Ladies on a Mission: The Official Site

[jane27]

Thinking of you Dottie. Stay strong. Minutes don't have to match, and they wont. Keep your to do list as simple as possible , let the emotions flow through you, memorize in bolded & underlined how much better talking to someone makes you feel. This may help you make an effort to do it even when you don't want to. Take warm baths and every time you do any of these positive things that collectively are going to pull you through- feel proud of yourself, for being in the moment and making your husband feel the peace of knowing that you are going to be ok. Wishing you strength and love.

[Byrdlady]

Dottie,
My heart continues to bleed for your great loss. It isn't fair. No words of mine will help ease this horrific pain. We are all thinking of you constantly and feeling helpless with our words. May you be wrapped in strong arms of comfort and peace. B

[Ginger999]

Dottie, Thinking of you and sending you a huge hug. :hug:

[jane27]

GMAE Gloamers,

I was thinking about the need for approval this morning. MWO has been (accidentally) helpful to me in this area. The group dynamic of our common goal, the friendships I've made, and the openness throughout the boards has been a great safe place to learn to trust & take ownership. I still have a long way to go. Have always had a deep fear that I am unable to take care of myself. I was looking around on Psychology Today and found this article which I thought was interesting, so I thought I would share it.

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/09/20/what-drives-our-need-for-approval/

[narilly]

Whenever someone dies there are so many rituals around it. One of the rituals always seems to be drinking. 'lets have a toast to...' My best friend died when I was 17 and I totally dealt with it by drinking. I drank to deal with the pain. At 17, I had no idea how to deal with it plus I was in the accident and had major guilt issues. (still have a bit of that)
One thing I learned was not to drink to deal with grief. I had another very close friend die when I was 26 and I made sure I did not drink to deal with his death because I knew that it just made things worse.
Its so easy to drink to dull the pain and it feels great until you take the second drink and the next day the grief is even worse.
I am not at all comparing my situation to yours Dottie but just talking about grief.

Dottie, this is probably going to be the hardest thing you will go through and it is SO painful. Please feel the pain and don't dull it with booze. I know you won't, you are very strong in your sobriety.
We are here for you with much love and caring.

[scottish lass]

Quiet thread today - I know I was thinking of what to write and it all seemed trivial with Dotties news.
I am going to take the plunge and be a wee bit trivial - because I need you guys/gals and enjoy chattering...

Is it Friday yet? - each day seems longer and longer....the weather has been good today, when I have been in the office - and the weekend's weather is not so great. Really should not complain, as it is much better than lots of others are dealing with. Busy weekend coming up getting the girls everywhere they need to be - I really need to get my oldest up and driving, it would be such a huge help - will just have to deal with the worry that will cause!

Dottie - you are on my mind, Hope you get some rest, and maybe even some sleep. I also hope the family arriving comes with some comfort too

[treetops]

Thanks for posting SL -I too worried about talking about trivial matters too when Dottie is on our thoughts. Its Friday - the old witching time - here. No desire to drink AL although I am tired, exhausted and have a very sore throat. All things that would have sent me rushing to the wine bottle once especially as I would have thought I deserved it for my hard work during the week.
SL - I need to also get my girl to learn to drive but she just will not bother to study for and sit the written test - so we can't organize any practical lessons yet. Her school is even offering hugely reduced defensive driving lessons but thats only for people who have their learners' license. She is a bit under the weather at the moment with a sore throat as well, plus school assignments - so I am not pushing it.
Yes the weather is turning - no colored leaves yet but our days are getting shorter. Its still quite warm - rather lovely. I hope you all enjoy the spring when its sprung. Do you get much of a seasonal change like that in North America? I know Pat misses out on the seasons in Malaysia - but she also misses out on the cold.

These will be such hard days for you Dottie and we hope we can help a wee bit - even through the internet.

[scottish lass]

Hi TT - My girl is the same, she has to do the pre-work to start, sadly nothing offered thru school, but just got to get it going!
We do have seasons - daffodils are out and lots of blossoms. Supposed to get snow at 3,500 feet this weekend, which is visible from where I live. We get a sprinkle of snow every couple years, and do get frosts a few nights a year. We then get loads of blossoms as there are nut and fruit orchards and vineyards everywhere. Then the heat in summer with temps over 100. Then leaves turn and fall - not spectacular fall colours but you can find pretty colours...
Our days are getting longer...spring is on its way for sure...
Time to start to get sorted for bed and end of Thursday - so strange when you are well into Friday! Car in for a service tomorrow - hoping nothing more than the normal hefty bill - poor little car is 5 yrs old and has 145,000 miles!

[Pavati]

Hi, Gloamers:

I am struggling for words this evening.

I had a great dinner out with friends on Monday - old friends and no one drank. Such an odd thing...

I came home tonight after a pretty brutal meeting (things are awry at work in case you hadn't noticed), and my husband was drinking a martini. Lo and behold, I didn't want one. I never thought that day would come. Really I just want to get into a bath and get in bed and read - that's where I'm heading.

Hope you're getting good family support, Dot.

xo
Pav

[jane27]

Hi Gloamers, yesterday our baby sitter turned up with a serious injury. Her 10 year old cocker spaniel bit her badly. We went to the Mede merge and got her looked at and meds prescribed. Today I took her and her dog to the vet to put him to sleep. I felt good that I could be there for her. It was her first dog and its a very sad & confusing decision. She made the right decision. He went peacefully and we held him throughout then gave him a kiss and hug goodbye. It's going to be ok. The price of love I guess it how sad it feels when you lose a loved one, or pet. I think of my 4 dogs every day, especially Sam & also Kuma. I loved them so much. I had a human like connection with Sam, and I still feel it nearly a year since he's been gone, I have so much love for him. I just wish he was here so I could hug him. When this happens, and its usually when I'm in bed waiting to fall asleep, I just close my eyes and try to think of him. The earnest expression he made when he was trying to sense how I was feeling. He was blind and you'd never know it by the range of his facial expressions. He trusted me complelety and was so grateful for the good care I took to keep him out of pain when he was struggling through glaucoma. Even though he ended up going blind, he knew I had his back and was devoted to me. Wishing everyone a GMAE. Xoxo
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[patrice]

Aww Jane, gorgeous dogs! We can't have a dog here ,living in an apartment but my 9 year old is desperate to get a dog and I think we will when we leave Asia...

