educated and successful in his career but pronounces with 'wit' . It drives me insane. If the mood will support it I will point it out to him , "You said wit again".

He really seems annoyed with me, & almost like he doesn't like me. When I bring it up he denies it. Feels like an ugly place we are in and Im probably at fault. I am not having much fun in the relationship. I think it was on the mark when I tried to encourage him to do some things on his own, eat when he feels hungry, but maybe the way I communicated it was bad. Generally I like to hang around the house, read, organize, watch a movie. He always seems itching to get out of the house, go to Home Depot or Target, stop by his mothers house- but cant get motivated to do it on his own. He wants tasty meals and snacks- but is overweight and has diabetes- so the choices are limited. A1 is super picky and rarely hungry.

I have been good with MIL but she got pissy about our going to Florida. I sort of want to run away. Miserable seems like too strong a word, but ugh to this whole situation. And, I have to find a place to have dinner with my father & stepmother tomorrow night. Hubs may come but doesn't feel comfortable leaving A2, 15 home alone for 3 hours. This is the kind of shit I'm talking about. Its all for one and one for all every weekend. So suffocating.

I hope Frances didn't fall off the wagon. Will now go over to the Relapse Thread. I have been thinking about her.

Love to all xoxo