Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[scottish lass]

Pepper - really well done for checking in - hopefully you are doing some great urge surfing, and are too mean to spend money on drinks on the plane - and can sign back in to say the moment has passed!
I really wanted to drink today too - not really a carving, just a desire to put my head in the sand and drinking can do that - wanted to hide from problems, but doesn't make them go away does it!! We have to keep our huge wins intact...sorry you had bad news, I did today as well - but we are better able to deal with the bad now aren't we...

[scottish lass]

PS - I know you are worried Nar....hope all settles and the new job comes thru. I am loving filling my car for $60 instead of $100 - but don't want you to be worried about your future - hope it all works out xxx

[scottish lass]

Pepper - for you!!
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[available]

Hi Gloamers

Sounding good cowboy and Jvo. I am going to see Roxette with Kiera in February and cant wait and i will be sober. Woo hoo to that. we will go out for dinner and see the concert and i will have a sleep over.

Nar, its funny how we see people for what they really are when we are in the "now". I am trying to be friends with my boss but he is still a wanker so its not the fact i was drinking lol. The good thing is we are working on our issues even if others are not.

LC go with the flow. If you are tired sleep, hungry then eat, lazy then be it. The world wont end girl.

Pepper i hope you are okay and got through your urge. Touch wood i have not had an incredible craving for months now. I wonder what set it off, they say our subconscious works in mysterious ways.

SL not long till that year. I wonder what al tastes like sometimes but i so wont go there. I dont think i ever really liked the taste of it, just the effect and that wasnt overly fun either. Not long till a year now.

LB i remember your last mardi gras parade, this one will be much more fun for you and the dogs! Hope hubs is doing well.

Pat, Pat, Pat how did you go yesterday? I cant imagine doing anything in the heat you have in your part of the world.

Well i am having a year already. Maddison had pancreatitis and was in the vet hospital end of december and now poppy my shitzu had to have emergency surgery and is not doing so well. Neither is my bank balance but thats the least of my worries. At no time did i crave for a drink, that will not help poppy in her recovery or me. Robert is doing okay, he has some lesions on his liver that they are going to burn off or something on Tuesday. He is home and with home with his partner and puppies which is what he wants and enjoying just being alive. So life is hectic and stressful but im okay. Life goes on but i am so not going to kill anymore chinamen as the saying goes.

Take care
xxxx

Ps: Hi NS and Pav and anyone i have missed.

[patrice]

Hiya,
Ava - it was great yesterday..walked an hour and a half with a couple of friends.. Saw 2 different types of monkey.. ( they have Dusky Leaf Monkeys here , black with white fur around the eyes.. Really cute . And then the ugly Joe Average brown Monkys which I hate because they can be so aggressive. Also saw a huge grey snake about 2 meters long.. Watched it for ages slithering around.. Then we saw the most stunning butterflies the size of a large hand..Nature! Love it..
I felt great when I got home , no thoughts at all. Got up at 5 am to go to the annual school cross country.. No, running, marshaling .. Better
Anyway , that halo above my head is gonna strangle me soon haha
One thing I'm learning this time is just ' Being' is great but it's got to be complimented by 'Doing' as well. And for me doing more is helping me a lot..
Pepper, fab that you posted here...x
SL - 11 months .. Wow fabulous
Hope you a all having a restorative sleep.. It's 10.39 am here and it's now too hot to do anything for the next 6 hours
Take care
Pat
Xx

[narilly]

Pepper, glad you didn't drink and got through it. Those cravings sure can hit you when you least expect them. Same for you SL.
Ava, sorry your doggies are having such a rough time.
Pat, the monkeys sound awesome and so do you.

Lil b- hi there

Hey I am tired so goodnight. Looking forward to waking up Un Hung.

Hugs Pav

Xo

[peppersnow]