Pav - wow that's fantastic that you didn't want a drink, will get more and more like that right? I'm the opposite today, I really wanted a drink, hot and tired... Grrr. Pretty sure I could have stopped myself but I'm having some tests tomorrow and after being abstinent for a while I don't want to blow it by having booze in my system so that's sorted!
I haven't got too much to say, both attempts at kimchi and fermented cabbage and daikon have failed... Mmm they were so salty, totally inedible. Got more bones for bone broth this weekend.. I'm sold on that stuff ! I've been following a paleo style eating plan for quite a long time now but with less meat than advocated and with the addition of certain types of dairy.. I think much like you Nar but I haven't been eating bread or pasta mainly because I don't really like them.
Went to the Doc today and I've lost another 5 kgs since last time.. Yikes really didn't want that!! I'm having some bloods done so I think they will be able to show me how that style of eating is working out for my body.. I personally love it but maybe I'm not getting enough energy..
Does anyone know about HRT?? It was briefly mentioned today at the doctors... Mmm

I hope you are all ok
Dottie, special vibes for you xx
Pat

[jane27]

Hi Gloamers, another chilly morning in Joisey. I spoke with our insurance company yesterday regarding the claim we have in process for the flood and he said that he is buried by a stream of claims that are coming in due to pipes freezing,my racking and flooding. All of this stuff has made me interested in learning about how things at home work & preventive maintenance. It would seem that this stuff really could be better dialed in by now, with standards in place to address whatever the unique atmospheric conditions are. I'm still so annoyed about the cracked plastic toilet supply nut that caused our problem. Plastic in general I'm not thrilled with. A friend convinced my to for a plane ride with his father in their Piper Saratoga plane. Both of them are engineers and instrument trained pilot. At 2 thousand feet the door passenger door flew all the way open because a little plastic latch broke in half. ( check out the emergency hatch next time you're on a plane). I went from being scared to accepting that I was going to die. Thankfully we didn't crash because they didn't panic. We communicated via radio and made an emergency landing at a tiny airport in the middle of farmland Pennsylvania. I wish that plastic was not considered acceptable for use in high pressure environments!
Going down to Florida for a long weekend and have vowed to not shell this time. I got so many last trip and unfortunately some of them turned out to still be alive. When the new moon comes all the toddler, teen and young adult shells get together and have a swap meet so that growing folks can find a shell that offers more space. I was there a week after the new moon last time so must have picked up some teeny boppers that were living large in their new condos ( with so much room, I couldn't see that there was an occupant). Boy oh boy oh boy do those guys smell.
Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend. Thinking of you Dottie.

[scottish lass]

Quick check in - up to my eyes. Things will come to a head with my wayward employee next week, so ensuring my documentation is up to par. Know how you feel about work Pav - I do think that if I saw a martini though, I would want it. I feel so grateful I live in an af home, I really am not sure I would be at a year if it was in the house...
Hoping to get a mortgage - in a rent to own situation - have a long list of paperwork to complete for that.
Got a lovely year end bonus at work - planned how to spend it all - taxman too 40% so I overspent! Bought tickets for flight home - holy moly - airlines have not realized oil prices have dropped - bonus came and went in 3 hours!!!!
So - blah about money and paperwork......
Oh - and car in for service - supposed to be $300, but, yep - got the call - only another $500 of work found - how do they ALWAYS find something else???
OK - enough whining - for sure it could be worse! Thinking of you Jane....and Dottie too
I have done the shell thing too Jane - bury them in the garden for a year....
Hope the rain stays away so I can get my walk in tomorrow - need to move....then I may have energy to get paperwork together...
Better stop now before I find more to whine about - stick smile on face SL!!!

[treetops]

Hi there everyone -as long as you leave the 'h' in whine SL thats OK. So your Trip is booked home - thats great, make sure you try to do some different things so you don't get stuck in old ways. Can you have some separate time from your parents? Think of it as a buffer zone.
Jane - I had to reread your post to understand what you meant be 'shell' - thought it was shellshock at first!
Pav - its so great when you don't have a desire to drink even when others are partaking. Also - would people find martinis so enticing if they were served in plastic cups? Actually in my drinking past many yonks ago a group of us young co-workers and partners used to have Martini Monday - and drink martinis out of old (albeit small) glass jars. Sounds so gross but we had fun. This was when I lived in the tropics. Don't get ideas Pat!
I'm trudging through the weekend with my sore throat but its not too big of a deal.
Hope all the Gloamers are looking forward to the weekend - LB, NS, Narilly and others - I am still trying to learn names. Its been such a very sad week with Dot.

[available]

hi gloamers, just a quick check in. Life never seems to stop now i am sober. When i drank all i wanted it to do was stop which it pretty well had. I am off to see Robert today, he is not well but still fighting the fight. My shitzu is unwell also and i am back to the vets, i think it is a matter of time before they will suggest i put her down. I know i cant go into anymore debt with the vet and its now $2500 but i will see what happens and i am dreading it. I know i wont drink as i dont drink but my anxiety is up there! Oh well onward and upwards, there are people worse off than me as i always tell myself.

Thinking of you Dot and hope you are coping as best you can.