Thanks for all the positive energy sent my way while I was up in the air - I'm pretty sure I caught it. Just got home, and still a bit physically jittery - la bit of nerves - but no longer craving. I think this happened because I learned about a devastating work-related issue while in an airport, standing in the security line. It's a legal social justice issue that impacts the community I work for, and the bad guys won, so it was also very emotional and I was sad and furious all at once. Airports are such a high stress place anyway, just generally, energy-wise. I had very strong physical desire to walk into the closest bar once through security and order a double gin and tonic. I kept telling myself that the physical sensation I was craving (the warmth hitting my stomach, body gradually feeling a bit more jello-like, pulse slowing) wasn't going to change anything, that this shitty situation would still be shitty except that I'd be hurting myself and opening up the floodgates. How insane would that be? I didn't even kid myself about "just one" because I was already thinking of a double shot. You're all right, though, it did pass. I think the L Glutamine and GABA helped, too, along with deep breathing. When I landed in Minneapolis it was still there, but less intense. I turned on my phone and saw your messages, which helped a ton. Thank you so much to all of you!! It made me feel not alone and supported...and made a difference in a real way. Airport stores were all closing up and I wasns't hungry, but there was a McDonalds open, so even though I've been on a pretty strict clean eating diet, I broke all the rules and ate crap I haven't eaten in months. I thought the physical distraction of eating anything might help. By the time I got onto my second flight, the worst of the craving had passed... Except now I have McDonalds gut rot, but I'll take that over drinking poison. Good night, GLOAMERS and thank you again for helping me this evening. You are a powerful group with powerful medicine: that of community! Sorry this is all about me, but just wanted to write that I made it and am okay and now am hitting my bed. Goodnight North America, and good morning to the rest of you! I'm so incredibly grateful for your support.

[patrice]

I really like your post Pepper and can so relate to it. I have the same feeling about airports and without realizing it become very anxious very quickly .. Especially big chaotic airports..yuk.
A McDonalds was just the ticket.. Yep I too am a clean eater and it always does the same to my stomach, immediately! But it is better than the bar and better than wandering round the airport trying to choose a healthier option walking past bars..
Hey good for you! And everyone here.. Collective and connected!

[little beagle]

Pepper yay!!!
Pat those monkeys sound great. The snake? Not!!! The butterflies almost mystical.
Sorry for Poppy Ava. Hope she feels better real soon.
Narilly hurray to un-hung Saturday morning.

[Pavati]

Hi, Ladies:

Another long day - not complaining, just fact. zzzzzz

NS - Glad you got through your situation. I love feeling sober when there is a need for someone to take charge - and I'm always glad when it is me this year.

Pepper - Good on you for posting here. Sorry about whatever news you got. I am with you about airplanes. I had to fly two days after that recent crash, and I usually have a couple of shots to get me through the flying panic anyway. Good on you for posting here and taking your supplements.

Ava - What a year, indeed. Good thing you're sober.

Nar - Good luck on the new job.

Patrice -that walk sounds great.

LB, J-Vo, Cowboy, anyone I missed - Happy Friday. Will check in more tomorrow.

xo
Pav

[NoSugar]

Pepper, I'm so happy to read that post from you! Isn't it amazing how it helps to put how you're feeling out here in words instead of letting everything just churn inside you until you just can't take it anymore and have to get relief somehow? It's kind of like posting is a bit of a pressure release valve. It doesn't really solve anything but it sure makes the situation manageable. Plus, the external accountability really helps. I mentioned to someone the other day that I've never wanted or needed that before and was generally too tough on myself, if anything. There are several problems with that but foremost among them was that I had no idea how to deal with a force as powerful as an addiction that I could not "control". I'm sorry you have a serious work problem to deal with but so glad you'll be in the best shape possible to do so. xx

[j-vo]

Patrice, doing more does help sometimes. Distractions are good. I agree with that. Sometimes when I'm too tired, though, sitting and watching netflix is a good enough distraction for me, but getting out and doing something feels good. Just like the concert the other night. I felt so good listening to the music, dancing, and it was better than any drink would give me.

LC, I'm glad you're going to AA every now and then. I was thinking about it myself, and may start going once in while with a friend from work. I didn't like the whole concept and cult feeling i got last time I was a regular member, but I think just connecting now and then would be good for me. Enjoy your friend!

Nar, I hope you get an interview for the job. I'll put in a little prayer for ya. You sound fantastic, and you look great in that new outfit!

Pepper, what a great post. And you did what you needed and should do when you had the craving. That's exactly how we need to get through these things, and hopefully they become less strong as we become stronger. Sorry about the work situation. But you won last night for sure.

LB, I'm following you and listening to you when you say it's so worth it. I can't wait to get to the point where you, Ava, NS, Nar, and Pav are.

SL, good for you for getting through that crappy day and not burying your head in alcohol. I guess we'll continue to have these, but with our tools, we can get through them.

I'm getting my roots done (hair) today, then have a little shopping to do. Baseball season will be beginning shortly after basketball season ends and we're having a night at the races I have to work at. Have to get a Chinese auction basket together. Last night's game was bad, we lost and son didn't play too well. I had to move away from my group of parents as we were right near the asshole coach and I could hear every word he was screaming at the boys. Screw that. I went and sat somewhere I didn't have to see or hear the freaking lunatic. It brought my anxiety down.

Have a great day all, and NS, congratulations on your two years. You rock, and I love you.

[narilly]

NS is it true? Two years? YAY!!!! Wohoo! So happy for you. You are a big inspiration to me and have helped me So Much. I am proud of You!

UnHung and ready to start the day. We are going for breakfast soon. I have gone for breakfast hungover so many times in the past. When hungover I would feel like crap, my eyes would be puffy and stomach churning. There would also be feelings of embarrassment or remorse from the night before. I am so glad not to have that now. Yes!

Pepper, that was a great post. Airports are high stress for sure and I know exactly what you are talking about with McDonalds. Sometimes I am really thankful that McDonalds exists, seriously, I am sure it has saved a few lives.

J-Vo, my roots are grey too, touch up please!

Xo

[abcowboy]

Howdy gloamers!

I don’t know how you all post and mention everyone in your post! I would need my laptop, IPad, and tablet all running so that I could scroll back, read, add to post, scroll back, read, add to post etc. etc. lol

So instead, I use the thanks/likes options. That way, I can let people know that I’m around and reading the posts even if I don’t respond to each and every one. I contemplate all that I’ve read, mull it around in my head, and then just post my thoughts. It seems to work for me so I’ll just continue being who I am.

Things have been a lot better for me. Reading posts about how we “battle” our addictions and how to some, it is a daily struggle. But as others have said, if it is that much of a battle, maybe we’re doing something wrong? Thinking back, all of my drinking career was only bad when I binged. I could go days, weeks, months being a social drinker, having just one or two, or none at all! There was no battle or struggle. But inevitably the “binge” rolled around and turned me into a completely different person! It proved to me that I was an alcoholic. After reading all the posts, going to AA, and talking with other recovering alcoholics, I realized there were many faces to alcoholism. It’s not how much you drink, how often you drink, or even who you drink with, it’s what happens to you when you drink! How much control does alcohol have over you? Or do you control it? I would like to think that I could be a social drinker, and for the most part I am….there are the key words “for the most part” But then the other part of me rears it’s ugly head and I turn into a completely different person, no thoughts about anyone else, not caring who I hurt or worried, it is ALL about me! Well, I can’t have my cake and eat it too, I either stay drinking and have a couple of blowouts a year till the day comes that I really hurt myself or someone else, drive all my loved ones, family and friends, away from me. Or I can stop playing Russian Roulette with alcohol and not battle or struggle or wonder when the next one or two turns into one or two too many. Looking back, the decision seems pretty simple…

Have a great weekend everyone, no drinkin’ or druggin’ eh!

[available]

Hi gloamers

I cant remember when i stopped drinking then not drinking then drinking then not drinking for a few days. I do know for the past 7 years plus i was drinking every single day. I also thought that if i could make it past the age my brother died from alcoholism (46) i would be fine. How stupid is that! I did luckily make it past 46 but al started to rule my life. Never in my wildest dreams did i ever think i would rid al out of my life. I got to a point where i didnt really care if i did live or die but yesterday when i was talking to my daughter she told me that i was the strongest person she knew and that she always had faith in me but she could never broach my al problem with me as i became defensive +++. Now to us as a family it seems like it was someone else, that it wasnt me that was a problem drinker. Now i freely admit i am an alcoholic and that i can never ever ever drink again. My children also accept what i am and are very protective of any situation i am in involving al. To me now that is who i am, its made me stronger this addiction in its own way. Its made me a new person who loves herself, its made me happier, more content, more able to deal with life as it is. I know there will be hurdles along the way as i am still recovering and i suppose i always will be as i have to always be aware of situations involving al etc but I accept that now i cant have that one drink, i wont test myself that maybe i just can have one as i dont ever want to do a day 1 again as long as i live. Today i have too much to live for to waste it on a bottle of wine. All of this has taken time, the longer time i am away from al, the better it gets.

On a happy note my shitzu is doing better. Its like having a bloody newborn in the house though!

Take care loamers and Happy 2nd birthday NS, all of the above that i said you have helped me achieve and i thank you.